I Loved You More

First posted: August 5, 2004

Suggested music: "You Can't Always Get What You Want"

By the Rolling Stones

Chapter Three

Black Encounters

Halloween was drawing nearer. The air became wonderfully brusque, the leaves colored, homework stacked ever higher, and the students grew steadily excited about the first Hogsmeade trip on the last day of October.

"Whacha reading?" asked James, flinging himself into the chair next to Lily, who sat buried in a book one dreary Saturday afternoon.

She made no acknowledgment of his presence and continued to stare at the pages, though her focus had shifted elsewhere. Much too accustomed to this treatment to mind, James persisted.

"How would you like the honor of coming with me to Hogsmeade?" He leaned toward her and propped an elbow on her armrest, grinning cheekily at her. The only response he got was Lily shifting in her chair so that her back was turned toward him.

"Oh, come off it, Evans. I don't bite, you know," he said. He scooted his own chair around so that he was directly in from of her again.

"At least not too hard," piped up Sirius, stepping off the boys' dormitory stairs. "Still desperately trying to win over Ms. Evans, are we, Prongs?" He plopped himself down on to the floor and took some books out of his bag. "I hate to say it, but you're getting pathetic."

"Nah, she's the one who's been begging me to go out with her. I was just breaking it to her lightly," said James. He rolled his eyes and shot a hand through his hair. "She can't keep her hands off me."

Lily was about to set this statement right when Sirius replied. "Yeah, I think she'll finally crack one day and beat you to the ground. Best watch your step, Prongs." He chuckled and James laughed too.

Lily doubted whether James would have allowed anyone but Sirius to get away with that. She had never known a pair quite like them. Of course, she had good friends...But the two laughing boys in front of her shared an uncommon bond, more natural than brotherhood. Even Lily, partly blinded by her hatred, could see that.

"So what do you say, Evans?" asked James. "You and me in Hogsmeade? Firewhiskey is optional."

Lily slammed her book shut. She didn't care what type of friend he was, enough was enough. "No! A thousand times, NO!" she cried.

Sirius fell back onto the floor, laughing.

* * *

"Lily! Hurry up!" Summer's voice echoed up the staircase.

Lily dashed down the stairs to join Summer, Tara, and Di, who were waiting for her in the common room. She had slept in a little late that morning.

They linked arms and ambled away together, chatting blissfully as they exited the school and crossed the grounds with the other students on their way to the village, looking forward to a day free of schoolwork. And it was a perfect one for a Hogsmeade trip. The sun was bright and warm as it shot waves of radiant light over the lake. A crisp breeze lifted everyone's spirits with the rustling leaves that whirled around them in the autumn air.

The girls visited all the little shops that lined High Street then headed to the Three Broomsticks to talk over four steaming mugs of Butterbeer.

"So, Potter asked you to come to Hogsmeade with him?" askedTara, watching Lily closely. "There are loads of girls who would kill to be in you place. He really fancies you."

"Rubbish. The only person he fancies is himself," scoffed Lily.

"You are a bit hard on him, Lils," said Summer. "He's tries so hard with you. He only wants to be your friend."

"What? You're taking his side?" asked Lily, her eyes widening with incredulity. "He needs to grow up before I have anything to do with him...especially if that's him trying hard! I've never met anyone so arrogant!"

"Okay, okay! Don't flare up at me! I'm not taking his side, you dolt. I was just saying..."

"I know," mumbled Lily, annoyed at herself for getting riled up about Potter again. "Sorry. Just talking about him makes me angry."

"We know," said Tara. "You've only told us, what, a million times?" Then, seeing the sharp look she received from Lily, she added, "Not that I'm suggesting anything!"

"Are you lot done with your Butterbeers?" cut in Di. "How about a walk up to the Shrieking Shack?"

Glad to end the conversation, they left the pub, walked to the edge of the village, and hiked up a steep hill where they sat down to rest on a boulder overlooking Hogsmeade.

They had been sitting there for less than ten minutes when they heard voices from down the slope. A moment later, three girls came marching into view. When they saw that they weren't alone, they immediately stopped talking.

Lily recognized all three of them at once. They were the seventh-year Slytherin girls who had never mixed well with any of the Gryffindors.

The first girl, Nolminta Meliflua, was chubby with squinted dark eyes. Walking beside her was Delilah Avery, a short, scrawny girl with white blonde hair and a long, pointed nose. The third girl had thick, shiny dark hair and heavy-lidded eyes. Her name was Bellatrix Black. She sneered at Lily, Summer, Tara, and Di and began to speak in a high-pitched, leering voice.

