Santa Fe

The moonlight shone softly through the bars on the window, the wind from the ocean contrasting oddly with the sound of dripping water, and screaming men. The echoes forlornly wafted through the cold stone hallways. The nights were long, and the days were longer. The persistant mind-numbing invasions of the dementors never ceased.

Lucius Malfoy sat, staring out the window moodily. Thinking. Just thinking about his life, and the death that awaited him.

He pondered his family, Narcissa. A cold, beautiful facade. His wife. He laughed harshly. Did she love him, or did she love his money? Then, he thought of Draco, his son, his heir. The last remainng Malfoy. If he didn't count himself, and Lucius didn't. He thought of his one greatest wish. The one that would never come true. His wish for a daughter. He would never admit it to anyone, but his innermost dream was for a daughter. Someone that would love him the way he had always wanted Narcissa to. Someone who would love him no matter what, a daughter. Now he didn't have a family, but he reminded himself once again that he didn't need one. He was strong, and he would survive. He liked the fact that no one waited up for him at night. And he liked the fact that no one questioned him. Didn't he?

He thought of the hopes and dreams that he had had as a young man. When he dreamed he'd never seen a wife and a child, only himself. But he wasn't lonely, he was just alone. Like someone that knew he had family waiting for him, if only he looked hard enough. He knew he'd find them. He stared out the window once again, the stars twinkling in their galaxies far away. Dreaming. The night was the only time of day that he could do this. The night was the only time of day when the inmates slept, when his thoughts could stray. He could picture himself on a journey. On a train to anywhere but here. A train to somewhere like... he thought for a minute, Santa Fe. He smiled sardonically. Where that had come from? Who knows, maybe he was just slowly going insane.

He closed his eyes and pictured himself anywhere but where he was, the stone cold walls of Azkaban dissipating for the moment. He realized that he was free. Like the wind blowing through the trees. It gave him a feeling of immortality, just pure freedom. He heard the cell door creak open, and looked up into the face of a dementor, he shuddered. He looked at it as it turned around and walked back out, not sensing any happy thoughts. He knew it was a feeling that no one could ever take away from him. All he needed was a few more days, until he could get out. He closed his eyes again and sighed. Dreams did come true, he knew that they would if he ever got to Santa Fe.

He stood up, and began to pace the tiny cell. He pondered. Where does it say that you have to live and die here, if you could call this hell on earth 'living'. Who decided to make it so a guy couldn't get a break, he sighed heavily. Why should he only take what he was given? He could do so much better, he could do so much more. He hit the wall with his fist as he stared out the tiny window. He was trapped, this much he knew. Trapped where there was no future, even at his age. Realization hit him, as he saw the moon for the first time in weeks. He regretted the life that he had lived for someone else. Why did he break his back for Voldemort's sake. He hit the wall again. He didn't join the Death Eaters for any good reason, just because it had seemed like a smart thing to do at the time. He hissed through his teeth, his life didn't suit him any more. He had been ready for a change of scene, but he never thought it would be here. He smiled disdainfully. Being a Malfoy he had his name on the front page of the paper on a regular basis, but here, here, he was free. Free from the lousy headlines, and all the deadlines in between.

Lucius looked up at the moon, one last time, and began to pace again. He paused every so often to look out the window once more. He finally stopped, placing one foot on his narrow cot, and boosting himself up onto the window ledge, staring at the ocean far away.

He smiled. He wondered if Santa Fe was a real place; he thought of the places he had seen, Paris at Christmas, and Rome at New Years. He thought of Brazil, Argentina, and Mexico during the summer. He sighed, hoping that wherever and whenever Santa Fe was that it wouldn't forget him. He wondered if the people of Santa Fe would let him come and stay. He slid back to the floor, his back cracking loudly in the silence. He wasn't getting any younger, he knew this. Was it too much to ask for some space before his dying day? Was it too much to ask to want more than the air that ruffled his long hair through the bars? He growled, those damn bureaucrats could laugh in his face. He hit the wall again, harder this time, just save me a place, and I'll be there. Someday I'll get to Santa Fe.

Narcissa and Draco, his 'family'. He laughed harshly and sighed, if that's what you call a family. He was glad that he wasn't that way. He was free to do and say what he wanted. As long as he kept his dream called Santa Fe.

He looked out the window again, the morning light chasing away the fog. His door opened and a dementor came in. He motioned for Lucius to follow him.

Lucius looked out the window one last time as he left his cell to go to his final reward, his Santa Fe.