My True Love

Ever since I was a little girl I've always believed in love. Even as a small little five-year-old waving goodbye to my mum and stepping in to a classroom, watching over my shoulder as tears fell from most parents I could see. But true love? Most people I know would laugh at the thought but ...

The idea of me, boring, bookish and plain Hermione Granger having someone out there that truly loves me for me stayed with me all through primary school. Even when I was being bullied I believed in you. Only, I didn't know who you were.

When I got my Hogwarts letter, everything changed. I knew that Hogwarts was exactly where I wanted to go. A boarding school, far away from all my troubles and a place where I could learn a talent that I thought only existed in fairy tales.

Getting on that train, looking out of the window of the compartment I was in and seeing more tears of happiness or pride or whatever the first-years parents were feeling as they shed their tears reinforced how I felt. I sat there for roughly an hour on my own thinking. Reading was too hard, I was far too excited. I whipped out my wand and started practising one of the spells I could remember. But that didn't take my mind off my nerves. I sat and twiddled my thumbs until Neville walked in. "Is there anyone sitting there?" he asked me nervously.

"Oh, no, feel free to sit there." I motioned him to the other seat, which he took.

"Could I ask you something?" he inquired.

"What?" I replied.

"Haven't seen a toad have you? Only I've lost mine."

"Erm...no. Sorry. Shall I help you look for it?"

"Please."

We split up and took half of the train each. After a while we'd both found no trace of Trevor, so I went with him and we did one last search.

When we got to your compartment, I thought you were the great Harry Potter but I wasn't sure, I couldn't see your scar from where I was.

"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one."

"We've already told him we haven't seen it."

"Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see it then."

"Er - all right."

"Sunshine, daises, butter mellow,

Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow."

"Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good is it?"

I wasn't even aware of what I was saying after that. I just babbled on and on and on - until I realised who you where. The Famous One. I immediately wanted to get to know and Ron better. But it seemed that you didn't want to know me, either of you. The only friends I sort of made were Parvati and Lavender. But we weren't ever close. Just friends.

I think I was wrong about you not wanting me though. You and Ron saved me from that troll, and to my delight it made us friends.

In our second year I got Petrified and I don't know exactly what you and Ron managed to do but, you had defeated Slytherin's monster and you were both alive. I don't think I even realised then. It was in our third year, my most chaotic.

That year changed a lot of the feelings I had for you. Especially as you fought not only for you, Ron, and me but for your parents-despite the fact you never knew them you wanted to avenge their death. Or maybe it was for that reason. All I knew was you had your heart set on it. I could see it in your emerald-coloured eyes that were glittering in the moonlight as you told me whom you thought saved all of our lives. Ok, so I doubted your sanity at the time, but I could see how much you wanted to get your freedom. So I decided to let you go out and keep watch. You showed me the extent of your powers that night. And when we were flying Buckbeak you let me hold your waist, and you put up with me squeezing your arms all the night. But I shrugged it all off as just thankfulness that we were all alive.

Last year however, was the one that made me realise. I stuck by you, were as Ron walked off. I helped you all I could. I could have just as easily gone off with Ron and turned my back on you but I didn't. I could see that you needed me more than Ron ever could have. He had brothers and a sister to stick by him. You were alone.

When you and Cedric disappeared, there was uproar. Everyone was stunned, petrified, afraid, fainting; it was bedlam. When you two finally got back the state you were in made me too shocked for tears. I just gazed open-mouthed, as did Ron, like a fish gasping for air. I saw, through all the people, that Moody was dragging you away. Then Bill, Mrs. Weasley, Ron and me all interrogated poor Madam Pompfrey. She could say she didn't know till she was blue in the face but we weren't having any of that!

When you entered the Hospital Wing you were giving Sleeping Potion and you fell asleep. You looked troubled but like you had lifted part of a great weight off your chest. In the absurdity of it all I, for some strange reason, worked out Rita's secret. Don't ask me how. So I ran off to the library. When I got back Mrs Weasley was hugging you. I wanted to as well but, you had taken the rest of your potion. I sat with you though, for as long as I could. Mrs Weasley sent me to bed though. I wasn't there when you woke up, and I felt ever so guilty. And when I did appear, Mrs Weasley was hugging you. I wanted to be in her shoes so much at that point; and yet I was scared of you. I was scared of what you could do. I was scared of you, and yet I was scared for you.

I still am. I suppose I always will be - but there's nothing I can do about it. I hate the danger you have to face. The dangers yet to come. I'm scared one day it'll all be too much for you and you'll do something stupid. I'm scared you get hurt, or worse, killed. I'm just so happy I told you how I feel. I'm so glad that I have the privilege of lying next to you, watching you sleep. Your breathing is steady and quiet. I never want it to stop; I don't want you to be the first to go between us. You look so peaceful; I'm trying not to wake you from your sleep, because for once it's peaceful. You've had such a rotten life, and yet you survive it.

Everyone has a true love. I've always believed that. Even now I still believe we are right for each other, and I just hope every second of every day you feel the same.

I love you so much. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I love you with all my heart, all my being. You are my true love; I believed a child hood fantasy in you. I lived a child hood fantasy through you. You are all I'll ever need. You are my sugar; you are my spice. You are my friend; you are my enemy. You are my light; you are my darkness. You are my everything.