I Only Wanted

****

    The long run up to Hogwarts, all Katie could do was panic.

    "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" she yelled as she ran.

    She stopped running when she reached the doors to the entrance hall, and continued her walk. She decided to head to the common room and just sit by the fire for a while. She was pretty sure that everyone would most likely be in the Great Hall, just hanging out, which wasn't uncommon on the weekends. Especially for people who had friends in other houses. As she made her way up the staircases, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head and realized that it was Draco Malfoy. He was sitting against the wall, just staring off into space.

    "What are you doing up here, Malfoy?" Katie asked loudly.

    "Can't I sit where I please?" Draco said, looking at her slightly startled.

    Katie noticed the tinge of red in the pale boy's cheeks. She berated herself for caring, but she had to ask. "What happened to you?" she asked, non-threateningly.

    Draco stood, and walked toward her, exuding his usual confidence. He got right up in her face before answering. "Nothing I can't handle, Bell. Now, if you'll excuse me," he said, making his way around her and walking down the staircase behind her.

    Katie took a deep breath before continuing on her path. 'I really need to stop caring about other people,' she thought bitterly, 'Where does it get you anyway?'

    As Katie approached Gryffindor Tower, she felt as if she had a lead weight in her stomach. She kept replaying what she had said to Oliver and what Cedric had said to her, over and over in her mind. Could she really be that transparent? If Cedric knew…. Well, she didn't want to think about it. She gave the password to Sir Cadogan and entered the common room. It was deserted except for Percy, who was sitting by the fire with a book. Katie bypassed him and walked up to her dorm, disposed of her broom and heavy cloak and walked back down to sit with Percy.

    "Percy, can I talk to you?"

    Percy marked his page and turned to her. "Sure. What's on your mind?"

    "Well, there's a lot of things I haven't been telling anyone lately," Katie said, avoiding Percy's gaze.

    "Like what?"

    "Well, shortly after lessons started, my parents wrote a letter to Dumbledore saying they didn't want to be my parents anymore. So now, I'm an orphan."

    Percy looked at her wide-eyed. "Katie, I'm so sorry."

    "I'm not. I can make it on my own. I think," Katie said, looking at him, "But, I've just been having a rough time with it all."

    Percy stood and moved to sit beside her on the couch in front of the fire. "Well, that’s to be expected Kate. I just, I can't believe they could do that to you. And I wish there was something I could do," he said sadly.

    "I know, so do I. When Dumbledore told me, I expected him to snap his fingers and make everything all better. But this is life I guess, and life isn't always fair," she said in a mature voice.

    Percy nodded. "Too true."

    Katie just stared at Percy for a moment. She mentally smacked herself for not going to Percy sooner. She could have saved herself some pain and anguish. Percy smiled at her and placed an arm around her shoulders.

    "Anything else, Kate?"

    "Am I obvious?" Katie asked, voicing the one thing really weighing on her mind.

    "About what?" Percy asked, slightly confused.

    "Ok, let me rephrase that," Katie said uncomfortably, "If I liked someone, do you think I'd be too obvious about it?"

    "Well, if you're talking about Oliver-"

    "Goddammit!" Katie said exasperated, "Am I that bloody transparent?"

    Percy opened his mouth to say something, when the portrait hole burst open. Oliver walked through, closely followed by Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia.

    "Good, Katie, you're here. We need to talk," Oliver said looking at her with a neutral expression, "We agree," he said, motioning to the people behind, though she saw Angelina shook her head 'no', "That for the good of the team, that you should stop tutoring Cedric."

    "Oh really," Katie said, standing, even though Percy tried to hold her back, "And why is that for the good of the team? I'm helping him pass Charms and that's hurting the team?"

    "Look, Katie," Oliver said, and Katie could tell that he was in 'Team Captain' mode, "Just do this and we can move on."

    Katie looked at him defiantly. "Is that an order? Because it sure sounded like you were trying to order me around."

    "Maybe it was," Oliver said, standing his own ground, his temper obviously starting to flare, "I don't wanna fight with you, Katie."

