A Different Life

Chapter Three

Closer to the Truth than You Think

'Will I really need to bring all of this to school, Anna?' Severus sighed as he looked down at the long sheet of paper in front of him. 'There's so much of it!'

Anna looked over Severus' shoulder examining the list thoughtfully then nodded. 'I'm afraid it looks that way,' she said with a slight frown.

'I still have half a year before I start Eton, why do we have to get all this now? This could take all day!' he groaned in frustration, kicking at the leg of the table he was sitting at.

'Severus don't kick,' Anna admonished and reached over to pick up the list. 'You father doesn't like to wait until the last moment, you know that. Besides, most of this we can get down at St. James and Bond Streets, so it shouldn't take that long.'

'St. James?' Severus asked, perking up slightly. 'If we are going that way, can we go to the Royal Mews? Or Tate's?' he asked hopefully.

Anna chuckled and ruffled Severus' hair. 'We'll see if we have the time, but only if you stop fussing about getting your school supplies and go get ready.'

'Yes!' Severus grinned as he jumped up from his seat and sped off to get dressed.

Several hours later after the limousine's boot was already laden down with uniforms and supplies, the two had a chance to rest. 'So, where shall it be today, Severus?'

Severus thought things over carefully. 'Can we go to Madame Tussaud's? I heard they added a new exhibit ... oh please can we go, Anna?'

Anna thought about the request for a moment, hiding a grin best she could as she made her "decision". Finally, she sighed dramatically and threw her arms up in frustration, then pressed a button on the door. 'Robert?'

'Yes?' a young man's voice came over the intercom.

'The young Master has a request --'

'Madame Tussaud's, Robert, and step on it as they say in the films!' Severus said.

The chauffer laughed. 'To Madame's it is then, Master Severus,' he said jovially then the intercom went silent.

'Well that's that,' Severus grinned cheekily.

'You're too brash and bold for you own good sometimes, that's what you are, Severus Snape,' Anna scoffed, though a smile on her face showed she wasn't angry in the least. 'You'll have to learn you can't always have your way though, luv.'

Severus sat back and shrugged, clearly not worried about such a thing. 'I don't see why not, I am father's son after all, and he always gets his way, why shouldn't I,' he said indifferently.

Anna looked at his sharply, trying not to sigh in frustration. The Earl's attempts to harden his son through his tutor's teachings had worked, and in Anna's mind not all for the better. It was hard to see the sweet, adoring child she'd raised turning into the indifferent eleven year old boy he was becoming now. Not that she could say anything of course, it wasn't her place, but the day of reckoning that marked Severus' first day at Eton was approaching, and Anna knew when it did she would lose her innocent little boy, probably forever. Still, she clung to the small hope that Severus would not grow up to be like his cold father, but would somehow remain like his dear mother had been.

'There's more to life than just being a braggart and the son of an Earl, Severus. If you want to make friends at school you'll have to learn that,' Anna said in rebuke.

'I don't want to make friends at school,' Severus muttered. 'I don't want to go to school at all.'

'Well you don't have much of a choice,' Anna said, her gaze on her young charge softening a bit. 'I wouldn't worry about such things now, Severus. Who knows, by the end of the term you might have more friends than you'll know what to do with.'

'I doubt that highly, Anna,' Severus said, his gaze now wandering towards the window in contemplation. Suddenly he sat up straight, his gaze riveted to something out in the street as they came to a stop. 'Anna, look! Do you see that?' he asked excitedly.

Anna looked out the window then back at Severus. 'See what, Severus?'

'Those people coming out of that doorway over there ... look how oddly they're dressed ...' Severus said in awe.

Anna looked again. 'Severus, what people? I don't see what you're talking about. Oh, wait, you mean that bloke in the bowler hat over by the bookshop?'

'No, Anna!' Severus said in exasperation. 'I mean those people in the funny clothes! The man and woman ... over there ...' he said pointing off the side. 'Oh come on, Anna, they're standing right by that black doorway ... don't you see them?'

'No, Severus, I don't see then, nor do I see any black doorways. Now stop daydreaming, hmm? I think too many odd stories for you last night,' she said shaking her head. 'I thought you wanted to go to Madame Tussaud's, not sit here daydreaming.'

'I do ... but ... oh ... all right,' Severus sighed and sat back as the limousine moved forwards and the whole scene vanished from his sight. 'Maybe I was seeing things ...'

'No doubt, it's awful hot out there today; perhaps you're having some sort of heat spell. Should we skip going to the Museum and go home?' Anna asked worriedly.

'No!' Severus said quickly, 'No, I'm fine, besides we're already here,' he said excitedly, the odd things he'd seen moments before slipping from his mind. 'Oh I can't wait to see the new exhibit!'

