Memoirs of a Ministress

****

When I was young, if you would have asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I can tell you with confidence that the answer wouldn't have been Ministress of Magic. But that's what I've become. The first in over a century. And in a time of absolute peril. The rise of Voldemort, the corruptness of the Ministry, and the impending war.

When I graduated from Hogwarts two years ago, I thought that maybe I'd have a job at the Ministry, or play professional Quidditch. But I was selected to be an Ambassador for The Ministry in foreign countries. When Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic at the time, refused to acknowledge that Voldemort was indeed back, and regaining power, he lost Albus Dumbledore's trust, and that of many of the governors. He was asked to step down and the governors went about searching through the ranks to choose a new Minister. My name was mentioned, with much apprehension, for my work over the year and a half I'd been an Ambassador. I was chosen. I won the election by one vote.

Now everyone is looking to me. What are we going to do, they ask of me. All I can tell them, is that we have to wait for a move to be made. An initiation to this war. Until then we have no choice but to sit and wait.

The Aurors have been sent to look for any unusual gatherings, and unusual activity. We have to monitor all former Death Eaters and that is the way I feel is most efficient. The Aurors know my position. I don't want them killed. I want them in Azkaban. To rot for what they've done.

The focus of all my worry is Hogwarts. A school full of children, run by the most powerful Sorcerer of the century, Albus Dumbledore. The main target of Voldemort hidden within the schools walls. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. My former teammate. The boy I played alongside for three years as a Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. He was almost killed last year.

Of course, Cedric Diggory was killed. And by Voldemort. He was the first to fall. Deep down I knew he wouldn't be the last. I just didn't want to believe it. So many in my year and some in the year after me, have fallen at the hands of Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Entire families have been killed by refusing him. And I let it happen. I'm in a position of power and yet I am powerless. So many deaths. Marcus Flint and his family, Cho Chang's parents and older sister, Stephanie, The Lestrange's (who refused to be Death Eaters again), Bill Weasley and his newly wedded wife, Andrea, Oliver Wood's older sister, Gillian, and so many others.

They were so random. No one could have prevented them. But it was my job to have tried. And I did try. But short of going out there and stopping Voldemort and the Death Eaters myself, I will always feel regret. I will always grieve for those lost and their families. And I worry for those not yet lost.

After getting Sirius Black's name cleared, he was able to protect Harry first hand. I'm proud to say I made that my first order of duty. I also got an act passed, and it just barely passed, so that the werewolves' classification had been changed from Beast to Being. In my final year at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin had taught at the school. A werewolf, and the kindest and most intelligent man I had ever meant, short of Albus Dumbledore. I felt sorry for him. The prejudice against him was unlike any I'd ever witnessed. I knew it shouldn't be that way, and I always kept it in the back of my mind that if ever a vote came up on the topic, I would vote for Being against Beast.

Harry is the target. Everyone in the Ministry knows it. Hell, the whole world knows it. He didn't die the night his parents were killed and there had always been such a theory surrounding it. That perhaps he is meant to destroy Voldemort once and for all. Maybe this time.

He is a sixteen-year-old boy! He doesn't have the knowledge, nor the skills to kill or destroy anyone. Sure, he has enough hatred for Voldemort, but I don't know if he has the strength. He's shown amazing will and determination in his years in the magical world, but strength is an entirely different plane. Most grown wizards don't possess that strength unless they are trained for it.

I'm not sure how this is all going to end. I can only hope that no more innocent lives are lost and that this will end well. Voldemort will be killed, the Death Eaters will be placed in Azkaban for the duration of their lives, and the world will keep spinning. But only time will tell, and hopefully I will be around to see it.

For know, I will do my best. I will serve as Ministress and all that the title entails. Until the day comes when they see fit that they don't need me anymore. Only then will I step down. In the end, I am proud of my position. I really am. Even as Ambassador, I got to do and see things I never thought I would do or see. In the midst of all the chaos, I am truly blessed to be living this version of my life. I can't imagine it any other way.

The pressure to be in this role is sometimes too much though. As I said before, I'm expected to have all the answers. When in reality, I have none. I'm as blind to the future and its events as the rest of the world. Being all knowing would be wonderful right about now. But as much as I wish it, I know it will never be.

