I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

Dear Harry,

Thank you for the journal. It means a lot to me that you still want to continue writing to me and share what you're feeling. Don't worry, I trust you enough to know you wouldn't bring any sort of magical journal into the house even though I'm totally over that episode in my life.

And as for your bed, are you flirting with me Mr.Potter? But yes, you can trust me to behave myself near your bed. Now IN your bed is something else altogether different. But we'll leave that for our wedding night. I'm sorry but I can't help but giggle at the look I'm imagining on your face right now. I imagine it's one of sheer consternation and frustration that this silly girl just won't take a hint.

Well guess what Harry, I've got the hint. You're not interested. Not today. And to answer your question from the last letter you wrote. I don't know if I was being serious about Dean or not. He did ask if he could write me this summer and he has been. But it hasn't progressed past exchanging pleasantries and chit-chat. So I don't know what will happen. Please don't tell me you have a problem with me being friendly with Dean. I get enough of that from Ron and it's getting stale. But for what it's worth, after reflecting on it for the last few weeks since we've been home, I don't think I'm as interested in him as I thought I was, at least not in THAT way.

Of course, if you had a reason for me not to be close with Dean, I'd be willing to listen to what you have to say. But I know right now that you don't, so I'll stop pestering about it. I know you're angry enough at everything else, you don't need me adding fuel to the fire. At least not on something you feel is so inconsequential as my love life. But back to you being upset.

You're angry and upset. Upset at Sirius, upset about Sirius, upset at Dumbledore, upset about Dumbledore, upset at me, upset about what I did and the fact you found yourself here not because you belong here but because of the letter you wrote. Yes, I showed it to my parents and they showed it to Dumbledore. I think mum was on the verge of sending him a howler if he didn't let you come stay here.

Yes, he explained to us the protection you're afforded with your aunt and uncle because they're your family. But we want to take the risk Harry. There isn't one of us who doesn't think you're worth the risk. No, not the Boy-Who-Lived, and not He-Who-Defeated-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-With-A-Canary-Cream. I think it would make the twins day to learn you think their pranks are so potent. But you're worth it Harry because you're Harry. Plain old ordinary Harry, and that's why we think you're worth it.

Now, as to why I think you're worth it is something else altogether different. You're the boy who's handsome and brave and modest and angry and moody and temperamental. You're the boy who rescued me when he didn't know a thing about me. You're the boy who took a crazed madman's word that he was your godfather and stopped him from killing Peter Pettigrew even though you knew he betrayed your parents.

You're the boy who never said an unkind word when his best friends were named prefect over him. You're the boy who never scoffed that I could be the seeker on the Gryffindor quidditch team. You're the boy who took a lifetime quidditch ban to defend my family's honor.

You're every kind thing I've wished I could be and doubt I'll ever be. Even after the letter I wrote you, you still took the time to get this journal and have Professor Lupin enchant it so only we can read it.

(And yes, I can't see calling him by his first name either. He tried getting me to stop calling him Professor Lupin last year, but I just couldn't do it. I'm also glad to hear you've been talking with him. I suppose things have been just as difficult for him as they have been for you.)

But after everything I've done to you this summer, every word I've written, every unkind tone I've put into my words, you're still writing back. Thank you for that Harry.

I wish I could say it's ok to be angry Harry, but to be honest, I've never had to deal with everything you're dealing with and it would be unfair for me to say I totally understand what you're feeling. So I'll just say I don't think anything less of you for it. However, it would be nice if you spent less time shouting at your friends and more time letting us in. Or at least finding more productive ways to let your feelings out.

That was a hint in case you missed it. Of course, you had the brilliant idea to bring this journal with you, so I guess it would be unfair for me to drop a hint. If you need to take your feelings out on me, I'll be here to take them in.

Just be careful Harry. I love you with all my heart, but I can't swear how much I can take in before I find myself collapsing under the strain. We all love you, but we can only take so much angst and anger before we start snapping back out of irritation that you're being so repetitive with your outbursts. I mean, we know you're angry, but do you know that we love you? Yes, some of us have strange ways of showing you, but it's true.

How many servings does mum heap on your plate when we sit down to eat? How many pickup games of quidditch have we played in the field out back? How many pranks have the twins tried to play on you since you've been here? How many language lessons with Fleur has Bill given up to spend his evenings here so he could bore you to death with stories from when he was at school? How many games of chess have you played with Ron? Ok, that's yet again a bad example, that boy has chess on the brains, more the pity for Hermione's sake.

I'm tempted to lock the two of them in the attic with the family ghoul, just to get a reaction out of them one way or another. Think it would work? Bah, just call me Ginny Weasley, Patron Saint of Lost and Hopeless Causes. Maybe I should take up Hermione's S.P.E.W campaign, I'd probably have more luck with that then with the three of you and sorting out all your problems.

You know, I met Dobby last year at school. Surprisingly I couldn't sleep after an incredibly boring astronomy lesson and was doing some light reading in the common room when I saw him appear. That poor elf, first he was Malfoy's servant, and now he has to clean all of Gryffindor Tower by himself because of Hermione and her knitting. None of the other elves will come near the place. The poor thing, it made me want to strangle Hermione, but I figured that would just give Umbridge an excuse to write Educational Decree 12,897: No Student Will Act Out Their Aggression In A Manner Similar to Harry Potter, as well as Educational Decree 12,898: If It Feels Good, Stop.

