Somnium

Hermione sat staring at the Somnium for almost twenty minutes, wondering whether or not to drink it. In the end, she decided not to, and left her bedroom.

She went to the common room, and played a couple of games of chess, which she lost embarrassingly. Ron and Harry soon left to go to bed, leaving Hermione all alone, but she wasn't at all tired. She was alive, awake, and she didn't want to go to bed.

She went back to her bedroom, and stared at the Somnium for a couple of seconds before picking it up. Once again, she downed it in one, and once again, the effects were instant. She flitted around the room as if she were floating, but somehow managed to compose herself and be quiet as she walked through the common room and out of the portrait hole. She didn't want to wake anyone and be dragged back, not tonight.

Once safely out of sight of the Fat Lady, she skipped along the corridor, wondering where to go. She was allowed anywhere, within reason - after all, she was Head Girl.

She decided to go up to the Astronomy Tower. She liked it up there; she wasn't at all afraid of heights, and she would often sit right on the edge and think. It didn't occur to her that it would be dangerous in her present state.

She was almost at the final staircase to the Tower when a voice behind her made her turn.

"Miss Granger - where are you going at this time of night?" It was Snape.

"Up there," she said truthfully, pointing to the staircase. "Where are you going? Back to the scabby dark dungeon to pickle rats' brains, or whatever it is you do on an evening? No - wait - you're going the wrong way for the dungeons...where else could you be going?"

Snape frowned, making her giggle. He began to speak, but she interrupted him.

"Don't pull faces like that, it's too funny. I think that you're going for a little romantic tryst with someone - Professor Trelawney, maybe - oh well, I won't disturb you if you're going to the Astronomy Tower..."

She started past him, but Snape grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Thirty points from Gryffindor, for both rudeness and theft," he snarled.

"Theft? What theft? I haven't stolen anything."

"I am not stupid, Miss Granger -"

"Could have fooled me." Snape chose to ignore that.

"I know it was you who stole Somnium from my private stores. Look at you, you're clearly full of the stuff!"

Hermione began to giggle again. She knew she had to say something really funny now, but she didn't really know why. A smile settled on her lips as a thought entered her mind.

"Kiss my arse," she giggled...and collapsed.

***

Horrified, Snape caught her as she fell. She must have taken too much, the stupid girl - and why had she stolen it in the first place?

He lifted her up and, glancing down at her face, saw her left eyelid twitching. It was a sure sign that she had been taking Somnium. Cursing himself for giving the ingredients to the students to keep safe, he carried Hermione down to the hospital wing, put her gently on a bed and knocked loudly on the door to Madam Pomfrey's office.

She lived directly above the office, and presently opened the door, her face a mixture of bewilderment and anxiety.

"Professor Snape - what -?"

"Hermione Granger collapsed," he interrupted curtly. "She's been taking Somnium."

"Where on earth did she get that?" exclaimed Madam Pomfrey, hurrying over to Hermione and checking her pulse.

"She stole it, from my private stores. I gave each of the students enough for one person's worth of Dreamless Sleep Potion; she must have either taken that or lost it, because someone broke into my private stores this morning and took over eight quantities." Alarmed, Madam Pomfrey looked up.

"You don't think she would have taken all of it?"

"Not likely. My guess is that she tried to estimate one amount, but took too much."

"Well, it's nothing that a bit of Emundio won't sort out," Madam Pomfrey said. She rolled up Hermione's sleeve, filled a syringe with a clear liquid and injected it into her forearm. She looked up at Snape. "It's a -"

"I know what it is, it's a cleanser," he snapped. Looking slightly abashed, the nurse went to a cupboard and took out some white cotton pyjamas.

"Excuse me for a moment," she said, drawing the curtains around the bed. When she pulled them back again, Hermione was tucked up in bed, dressed in the pyjamas. "Someone will need to stay with her, in case of any difficulties overnight," she said pointedly.

"Well, I can't -"

"It's your fault that she's like this in the first place. What were you thinking of, giving the students Somnium to 'look after'? They knew what it was, and what it could do!"

"I didn't think that any of them would be stupid enough to take it!"

"Well, whatever your reason was, it is your fault. Get a chair and sit down; if anything goes wrong, just knock."

She swept away. Glowering, Snape pulled up a chair and sat down. It was going to be a long night.