Anna grinned then reached into her wallet and pulled out a small coin purse. 'Here, Severus, take this. I'm not up for a long walk through the Museum today. You go on, and when you're done you wait for us right here. We'll pick you up in two hours, all right?'

Severus nodded and took the coin purse, then scampered out of the car the moment the door was opened for him. 'See you in two hours!' he called out as he made his way into the Museum.

Severus paid his admission then eagerly began to wander off. He was in such a hurry to get to the new exhibit, however, that he ran smack dab into something, or rather someone. Severus got up quickly and brushed himself off then looked down at the person he'd run into. To his surprise, it was boy roughly the same age, though there was an air about him that was unusual. Without even thinking about the fact the boy was a stranger, he reached out and helped pull the other boy to his feet.

'Sorry about that,' Severus said.

'S'okay, I wasn't exactly watching where I was going myself,' the boy said. 'Thank you for the hand up.'

'Not a problem,' Severus said, nodding his head slightly.

'Well, thanks again, I should get a move on,' the boy said after they stood there in silence a few moments.

Severus didn't want the boy to leave, for some odd reason he had the impression he needed to know more about the boy, not that he had the choice obviously. 'Yes, well ... take care then.'

'Yes, you too,' the boy smiled and headed off.

Severus shook his head and brushed off the strange boy's image then made his way through the exhibits towards the hall that he wanted to visit more than all the others, making sure he'd have plenty of time for it. This was his favourite part of the museum; he'd spent quite a bit of time fantasising about the things he'd seen and heard in his life in the dimly lit hall. To his surprise he wasn't alone when he arrived; someone was standing at the far end of the hall, someone he instantly recognised. He didn't say anything at first, just walked over and stood behind the boy, staring up at the particular exhibit that the boy was looking at.

'Fascinating things aren't they,' he said quietly, trying not to startle the other boy.

The boy didn't turn round; in fact he didn't seem surprised at all to hear Severus suddenly behind him. 'It depends on who you ask,' he replied.

'I don't think they portray them correctly,' Severus said, his gaze on the boy's profile rather than on the exhibit as he stepped to the side of the other lad.

'Maybe they do. Can you say for certain?' the boy asked a trace of a foreign accent in his voice as he turned to look at Severus.

'Well ... no ... not exactly. It's not as if such things exist to see if they have done them correctly or not,' Severus said.

'Mmm, of course not, they're only made up stories to amuse and horrify the masses,' the boy said with a slight smirk. 'It's no more or less than the resurgence of interest in Jack the Ripper or little green men from Mars.'

'Jack the Ripper was real,' Severus argued. 'How can you even compare what is real to what is nothing more than make-believe myths and legends?'

'Ah, but was he real?' the boy asked as he walked over and looked up at another exhibit. 'Or was it an elaborate hoax?'

'You're talking in riddles,' Severus said petulantly, walking over the exhibit of Jack the Ripper. 'There was evidence that Jack the Ripper was real. There were signed letters ... the crimes themselves ... how can you deny the proof?'

'Yes, dead bodies, missing organs, notes left behind ... the work of a madman perhaps? Or was it someone looking for an ideal, a purification of those less deserving ... or was he merely acting on the whims of another?' the boy asked, turning to look at Severus fully. 'Or was it nothing more than a brilliantly executed ploy by the newspapers and those in authority to create a bogeyman that people would fear more than themselves?'

Severus thought about that for a moment. 'I don't think it was a hoax, and I hardly think he was mad, not in view of the facts,' he said. 'No madman could have cut out someone's liver and touch nothing else of the body. Or kill with such preciseness to stump even Scotland Yard.'

Or maybe he was just very good with a knife, that's if he was even real,' the boy said, a twinkle in his eyes.

Severus noticed how odd the boy's eyes were, unlike anything he'd ever seen before. Not yellow, more of an amber with hints of gold, and for a moment he got a fleeing impression of them similar to wolf's eyes. 'Maybe he wasn't,' he replied, then turned back to look at the exhibit again. 'In a way I suppose you're right, no one can ever really prove he existed, any more than vampires or werewolves exist.'

'Ah, but are you so sure they don't?' the boy asked curiously.

'Because ... well ... simple, there's no such thing. By now I think people would have found something to prove the existence of them. It's like Angels or the Holy Grail. More myths and legends to feed the imagination, but not good for much else,' Severus shrugged.

The boy thought about that for a moment. 'Just because you can't see something or haven't found proof, should you automatically discredit it as myth, legend, or falsehoods?'

'No ... but ...' Severus trailed off, sighing now in frustration. 'It doesn't matter what I believe in. What I do believe in will be drummed out me in favour of realities and proofs soon enough.'

'Why's that?'

'I start school in a few months, that's why,' Severus grimaced.