I have an idea, Educational Decree 12899: Hey Umbridge, Go Kiss a Blast-End Skrewt! Or how about Educational Decree 12900: Use of the phrase "Hem Hem" will result in the Hogwarts High Inquisitor being forced to snog Peeves. Hmm, maybe not that last one, it might be considered cruel and unusual treatment of a poltergeist. Nah, he wouldn't mind a bit, probably follow her through the castle waiting for her to open her flabby little mouth.

Anyway, I've probably spoken enough of my mind for now to give you enough to think about as you cool off after Ron beats you at chess yet again. Merlin knows why you keep playing him, if you aren't careful, it will give you a complex. Ah, there's Ron now giving up a yell for beating you again. I'm going to put this on your bed, then rub my body all over the covers and pillows and leave my scent all over your room then run out of the room before you get back. NO. Bad Ginny, you rub yourself all over Harry and then...Ha ha, got you again I'll bet. Maybe I'll go challenge you to a game of quidditch to take your mind off of your wonderful game of chess so you won't be so infuriated when you read this.

Ginny.

Ginny closed the journal, spoke the word sealing it to everyone but Harry and then took it into his room and left it on his bed for him to see. As she turned around to leave, she saw him standing in the doorway. She jerked her head to the journal and saw him nod in acknowledgement. She invited him for a round of quidditch in the paddock to which he said he would be happy to join in after lunch. With a firm nod, Ginny left the room and proceeded downstairs to the kitchen.

Dear Ginny,

Thanks for that workout in the paddock, it was actually quite refreshing, especially after the rain started coming down. It helped cool me down, and not just from the sweat I'd worked up flying around.

Yes, I definitely need a new strategy when it comes to playing chess with Ron. Maybe one of these days you and I could sit down and play a few rounds? I mean, you're not trying to sucker me in so you can slaughter my chess pieces like Ron does, are you? Nah, I trust you. You didn't go near my bed except to put the journal on it when you were in here earlier. Thank you. And no I wasn't flirting with you Miss Weasley, wherever would you get that idea? Maybe from that demented mind that made you decide you could play seeker on the Gryffindor House team. Well guess what Miss Weasley, it didn't work, I'd already noticed you long before that.

Yes, I noticed you the first time I was going to Hogwarts and you and your mum helped me get onto the platform. You even ran after the train waving. I always thought you were waving to your brothers, but I realize now you were waving to me as well. I also noticed you when I stayed at the Burrow for the fist time and you came into the kitchen, saw me sitting at the table, squeaked and promptly ran out of the room. So there! Or did you forget the butter dish incident?

I like the Educational Decrees you came up with for Umbridge. My hand still hurts from the detentions she gave me. I don't know if you had to sit with her at all, but she's got this nasty little quill that...well, it isn't a pleasant thing to encounter at all. Maybe you should write a letter to Dumbledore asking for the position. He'd probably give it to you seeing the excellent work you've done with me the last few weeks. Ha ha ha, Harry Potter made a funny.

I never said I had a good reason why you shouldn't be with Dean. All things considered, he's a nice guy and a good friend. But whether I have a good reason or not is irrelevant. I said I couldn't be with anyone right now because of everything that's going on. It's not my place to tell you who you should or shouldn't date Ginny. Except for myself that is. Maybe one day Ginny, I'll have the strength to see beyond what I have to do, and the time to dream about a future with someone, maybe even you. But for now I can't possibly put anyone through the nightmare of loosing the person they care for. I can't put myself through the possibility of loosing another person I care about. And I do care Ginny, I know I've said and done so many things to the contrary and they're all true. But don't think for an instant I don't care.

It's difficult for me to put some of my emotions into words Ginny. It's not like I have a lot of experience with love. Before I met Ron and Hermione, I never knew what it was like to have a friend. And lets face it, they have trouble enough keeping the peace between themselves for five minutes, so I'm not counting on them to break their streak of honestly opening up to me anytime soon. They can't even open up to themselves.

And you know what it's like with my aunt and uncle. I can't say they've ever offered me any kind of real affection. I don't even remember when I found out when my birthday was, not that they ever celebrated it. I can't remember ever getting any comfort from them. Your mum is the only person to ever act like a parent towards me, but not completely. Remember last year when Ron and Hermione got named prefects? Yeah, I was jealous, horribly jealous. But I decided if I couldn't be happy for myself, I could at least be happy for my best friends. It still hurt though that they got a party for being named prefect and I didn't get much of anything at all when I got cleared of those charges by the Ministry. Your mother even told you and the twins to shut up when you were cheering me on. A little bit of something would have been nice right about then.

I know I'm getting depressed again, but I can't help it Ginny. It's so hard going on sometimes. It'd be nice to be acknowledged even for the smallest, most trivial thing in the world but I guess I'm just being selfish asking for something like that. It's hard not letting the hurt get to me, but I suppose it could be worse, but honestly, aside from being stuck back at the Dursleys, I really can't see how that's possible.

Anyway, I'll stop this rambling mess now so I don't demoralize you to the point you can't get any sleep. Maybe tomorrow you can help me out with some chess strategies, I'd really like to improve my game just a little bit, and accomplish something worthwhile this summer.

Harry

Harry closed the journal and sealed it before going downstairs and handing the journal to Ginny before heading into the kitchen for dinner.