I Loved You More

Chapter #15

Right Again

Lily leaned her head heavily on her hand as she stared at the quill in her hand as though doing this would make it write the notes Professor Hennat had instructed them to take. Around her, the rest of the Ancient Runes class was scribbling away busily, glancing up periodically at the blackboard then back down to their notes.

Lily blinked and looked up at the board where Ancient Runes and their meanings were scrawled. Slowly, she wrote a word. She wiggled her quill mindlessly; her hand seemed to be becoming impatient with the slow pace of her brain. Lily watched the feather of the quill move in her hand. Summer glimpsed up briefly at Lily from her work and shot her a quizzical look. Lily didn't notice. Instead she let her head slide down leisurely to rest on her arm. Her swirling pen gradually stopped as Lily drifted from consciousness.

"Lily! Lily, wake up!" hissed Summer.

Lily opened her eyes reluctantly. It had felt nice to rest...

Summer was staring at her with concern and Professor Hennat was bending over her, gazing at her worriedly through a pair of thick lenses. Behind them, the class looked on with interest.

"Ms. Evans, are you feeling all right?" asked Hennat, frowning.

Her surroundings not really sunken in yet, Lily shook her head dazedly, not even lifting her head off her arm.

Hennat straightened and said, "Will somebody please escort Ms. Evans to the hospital wing?"

Summer stood up automatically but a loud voice spoke up from the back of the room.

"I'll take her, Professor!"

"Go on then, Mr. Potter," Hennat said, waving her hand absently and striding to the front of the class.

Summer scowled and sat down dejectedly. James jumped up from his seat with Sirius and sauntered over to Lily, wrapping a hand around her arm to help her to her feet. Summer raised her eyebrows at Lily expectantly, clearly waiting for her to protest. Lily ignored her carefully and allowed James to steer her out the door. Secretly, she was relieved that James was escorting her because she knew her best friend would ask unwanted questions about Lily's exhaustion and she was too tired to think up excuses.

On their way out, she heard some whispers among the class and knew that this arrangement was only feeding the ever-hungry gossip.

"Let them talk," said James quietly, causing Lily to stare at him. "What?" he asked after a moment.

Lily looked away.

How had he known what she was thinking? Did he really know her that well?

"Nothing," muttered Lily, deciding she was reading too far into it.

There was a short silence as they walked before James said, "All worn out from last night?"

"Yeah, I'm exhausted," replied Lily.

"Do you want to forget about the hospital wing and just go to your dorm so you can sleep?" asked James. "I'll cover for you in our next class. No one will know."

That was exactly what she wanted...to snuggle into her own four-poster. But this shot a horrified feeling through Lily.

"No, that would be skiving class," said Lily. "...Something I don't do."

"But you do sneak out after hours and spend the night with a couple of guys...and cheat out of detention...and hang out with a werewolf and a few illegal Animagi and steal potions?" asked James, turning to look at her with mock understanding.

"Enough, Potter," snapped Lily. "You think that just because you got me to do all those things once that I've suddenly turned into a Marauder. Well, I haven't...nor will I ever! Unlike you, I'm not proud of what I did and I don't go around bragging about it!"

"Evans, lighten up! Skiving off one time because you're too tired to lift your quill isn't going to do any harm!" said James. Then he placed his hand back on her arm. "Come on, just let me take you back to the Gryffindor Tower-"

"No! Stop telling me what to do, Potter!" spat Lily coldly, shaking him off. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you're so damn tired you're making problems that don't exist and a little shuteye will make you feel better," explained James, only causing her frustration to deepen.

There he went again, being right. Lily was not going to take this.

"Since when do you know what I need?" demanded Lily angrily. "That's not what I meant when I asked you why you're doing this. I meant why are you always...why are you always around? You know, I don't need you to take care of me."

"You didn't object when Moony was about to bite your head off," said James, his voice tingling mysteriously.

Lily peered at him and saw what she had suspected she had heard in his voice. His dimple stood out plainly in his left cheek and his mouth twitched.

