Life Is For Living

****

Katie followed Madam Pomfrey into her office and watched as she took some powder out a pot on the hearth. She threw it into the fire and called Snape's name. He appeared a moment later and looked concernedly at Katie.

"What's wrong?" he asked Madam Pomfrey.

"She had a vision, Severus, and she wishes to speak to you."

Snape took one look at Katie and nodded. "Yes. Yes, of course. Come, Katie."

Katie stood beside him and followed his lead through the fireplace. When they walked out, they were in the potions classroom. Snape quickly walked over and shut and locked the door. He walked back over to her then, offering her a chair to sit in. He opened hi mouth to speak, when a knock sounded at the door.

"Severus? I know you're in there. What locking spell did you put on this door?"

Katie smiled as Snape sighed. McGonagall. He pointed his wand at the door and said the incantation he had used on the door. It sprung open. McGonagall walked in and upon seeing Katie, she turned and relocked the door.

"We have been looking everywhere for her! Don't tell me she's been here the whole time?"

"No, Minerva. She helped Mr. Malfoy to the Hospital Wing after the fiasco in the entrance hall," Snape said with venom.

McGonagall sighed, but kept her composure. "He is ok then?"

"Fine," Snape said turning back to Katie, "She might as well hear about this too, don't you think?"

Katie nodded reluctantly. Snape motioned for McGonagall to stand where they were, conjuring her a chair also. "Sit, Minerva. Katie was about to tell me about the vision she had."

McGonagall looked up at Snape disbelievingly. "You can't mean-"

Snape shot a glare at her. "I said it, did I not?" he said and then looked at Katie, "Go on, Miss. Bell."

"It was nothing. Just a room with a trunk that had seven keyholes. I have no idea what it meant," Katie said rubbing at her arms.

She didn't want to tell them both about the letter and her arms, for she knew they were connected. But she was ashamed. It was if she had cut herself all over again. The hiding of the wounds. But they couldn't figure this out if she didn't show them. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the letter and handed it to Snape.

"It was in my pocket. I don't know how it got there."

Snape read the line on the parchment and then noticed the blood. "Katie, where did the blood come from? It's obvious from the context that the parchment was enchanted," he said, pushing when she resisted answering, "Where did it make you bleed?"

Katie pushed up her sleeves and displayed the still red skin of her forearms. They were still throbbing from the trauma. McGonagall gasped and Severus surveyed her arms gently.

"I didn't even notice it. Draco did. He told Madam Pomfrey that I was hurt and that's when I saw. I pulled up my sleeves and the scars were reopening, before my eyes."

"And you felt no pain?"

Katie shook her head. "Not until, the vision."

Snape let go of her arms and went over to the shelves behind him. After searching for a moment, he returned with what he had been looking for.

"This will take that redness away," he said handing it to Katie, "I don't want to hurt you, so-"

Katie cut him off with a nod. "Thanks."

McGonagall sat there, speechless as Katie applied the salve. It really did take the redness away. But not only that, the throbbing was fading and her skin seemed to be cooling. When she had finished she handed the small jar back to Snape. That was when McGonagall spoke.

"What are we going to do about this? If these visions cause her pain-"

"How bad was the pain, Katie?" Snape said, remembering that he had never asked.

Katie took a deep breath to push the tears back. "Horrible. I couldn't even stand. I ended up sitting on the floor with Draco trying to snap me out of it."

Snape nodded. "I know something that may help you with that. It may take me a few days to find the book though."

McGonagall nodded. "And we'll need to tell the Headmaster. Even if we still don't know who's sending the letters, he needs to know about this."

"I'll tell him. I need to speak to him about one of Katie's classes," he said, his voice bordering on malicious.

McGonagall stood. "Very well. I suggest you head up the Gryffindor Tower, Miss. Bell, when you feel you can."

She left the room after that and Katie looked at Snape. He looked down at her and furrowed his brow.

"Minerva's right," he said sighing, "Will you be ok, heading up alone?"

"Yeah," Katie said feeling extremely fatigued all of a sudden.

She walked up to the common room and escaped up to the dormitory easily. Her head had barely hit the pillow when she fell asleep.

****

Over the next month and a half, Snape had his talk with Dumbledore. And while Dumbledore didn't think it was a good idea for him to tutor Katie, he did agree for her to do reports and research papers instead of attending classes with Professor Moody.

Katie and Draco sent unsigned notes during the morning and sometimes afternoon owl delivery times. It was there own private joke, for no one noticed in the sea of owls that one was flying back and forth from the Gryffindor table and the Slytherin table. Meetings were arranged that way an Katie had never been so daring in her entire life. She really only spent time with Draco. But that was fine with her. He understood her so completely that Katie wondered sometimes if they shared both a heart and a brain.

Apart from her rendezvous with Draco, she spent her time alone. She didn't talk to her friends unless it was necessary. She knew they had to be thinking that she was hiding from them because she was depressed. But for once in her life, she felt happy. And she told them so. But she knew they still worried.

Her and Draco talked about everything. Things that scared them, things that made them laugh. People they hated, people they liked. He made her open up.

****

Sitting in an abandoned corridor, Katie felt like crying. She had been ridiculed that day the worst than she had ever been. She had been assaulted all day by people asking why she was ditching DADA class and their insinuations as to why. A few Slytherins even knew about her parents being Death Eaters, which made it so much worse. And so she sat. And waited for Draco.

