Goodbyes

A clock tower bell chimes somewhere in the distance. A flock of ravens fly overhead. A wintry frost is spreading over the ground, covering it like spider webs.

But I do not notice any of them.

I walk into the deserted cemetery ever so slowly, closing the gate respectfully behind me. There are thousands of graves here. Thousands of rows of white, shining marble graves - all victims at the hands of Voldemort. All deaths you were sent to prevent. All deaths that you could do nothing about because you were trapped at school.

I walk directly to the grave and kneel in front of the headstone. One by one, I place each of the flowers from my bunch into the holder. I wipe the headstone with my sleeve, trying to clean an imaginary stain. I sit back on my heels and sigh. One single, solitary tear runs down my cheek.

It's not a headstone really. Or a grave. There was no body to bury. There were only memories, so a memorial was very appropriate.

I hate you.

I hate you so much for leaving that day. For flying off into open sky without even a look back. Leaving me crying my heart - no, my soul - out to Ron because he was the only one who could keep me still. I lashed out at him; I hit him so hard that the bruising didn't even begin to fade for a week. But he still kept by me and when I calmed down a bit more he took me to the stairs of the dormitory and Lavender dragged me up the stairs to my dormitory bed, where I lay all night, crying silently. I didn't sleep that night.

I've hardly slept any night since you left me.

The wind whips around my body, tendrils of my hair are floating on the wind but I don't notice. I don't notice when someone else walks into the graveyard. I barely hear anything at all except the familiar sound of my sobs.

It all becomes too much. I stand up at begin to run. Almost at the gate, I crash into someone.

"Sorry," I mutter, barely coherent.

"Hermione?" Harry gasps.

Harry gasps.

HARRY gasps.

"Harry?" I whisper. You smile. I push you hard and start to run again. You run after me and I hear you shouting. I hate you for smiling. I hate you for coming back and being alive. I hate you for leaving me for no reason. But I still love you because I can never stop.

"How dare you!" I scream, turning around to face you at last. "How dare you walk back into my life and SMILE?" The loudness of my shouts scares even me. I can see the fear on your face as you take hold of my upper arms and try to talk some sense into me.

But I am hysterical.

"Hermione, listen to me. Listen to me! I didn't want to leave you - why do you think I came back - "
"WHY DID YOU GO!"
"You know perfectly-"
"NO I DON'T! YOU NEVER EXPLAINED!"

"Then let me! Stop screaming blue murder and let me!" I stop screaming and glare at you. You take me to a bench and sit me down.

"I want you to listen Hermione. I want you to sit here and listen to everything I have to say." I sit obediently. "I left because it was the only way for me to fulfil the prophecy. And now I have Almost."
"Prophecy?"
"The one we found in fifth year. The one I told you about."

"I know which prophecy-"
"I had to fulfil it-"
"-I could've helped you!"

"No, Hermione, it had to be done by me and me alone. I still haven't done it." I become completely confused.

"Then why are you back?"
"Because I wanted to say goodbye. I doubt I'll survive this. One of us has to die. In case it's me I don't want to leave you with a lasting memory of me flying away into open sky. I want you to remember me always as your best friend and -"
"You're going again?"
"Yes." You hang your head, almost as if it were shameful.

"Then I want to come with you. I'm of age. I can join the order. Imagine it Harry, we could face him down together. We could win!"

"No! I will not let you get hurt!"

"I'm not stupid Harry!" I gasp, my eyes stinging with tears. I just want to be in your arms. I collapse against you and you wrap your arms around me. You hold me tight and we don't move for the longest time. I cry all over your robes but you don't care. You murmur comforting words to me and I begin to feel safe - something I haven't done in a long time.

Eventually, you lower your mouth to mine and kiss me gently. I'm so tired but my senses are wide-awake the moment our lips brush. I've been waiting for this for so long.

You pull your lips away from mine and whisper softly in my ear.

"I love you."

I sigh and my head falls onto your shoulder. I feel so warm...

I woke up two hours later.

Alone.