****

A knock at the door tore her from her thoughts. She stood from her desk, abandoning the parchment she had been writing on, and crossed the room to the door. She opened the door to reveal her advisor and childhood friend, Percy Weasley.

"You're due at Hogwarts in an hour, Milady."

She laughed slightly. "Percy, if you call me that one more time, I'll knock you silly," she said, allowing him entrance.

He stared at her amused. "I assumed you liked the title, Katie."

"You assume too much," Katie said, walking over to the small desk and putting away her jottings.

"Obviously. So, are you ready to go? We'll Apparate to Hogsmeade and we'll be escorted from there to the castle."

"You're accompanying me?" she asked him raising an eyebrow.

Percy cleared his throat. "I thought you might like some company. After all, this will not be a pleasant meeting."

Katie nodded resignedly. "You're right. Thank you for inviting yourself," she said jokingly, walking towards him and the door, "Shall we?"

"After you," Percy said, holding the door for her.

Katie Bell walked from the room and down to the Apparation Area, Percy following close behind. She took a deep breath before Apparating. Just another meeting in another day in her newly important life. The next moment, when her eyes opened, she was in Hogsmeade. She looked around with a small smile on her face. The place hadn't changed since she'd seen it last. Percy appeared at her side a moment later and nodded to a person she hadn't noticed.

"Professor McGonagall," she said, holding out her hand, "Pleasure to see you again. Only wish it were on better circumstances."

The older woman took her hand and her face contorted with emotion as Katie spoke.

"As do I, Milady. But, come now. The Headmaster is awaiting your arrival," she said turning to walk towards the castle.

Katie and Percy followed Professor McGonagall up the hill to Hogwarts. Katie looked up as the castle came into view. Truly beautiful as it was, it saddened her just by seeing it. She hated coming back to this place. It always reminded her of her days at the school. And of people she thought she'd forgotten. Noticing her rigid poise beside him, Percy looked at Katie concerned.

"I know what you're thinking," he whispered.

"Oh really?" she countered, still staring straight ahead towards the castle.

"Just relax. The past is the past, and you can't change a thing about it now," he said comfortingly, as they approached the front doors of the castle.

Taking a deep breath, Katie nodded, straightening her official robes, as they ascended the stairs. The great doors opened revealing the entrance hall. Professor McGonagall led them up the main staircase. Many turns and staircases later, Katie, Percy, and Professor McGonagall stood in front of a grumpy looking gargoyle.

"Is Mr. Weasley accompanying you or-" Professor McGonagall started, but a look from Katie stopped her.

"Of course he is. As my advisor, he is to be present at all meetings concerning matters of the Ministry," she said importantly.

"As you wish," Professor McGonagall stated as she turned to the gargoyle, "Veritas."

The gargoyle hopped aside to reveal a moving staircase. Katie boarded it, followed closely by Percy, as it carried them to Dumbledore's office. As it did so, Katie worked furiously to hold her composure. When they reached the top, Katie walked to the large door and knocked. A voice from inside the room told them to come in. Katie pushed open the door, Percy right on her heels. He walked in front of her holding the door open so as she could make her entrance. As she did, she noticed Dumbledore was not the only one in the room.

"Ah, Milady, please come in. Sit down. We have much to discuss," the headmaster said gesturing to a seat in front of his desk, "I asked Sirius to join us today. After all, some of this will have to do with his godson."

"Of course," Katie said sitting down, "I hope you don't mind Percy being here as well?"

"Not at all," Dumbledore said conjuring another chair, "Have a seat Mr. Weasley."

"Please understand that as my advisor, Percy is present by my request," she said as she caught the confused look on Sirius' face.

Sirius nodded at her, smiling slightly. "Not that I would question your judgment, Milady."

"Now," Dumbledore said sitting in such a composed posture that it made Katie nervous, "On to more pressing matters. As you know, the Non-Apparation field has been extended to include the lake, the forest, and some of the surrounding hilltops. Hogsmeade has remained untouched because of its already standing Muggle Repelling Charms."

"But the only people who would ever try to attack the school wouldn't be muggles Albus. They would be wizards. And if they went to Hogwarts, they know that Hogsmeade is nearby. If they didn't, surely Voldemort will tell them. Something needs to be done to keep Hogwarts off the map to even wizards. All except the people who work here and the students. Its the only way to keep everyone safe," Katie said heatedly.

"I agree. But is it even a possibility?" Sirius asked from beside her.

