If I Had Never Let You Go

Hermione stood by the lake, tears streaming down her face. Why? Why had this happened to her? Blinking furiously she brushed bits of her fringe out of her face. The lake, how many times had she stood here with him before? She'd lost count. She missed him so much. If only she hadn't had that stupid, stupid argument with him! He could be standing here with her. They would've still been making wedding plans. Hermione twisted the ring on her finger, her fingers rubbing the diamond surrounded by tiny sapphires and emeralds. ::FLASHBACK::

Hermione sat smouldering at the kitchen table. I could kill him, she thought. Stupid stupid stupid stupid man. Looking up as Hedwig soared in towards her. And here comes the apology, she thought, untying the letter.

Dear Miss Granger,

This is urgent DO NOT IGNORE. Please use this letter as a Portkey, which will activate when you read my signature out loud. You must come immediately.

Yours,

Albus Dumbledore

"A-Albus Dumbledore," Hermione whispered softly. The Portkey whisked her away to a graveyard that fitted Harry's description of the one of Voldemort's rebirth. This time however, the scent of magic was thick in the air. A kind of mist hovered around the place, dark shapes where everywhere - it looked like the remains of a violent battle. And lying on the floor, unmoving was...

"HARRY!" Hermione screamed in panic, running over to him. She knelt down and put his head in her lap. She felt someone behind her, it was Dumbledore looking unusually grave. Tears flowed freely down Hermione's cheeks.

"H-h-he's not..." She looked over her shoulder at Dumbledore who nodded.

"He's dead. He got his life long wish though - he killed Voldemort moments before he died. The effort did what it hadn't managed to before. It killed him."

"He can't be... he can't be!" Hermione whispered, afraid to associate the words "dead" and "Harry". But she could feel how cold he was. He looked so peaceful. She stroked his hair, ran her finger down his scar. It was burning red. She lowered her head and kissed him hard on the lips.

"Are you sure he's..." Dumbledore nodded.

"I've alerted the ministry. They'll be here soon...."

::END OF FLASHBACK::

What had happened next was all a blur. She knew Ministry officials had prised him off her and taken him away, and Ron had come and hugged her so hard she thought he'd never let go. But not how anyone else had reacted, what had been said, she was over come with grief then. "I love you Harry." Hermione whispered into the wind.

Here I stand alone

With this weight upon my heart

And it will not go away

In my head I keep on looking back

Right back to the start

Wonderin' what it was that made you change.

The giant squid surfaced and Hermione smiled. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the Time Turner that Dumbledore had given her earlier that day. She had the chance to go back and change history. She could stop the death of Harry with the little golden hourglass. But what if she got there too late?

Well I tried but I had to draw the line

And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go?

Would you be the man I used to know?

If I'd stayed, if you'd tried

If we could only turn back time

But I guess we'll never know

Very carefully, Hermione considered what to do. If she managed to save Harry then ... wow... her life would be transformed. But there was always the chance that it wouldn't work, and she would fail to save Harry. Could she re-live the pain of the past few days again?

Many roads to take

Some to joy, some to heartache

Anyone can lose their way

And if I said that we could turn it back

Would you take the chance and make the change?

Well I tried but I had to draw the line

And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

He'd changed. Harry had been changing over the past few months. Not into someone else, but he was growing up, looking at the consequences of things, trying to understand what he could do with all his powers...and becoming so distant. But she had stuck by him, held him when he cried and when it all became to much she had given him the potion for dreamless sleep. She knew that some day he'd have to fight Voldemort, knew that he could die doing it but never would she cry in front of him. He needed her to be strong, but she'd cracked with the strain and they had that stupid, stupid argument. She never got the chance to tell him she loved him before he died. When Ron found Hermione lying over the spot Harry had been in as they took the body away, he hugged her so tightly, and cried with her. She's looked up into his eyes and told him how scared she was that Harry had died thinking she hated him, and that he'd died hating her. Ron told her that was stupid, and she'd remember the words forever, "Harry loved you, and he still does. He'll always watch over you Hermione, he's not you lover now - he's your guardian angel. His spirit will live on I promise you."

What if I had never let you go?

Would you be the man I used to know?

If I'd stayed, if you'd tried

If we could only turn back time.

But I guess we'll never know.

Again Hermione opened her hand to look at the Time Turner. She had the chance to change it. But did she have the guts?

If only we could turn the hands of time

If I could take it back would you still be mine?

Do you think how it would've been sometimes?

Do you pray that I'd never left your side?

Turning the small hourglass over in her hand she wondered how such a small, seemingly insignificant object could change so much of history. It was thanks to a similar Time Turner that Sirius was alive. And it could save her Harry. It could stop what had happened.

What if I had never let you go?

Would you be the man I used to know?

Slowly Hermione wrapped the golden chain around her finger.

If I'd stayed, If you'd tried

If we could only turn back time

Hermione knew what she had to do. It broke her heart but it had to be done.

But I guess we'll never know.

Raising the hand clutching the Time Turner she felt the wind blow her hair out of her face and ripple through her cloak.

We'll never know...

She threw the Time Turner into the lake with all her strength. What she had done sunk in and she collapsed on the floor, crying for her Harry back. She wanted him so badly back in her arms, but it couldn't be that way.