Marauders' First Book

Stuff in bold is the actual story.

A/N: A random message-the book the Marauders get is small, blue, and using the American language. That´s American, and not to be mistaken for English. And it´s American because I´m American.

Chapter One: Chapter One (Gee, How Original)

Sirius Black was bored, to say the least.

In fact, the same could be said of the other three Marauders. None of them were bored enough to be doing what Sirius was doing, however. Exactly what that was, you don´t want to know.

"I´m bored." Sirius stated for the millionth time that day as he sat heavily back onto James´ bed.

"Me too." Peter agreed despondently.

"Me three." James added, causing the only sensible member of the gang to groan at the horrible and overused pun.

"Isn´t there anything we can do?" Sirius concluded.

As if in answer to his question, a small, dark blue paperback book dropped from the ceiling, landing in a very annoying place.

So annoying of a place that it caused a glowering Sirius to frown, rub his head, and glare at his laughing companions. Grumbling, he picked up the book and read the title of it out loud.

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer´s Stone." He raised an eyebrow. "Relative, Prongs?" James shrugged. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Nice answer."

"I try." James grinned cheekily as Sirius contemplated the book.

"Let´s read it, shall we?" Not many people knew it, but Sirius was rather fond of Muggle fantasy books, though he didn´t read them often. The other Marauders nodded, curiosity awoken by the last name of Potter. Sirius cleared his throat overdramatically as he opened to the first page.

"Chapter One: The Boy Who Lived."

"And who is soon to be dead." Peter muttered. Remus smacked him.

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.

Remus- You´re welcome.

James- And thanks for the address. It´ll be much easier to stalk you now.

Sirius- Just ignore any midgets in glasses you meet. ::is smacked by James::

They were the last people you´d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn´t hold with that nonsense.

All- Muggles.

Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made

Sirius- Candy

James- Chew toys.

Remus- Hunting rifles. ::is smacked by James::

Peter- Drills.

Sirius/Remus/James- ::Stare at Peter, bewildered::

Peter- ::shrugs::

drills.

All: ::stare at Peter in shock::

He was a big, beefy

Sirius- Beef, it´s what´s for dinner.

James/Remus/Peter- ::snicker::

man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large moustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck,

James/Sirius- Mommy, look at the pretty giraffe!

Remus/Peter- ::stare at James/Sirius::

which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors. The Dursleys had s small son called Dudley

Peter- Dudley?

Remus- Dudley.

Sirius/James- Dinky Duddydums!

All- ::laugh::

and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.

Remus- If this is normal, I´d hate to see what Muggles consider weird.

Others- ::nod agreement::

The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters.

Peter- Neither could we.

Others- ::smack Peter::

Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish

Sirius- Is that even a word?

Remus- It wasn´t before, but it is now.

as it was possible to be. The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street.

Peter- Try: What are you doing in the middle of the street?

James- Or: Where the hell did you people come from?

Sirius- How about : Get out of the middle of the damn street before you get hit by a car! ... To which James replies- -

James- What´s a car?

Sirius- ::makes squealing and honking noises-ending with a loud crash::

James- ::acts out his melodramatic death::

Remus- ::groans::

The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son too, but they had never seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away - they didn't want Dudley mixing with a boy like that.

James- If this boy ends up being my son, and these people my in-laws, they´re going to have a lot of trouble!

Others- ::stare::

James- ::blushes::

When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside

Peter- (sarcastically) Really, I thought the sky was *inside*!

Sirius- (ignoring the sarcasm) If ever you are in need of brains, Wormtail, I´m here for you.

Remus- *You´re* there if he needs *brains*?

Sirius- ::smacks Remus::

to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country.

Remus- Whatever the strange and mysterious things are, I´ll bet they´re caused by James.

James- What makes you think I caused them? Why not Sirius?

Remus- Because they talk about the Potters as if they are important. Obviously, the Blacks aren´t.

Sirius: Hey!

Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his highchair.

James- These people have sirius problems.

Sirius- No, I don´t gossip.