"Short of an invisible wall surrounding Hogwarts and its surrounding areas? No, I'm not sure there is," Albus said seriously.

"But that is a possibility. We all know why this meeting is even being held. Harry is the target and no matter where he is, he will be in danger," Katie said diplomatically, "And because of this, Hogwarts needs to be protected by whatever means necessary. So, any option is a good option."

Albus looked at her with a twinkle in his eyes, "And you thought you couldn't handle this job Katie."

Katie blushed slightly, before becoming serious again.

"Can we please stay on topic here?" she said, smacking Percy as a laugh escaped him.

"Of course, Milady. Now. How should we go about protecting the school? The wall seems like a good idea. We just need to work out the specifics, right?" Albus said looking at Katie.

"Right," she said, "I'll have my best Charms workers come to see you and begin work on it as soon as possible."

She stood and Percy followed suit.

"If there is nothing more that needs to be discussed, I should really be back at the Ministry office." Katie said, looking to Albus.

"No, I think everything is covered. I will call on you when the precautions are completed," Albus said, standing and bowing his head slightly.

Sirius stood and turned to Katie, "Thank you. For everything."

Katie faced him, a smile coming to her face. "Of course Mr. Black."

She bowed her head slightly to Albus, before following Percy as he led the way from the room. As the exited the office, Katie breathed a sigh of relief. She followed Percy, wordlessly, from Dumbledore's office.

"Well, that went well, I think," Percy said, as they walked down the first flight of stairs.

"I suppose it did. Do you think I was too pushy on the whole thing?" Katie asked nervously.

"No, not at all," Percy said, "I think Dumbledore needed to hear that. I mean, honestly, Muggle Repelling Charms won't keep a Dark Wizard out."

Katie nodded and they walked down the last staircase into the entrance hall when a voice sounded behind them.

"Perce! Hey wait up!"

They turned to see Ron running towards them, followed closely by Harry and Hermione.

"What is it Ron? I'm not here because I want to be. This is official business," Percy said, that important tone seeping into his voice.

Katie couldn't help but laugh. "Percy! Be nice to your brother."

The three kids stopped upon seeing Katie in her official robes. She cringed remembering that only Harry had seen her in her Ministress attire. He had been present at all of the proceedings to get Sirius' name cleared.

"Oh, hello Katie," Ron said, bowing his head slightly before looking at her again, "Official business? Is everything alright?"

"Just speaking with Dumbledore about safety precautions for the castle," she said, smiling, "I have to make sure all of you are safe here."

"Anyway," Percy said, looking at Ron, "What did you need?"

"Just wanted to know what you were doing here," he said, his face going red, "Excuse me for being curious."

Percy sighed, his hands thrown up in resignation. "I'm sorry Ron, ok?"

"Yeah, ok," he said, looking to Harry and Hermione, "I guess we'll go then."

Katie looked at them thoughtfully as they walked away, before realizing Percy was talking to her.

"What? Percy did you say something?" she said embarrassed.

"Yes, come on, lets go," he said, leading the way back out of the castle.

****

It looks as if these jottings are becoming quite numerous. Maybe I'll keep them and put them together in a memoir someday. Who knows, eh?

Well, Hogwarts is now surrounded by an invisible wall, that I had the pleasure of seeing in action. That means Harry and all of the students are now safe. But of course, with every victory comes a set-back in this world.

More people have been killed and supposedly there is now a price on my head. Somehow I knew that was coming. I'm the first person that has been in charge of the Ministry that has fought against Voldemort in such a successful way. I have to live at the Ministry office now. I constantly have someone with me. A bodyguard if you will. Whether it be Percy or some other Ministry official. Most of the time it's Percy though.

In fact, that is something that worries me. With him being around me all the time, he's putting himself in danger. If anything ever happened to him, I'd never forgive myself. It hurt so much to lose Bill and his wife. The Weasley's are like a second family to me. I don't know what I'd do if he died protecting me. I'd rather die than have that happen. He's the most loyal friend I've ever had.

****

"Katie?" Percy called, pushing the door to her office, now her home, open.

"Yes, Percy. What is it?" Katie said, looking up from her jottings.

"There was another attack," Percy said, shutting the door behind him.

To Katie, he looked as if he was going to break down at any moment. She crossed the room quickly, knowing that wasn't a good sign.