How dare he?

"What is so funny?" Lily barked.

"Who's laughing?" asked James with pronounced ignorance.

"You're about to!"

"But...take note that I'm showing decency by restraining myself," James replied, holding up a finger.

Lily groaned with aggravation. "Not everything is a joke! You can't take anything seriously. You think all there is to life is flying around on your pricy broomstick, catching Snitches and impressing girls with your pranks on other defenseless people! Well, that's not all, Potter!"

"You're right."

"What?"

"Didn't hear clearly, Evans? I said 'you're right.' Isn't that what you want to hear?" James inquired.

"Yes but I don't want you to say it just because it's what I want to hear! I want you to know it," said Lily impatiently.

"But I do know it," countered James calmly. "You're right. I know that there's more to life than Quidditch and pranks."

"And girls," Lily reminded him.

"Perhaps..." James said thoughtfully. "But they're certainly a rather big part of it."

"Not the way you lead them all on just because they constantly tell you how wonderful you are," retorted Lily.

"Mmm...right again."

"Potter!"

"Evans?"

Lily didn't know how to respond to the way he was behaving. She had never had an argument where the other person agreed with everything she said.

"If...if you know I'm right, then why do you make Quidditch, pranks, and girls what your life's all about?" she finally asked.

James looked pensive for a moment while Lily waited for his answer, her arms folded across her chest irritably.

"Because it's fun."

Lily continued to stare at him in anticipation, expecting him to elaborate his explanation.

"Your destination, my lady," said James graciously, bowing.

Lily looked up. She had been so caught up in quarreling with James that she hadn't realized where they were going. She found herself face to face with the Fat Lady. James head led her straight to the Gryffindor Tower.

Lily glared at him before spinning on her heel and stalking off defiantly in the direction of the hospital wing without another word to her escort.

* * *

Lily stepped inside the hospital wing and glanced around. There was a boy lying on one of the beds, looking quite green and staring up at the ceiling and Lily noticed that Di and Evelyn's beds were empty. The only other area that looked occupied was in a secluded corner, the curtains drawn around it.

Madam Pomfrey came bustling out from behind it, shaking her head disapprovingly. She stopped when she saw Lily and said, "What's the matter with you?"

"I'm not feeling well...my professor sent me to get some rest," explained Lily.

The nurse nodded and pointed to a bed.

"Lie down. I'll tend to you in a minute," she said before disappearing into her office.

Lily eyed the office door cautiously before crossing the room and peering around the drawn curtain.

"Remus?" she whispered.

Remus turned his head to look at her from where he lay. Lily was shocked to see him so worn and tattered. There were dark shadows looming under his eyes and his skin was speckled in deep slashes and green and blue bruises. He seemed too exhausted to even slightly move his limbs.

"Lily?" he asked quietly in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Not important," replied Lily shortly. "How are you feeling? Are you all right?"

"Come here, I don't want anyone to hear..." he said in undertone.

Lily approached the bed and knelt down beside him.

"Lily...I'm really sorry...About everything I said to you. I was horrible. And last night, I could have killed you. If James hadn't-"

"No, Remus," Lily stopped him. "It was my fault for being foolish and following James and Sirius outside. I almost ruined everything you have...If I'd gotten hurt, your secret would have come out and all that work you've done to be normal would be wasted. And you wouldn't have gotten so beat up if it weren't for me...I'm so sorry."

Remus shook his head slowly.

"None of this was your fault, Lily. Wormtail let me out and I could have bitten anybody. I'm just disgusted at how I treated you after the prefect meeting. I'm not trying to excuse myself but let me explain..." he sighed and looked at her solemnly. "The day of the prefect meeting had been my brother's birthday. That day's always kind of rough for me, plus full moon was coming up and...I just wasn't myself. I never should have believed a word of that stupid rumor and everything I said...well, I'm sick with myself about it. I couldn't have acted like a bigger git."