None of them noticed a large tawny owl flutter past the window.

Sirius- Why should they, they´re Muggles.

At half-past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek and tried to kiss Dudley goodbye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls.

All- Spoiled brat.

"Little tyke," chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive.<

Sirius- After running over a cat, hitting his mailbox, and hitting a midget in glasses that´s stalking him.

James- ::smacks Sirius::

It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar-a cat reading a map.

Peter- Must be McGonagall.

Remus- How can it be McGonagall? She´s a real person and this book is fiction.

Peter- Well, it *could* be from the future, couldn´t it?

Sirius- Are you saying that James has a time hole in the middle of the air above my head?

Peter- No, but...

James- It´s a shame you weren´t, because I do.

Remus- Aren´t those illegal?

James- Yes.

Remus- Oh.

For a second, Mr. Dursley didn´t realize what he had seen-then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn´t a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back. As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in the mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive-no, *looking* at the sign; cats couldn´t read maps *or* signs.

Peter- Tell that to Professor McGonagall.

Sirius/James/Remus- Why?

Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day.

Sirius- This guy´s certainly got a one-track mind.

But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn´t help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks. Mr. Dursley couldn´t bear people who dressed in funny clothes-the getups you saw on young people!

Sirius/James- Hey! We resemble that!

Remus- I know.

Peter- ::snickers::

He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Durlsey was enraged to see that a couple of them weren´t young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him!

Sirius- (finishing Mr. Dursley´s thought) Out on the streets at that age!

Remus- ::sighs::

But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt-these people were obviously collecting for something...

Sirius- Ums... Ums for the poor.

James- Uh... Sirius, that´s alms for the poor.

Sirius- Not anymore, it isn´t

yes, that would be it. The traffic moved on a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drills.

Peter- I hope they´re not dentist´s drills

James/Sirius- Who´s drills?

Peter- ::sighs:: Never mind.

Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn´t, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning.

James- ::snorts:: Yeah, right.

*He* didn´t see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, thought people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead. Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime.

All- (exasperated) Muggles.

Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more.

Sirius- Is it just me, or does this guy *really* like shouting?

Others- It´s just you.

Sirius- Oh.

He was in a very good mood until lunchtime, when he

Remus- Ran out of people to shout at.

thought he´d stretch his legs and walk across the road to by himself a bun from the bakery.

He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy. This lot were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying.

"The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard-"

"-yes, their son, Harry -"

Sirius- Sounds like your son´s taking over your job, huh, Prongs?

Remus- At such a young age? Impossible.

James- Yeah, he´d only be driving me and my wife nuts, not the entire country.

Mr. Dursley stopped dead.

Sirius- Literally?

Remus- No, figuratively.

Sirius- Damn.

Fear flooded him.

James- I hope he can swim.

Sirius- Why? Fat floats.

James- How do you know that?

Sirius- Well, Peter did, didn´t he?

James- True....

Peter- Hey!

He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it.

He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone and had almost finished dialing his home phone number before he thought better of it.

Peter- A bit paranoid, isn´t he?

Others- ::nod::

He put the receiver back down and stroked his moustache, thinking...

All- ::gasp::

Remus- (singing) It´s the end of the world as we know it...

James/Sirius- ::weird looks::

Remus- Muggle thing.

Peter- I hate that song.

Remus- ::glares at Peter::

no, he was being stupid.

Sirius- Tell us something we don´t know.

Potter wasn't such an unusual name.

James- Yes it was. My father had five sisters and no brothers.

Remus- I feel bad for him.

Sirius- Yeah. Imagine having to live with all those girls and not be able to-

Remus- ::smacks Sirius:: That´s not what I meant!

He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew was called Harry. He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold.

Remus- Which, by the way, is shortened to Harry.

Sirius- It is?

There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley,

Sirius- He calls his wife Mrs. Dursley?

Remus- I sense some friction in this household.

she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her - if he'd had a sister like that...

Sirius- I totally sympathize with her.

but all the same, those people in cloaks...

