That Girl...

Through early morning fog I see

visions of the things to be

the pains that are withheld for me

I realize and I can see...

          Draco looked out his window through the mist and thought about how horrible his life was.  He’d never thought this before, until he realized who the love of his life was, and that he’d treated her like dirt.  Worse than dirt.  He’d not even noticed her until second year, and that was only to watch his father beat up her’s.

          She was gorgeous.  Big, chocolate brown eyes.  Bright red hair, forming a delicate halo around her face.  A smile as bright as the sun.  And a voice so smooth and sweet it could’ve been mistaken by honey bees to be something they’d made themselves.

          But he knew in his heart he couldn’t have her.  He’d treated her family, her, as if they were almost as bad as…he shuddered to think…Mudbloods.  But now he knew…he knew that she was the one.  And now, he was seriously considering suicide.

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

          Suicide.  He’d never considered it an option before.  In fact, he’d never needed an option.  He’d thought his life was perfect.  He had thought that he had everything.  Then he realized he could never have the love of his life.  The girl with the strawberry hair, that smelled so good that the scent wafted around the halls as she walked by him.  Just a sight of her made him feel intoxicated.

I try to find a way to make

all our little joys relate

without that ever-present hate

but now I know that it's too late, and...

          He knew it was too late.  Too late to take back all the things he’d said to her family, the things he’d said and done to her.  It was also too late.  Too late to change who he was, to win her love.  Far too late…

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

          But suicide?  How would he do it?  Poison?  A knife to the wrists?  Would he even be able to do it?  Or would he have to live in suffering, watching the love of his life, go on, to meet people, to fall in love.  To get married.  To never even know that he cared for her so deeply?

The game of life is hard to play

I'm gonna lose it anyway

The losing card I'll someday lay

so this is all I have to say.

God, what wouldn’t do at all.  He had to tell her.  But, he knew in his heart, he couldn’t he just…couldn’t.  It wouldn’t work between them anyway.  No.  Suicide was only way to win.

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

       

          That’s rather interesting, Draco sneered to himself, trying to block out the picture of the beautiful face.  The only way to win…is to cheat.

The only way to win is cheat

And lay it down before I'm beat

and to another give my seat

for that's the only painless feat.

          But if he left, committed suicide, then her face would torment him for all of eternity!  Smiling, laughing, blushing, talking.  And somebody else would be with her.  He couldn’t face that. 

          Besides, who could take his place?  Torturing Mudbloods, making fun of Weasleys (that’s part of what got me in this mess…), winning Quidditch matches.  That was him.  The sneering, swaggering, son-of-a, you know, that he is.  If he would gone, nobody could fill his shoes.  Not that Draco Malfoy had big feet or anything…

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

          Now that wouldn’t do.  But it was already fifth year.  If he could find a very slow-acting poison, he could finish his days at Hogwarts, admiring his beloved from afar, then die, so he wouldn’t have to keep thinking about her.  Why did he have to be so bloody mean?

The sword of time will pierce our skins

It doesn't hurt when it begins

But as it works its way on in

The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...

          Yes, perhaps he could find a poison.  It would be very hard to do.  With the exact qualities he wanted…

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please. 

          But he’d need help, that was for sure.  He got an idea.  But it was extremely risky.  But it was the only way.  He had to.  He didn’t like the girl.  As a matter of fact, he absolutely loathed her.  But he needed Granger, and so a letter would have to suffice.  He hoped she’d help him.  At least she’d know it’d get rid of him.  So he sent the letter with his black eagle-owl, and sat down to think about the reaction she must be having.

A brave man once requested me

to answer questions that are key

'is it to be or not to be'

and I replied 'oh why ask me?'

“Oh my God,” Hermione murmured to herself.  Running for the telephone, she rapidly dialed the Dursleys’ number, not being able to think of anything else to do.

“Hello?” a voice answered on the other end of the line.  It was Vernon Dursley.  Hermione had to think fast.

“Hello, sir.  This is Miss Granger, from the library downtown.”  She heard a grunt of acknowledgment from Vernon.  “May I please speak to a,” she paused pretending she was looking at a computer readout, “Mr. Harry Potter?”

“What’d the boy do?” Vernon asked fiercely.

“Oh, he’d done nothing wrong, sir.  We just are registering all of the young gentlemen and ladies in your district, and we need to ask him a few quick questions.”  She wasn’t sure if he’d buy it, but she had to do something.

Hermione heard a grunt from Vernon, then footsteps, and Harry answered the phone.

“Hello?  I didn’t apply for a library card.”

“Harry,” Hermione said, “it’s me!  But call me ‘Miss Granger’, I told your uncle I’m from the library.”

“Yes, of course, Miss Granger.  I’d be happy to answer some questions.  Okay, ‘Mione, Uncle just left.  What’s up?”  He sounded concerned.  So concerned he’d hurried fast enough to call her ‘Mione.  Not that she didn’t like it though…

“Guess who just owled me?”

“I dunno, Ron?”

“No.  Draco Malfoy.”

“WHAT?!?!?” he cried, then stifled himself.  “What’d that creep want?”

“He wants me to help him commit suicide, Harry,” she sounded truly concerned.  No matter how badly he’d treated her.  There was obviously something very wrong.

“Oh, ‘Mione, stop fibbing and tell me why you really called.”

“Harry, I’m serious.  He wants me to help him find a poison that’s slow enough acting it won’t kill him for about three years.  Exactly after we graduate.  And you’ll never guess why.”

“This is so weird.  Why?”

“He is in love with someone.  But he—apparently—has been terrible to her, or rather her family in the past.  He says he could never possibly have her, and doesn’t want to have to live with the fact.  Now can you guess who it is?”

“No,” he said, thinking he knew who it was, but not wanting to believe it.

“You do too, Harry Potter.  I can hear it in your voice.  Now, who do you think it is?”

“Virginia Weasley,” he whispered, shaking his head.

“Yes.  Harry, what should I do?  Should I help him?  Should I recommend a good psychiatrist?  Or,” she paused, wondering if she should even utter her next suggestion.

“Or, what?”

“Or,” she said clearing her throat, “tell her.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Are you nuts?  She’d probably throw up!  That or she’d be interesting, and feel sorry for poor old Draco,” he said sarcastically.

“This is serious, Harry.”

“I’m sorry.  I’m probably going to regret this, but there only seems to be one good option.  We’ve gotta tell ‘er.”

“You’re right.  I’ll owl Draco.  I’ll say I’m getting started on his problem, which won’t really be a lie.  We have to get to the Weasley’s.  Somehow.”

“You’re right,” Harry replied.  “Okay, I’ll figure out a way to get there, you go owl Draco.”

“Already starting the letter.”

'Cause suicide is painless

it brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

...and you can do the same thing if you choose.

          Draco couldn’t believe it.  She was already getting started on it.  But he wondered what it would be like to…he fell asleep.

          He fell asleep, dreaming about what it would be like, to give those beautiful lips, just one kiss.