'You don't sound too happy about that,' the boy said leaning against the railing.

'I'm not. I don't want to go to some stuffed up, pompous old school. I don't want to give up what I believe in, even if no one else believes me,' he said, walking over to look at another exhibit case. 'I wish I was one of them then I wouldn't have to do what everyone else wants. I could be free.'

'You think being a werewolf would be better?' the boy asked, tilting his head a bit to look at Severus carefully.

'It's got to be better than going to Eton,' Severus replied.

'I wouldn't count on that.'

'Why do you say that?' Severus asked puzzled.

The boy turned and looked at the exhibit case, a strange expression in his eyes. 'Think what kind of life it would be. To be hated, stigmatised, treated like a pariah because of something you can't control ...' he said with a slight shiver. 'You become nothing more than a monster ... a killer of humans ... and no one wants you because of it.'

'But that's just part of their nature,' Severus argued. 'They can't help what they are, any more than they could refuse to be what they are. It's an inherent part of them; you can't blame them for that.'

The boy didn't say anything for a moment, just stared at the figure of the two legged half-man, half-wolf. 'They blame themselves for what they are. For being foolish enough in allowing themselves to get hurt when they should have listened and not wandered into places they shouldn't have been at. For a night of childish stargazing a person's entire life is ruined forever, shattered every dream and hope they have of growing up to be someone important ... someone special ...' he trailed off sadly.

Severus shook his head, though he couldn't help but wonder at the boy's sadness. 'You're being rather morbid over a creature that didn't exist. Honestly though, I don't see why they would blame themselves, they're not rational creatures to begin with when they're transformed,' he shrugged. 'Besides, it's only once a month they're beasts, so if they're good people the other days of the month ... you shouldn't judge them for that one night that they have to be what they are.'

'Do you truly believe that?' the boy asked, turning to look at Severus searchingly. 'You really believe that a werewolf could actually be a good person?'

'Why not? They aren't always bad in the films,' Severus said.

'Films?' the boy asked puzzled.

'Yes, you know ... films ... the cinema?' Severus asked in surprise at the boy's puzzled expression.

'Oh ... oh yes, of course, the cinema,' the boy said hastily, a hesitant smile flickering across his face. 'I err ... I don't get out much I'm afraid, not to see ... films ... anyways.'

'You're missing out then,' Severus said. 'No one does horror films as well as Boris Karloff, though Lon Chaney makes the best werewolf films I think. Though I really can't see them on two legs ... can you?'

The boy looked at Severus oddly, his amber eyes twinkling in amusement. 'No, I can't say I do either. I would say they're more like real wolves ... only with a more dangerous attitude. I reckon I'll have to look into this Karloff person, he sounds rather interesting.'

Severus grinned. 'He is. If you like werewolves, you'll love his films. In fact, they're going to be showing some of his films tomorrow night at Regent's cinema, you should come.'

The boy smiled in appreciation. 'Thank you, I would like that very much but ... I don't get to that side of London often. My father ... he ... well ... he doesn't usually let me go off places by myself.'

'You're by yourself now though aren't you?' Severus asked.

The boy shook his head. 'No, not really. My father had some business with someone here in the museum, so really I'm not "alone" in the sense of the word.'

'Oh,' Severus said, not quite sure how to react to that. 'Well, if you can go, I'll be there. It's my last few months of freedom before school starts, and I fully intend to do whatever it is I like, even if Anna won't exactly like it.'

'Who's Anna?'

'She's my Governess. Father insists I'm too old to still have a governess, but I convinced him to let her stay. I like her, she's very understanding ... most of the time anyway. She doesn't really go for all the "stuff and nonsense" of what I believe in, but she tolerates it. She has no choice really, she's a servant so she can't exactly "say" I'm daft ... even if she sometimes thinks it,' he chuckled.

The boy looked at Severus curiously. 'A Governess? Are you one of those royal people then?'

Severus laughed. 'No, my father's an Earl, but he's not royalty, it's just a title that brings a lot of worry and stress if you ask me. A bunch of pomp, circumstance, and being fussed over is all. Quite annoying really.'

'Yes, it must be very frustrating for you,' he said in an odd voice.

'Are you mocking me?' Severus asked.

The boy smiled and shook his head. 'No, not at all. It's just that I don't know what it's like to have everything laid out at my feet, and yet still not be satisfied with what I've got.'

'What makes you think I'm not satisfied with what I have?' Severus asked.

'If you were, you wouldn't be so miserable about going to school. You're very lucky to be going.'

'I would say bad luck if anything,' Severus muttered. 'At least you're not being forced to go to some ruddy old school and away from everything you know.'

'I wouldn't mind that in the least,' the boy said quietly.