He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone outside the door.

Sirius- So, he´s blind, too?

Remus- Maybe we should give him James´ glasses.

James- But, then, I wouldn´t be able to see!

Peter- That´s the whole point.

James- ::sticks his tongue out::

"Sorry," he grunted as the tiny old man

Sirius- Why does Flitwick come to mind?

Remus- I don´t know; he´s not that old.

stumbled and almost fell. It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak.

Peter- He´s awfully slow, isn´t he?

Sirius- I like the color violet.

Remus- Huh?

James- Just the lack of Sirius sanity, ignore it.

He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground.

Peter- Odd.

On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passers-by stare, "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!"

James- So, Voldemort´s dead?

Peter- ::flinches::

Remus/Sirius- Apparently.

And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley round the middle and walked off.

Mr Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was.

Sirius- Why doesn´t the Muggle know what a Muggle is?

Remus- Because he´s a *Muggle*.

Sirius- ::pauses:: Oh. Yeah.

Remus/James/Peter- ::sigh::

He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination.

James- Neither does my father.

Sirius- Hasn´t stopped you yet, has it?

Remus- And it never will, either, if he´s got something to say about it.

As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw - and it didn't improve his mood

Sirius- Was a mob of those weirdos demanding entrance.

-was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings round its eyes.

Sirius- Hey, maybe it *is* McGonagall.

"Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly.

Peter- Oh, yeah, like that´s going to help any.

Was this normal cat behavior, Mr. Dursley wondered.

Remus- No, but it is normal Animagus McGonagall behavior

Trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife.

Sirius- That´ll change soon.

Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner about Mrs. Next Door´s problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word ("Won't!").

James- Spoiled brat.

Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news:

"And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in all directions since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern." The newscaster allowed himself a grin. "Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?"

"Well, Ted," said the weatherman, "I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars!

Sirius- We should try that some day, Prongs.

James- Most definitely.

Remus- (to the book) Oh, thanks a lot.

Sirius/James- ::snicker::

Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early-it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight."

Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair.

James- Quick, someone thaw him out!

Remus- Why?

James- Because.

Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters...

James- I´m in big trouble now, aren´t I?

Remus- No, they were talking about your son, remember?

James- Yeah, but he´s a baby. I´d be held responsible for whatever he did.

Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously. "Er - Petunia, dear - you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?"

As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister.

Sirius- I should try that some day.

James- I should suggest that to my father one day.

"No," she said sharply. "Why?"

"Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls...shooting stars...and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today..."

"So?" snapped Mrs. Dursley.

"Well, I just thought ... maybe ... it was something to do with ... you know... *her* crowd."

Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips.

Sirius- Impossible.

Remus- You mean to say you´ve tried it before?

Sirius- ...No comment.

Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter". He decided he didn't dare.

Remus- Definite friction.

Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son - he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?"

"I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.

"What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?"

"Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."

"Oh yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree."

He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it was waiting for something.

Peter- Hi, Professor McGonagall! ::waves::

Remus- Uh... Wormtail, I don´t think she can hear you.

Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? If it did...if it got out that they were related to a pair of - well, he didn't think he could bear it.

The Dursleys got into bed. Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr. Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last, comforting thought was that even if the Potters *were* involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley. The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind ... He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on-he yawned and turned over - it couldn't affect them...

Sirius- How very wrong he was.

How very wrong he was.

Others- Woah. Freaky.

Mr. Dursley might have been drifting off into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no signs of sleepiness. It was sitting still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed in the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all.

A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground. The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed.

Peter- ::lifts hand to wave::

Remus- She can´t see you, either, Wormtail.

Peter- ::pouts::

Nothing like this man had ever been seen in Privet Drive. He was tall, thin and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak which swept the ground and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice.

Sirius- What say it´s Dumbledore?

Peter- Ten galleons.

Sirius- Deal.

This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.

Sirius- Pay up, Pete.

