The Psychic Runaway

Chapter 4- A Night on the Knight Bus

Harry couldn't decide what (or who) was going crazier- Harry's adrenaline glands or Emily exploding in a fit of joy, ignited by their victory and climaxed by the look Emily had spotted Forthright wearing as she was left in the dust. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" Emily cheered, quite literally happy enough to do acrobatics off the railings above. "That was the most fantastic escape ever conducted! I can see it now- Houdini, Bonnie and Clyde, Jesse James, and Jack the Ripper, all turning in their graves with envy!" Emily's laughter soon became infectious, for Harry soon joined her in that phenomenon and even began spinning her around till they grew dizzy (though happy).

Their laughing, however, soon subsided when Stanley inquired as to its source. "Oh, no reason really," Harry said, both turning pink as he remembered and unloosed his arms around Emily's middle.

"Yeah- no big deal," Emily added, her voice a little out of breath from the excitement. "We were just celebrating a hard-won victory over some pompous bitch, only I guess we were getting a little too carried away."

"Pompous bitch?" Stanley repeated, a look of confusion on his face. " 'Choo mean that lady that was chasing you? That's not very nice to call 'er that, you know."

Harry and Emily huffed in response. "Trust me, Stan," Harry said grimly. "She's lucky to be called by just that."

"I see," said Stan. "So she was really that bad then?"

Harry quickly stepped in before Emily could work herself up. "Um, yes. More than you know."

No sooner had Harry finished saying this when his eyes happened to land on Ernie. He still remembered Ernie from three years ago- old, white-haired, sort of crazy- and while Ernie was still like that, Harry noticed something odd about him that Harry could only guess to be recent: Ernie was shaking, and not from the bus's vibrations. "Erm- Stan?" Harry inquired. "Is Ernie allright?"

Stan and Emily followed Harry's gaze. "Not sure," Stan replied, sounding almost tired as the subject was discussed. "He's been shaking like that more and more, and the whole You-Know-Who's-being-resurrected thing isn't helping. I keep begging him to take a break and let me drive- I mean, I know how to drive this bus almost as well as he does, and let's face it, Ernie's getting...." With this he dropped his voice to whisper, "....old."

"What? What?! What'd you say?" Ernie called out, making the three of them jump.

"Nothing, Ernie," Stan said quickly.

"You said I'm old, didn't you?" Ernie demanded. "(No, Ern-) You think I'm growing dull, don't you? (Of course not-) Well guess what, buster! You can take that and put it up your-" Just then Ernie swerved the bus to the left, narrowly missing a car that in turn gave a loud honk, although (obviously) not directed to Ernie. With that Ernie turned his concentration back onto the road, although he directed a accusatory statement of "Now look what you made me do!"

This apparently lit a spark in Stan's brain, for before Harry or Emily could warn him against doing so Stan retorted, "Me?! You're the one who went crazy and thought I called you old!"

"Old?!" Ernie erupted. "I ain't old!"

"I know you aren't!"

"Then why'd you say I'm old?"

"I didn't! I was just saying you thought I-"

"Oho! So I can think! You just proved my point- my brain's still here!"

"I never proved anything, you crazy old bat!"

"I AIN'T OLD!"

As those two bickered on and on without rest, Harry began wishing that he could do the opposite (and rest). But partly because he was growing amused at the conflict, and partly because Stan and Ernie were so absorbed and fired up that Harry had no chance to break them up, Harry forced himself to stay awake and listen.

At least- until Emily finally grew impatient. "Oh will you two SHUT the fuck UP?!?!?!" Emily roared, her voice so ferocious and strong it not only made Ernie and Stan clam up and join Harry in staring at her, but apparently woke some people sleeping in the upper levels (as evidenced by some yowls and grouchy mumbles and curses). "Thank God!" Emily breathed in relief. "Now- if you don't mind, I'm going to take a snooze. And it better be a long one, or else." With that, Emily flopped onto a nearby bed and shut her eyes.

Not knowing what else to say except "Yeah. I should probably do that too," Harry quickly hopped into the bed beside her before Stan and Ernie could say anything in response.

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Harry wasn't sure how long he and Emily had been napping. All he knew was that he had been sound asleep when he was rudely awakened by someone shaking him to extremes.

Harry sat up to see Stanley frantically hovering over him. "Harry- help me please! Something's wrong with Ernie!"

Harry followed Stanley's pointing to Ernie, who was croaking like a fish out of water and who was becoming more and more possessed by a series of fits. "How long has he been like this?" Harry asked in alarm.

"For like two minutes," Stan replied. "All I was doing was making my rounds and taking a head count, when I started hearing Ernie making those weird noises. I tried talking through to him but he won't listen. Harry, what should I do?"

Before Harry could make any response, however, he noticed Emily sit up beside him as well. "Hey- what's all the sniveling and whining about?" Emily growled. "If you've woken me up for any stupid reason-"

"Trust me, Emily," Harry interrupted. "Ernie needing medical attention for some sort of fit is worth getting up."

"What?!" Emily exclaimed, instantly put on alarm. With new vivacity she rushed to Ernie's side, Stan and Harry following on her heels. "Ernie? Ernie? Talk to me- what's wrong?" Emily demanded worriedly. "Wake up, Ernie! What's going on- what do you need?"

"There's nothing we can do, isn't there?" Stanley whined, his eyes starting to grow puffy from accumulating tears. "Ernie's as good as gone, isn't he?"