"What happened Percy? Where was it?"

"A Quidditch match in Scotland. Puddlemere United was playing," he said, taking off his glasses to wipe his eyes.

Katie blinked and couldn't speak. Percy chose that moment to clear his throat and continue.

"Many civilians were killed. The teams were pretty much unharmed. But Oliver. Oliver had to play hero."

"Is he-"

"No," Percy said, "but he was subject to Cruciatus. He's at St. Mungo's. I don't know anymore than that though."

"We have to go see him," Katie said, grabbing her cloak.

"Yes, of course. Follow me," Percy said, leading the way downstairs to the Apparation Area.

They apparated to St. Mungo's and walked up to the front desk. The nurse behind the desk fumbled with the chart in her hand upon seeing Katie.

"Milady, how can I be of service?" she asked, in a high-pitched voice.

"Can you tell me where Oliver Wood is? He was brought in today," Katie said, trying to remain professional.

"Of course Milady. Follow me," she said, walking from behind the desk.

Katie and Percy followed her. Katie could barely recognize where she was going or where she was until the nurse stopped outside a room.

"Here you go, Milady. Room 111." she said, bowing her head before retreating.

"You go first," Katie whispered to Percy, her voice shaking.

Percy nodded opening the door and walking in ahead of her. Katie followed slowly. She let the door close behind her and stood there frozen. Percy disappeared behind a curtain shielding half the room from view. Katie heard voices that could only be Oliver's parents greeting Percy. She heard Percy excuse himself and saw him appear once more and walk over to her.

"Come on Katie. Alley and James are here," he said, taking her hand and leading her towards the curtain.

When she walked around the curtain, she was met by Oliver's parents. Alley embraced her and James nodded in her direction from the chair he was seated in at Oliver's bedside. When Alley let her go, she noticed Oliver sitting up, covered in bandages. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Hello your majesty," Oliver said, smiling mischievously.

Katie laughed, but soon tears were falling from her eyes, as she walked towards his bedside. Oliver opened his arms to her and she embraced him carefully, still crying. He shushed her as she clung to him.

"Its alright Katie, I'm fine, just a few bruises and scrapes," Oliver said, as Katie pulled back and sat on the bed beside him.

"You could have died," Katie said, looking into his eyes, "What were you thinking?"

"I saved the team," he said sincerely, "It was worth the little bit of pain."

Katie looked at him. His eyes told the truth. He was putting on a brave face for her, his parents, and Percy. She reached out a hand and cupped his cheek.

"You're brave. Braver than me," she said, placing a kiss on his forehead, "Make sure you get enough rest Oliver. I know you."

He smiled at her and Katie had to get up and leave the room. She walked down to the dead end at one end of the hallway. She leaned against the wall and slid down it. She leaned her head on her knees as she hugged them to her chest. She berated herself for caring so much. Oliver had been the thorn in her side since she had started at Hogwarts. She had gone through the phase every girl did while at Hogwarts. Get a crush on Oliver Wood, realize he doesn't know you exist and move on. Katie thought she had moved on. But every time he smiled at her, she felt like a little girl again. It was very unnerving. It was a weakness. And she hated it.

She felt an arm encompass her shoulders and looked up to see Percy looking down at her concerned.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Damn him," Katie muttered, leaning against Percy.

Percy laughed and squeezed her shoulder, "Damn him and his charm, eh? Even injured, he can turn woman to Jell-O with a smile. Yeah, damn him."

Katie laughed out loud before putting her hand over her mouth and leaning further into Percy to muffle her laughter. After all, how professional did she look? Sitting on the floor with her advisor, laughing like a child. Percy hugged her tightly before pulling away and trying to stand.

"Come on Milady, we need to get back to the Ministry."

Katie laughed again and tried to stand herself. Percy offered her a hand once he was up and helped her. They said to goodbye to Oliver and his parents and apparated back to the Ministry.

****

I am pathetic. How can I still be affected by him like I'm still at school? I honestly thought I was over this. I'm a politician of sorts now, and I'm acting like a child. Percy says I might just still be attracted to him. He then teased me about being afraid of having human emotions. But he was right. I am afraid. If I let myself care about him, I could get hurt. So I put my wall up, and thus stay safe. But I'm lonely. I can admit that now.

I'm truly and honestly lonely.

****