***

She was being followed. Something was behind her; she could hear it rustling through the leaves.

She looked over her shoulder, but nothing was there. She started to run. Her follower ran, too. She sped up, looked behind her again, and tripped over a tree root and hit the ground hard. The thing, whatever it was, began to overpower her; she could feel the pressure of its weight, she couldn't move, she could hardly breathe; in a desperate attempt to save herself, she opened her mouth and screamed as loudly as she could -

Hermione jerked awake, her eyes wide and staring, her heart pounding in her chest. Hardly surprising, when taking into account the dream that she had just had.

Where was she? This wasn't her bedroom, or her bed, or even her pyjamas. She turned over onto her other side, and almost cried out.

Why was Professor Snape sitting by her bed? He was sleeping, his chest rising and falling as he breathed. Hermione finally realised where she was: the hospital wing. He must have brought her here after she collapsed. She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was still early - ten past six.

Her mouth was horribly dry. Looking around the room, she saw a jug and a glass on a nearby bedside cabinet, so she silently slipped out of bed and poured herself a glass of water. She went to the window, pulled one of the curtains back a little bit and sat on the nearest bed, staring out of the window across the Hogwarts grounds.

"What are you doing over here?"

Hermione looked around to see Snape. She shrugged.

"Looking," she said simply.

"Well, you should be in bed."

"Why? I'm fine."

"You took too much Somnium; you had to have your whole system cleansed."

Hermione swallowed. That didn't sound pleasant.

"How?" she asked.

"Just a shot of Emundio. It's a cleanser, and it does no harm, but it can make you weak. You had better go back to bed before Madam Pomfrey gets here."

Grudgingly, Hermione finished her water and went back to bed. Snape sat back in his chair and stared coldly at her.

"And of course, there is the matter of the Somnium that you stole from me," he said icily.

"How did you know it was me?"

"I didn't, until I saw you last night. Then it became blatantly obvious. You do know that it's horribly addictive?"

"No, it's not, it said in the book that it's not."

"It isn't for purebloods. Witches usually put the tiniest bit of Somnium into babies' milk, so that they sleep more soundly. They become immune to its side effects, and it does them no harm; it simply puts them to sleep. But for Muggle-borns such as yourself, who have never come across it before, it can be extremely addictive."

"You mean - I'm addicted?"

"Yes. Probably."

"Is there a way to beat the addiction?" Hermione asked in a small voice.

"Yes, but it won't be easy. The only way is to fight the cravings that you'll get. It will be painful - your body will go into fits and spasms as a form of protest - but if you really want to beat it, then you'll do it. A lifetime of using Somnium is not a happy one."

"How do you know?" Hermione said frostily. Snape annoyed her at the best of times, but now he was really annoying her.

"I first took some when I was fourteen," he said quietly. "My mother used to work from home, making medical potions, and when I went home for the Christmas holidays in my fourth year, I injected some into my arm - look." He rolled up his sleeve and showed Hermione the crook of his arm, which was dotted with tiny blue marks. He pointed to the most prominent one, more or less in the centre. "That's where I injected myself the first time."

"Why did you do it?"

"Curiosity, I suppose. I just wanted to see what it was like. My mother's surgery was attached to the house, and people would come to her wanting something to ease the pressures of everyday life. She would give them Somnium, and they'd go away happy. I was having a hard time at school, and I thought it would help.

"Mother worked out that someone had been stealing from her just after I went back to school, and it took her probably two minutes to realise it was me. By then, of course, I was completely hooked."

"But - you're a pureblood, aren't you?"

"Yes, but Mother was against giving Somnium to babies. She said it could do them harm if they had just the tiniest bit too much, and she was always terrified of making mistakes."

"So then what happened?"

"Well, just before I left for Hogwarts in January, I had taken a big jar of Somnium. Mother sent me hundreds of owls, saying that she wasn't angry with me and only wanted to help, but I ignored her. Eventually, she owled Professor Dumbledore and told him what was going on. He called me into his office one day, and then came with me to the dormitory to make sure that I got rid of every trace of Somnium. He sent it all back to Mother, and I had no chance of getting any more. I began to get cravings almost straight away, but I just had to ignore them. The fits would come at the strangest times; I had to be removed from my Charms exam because I was in such pain. It wasn't easy, but by October I was clean."

"How long did it take?"

"Not long at all, compared to some people; six months at the most."