He showed up not a moment later and sat beside her. Tears fell down onto Katie's cheeks as she retold the events of that day. Draco just listened and waited for her to finish. When she stopped talking, he placed an arm around her shoulders.

"Fuck them, Katie. Who cares what they think or what they know. They don't even matter. None of them matter," he said soothingly.

**

- The walls you build around yourself,

I guess they also keep you here.

Are you afraid of what they think?

Whoever "they" happen to be.

Or are you hiding from the scars of your own reality? -

Staind - "Realty"

**

"But they're all right!" Katie cried out, "I can't stand this at all. I felt strong at the end of last year and during the summer. And now these letters and the fucking dreams and the visions. Now I just feel weak," she said leaning against Draco, "Why can't I be normal? Have a normal family and a normal life. And be invisible again."

**

- I wish that I could disappear,

Unzip my skin and leave it here.

So I could be no one again,

And never let nobody,

I'd let nobody,

I'd let nobody in -

Staind - "Blow Away"

**

"If you were normal, you'd be like everybody else. And if you were like everybody else, you wouldn't be the girl that I care so much about that I'm risking getting caught by both Filch and Snape to come see," Draco said, rubbing her arm absently.

Katie hugged him around his chest, they way he had done to her so many times before. "Thanks, Draco."

"Don't mention it. And the next person that says anything to you, tell them to fuck off and be done with it. You don't have to stand there and take that," he said as she sat up.

He gave her a quick smile before standing and offering her a hand. She took his offered hand and he helped her up. They said goodnight and walked off in opposite directions, heading back toward their respective common rooms.

****

The next thing Katie knew, the students from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons were arriving. The night of October 30th, the entire school stood on the staircase leading to the front doors. The Beauxbatons students arrived in a large powder blue carriage, drawn by enormous golden horses. When the Headmistress, who was as big as Hagrid, Madame Maxime approached with her students, one boy stuck out among them. Katie elbowed Angelina hard, and pulled her down so she could whisper to her.

"Ang! It's the boy from Diagon Alley. From the parchment store."

Angelina looked down at the small group of students in pale blue robes, and upon spotting the boy that had flirted with Katie, she sputtered and smacked her hand over her mouth, before turning her head to tell Alicia. Alicia had a similar reaction which earned all three of them a reprimand from Professor McGonagall.

A short while later, the Durmstrang students arrived and Katie felt a shiver go through her when she saw, who had to be, the Headmaster of the school approach with his students. Snape had told her that his name was Igor Karkaroff and that he was a former Death Eater. To Katie, he looked to be a weak and nervous man. Snape had been right in saying that Karkaroff wouldn't dare make an attempt to hurt her.

****

The feast that night was extravagant, to say the least. Foods from the home countries of the Beauxbaton and Durmstrang students were served, but Katie had a hard time being able to eat anything without feeling sick. At one point, she did have to drag Angelina to the bathrooms with her. Angelina stood outside the stall as Katie let out a dry heave, before opening the door and kneeling down beside her friend.

"Katie, why don't I take you to Madam Pomfrey? Maybe you've got a touch of the flu," she said placing the back of her hand on Katie's forehead.

Her forehead was rather warm, but Katie knew why. The potion Snape had made for her to deal with the pain induced by the visions had some unhappy side effects. She only felt sick when she was about to have a vision or right after. Which is why she had brought Angelina with her. She felt so weak after the visions.

"Just a side effect," Katie got out before clutching her stomach in pain.

It felt as if someone had stabbed her in the abdomen. She felt Angelina grasp her shoulders and call her name before her vision went black and she had to close her eyes against the simulated blindness. The picture against her eyelids wasn't much brighter. It was night, and outside. In a maze. And two hands grabbing hold of a trophy. And then it was gone and Katie opened her eyes and was able to see again.

"Katie? Kate! What in the hell is happening to you? What are you hiding from us?" Angelina said and Katie could hear the tears in her friends voice.

Not being able to find her voice, she simply shook her head and hugged Angelina.

"Katie, if there's something wrong, I can help you. Well, I can try. Or we could go to Snape, you know," she said, pulling away from Katie, "Just don't hide things from me."

Katie cleared her throat and locked eyes with Angelina. "Over the summer, I started having these dreams. Very vivid dreams. And what happened in them was irrelevant to the information in them," she said swallowing thickly, "I have a hereditary Seer ability. But its so weak, that I can't control it, or have complete visions. It's just scenes of things. And I have no idea what they mean. And Snape said I won't until its too late. He gave me a potion to deal with the pain, but its making me sick as you can see," Katie looked away from Angelina and wiped at the tears that had leaked from her eyes, "I hate this. I can't ever be a normal witch. No, I have to have stupid powers that I can't even control."

Angelina's face contorted and she too began to cry. "Oh, Katie. I'm so sorry!" she said throwing her arms around Katie, "You poor thing."

Angelina pulled away from Katie and stood slowly, helping Katie up as she did. Once out of the stall, Katie leaned against a nearby wall and took a few deep breaths.

"Do you think you can make it, or do you need some help?" Angelina asked.

"I can make it. If I start to wobble, catch me."

"Can do," Angelina said smiling at her friend, "You need to tell Snape you know. About the potion not helping. It's not good to keep doing this to yourself."

Katie nodded slightly and walked with Angelina back into the Great Hall.