    "Quit saying my name like I'm a child. You have no right to order me around. Who the hell do you think you are?"

    "I'm your team's Captain!"

    "I think this has gone beyond the team, Oliver. You are in dangerous territory," Katie said, clenching her fists in frustration, "I will tutor who I want, when I want, and I don't give a shit what you think about it!"

    "You're acting like a spoiled brat!" Oliver fired back.

    "Maybe if you appreciated anyone once in a while I wouldn't have to act like a brat! When have you ever told us that we played well? I'll tell you when. Never, Oliver! Never!"

    Harry, Hermione, and Ron entered the common room, with Lee not far behind, just adding to the chaos. But Katie continued as if she hadn't noticed the crowd drawing in around them.

    "But you congratulate Harry, don't you, Oliver! The whole fucking team would die without him, huh! All you care about is winning the Cup. You don't care about us, about the team. About any bloody thing but that blasted metal Cup! And if you don't get it, you'll mope and throw a fit and tell us we failed you. We. Failed. You. Now who's the brat, Oliver! You know what, you were right. You are a bad Captain. And I'm not going to stop tutoring Cedric. It's my own damn business and my life. Stay out of it from now on," Katie said, breathing heavily.

    "Katie, please-" Oliver said calming himself.

    "No. I'm done, Oliver. I don't want to see you, talk to you, or be around you unless its for Quidditch purposes. Because unlike you, I care about the people on the team. I'd quit if I didn't feel that I needed to be loyal to them. Them. Not you," Katie said, pushing past him and running from the common room.

    Katie ran down the flights of stairs and finally outside. Without her cloak, the cold air hit her chest and caused her lungs to gasp for air. But she kept running. She ran to her rock and climbed up on it. Hugging her knees to her chest, she cried. She vaguely felt snow falling softly into her hair and on her sweater. She looked up to the sky and let the snowflakes hit her face, mingling with her tears.

    'Why? Why is my life shit!" she screamed into the darkening sky.

    She dissolved into tears once more, beating at the rock she was sitting on with her fists. She stopped only when she hit a rough edge and felt the skin of her hand break apart. She felt lost and alone. She could freeze to death out there on that rock, and she knew no one would be the wiser. 'But then,' she thought as she heard footsteps approaching, 'things don't happen the way you want.' She didn't glance at who it was. She just didn't feel like dealing with anyone at the moment. She heard, more than saw, whoever the person was climb, with great difficulty, up onto the rock. She felt her cloak being pushed around her shoulders and looked up into the hazel eyes of Percy Weasley.

    "What are you doing out here, Perce?"

    "I could ask you the same thing," he said, sitting beside her, concern lacing his every word.

    "I come here to think."

    They sat there, neither one saying anything. Percy placed an arms around her and pulled her closer to him, in a botched attempt to warm her up.

    "Percy, just go back inside, ok? I'm not going back in there anytime soon."

    "Oh yes you will. You'll catch pneumonia out here, Kate. I'm not leaving until you decide to go back in, even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming," Percy said, that authoritative edge in his voice.

    Katie crossed her arms across her chest and looked out over the partially frozen lake. "Why did it have to come to that?"

    "You did right. I agree with you. And I think everyone else who witnessed that fight agrees with you too. Oliver was just- Well, Oliver was-"

    "-being Oliver?" Katie offered.

    "Exactly. Now that we understand each other, can we please go back up to the castle? I promise you can go right up to your dorm and no one will bother you," Percy said, trying to hide how cold he was.

    "You go Percy, I'll be along," Katie said, mocking sincerity.

    "You don't fool me, Kate, come on," Percy said standing.

    Katie looked up at him pleadingly. "Please Percy, I know you mean well, and thank you for the coat, but I need to be alone."

    Percy sat back down and reached out to brush off a snowflake that had landed on her cheek. "You are the best friend that I have on my intellectual level," he said smiling, and gaining a small smile from Katie, "And I care about you enough to know that if I leave you out here, you'll stay out here and catch a nasty cold from being both wet and cold. And I can't let you do that."