Emily suddenly gave a small gasp, and traded worry for determination. "No- there might be something," Emily said.

The way she spoke helped Harry catch her drift. "Stan- you said you could drive, right?" Harry asked earnestly.

Stan blinked in surpise. "Um, yes, but about that-"

Harry cut him off forcefully. "No time, Stanley. We need you to get us to St. Mungo's immediately," he ordered. Stan lost no time in obeying....actually, Emily helped him lose no time, for when Harry ordered his command Stan began to sputter some feeble mumblings (something about not driving well under pressure). Emily grew impatient again, and frogmarched Stan into the driver's seat, where (after Harry gently lifted Ernie out of it, of course) she threw him down enough to scare Stan into action. Stan then fired up the bus (for it had by this time slowed to a stop) and sped off.

They were perhaps two seconds into the journey when Stan's incompetence at driving was exposed. For example, he delayed almost a second too late each time he avoided a vehicle (or fire hydrant, or barn). Each stoplight was met almost face-to-face with the headlights before Stan snapped out of it and turned. Normally Ernie allowed the passengers to ride with relative ease, but as Stan turned and swerved Harry, Emily, and the other passengers were thrown around like baseballs in the World Series. Finally, after colliding with the wall a millionth time from another of Stan's antics, one could tell Emily had had enough. Looking like a ragged bat out of hell, she stormed up to the front and fumed "What- the fuck- in hell- did they teach you- when you tested- for your license?!"

Stan grew rather embarrassed at this comment, especially when several green-faced passengers above hear-heared with approval. "I told you- I don't do well under pressure!" he feebly explained. "Besides- I, erm, I never- passed- the driving test."

This last statement was a mistake to make. For when she heard this several veins snapped in Emily's temples, turning Emily's face a deep red as she grabbed Stan by the collar. "You WHAT?!" she roared, scaring Stan enough into a pitiful cowering state.

Before Emily's tongue could lash out at Stan again, however, Harry immediately began to take charge of the situation. He picked Stan right out of his chair and threw him aside, wasting no time in taking the wheel. "Emily, tell the passengers to strap themselves in, if they haven't already. Stan-" he directed the name specifically to stop its owner from sneaking away from the area, "-you're going to direct me to the hospital."

Stan became flustered. "Oh no- not me. You can't seriously want me to-"

Crackle. The sound of Emily's knuckles being prepped for a fight seemed to cause a conversion within Stanley, for he instantly changed his mind and humbly agreed to follow through with Harry's command. It was not to say that Harry was a better driver than Stan or Ernie, because truthfully he had never driven a car (or bus) before. But at least Harry kept his eyes and focus on the road, which in the end shaved precious minutes off the time needed to get to St. Mungo's. And at least Stan knew in what direction Harry needed to go (ironically turning out to be a much better guide than driver), which saved even more time, and at least Emily all throughout their journey had been continously reviving Ernie with "Ennervate," which (even though it didn't completely restore him) brought color back to Ernie's face and even restored feeling in Ernie's fingers. Thus, if it wasn't for Harry taking charge the bus wouldn't have gotten to St. Mungo's as quickly as it did.

Upon seeing the sign for the hospital at last, Harry and Emily weren't the only ones who were quick to unload. The bus had barely been parked when all the other passengers (about a dozen in number, and ranging from a dirty old man to a flustered mother with three kids) pushed and shoved their way out, desperate to escape before the bus took off again. After Harry's loud and desperate blasts on the horn brought out some of the staff (who after seeing Ernie's need for assistance immediately set off in a fast pace to get him inside) Harry and Emily said their goodbyes to Stan.

Or, tried to. No sooner did Harry and Emily pick up their things did Stan give out a large gasp. "Wait- you're leaving me?" he whined, his eyes growing large.

"Um, yeah," responded Harry tartly. "Ride's over. You can take it from here."

"But wait," said Stan almost frantically. "I hate hospitals! All the old Daily Prophets, all the needles, all the people in those lime green robes- everything!"

"Well then," replied Emily coolly as she was about to step out. "It's going to be tough going in to see Ernie, isn't it?"

She had barely finished saying this when she felt something clinging tight to her waist. She looked down to see Stanley sobbing in desperation. "Please- don't go!" he begged tearfully. "Stay with me please please please! Without Ernie here I have nobody!"

As Stanley clung surprisingly tight to Emily's body, she grew almost furious with disgust. "Let go of me! I'm not a rag doll! Besides, you're the one who has to stay on the bus, remember?" But her attempts to shake him off were in vain.

Now as this went on, Harry began feeling something unexplainable. Of course, Emily and he were only friends, but seeing Stanley cling that tightly (and to her waist, of all places) started to make Harry feel a bit more than just annoyed. He felt (to the best possible description he could give) like his rights were being violated, and so before he knew what was happening the little monster soon overwhelmed him. THWACK! Harry gave Stan a terrific blow to the jaw, sending Stan flying straight into the wall. "Put yourself together, man!" he roared. "Look at you- you're a nervous wreck! And over what- going to a hospital? Your friend's probably fighting just to stay alive, and he needs your support! And besides, look at me- I've been to the infirmary at least once every year since I came to Hogwarts, and I don't have any mental scars, do I? So come on- let's get inside before we have to put you on a stretcher!" With that, Harry frogmarched a pale-face Stanley into St. Mungo's, too wrapped up in that action to notice the look of admiration Emily was sending in his direction.

*End Chapter 4*