Lily thought back to when she had raged about Remus to James in the prefect lounge and recalled James trying to tell her that Remus was going through a tough time. In her fury, Lily hadn't given it a thought but now she wished she had listened to him and mentally kicked herself for being so blind and self-centered. It was getting really irritating how James was right all that time.

She smiled kindly at Remus, an intense sympathy for him was beginning to build inside her. He had such a difficult life and she had contributed in making even harder. Lily cursed her temper.

"Remus, let's just forget about the whole thing. I never want to think about that rumor again. As for last night, well, no permanent damage was done -thank goodness- so we don't need to worry about it,' she said as brightly as she could.

"Yeah, Madam Pomfrey will have me fixed up as quick as a wink...she always does. Fortunately James and Sirius got there to hold me back in time so nothing too horrible happened," said Remus, smiling back at her.

Lily hid a guilty face with another beaming smile.

She was already ashamed of her little unreasonable outburst at James especially after her had saved her life. She didn't want to admit it but she couldn't stand the fact that James knew her so well. It made her nervous. How could he learn to understand her after such a short time of being friends? Even the day of the lake and the prefect meeting he had known just what she needed...and why she was acting the way she had.

Was she really that easy to figure out?

Lily didn't want all her thoughts and feelings to be known and comprehended. She wouldn't be able to take it...being that exposed to someone. To top it all off, James behaved so arrogantly about it, like it was a simple matter and she was stupid for not understanding herself.

Exposure wasn't the only thing that her friendship with Potter had come to cost her. In the time span of five days it had landed her more trouble and stress than she had ever experienced in her life.

It's not worth it.

Lily gave Remus a gentle, brief hug.

"I have to go before Madam Pomfrey comes back," she whispered, rising and returning to the bed the nurse had appointed her.

She lay down and her eyelids drooped heavily, closing with relief, more than willing to rest and allow sleep to envelope her and her worries into a peaceful oblivion.

Then she felt someone's presence hovering over her bed.

She forced her eyes open and blinked them into focus so that the forms of Summer and Tara became clear. They were casually looking around for something and did not notice Lily staring up at them.

"Why aren't you in class?" asked Lily, and their heads snapped around to face her.

"You're awake!" said Tara.

"Madam Pomfrey said you have been sleeping since you got here- classes are over. It's almost time for our detentions," explained Summer patiently. "Are you all right?"

Lily blinked again as she tried to get her brain working to process this information. It was an odd feeling; thinking that scarcely a minute had passed when in reality, it had been hours. It took a few moments to adjust.

"Lily?" asked Summer, her eyebrows raised creating an expression of mixed expectation and concern. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Yes...I'm fine. Blimey, I can't believe how long I was sleeping..." said Lily dazedly. "I'm bloody starving."

"Are you sure? Why were you so tired?" asked Tara.

"Had trouble sleeping last night," replied Lily, looking around distractedly and observing that Remus' bed was now empty. Then she sat up and ran her hands through her hair to collect herself. "Can we go to dinner now?"

"I suppose if it's quick...and if Madam Pomfrey lets you," said Summer.

As though on cue, the nurse bustled over at that moment and looked down at Lily approvingly.

"My, you slept for ages, dear. You still aren't looking too well. Do you want me to fetch you some Pepperup Potion?" she asked.

"No, thank you," said Lily, standing up to prove she felt fine. "I just want to go to dinner and get something to eat."

"Alright, go on then. I suppose you're well enough after such a long rest," Madam Pomfrey said rather sternly, turning to go attend to the pale boy across the room.

"Madam Pomfrey," said Summer, and she stopped and looked around. "Can you tell us where Diana Kendel and her sister are?"

Madam Pomfrey's face softened considerably and she tilted her head to one side.

"Are you girls friends of hers?"

"Yes, and we know about the, uh, attack," Summer said tentatively.

"Dreadful, isn't it?" Madam Pomfrey replied sadly. "The girls have gone to stay with some relatives to attend their parents' funeral and get their affairs in order. They won't be back till next week or later."