    Katie threw her arms around Percy's neck and hugged him tight. "I'm so lucky to have someone like you in my life," she said, burying her head in his shoulder.

    Percy didn't reply, but hugged her back just as tightly.

****

    The day came when students were leaving for the Christmas Holidays, and Katie was saddened that Percy was going home. But at least Lee and the twins were staying. And Alicia and Angelina always went home, so Katie would have the dormitory to herself. She smiled at that thought. She liked her solitude. She was walking down to the Great Hall to watch Harry and Ron play Wizard's Chess since she had nothing better to do, when someone grabbed her arm. She looked up and saw that the hand belonged to Oliver.

    "What? I have a chess match to attend," Katie said stubbornly.

    "I can't go home without talking to you," he said, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, "I'm not very good at apologies, but here it goes. You were right. I don't have any right be tell you what to do. And I was being selfish. I'm sorry."

    Katie looked at him, pretending to be impressed. "Bravo, Wood. You apologized. That's a first. But don't expect me to accept it."

    "Trouble in paradise," Marcus Flint said as he approached the two.

    "Bugger off, Marcus," Katie and Oliver said in unison.

    "Look Ol, I'm glad you know you were wrong. But saying it isn't enough. So, go on. Have a nice Christmas," Katie said shoving past Marcus and walking into the Great Hall.

    She shrugged off Oliver's apology. He just didn't want the guilt of him being wrong hanging over him during Christmas. As she approached Harry and Ron at the Gryffindor Table, she was stopped once more.

    "Hey Katie, I was looking for you. And I heard you were here to watch a chess match," Cedric said, grinning down at her, "So, uh, here. Happy Christmas," he said, pulling a plush bear out from behind his back.

    "Oh Cedric, you didn't have to get me that," she said, taking the bear from him, and noting that it was made out of a terry cloth fabric, "He's so soft! Oh, I love it. Thank you."

    "I just wanted to get you something to say 'thank you' for all the help you've given me with the tutoring. Flitwick just told that I passed my last test with full marks," Cedric said, a slight blush painting his cheeks.

    "Congratulations! I'm so proud of you," Katie said, standing on tip-toe to hug the taller boy, "I'm so glad I could help."

    "Me too." he said letting her go.

    Katie looked at her bear and back up at Cedric. "I didn't even think to get you anything."

    "Don't think on it. You don't have to. My A+ test for my dad is the best present you could have given me."

    Katie smiled and looked down at her bear again. "He looks like a Mikey. What do you think?"

    Cedric laughed. "Sounds good."

    "That's settled. My Mikey Bear," Katie said, smiling at Cedric again, "Thank you. It means a lot to me. I never got too many presents like this at home."

    "It's my pleasure," he said, and then glancing toward the doors of the Great Hall, looked down at her again, "I've got to go. Have a Happy Christmas, ok? Be happy. And take care of Mikey."

    Katie laughed. "I will. You have a good Christmas too."

    "I will. See you after New Years," he said, bending down and giving her one last hug, before walking out of the Great Hall.

    Katie walked over to the Gryffindor Table, hugging her Mikey Bear. Ron was highly amused by this.

    "What was all that about?"

    "You spying on me, Ron?"

    Ron rolled his eye and went on with his questioning. "He got you that? Why?"

    "Cause I helped him pass his test that’s why. Can't a guy get a girl a bear in a showing of thanks?" Katie said, sitting in the middle of the table.

    "No," both Harry and Ron said in unison before starting their game.

    Harry had just destroyed one of Ron's pawns, when Professor McGonagall walked by.

    "Miss. Bell, please do not sit on the table. That’s what those benches are for," she said sternly.

    "But then I have to choose a side. I prefer to wait in the middle, waiting to see who comes out victorious," Katie said proudly.

    "Benches, Miss. Bell. Now," McGonagall said, before walking toward the faculty table.

    Katie rolled her eyes. "Bah Humbug," she said before sliding off the table and sitting beside Ron.

    She figured this was a safe bet, considering Ron was a genius when it came to chess.