Peter- ::gives Sirius money::

James/Remus- ::surprised silence::

Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived on a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known."

Sirius- McGonagall?

Others- McGonagall.

He had found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter. He flicked it open, held it up in the air and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little

Peter- Snap.

Remus- Crackle.

pop.

Remus/Peter- ::laugh hysterically::

James/Sirius- Huh?

Remus- Muggle thing.

James/Sirius- Oh. OK. ::inch away from Peter/Remus::

He clicked it again - the next lamp flickered into darkness. Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer,

Sirius- I´ve got one of them.

James- Me too.

Remus- Why?

Sirius/James- ::look at each other:: ...We don´t know.

Peter- You two are really freaky, you know that?

Sirius/James- What´s so freaky about us?

Peter- That.

Sirius/James- ::look at each other and shrug::

until the only lights left in the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement. Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off sown the street towards number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it.

"Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall."

He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather sever-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one.

James- Emerald?

Sirius- Why emerald?

Remus- She´s a Slytherin supporter. Duh.

James/Sirius- I knew it! I knew it!

Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled.

Sirius- Ruffles. What a nice name for a dog.

Peter- ::thinks:: Uh-uh.

Sirius- Snuffles?

Peter- Uh-uh.

James/Remus- Why not? I kind of like it. ::look at each other::

Remus- Ack! It´s contagious! ::inches away from James/Sirius::

"My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly."

"You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall.

"All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here."

All- Weren´t we invited?

Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.

"Oh yes, everyone´s celebrating, all right," she said impatiently. "You´d think they´d be a bit more careful, but no-even the Muggles have noticed something´s going on. It was on their news." She jerked her head back at the Dursley´s dark living room window. "I heard it. Flocks of owls...shooting stars...Well, they´re not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent-I´ll be that was Dedalus Diggle.

Peter- Who´s Dedalus Diggle?

Remus- He´s a Hufflepuff. Year under us.

James/Sirius- (whining) When do we show up?

Remus- Would you like some cheese with that whine?

Sirius/James- Yes, please.

He never had much sense."

"You can´t blame them," said Dumbledore gently. We´ve had precious little to celebrate for eleven years."

Peter- So, You-Know-Who´s been around for eleven years? I thought it had only been...

Remus- This book is from the future, Pete.

Peter- Oh.

"I know that, " said Professor McGonagall irritably. "But that´s no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumors."

Remus- Even Sirius isn´t that stupid.

James- How much you want to bet?

Sirius- Hey!

She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on. "A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about as all. I suppose he really *has* gone, Dumbledore?"

"It certainly seems so," said Dumbledore. "We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?"

James/Sirius- A what?

"A what?"

Remus/Peter- A lemon drop.

"A lemon drop.

All- Now, *that* was really freaky.

They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of."

"No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon drops. "As I say, even if You-Know-Who has gone-"

"My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All this "You-Know-Who" nonsense - for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: *Voldemort*."

Peter- ::flinches::

Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemons drops, seemed not to notice. "It all gets so confusing if we keep saying "You-Know-Who".

Sirius- Yeah, some people don´t know who.

James- Like Sirius.

Sirius- Exac- Hey!

I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name."

"I know you haven't," said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring. "But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right, Voldemort, was frightened of."

"You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly. "Voldemort had powers I will never have."

James- He´s too noble to use them.

"Only because you´re too-well-*noble* to use them."

James- See?

"It´s lucky it´s dark. I haven´t blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs."

Remus/Peter- TMI.

Sirius/James- Huh?

Peter- Too Much Information.

Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said, "The owls are nothing to the rumors that are flying around. You know what everyone's saying? About why he's disappeared? About what finally stopped him?"

Sirius- No, we don´t know.

James- So, why don´t you tell us already?

James/Sirius- We can´t stand the suspense!

Peter- Would you guys stop doing that?

James/Sirius- Doing what?

It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she had now. It was plain that whatever "everyone" was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true. Dumbledore, however, was choosing another lemon drop and did not answer.

"What they're saying," she pressed on, is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow.