"Thank you," said Summer softly and the three girls exited the hospital wing. "We have to hurry if you want to get a bite to eat. We don't have much time before detention."

They broke into a fast walk in the direction of the Great Hall. However, because of the scene that met their eyes when they rounded the corner, they got too distracted to have time for dinner.

In the middle of the corridor was a large cluster of students, appearing to be mainly comprised of girls. They were gathered around something that judging by the way they were all laughing, was very entertaining.

Lily, Summer, and Tara moved closer and looked in over a few girls' shoulders and the source of amusement became plain at once. Four boys, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were in the center of the group, standing in front of a fifth...Severus Snape.

Remus was looking fully mended and healthy again though he seemed rather tired of his surroundings. He simply looked on as James dangled Snape's wand above him, just out of his reach, occasionally tossing it to Sirius to let him take over. Peter was laughing ridiculously hard while throwing in a few comments every so often, trying unsuccessfully to make the swarming girls notice him. Snape was jumping around between James and Sirius, yelling curses and insults as he attempted to seize his wand.

A great feeling of exasperation crept into Lily at James and Sirius' lack of maturity but she remained quiet.

"Prongs...cut it out, mate," said Remus drearily.

"Aw, come on, Moony. We're all just having a bit of fun with Snivelly here. His britches are always so knotted up...He needs some loosening up!"

"Potter! Give me my wand or I'll...I'll..." shouted Snape furiously.

"What are you going to do, Snivellus?" asked Sirius smugly as he caught Snape's wand and lazily started twirling it. "Hex us?"

The girls around him giggled wildly as though they were at some sort of circus.

Snape's lip curled into a hideous snarl.

"You-you blood traitor!" Snape screamed, quivering with rage. "Scum! You are a shame to all purebloods!"

Sirius yawned widely.

"Oh, hush, Snivelly. Don't hurt yourself," he sighed.

"Okay, that's enough," said Remus, reaching over Snape's head and plucking the wand from Sirius' hand. Sirius merely shrugged as Snape whirled around to glare at Remus.

"Give me that!" barked Snape, snatching his wand away angrily.

"Manners, Snivellus," said Remus, wiping his hands on his robes with an air of disgust.

James and Sirius snickered.

Snape's face suddenly twisted into a sneer. "Manners? Fine...Would you please tell me why you missed classes again today?"

Lily leaned forward to look from Remus to James to Sirius, watching them nervously.

Remus' cool expression faltered slightly. James and Sirius didn't move but eyed Snape alertly and most of the girls seemed confused.

"I was sick in the hospital wing," answered Remus quietly.

"Just like last month, right?" said Snape, getting excited. "And the month before that? It's rather odd how you-"

Snape's mouth continued moving but his voice was cut off. Lily saw that James' wand was raised.

"I think we're all sick of hearing you talk," he said nonchalantly. "Why don't you run off and take a shower or something? Merlin knows you need one."

Snape clenched his fists and tried to yell a curse to send at James but the Silencing Charm stopped it from working properly and nothing except a few weak sparks wheezed from the end of his wand. He stomped his foot in frustration while the girls laughed.

Snape spun around and began to march away only to have Sirius shoot a Trip Jinx his way, causing him to fall flat on his stomach and drop his bag, scattering all his belongings across the floor. Snape scurried to gather his things before dashing out of sight.

Lily watched with abhorrence as the girls doubled over with amusement. None of them noticed Sirius bend down to pick up a piece of worn blank parchment that had fluttered out of Snape's bag when he fell.

"What is going on here?" Professor McGonagall came into view as she entered the corridor from the opposite end and same hustling over to investigate the source of disruption. "Come now, get along to where you need to be! Enough loitering!"

The crowd of girls hurried away, many of them waving coquettishly to James and Sirius. Lily was about to leave with Summer and Tara but McGonagall beckoned to her.

"You four..." she said, indicating Lily, Summer, James and Sirius. "I believe it's time for your detentions."

Lily groaned inwardly and muttered a "see you later" to Tara before following McGonagall.