My Biggest Fear

I could end this all right now and make everyone's lives better. I mean, people wouldn't worry so much about me.

Hell, I might even feel happier after this happens.

But I won't admit aloud. I'll never admit aloud.

I'm not scared of Voldemort.

I've never been scared of him. There were times I feared what he was capable of doing to my friends. But let's be honest, you can't be afraid of someone that uses other people to perform his own deeds. In fact, he seems like quite a coward to me. I will say that I received a nasty shock when I met him in my first year...

But he didn't scare me. There's never time to be afraid when you're battling for your life.

And that's the one thing I'm afraid of.

No, it's definitely not losing.

I've been losing ever since I was brought into this world. I've lost my parents, my godfather, my best friends, and my confidence.

It definitely couldn't be losing.

So I'm sitting at the ledge of this cliff, thinking of what it is that I'm afraid of. I want to jump. Nothing would make me happier than to do this.

Since I have been born I have been a burden to possibly anyone that's stepped foot in my path.

Just the other day I saw Narcissa Malfoy... And as evil as anyone could be, I'm sure it hurts a hell of a lot to be lonely. No husband and no son. Even if she is supposedly narcissistic, there had to be one point in her life where she loved Lucius and Draco to death.

And that's another thing I couldn't possibly be afraid of.

Love.

Because when love hit me, it hit me like a bullet hits its target. It hit me so hard and fast, I didn't even know I was in love.

When I finally told her I love her, I was afraid that she wouldn't return the favor. But when she did, the fear of rejection quickly died.

What I was afraid of was losing her.

I think about that now and the tears begin to sting my eyes. If I hadn't been so selfish, I wouldn't have lost her. And as I've lost her now, that fear has ebbed away as all my other so-called fears have.

I'm so desperately searching for a reason to make me walk away from this cliff right now. I want to so badly that I break down on a huge rock.

I need something to tell me to walk away.

But something is also telling me to end the hurt.

I think instantly that my fear could have possibly been death. But I know it so well, that we've become friends. Such an ironic thing to say: I'm a friend with death.

Death had come to visit me since I was a small baby boy.

Mum.

Dad.

Professor Quirrell.

Cedric.

Sirius.

Professor Dumbledore.

Mr. Weasley.

Percy Weasley.

Hermione.

Ron.

And now Ginny.

Ginny has left me... and then I realize what my biggest fear is...

"Uncle Harry!" A voice calls behind me.

I quickly wipe away my tears and turn to see a bright smiling red-haired little girl. She's got her dad's love for Quidditch and her mother's book smarts. They'd be proud to see her today.

And that's my biggest fear...

"What are you doing?" She asks running to me excitedly. I pick her up and she notices that I've been crying.

"Uncle Harry," she says softly. So softly, I began to cry again, "Don't cry. I won't leave you."

And I realize that my biggest fear is leaving...

Leaving her and she lives a life like mine...