James- Hey, that´s where I live.

Remus- We know, Prongs, we´re there.

Sirius- We are?

He went to find the Potters.

Sirius- Harry must´ve gotten hold of James´ wand and killed the Dark Lord.

Remus- Yeah, since we all know he´s too weak to do it himself.

James- ::smacks Sirius/Remus::

The rumor is that Lily and James Potter are-are-that they're-dead."

Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped.

All- ::shocked silence::

James- I´m... dead? I don´t even get to see Voldemort be defeated?

Peter- ::flinches::

Sirius- ::flings himself at James, sobbing loudly:: I don´t want you to die! You can´t die! ::sobs:: I´m going to kill the Death Eaters that did this to you.

James- ::absentmindedly pats Sirius on the back::

Remus- Maybe... maybe it´s not really going to happen. It´s fiction....

Peter- ::looks guilty, but no one notices::

All- ::tense silence::

Sirius- ::sobbing on James´ shoulder::

James- Do you think Lily is Lily Evans?

Peter- ::snickers:: You can´t possibly be that lucky, Prongs. The girl hates you.

James- ::blushes:: She does not. She helped me with Charms.

Sirius- ::moves off of James and clears his face:: Let´s finish the book now.

Peter- Are you sure you want to do that, Padfoot?

Sirius- Yes. Maybe we´ll find out who kills them. We´ve got an entire series to read.

Remus- How do you know?

Sirius- There was a list of three other books. They probably go through James´ son´s seven years at Hogwarts.

Peter- But, how did he live through it?

Remus- If we keep reading, we might find out.

"Lily and James...I can't believe it...I didn't want to believe it...Oh, Albus..."

Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I know...I know..." he said heavily.

Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on. "That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potters' son, Harry. But-he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke-and that's why he's gone."

Dumbledore nodded glumly.

"It's-it's true?" faltered Professor McGonagall. "After all he's done...all the people he's killed...he couldn't kill a little boy? It's just astounding...of all the things to stop him...but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?"

"We can only guess," said Dumbledore. "We may never know."

Sirius- (bitterly) Of course not. But we´d better find out.

Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles. Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge.

Sirius/James/Peter- Huh?

Remus- It´s a lunar watch. Nothing odd about it.

Others- Oh.

It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?"

Remus- No, God did.

Sirius/James- You called?

"Yes," said Professor McGonagall. "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you're here, of all places?"

"I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now."

James- They´re giving my son to them?

Remus- Poor kid.

Sirius- You´d think Dumbledore could at least get it right.

James- Sirius, promise me one thing?

Sirius- What?

James- After I have a child, if I ever die, promise me you´ll take care of him?

Sirius- I promise. As soon as I take care of the Death Eaters that killed you.

Peter- ::winces, but nobody notices::

"You don't mean - you can't mean the people who live here?"

James- I totally agree with her.

cried Professor McGonagall, jumping

Sirius- Off a cliff.

Remus- Sirius!

Sirius- What?

to her feet and pointing at number four. "Dumbledore - you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son - I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets.

Sirius- Spoiled brat.

Harry Potter come and live here!"

"It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly.

Remus- I somehow doubt that.

"His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter."

"A letter?" repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall. "Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter?

Remus- Dumbledore can do anything.

Sirius- Yeah, cus he´s...

James- Dumbledore.

Sirius- Yeah!

These people will never understand him!

James- Good.

He'll be famous - a legend - I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future - there will be books written about Harry

Remus- Like this one, for instance?

Sirius- Probably.

- every child in our world will know his name!"

"Exactly," said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half- moon glasses. "It would be enough to turn any boy's head.

Sirius/James- ::turn their heads to the left::

Peter- Would you two stop that?

Sirius/James- Stop what?

Remus- ::snickers::

Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can't you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?"

Sirius- No, not really.

Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind,

James- But McGonagall never-

Sirius- Changes her mind!

Remus- (singing again) It´s the end of the world as we know it...

Peter- Shut up, Moony!