'Fine, you can go to Eton in my place. Then you can say me "I told you so" after you've had a miserable time,' Severus grumbled.

'Oh ... I ... I don't think a place like Eton would take someone like me,' the boy said hesitantly.

'Why not? You seem clever.'

'A lot of book reading is all. That and some cleverness only gets one so far. Trust me ... I wouldn't be welcomed at a place like Eton,' the boy said with a slight edge to his voice.

Severus looked at the other boy curiously, wondering why he'd sound that way but it was clear the boy didn't want him to pry further. 'Well, I'm sure you'll fit in well at your own school at any rate,' he said.

'Oh ... yes ... I'm sure I'll fit right in at ... my ... school,' the boy said hesitantly, though clearly he didn't seem very encouraged.

Severus didn't see in the least how the intelligent, mild-mannered boy would ever have issues fitting in anywhere. He was about to say something to that effect when a man called out a name causing the boy to look up quickly.

'Ici, Père!' the boy replied

'Queest-ce que je vous ai dit au sujet de parler à Muggles? Laissez-maintenant nous vont!' the man said sharply as he saw Severus.

'Venez!' the boy said, and then turned to Severus apologetically. 'I'm sorry, I have to go.'

'French,' Severus said more to himself than the boy.

'Sorry?' the boy asked puzzled.

'You're accent. I couldn't place it before,' Severus said.

The light brown-haired boy nodded though his gaze was on the scowling man glaring at his son. 'Oh, yes, I was born there, but I live here now,' he said. 'I am sorry; I really have to go. My father gets a bit ... err ... cranky ... sometimes. It was nice to meet you ... umm, I never did get your name,' he said.

'Oh, sorry, I'm Severus. You?'

'Remus,' the boy smiled and held out his hand.

'It was nice to meet you too, Remus,' Severus said grasping the other boy's hand. For a moment he swore he could feel an electrical pulse shoot through his arm, but it was gone when the other boy let his hand go. 'Err, Good luck at school,' Severus said, still puzzling over the feeling.

'Yes, you too,' Remus replied. He gave Severus a curious gaze then began to walk away. He stopped, however, and turned back, looking at Severus thoughtfully. 'Don't give up what you believe in, Severus ... you're closer to the truth than you think.' His gaze then flickered to the wax figure behind Severus then he turned back round and walked over to the man, and they were gone before Severus could say another word.

Severus turned back round to look up at the figurine, a strange expression on his face. 'What does he mean by that I wonder?' he asked the silent werewolf eerily staring back at him that was offering no answer to his question. With a shrug he made his way back through the museum just in time to meet Anna.

'Have a good time, luv?' she asked as he got into the limousine.

'Mmm ... something like that,' he said absent-mindedly, his gaze focusing out the window. As they passed back through town, through the same street they had before, Severus gasped at something he saw.

'Something wrong, Severus?' Anna asked in concern.

'Hmm? Oh ... no, nothing's wrong. I thought I was getting the hiccoughs, but I'm not,' Severus said, his gaze still focused out the window. 'Do you think I'll be learning French at school, Anna?'

'French?' Anna asked in surprise. 'Oh, I don't know, I imagine you should, your father speaks it fluently. Why do you ask?'

'No reason, just curious,' Severus replied, suddenly more eager to begin school then he'd been earlier that day.

As the car stopped at the very same spot as it had earlier on, Severus was positive he'd just seen Remus and his father opening the door to a rather dilapidated looking establishment that he'd seen before. He wasn't going to say anything to Anna though, not this time; he was beginning to learn that some things were best left unsaid. As the limousine passed the blackened doorway, Severus peered at the small, badly painted sign outside, but the car moved on before he could get a good look at the name.

To Severus' dismay, Remus never showed up at the cinema the next night, nor any other night. As he began his schooling Severus' conscious mind forgot about the day at Madame Tussaud's and of the cryptic words Remus had spoken. His classes soon pushed aside his childhood dreams in favour of schoolwork, and to his surprise, making friends. His days were spent learning about maths, science, literature, languages, and other assorted subjects. His evenings were spent playing Cricket and Polo, going horseback riding with his friends, or just taking part in normal childhood banter and pranks against his professors.

As the years passed by, Severus forgot the blackened doorway of his youth with its glimpse of a shabby, candlelit pub lurking behind it. However, at night, in the throws of sleep, that doorway continued to haunt his dreams, as did a quiet brown-haired French boy with eyes of a wolf. He never remembered the dreams when he woke, but he knew something was there nagging at him, something that never quite let him forget that once he had been close to having all his dreams come true.

***

'Ici, Père! - Here, Father!

Queest-ce que je vous ai dit au sujet de parler à Muggles? Laissez-maintenant nous vont! - What did I tell you about talking to Muggles? Now let's go!

Venez! - Coming!