"What are you doing here?"

"We have just as much of a right to be here as you do," said Summer coldly.

"You three might," she said, her eyes grazing over Summer, Tara, and Di. "But Evans doesn't belong here and never will."

"And why is that?" demanded Tara, raising her eyebrows.

"Because she's not a witch. She's just a filthy rotten mudblood," she spat, throwing a disgusted look at Lily. "You think you're all that because you're Head Girl who somehow wormed her way to the top of the class but to those of us who know the value of pure blood, you're nothing more than a worthless piece of scum."

Lily felt Summer, Tara, and Di stiffen next to her and snatch their wands in her defense. They began to yell, outraged, but Lily cut them off.

"I'd much rather be a 'mudblood' than a horrible, stuck-up, pureblooded Slytherin like you," she said, the inherent spirit she'd been born with speaking for her. "And I couldn't care less about what people who 'know the value pure blood' think of me."

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes and took a step closer. "If you were smart as you think you are, you'd start caring and stop acting like you own the place. You'd keep your head down and quit drawing attention to yourself," she hissed in an oddly knowing way. "If you don't, you're gonna wish you had soon. I can promise you that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll see. Things are going to start changing and mudbloods are first on the list. So I'd watch your back, Evans," said Bellatrix mysteriously.

Lily glared back but didn't answer.

"What are you on about?" asked Tara, looking at Bellatrix as though she was mad.

"As if I'd tell you goody-goodies. You're all so naïve," she replied smugly. "Don't worry. You'll find out soon enough."

"Whatever you say, Black," said Tara dryly, turning away. "Come on, let's go."

Lily, Summer, and Di followed her down the winding path. Lily glanced back and saw Bellatrix watching them leave with her arms folded and her lips muttering something to Nolminta and Delilah.

"Do you think she actually meant something back there?" asked Lily, after they had put some a distance between themselves and the three Slytherins.

"No way," assured Tara. "She's just jealous of you, Lil. She's always been full of shit."

"I dunno," said Di, who had quietly observed the exchange. "There have been rumors going around about groups of people holding meetings to plot dark magic. The Black family is known to be into that kind of stuff. Someone could have told her and--"

"I highly doubt it, Di," interrupted Summer. "If it's something big like that, I don't think Bellatrix would be told so that she can go around bragging about it. And anyway, little Dark Arts clubs are always making threats against Muggleborns. The Ministry will clear it up in no time. Don't think on it, Lily."

Lily nodded but wasn't totally convinced. Something told her there was something more than rebellious little clubs making threats behind what Bellatrix Black had said.

"If you really want to be sure, Lily, you can ask Sirius," suggested Di, who seemed to have noticed Lily's uncertainty. She pointed down the busy little road. "He is part of the Black family after all and he's coming this way now."

Sure enough, Sirius and James were strolling down the middle of the road just ahead. Remus and Peter followed--along with a large group of loud, chattering girls fawning over the two leaders.

It made Lily sick. What was it about those rude, egotistical boys that other girls loved? She for one, would never understand it. Remus didn't seem to either. He didn't look like was enjoying their company and poor Peter looked like a fish out of water. Remus walked along the edge of the crowd, looking annoyed at the girls, who shrieked with laughter at everything James and Sirius said, whether funny or not.

The latter, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, they were clearly basking in the attention. Sirius kept a sleek, casual attitude, as though he was used to a swarm of adoring girls tagging along with him everywhere--which, Lily reflected, he probably was. Girls had been treating them like celebrities since first year and it had gotten worse since James made captain. James should have been used to it too, but he flirted shamelessly back.

Suddenly, he caught sight of Lily and her friends and his hand, which had been making elaborate gestures as he told some joke, jumped to his hair. His audience looked to see the source of the distraction. When they saw Lily, they all scowled. Lily didn't notice. She waved politely at them, as they were all friendly with her when James wasn't around....Funny how that worked.

"Sirius! Sirius Black!" Tara yelled over the crowd.

He turned to see who had called his name. She motioned for him to come over. He grinned and walked to meet them.

"What do you want, m'dear?" he asked brightly.

"We want to talk to you about something your lovely cousin said to us a few minutes ago," she answered.

James, making sure his hair was at its messiest, made his way over, apparently forgetting that he still had finished telling the girls his joke, even though they were now struggling loudly to keep his attention. Remus and Peter followed him, Remus casting a warm smile at Lily.