"Six months," Hermione repeated slowly. Images flashed through her mind; pictures of herself shaking uncontrollably, of missing her N.E.W.T exams because of her addiction. "How could I have been so stupid?" she whispered, and began to cry.

At that moment, Madam Pomfrey came out of her office and scowled at Snape.

"Now what have you done?"

"I was just telling her that it might take a while for her to fight her addiction - it upset her, that's all."

"Hmph," Madam Pomfrey said, as though she didn't believe him. She turned to Hermione. "You can go when you've eaten some breakfast. Here."

She conjured up a tray with a plate of toast, a glass of orange juice and a box of tissues on it. Hermione blew her nose and nibbled at the toast, but found that she couldn't eat more than a couple of bites. Madam Pomfrey wasn't looking, so Hermione looked imploringly at Snape, who understood and got rid of the toast with a tap of his wand. She quickly drank the orange juice and asked Madam Pomfrey if she could have her clothes.

"Of course - here you are, dear. Get out of the way," she added to Snape, tapping him on the head with a book.

Hermione pulled the curtains around her bed and quickly dressed. When she pulled them back, Snape was standing by the window, looking out. She handed Madam Pomfrey the pyjamas back and went over to where he was standing.

"Thank you for helping me," she said quietly. He turned around.

"I have hardly helped you yet. To really help you would be to make sure that you got rid of all the Somnium in your possession."

"Well, all right then. That's if you don't mind, of course."

"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to have Professor McGonagall to help you? She is your Head of House -"

"And she's probably never taken Somnium in her life. I want you to help me. Please." He thought for a moment, and then nodded.

"Very well. Lead the way."

***

Hermione had forgotten that she was supposed to be going to Hogsmeade with Ron and the others, which is why it surprised her when she entered the Gryffindor common room to find Ron waiting for her on his own.

"Ron - what -"

"What the -"

They spoke at the same time, and Ron made a gesture to let Hermione speak first.

"Where's everyone else?" she asked.

"Hogsmeade. You were supposed to be coming too, remember?"

"Oh, God - I completely forgot. I'm sorry, I just - I had other things on my mind, that's all. Maybe next time."

"Yeah," he replied, eyeing Snape warily. Without another word, he turned and walked away.

"Well - this way, then," Hermione said. She led Snape to her bedroom, very glad that she had not left her underwear lying around the room as she often did.

"Is everyone in Gryffindor as impeccably neat as you?" he inquired, looking around.

"No, not everyone. Here."

Hermione unlocked her drawer and shoved the jar of Somnium into Snape's hands. "That's all I have." Her eyes suddenly fell on a piece of parchment in the drawer - it was the drawing of Snape being eaten. She hastily tried to shut the drawer, but he had already seen it.

"Who drew this?" he asked softly, lifting the parchment and staring at the cartoon version of himself, which was wriggling and squirming.

"I don't know," Hermione lied. "I found it."

"And you locked it in your drawer? You must have found it funny."

"Well, I - no, not really...well, maybe a little bit," she admitted. "I meant to throw it away, but it must have got mixed up with some other things."

"Very well." Snape pocketed the jar of Somnium. "If you don't mind, I - "

His words were cut off as Hermione suddenly reached out and gripped his hand. Her face was pale and taut, and she was shaking uncontrollably. She tried to fight the fit, but found she couldn't do anything but give in as Snape lifted her and put her on the bed. He beside her on the bed, making sure that she didn't fall off

When the fit was over, she stared at him with wide eyes.

"I can't do this," she whispered.

"Yes, you can."

"I can't! I can't do this, I'm too weak, too stupid..." She broke into sobs and crumpled against him. Awkwardly, he patted her on the back and gently tried to push her away, but she was clinging to him like a limpet, much to his annoyance. Severus Snape was not made for hugs. Eventually, she let go of him.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. "I just feel so helpless."

"Hermione..."

"What?"

"Nothing." They looked at each other for a moment, and before she really knew what she was doing, Hermione leaned forwards and kissed him.

At first he tried to tug away, but Hermione had unconsciously put her arms around his neck and he was more or less trapped. It was she who pulled away first, looking half-ashamed, half-amazed.

"Sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have -"

"Of course - you're right - I should go..."

They didn't look at each other as he left. Hermione sighed. Potions had been a difficult lesson before, but now it was going to be a nightmare.