Remus/James/Sirius- ::smack Peter::

swallowed and then said, "Yes - yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.

James- Whatever happened to Hagrid?

"Hagrid's bringing him."

James- ::winces:: Is he sure about that?

"You think it - wise - to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?"

"I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.

"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to - what was that?"

Peter- Dumbledore´s stomach. Lemon drops aren´t very filling.

Remus- ::nods agreement::

James/Sirius- ::shrug::

A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky - and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.

Sirius- Cool, a flying motorcycle. I want one!

Remus- Dear God, if you´re there, please say it isn´t his!

If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so wild

Remus- (yet again, singing) Wild thing! You make my heart sing!

Others- ::groan::

-long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of dustbin lids and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.

James- A bundle of blankets? What about my son!

Remus- James, I think he´s in the blankets.

"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"

"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it me.

Sirius- YEEEESSSSS!

Remus- NOOOOOOOOOO!

I've got him, sir."

"No problems, were there?"

Sirius- No sir, I just had to kill twenty Death Eaters with my pink umbrella, here, and they nearly killed us, but I got away fine.

"No, sir - house was almost destroyed but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' round. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol." Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was

Sirius- Another bundle of blankets. `Gee, maybe I was wrong.´

James- ::smacks Sirius::

a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.

Remus- Sounds painful.

James/Sirius- I´m going to kill those Death Eaters that killed us/them!

Peter- ::winces, no one notices::

"Is that where -? " whispered Professor McGonagall.

"Yes", said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever."

"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"

"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in useful. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.

All- Ugh... TMI...

Well - give him here, Hagrid - we'd better get this over with."

Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned towards the Dursleys' house.

"Could I - could I say goodbye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss.

Remus- Aw! It´s a Kodak moment!

Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.

Remus/Sirius- ::howl::

James- Quiet, you´ll wake all the Muggles!

Peter- It´s the middle of the afternoon.

James- Well, you´ll terrify them!

"Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "you'll wake the Muggles!"

"S-s- sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it - Lily an' James dead - an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles -"

James- ::eye twitches::

Others- ::back away from James nervously::

"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found,"

James- (sarcastically) Well, gee, thanks for caring, Professor.

Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door.

James/Sirius- Haven´t you ever heard of a garden gate?

Remus/Peter- No, what´s that?

He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets and then came back to the other two. For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously and the twinkling light that usually shone in Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.

James- Why were they standing there staring at my son?

Sirius- Yeah, why don´t they stare at James and his dead wife instead. And, where´s my motorcycle, Hagrid? I want it back!

Remus- Padfoot, this is supposed to be an emotional moment!

"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations."

"Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I'll be takin' Sirius his bike back.

Sirius- Damn straight, you will.

Remus- (mimicking McGonagall) BLACK! Watch your language! Five points from Gryffindor!

James- Knew she was a Slytherin supporter....

G'night, Professor McGonagall - Professor Dumbledore, sir."

Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorbike and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night.

"I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall,"

James- Why? Is it the start of term already?

Sirius- No, it´s Halloween.

said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.

Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.

James- Just a bundle of blankets? Where´s my son?

A breeze ruffled the hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets

Sirius- and fell out of them, breaking every bone in his body. James and Lily´s ghosts came back to haunt Dumbledore forever after. The end.

James- ::smacks Sirius::

without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream

Sirius- My, what a wonderful wake-up call!

James- These Dursleys are so dead. When I meet Lily´s sister, I´m going to kick her in the arse in advance!

Peter/Remus/Sirius- ::snicker::

as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley... he couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter - the boy who lived!"

Sirius- And, that is the end of chapter one.

Peter- Cool. I´m hungry.

Remus- ::sniffs the air:: Your mother just finished cooking lunch, Prongs.

James- Alright, Marauders, let´s go eat! We can get to chapter two afterwards!

With that said, the four Marauders left the room, leaving the poor book heartlessly discarded in the middle of James´ bed, innocent-looking, but holding secrets of the future that no person has a right to know.