"My cousin? When did you see Andy?" asked Sirius, referring to Andromeda, Bellatrix's older sister, a Gryffindor who had graduated the year before.

"No....It was Bellatrix."

"Who?" He squinted and looked up to the sky, as though racking his memory. "Hmm...must be some sort of mistake. I'm related to no one named Bellatrix."

He glanced around and smiled absently at the gang of girls, who were growing impatient. Then he looked back at Tara, waiting for her response.

He was so calm, as he stood there pretending not to know Bellatrix that even though Lily knew the truth, she was almost convinced. She knew he didn't speak to his family and wouldn't even admit they were related, with the exception of Andy, of course. Lily didn't quite understand why he seemed to hate them. She and Sirius had never really had an actual conversation.

Lily looked around, scrutinizing each face. Remus was watching Sirius cautiously and Peter seemed uncomfortable, even nervous, about the way things were going. James, on the other hand, wore an expression of pure ignorance, just like Sirius's. Confused, Lily looked closer. His eyes caught hers and she saw a hint of sadness in them before she turned away. Di and Summer exchanged significant glances but Tara didn't flinch as she peered up at Sirius.

"Well, then," she said carefully, after an extended pause. "Do you to know of any Bellatrix who happens to have the same last name as you?"

Sirius looked down at her sharply, then smiled. Everyone seemed to relax.

"Let's see. Bellatrix Black...hideous evil Slytherin? Yes, I suppose I know who you mean, come to think of it. What about her?"

"We were...talking...and she told us some things that we weren't exactly sure what to make of," she answered, before explaining everything that Bellatrix had said at the Shrieking Shack.

"She called you a WHAT?!" bellowed James, turning on Lily.

Sirius didn't look happy either. A frown settled into his brooding face until James broke his reverie when he suddenly stalked off.

"Prongs, where are you going, mate?" Sirius called after him. He wore a small smile, as though he already knew the answer.

"To go hex that bitch, of course," he said heatedly.

Lily's eyes flashed dangerously. "I don't need you to take care of me, Potter!" she spat. "So please contain your manliness for the girls over there--I'm quite capable of handling my own business."

James stopped. "Yes, I'd forgotten. You are very capable, aren't you?" He smiled, all remnants of his rampage vanishing and returned to Sirius's side.. "That's what I like about you, Evans."

Lily eyed him suspiciously, surprised at his willingness to cooperate for once.

"Anyway, Sirius, do you think Bellatrix meant anything by that?" persisted Summer. "Lily's a little worried, is all."

Sirius turned to Lily with a sigh. "I don't think it's anything, but your guess is as good as mine. That troll always wants to look like she knows more than everyone else. She's probably bluffing. I wouldn't recommend losing sleep over it."

"All right. Just checking," said Lily, embarrassed at the scene she had caused.

"Well now, must be getting back." He nodded his head at the irritated girls he'd left waiting.

He paused as though giving them a chance to convince him to stay, before shooting them a wink and spinning around to saunter back to his fan club. Peter trailed after him, like a faithful dog and his master.

"Yes...duty calls," grinned James. He tipped an imaginary hat and walked away.

Lily watched as the girls jumped up and down around him in welcome, enclosing him safely back into their crowd. She identified one of them as Mina St. Clair, a ridiculous blonde who played for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. She gave James's hair a little rumple, much to Lily's displeasure.

Lily turned away in revulsion and looked at Remus, who hadn't rejoined his friends.

"Aren't you gonna go off with them?" she asked.

"I don't think so." He rolled his eyes shyly. "I guess their just not my type. I mean, if it's all right, I'd like to stay with you instead."

Lily beamed.

"Sure!" she exclaimed, turning to her friends, who all nodded. "That'd be great. Want to go to Honeydukes?"

"Thanks a lot," said Remus, smiling. He turned to call back to the rest of the Marauders. "I'll see you lot later!"

Sirius and Peter waved indifferently but James shot him a quizzical look and stared as his friend walked away with Lily.

Remus ignored this, a pang of guilt forming in his conscience. It quickly vanished when Lily smiled kindly at him as they entered the candy store--that stunning smile that danced in her eyes. What business did James have, making him feel like a traitor for wanting to be around Lily? After all, she was certainly not his girlfriend. Anyone could see that was never going to happen. James was the one frolicking around in the company of half the girls in their year. He couldn't have them all.

But, try as he might to justify himself, Remus the tiny stab of guilt persisted. He had an odd, inexplicable gut feeling that he was disturbing something...Something big. Something he couldn't understand.

Something destined to happen.