Whiskey (Yes, Please!), Tango (Er... Maybe Not), Foxtrot (Um...), Over?

Harry stared at the two men on either side of the table, not certain he could believe his eyes. Someone was getting along with Snape?!? He focused on the bottle a moment. "That has to be it," he muttered. "He's pissed."

"I'm not pissed, I'm drunk. A little." House waved a dismissive hand at Harry, picking up the bottle again. "Who's the little pimple, anyway?"

Snape's lip curled up in a disdainful sneer. "Potter. The so-called hero of the wizarding world."

"Hero?" House raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Harry. "He's just a kid."

"With a fan club."

"Really?" House frowned, looking at Harry again. "Doesn't look like much of a hero to me. Looks more like an underfed kid with anemia."

"There is speculation that his relatives starve him." Snape snatched the bottle from House, taking a healthy swig of the whiskey. "Personally, I think he's just looking for attention."

"Might be." House leaned back in his chair. "How much longer before the therapist notices her personal stash of good booze gone?"

"The curse shouldn't wear off for another day, at least." Snape smirked, setting the bottle carefully down on the table.

Harry shook his head in disbelief, keeping a wary eye on the two as he groped behind him for the door. "Ron is never going to believe this." His hand landed on something that was decidedly NOT the doorknob, and he yelped, leaping away from the slap aimed at the back of his head by Hermione. "Sorry!"

"What is it now?" House turned to glare at Harry, and his eyebrows went up, his gaze quickly going past Harry. "Who's this?"

"Granger." Snape let out a sigh of irritation. "Merlin, girl, don't you know how to knock? I expected Potter to be rude, but one would expect you had some few manners."

"I did knock, Professor." Hermione stepped around Harry, picking up the bottle as she stopped in front of the table. "You weren't paying attention, and the door was open." She took a sniff at the bottle before downing a mouthful, setting the bottle back on the table with a cheeky grin. "Your therapist is looking for her whiskey. Something about drowning the migraine from hell."

"Vicodin would take the edge off that." House had his gaze focused on the neckline of Hermione's robe, and the dip that revealed a hint of cleavage. "She can probably convince someone to give her some."

"Or a pain-killing potion. I could recommend one." Snape pulled a small vial out of a pocket in the sleeve of his robe. "Give her this, Miss Granger, and take Potter with you. He interrupted."

"Interrupted what?" Hermione conjured a chair, sitting down, and fixing Snape with an unblinking stare. "An attempt of two men to get completely plastered?"

"Actually, we were discussing taking over the world with Internet porn. Would you care to join us?" House picked up the bottle, tilting the neck towards her, one eyebrow raised.

"Don't do it, Hermione!" Harry finally found his voice again, staring with horror at the two. "He's just as bad as Snape!"

"Nonsense." Hermione chuckled, taking the bottle from House. "Snape doesn't try to stare down the front of my robes."