Wounded

Chapter 3

Once again, he was haunted by dreams of the final battle. Time after time, he was forced to kill either former students or those that had been his Housemates. With each attack on one of the Dark Lord's minions, he felt his strength waning. By sheer force of will, he went on, unwilling to let the Dark Lord win, until he succumbed to the darkness.

He woke up shaking and in a cold sweat. After leaving the hospital, the dreams had stopped, but the last couple of days, they had begun again. Did it mean anything or was it only his mind tormenting him? He had done all that he could, more than was expected of any one man. He decided to shower and then he would have Julia help him with his research.

While it always started as research, her intellectual curiosity invariably turned it into a Potions lesson. She asked him the type of questions that never even occurred to most of his seventh years. He found it very refreshing to be teaching someone who was not only interested in the subject, but was not an insufferable know-it-all.

"Well now, you're not completely useless, now are you?" Aurelia asked proudly.

"It seems you have managed to make your point," he replied.

"Good. And have you thought about the dragon's eggs?"

He sighed, knowing he had lost. "As you have said, there is nothing to be lost in the attempt. I would recommend letting the potion simmer overnight for full potency."

She nodded her head ever so slightly. "You're the Potions Master. Now, I'll let you two get back to your lesson. Helen, help me with dinner."

Severus could hear Helen giggling at something as the two of them headed to the kitchen. He realized that over the last couple of weeks, he had been accepted for the first time in his life.

"Professor, you were telling me about pain relieving potions," Julia prompted.

"Of course. I believe we were discussing powdered root of asphodel? I know your mother has an encyclopedia of potions. What is special about asphodel in a pain relieving potion?" As he heard her flipping through the book, he reflected that perhaps he could work as a private tutor, for the right student, of course. If his charge were as eager and intelligent as Julia, it could be an enjoyable experience.

****************

It was late and the house was quite, but Severus was lying awake in bed, afraid to sleep lest the dreams return. He did not want to hear the screams again. As he was lying alone with his thoughts, he heard the floor creak. Aurelia was going downstairs. He knew he shouldn't follow, but he wondered if she might be doing something with the potion.

Quietly, he crept downstairs, straining to hear where she had gone. As he approached the library, he could hear her speaking.

"Henry, you would be so proud of your girls. Their marks were excellent this year, though Helen could have done better in Transfigurations. I think she gets that from you. I'm glad I let you talk me into sending the girls to France. You were right that Hogwarts would become a focal point. So many were lost. So many that were too young. We all cried when we saw the names in the paper. They are rebuilding the school now. While it will be several years before repairs are complete, they hope to have enough of the school repaired to start the term on time. Since the war is over, I want to send the girls there next year. I know Julia missed her friends and it will be good for Helen to go to school with her sister, though I'm not sure Helen will be sorted into Ravenclaw. Besides, I want them closer to home.

"It was in the Prophet today that they are accepting applications for Hogwarts. I'm sure they'll choose an excellent staff, though they will have very large shoes to fill. They died protecting the children, giving the innocent time to get away."

Severus leaned against the wall and slammed his eyes closed to fight off the tears. He had known there would be losses, he just wondered, who? He knew that he should not be listening and that he should leave, but he was afraid to make any noise that might attract her attention.

"I'm sure you remember Severus Snape, I don't think anyone could forget. He's one of the professors that fell. I know you missed his redemption and you would call me insane, but he did what he had to for the greater good. He was poisoned by You-Know-Who. He had nowhere to go after he recovered, well, he hasn't totally recovered, we're still working on finding a cure, anyway, I invited him to be my roommate. He's been a wonderful friend and we think we might be close to the cure.

"Having him here has been good for the girls. Helen doesn't bother him too much, though, honestly, I think he only pretends to be annoyed. And he's been wonderful with Julia, teaching her many things about potions. In that way, I think it's been good for him, too. I was afraid he was going to succumb to depression, but they've been good therapy for him. Of course, he hasn't had to deal with the public yet, but I'm hoping they will choose to believe that he fought on the right side.

"I think they see him as an uncle, I know I sometimes treat him like he's my little brother. He's really become a part of the family. Perhaps this is what your brother would have been like if he had chosen to be a part of our family." Henry's brother, Allen, had been so disgusted that Henry was going to marry a Slytherin, that he had cut off all contact. They had tried to reason with him over the years, but he had been unrelenting in his prejudice.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that we miss you and love you. Before the girls go back to school, we'll come to visit. I suppose I should try to sleep. It's been hard for me to sleep without you."

Severus could hear the chair scrape the floor and knew that he would be discovered if he stayed where he was. In his haste to get away, he had forgotten about the chair against the wall.

"Severus? Is that you?" Aurelia asked.

"Yes." He knew there was no point in lying. He couldn't get away before she found him.

"What are you doing?" she asked cautiously. Did he hear?

"I heard a noise and came to investigate. I...forgot about the chair." He desperately wanted to ask her about those that were killed in the final battle.

She saw through the lie. "How much did you hear?"

"All of it," he admitted.

"And I'm sure you have questions now. Come on. I might as well answer them." She sounded tired as she returned to the library and unlocked the liquor cabinet. "I think you might want a drink," she said as she poured two large drinks. By the time she had them poured, he had taken a seat in his usual chair. With a quick wave of her wand she lit the fire.

"You asked me what happened at Hogwarts. I wasn't there, but I was on duty that night. Specialties were ignored; we all did what we could to save as many lives as possible. It was the most horrible night of my life." She paused to take a sip of her brandy. "The wounded and the dying were brought in more quickly than any of us could handle. There were more dying than wounded. The Death Eaters were quite efficient." She paused again, trying to vanquish the images of that night and concentrate only on the facts.

"Professor Flitwick was one of the first casualties I saw. He didn't survive very long. Sinistra was fortunate; her spell damage was easily reversed and she was released. Madam Hooch was another unfortunate victim. They said she was taken down by Avada Kedavra as she was protecting the students that were fleeing. Not surprisingly, Slughorn was also taken down by the Death Eaters." Pausing again, she knew the next part was the hardest.

"Go on," he prompted gently. Not really wanting to hear what she said next, but knowing he had to hear it at some point.

She took a rather large gulp of her brandy before continuing. "McGonagall was the worst. They knew she was leading the Order and tortured her. She arrived alive, but I'm sure she wished she were dead. She survived three days before succumbing to her injuries."

Severus let the pain sink in. While their Houses had been the fiercest rivals, he always had a great deal of respect for Minerva, and she had been one of his closest friends.

"And the students?" he asked soberly.

"Most of them got away. Some of the older ones helped in the defense and many of them lost their lives. As you can imagine, some joined their parents. Most of those were killed or are in prison now. I haven't memorized their names, but I have the list. I don't know why I've kept it. Perhaps I thought you might one day want to see it."

He really didn't want to see the names on that list, but knew he would be confronted with it soon enough. "Have they chosen a new headmaster?" he asked.

"If they have, they haven't publicized it. Perhaps you should write Professor Sprout. She may know more about what's happening at Hogwarts." She suddenly realized what she had said. "Oh, I'm sorry. I could post a letter for you."

He upended his glass. "Perhaps your potion will finally put an end to my dependence." Rising from his chair, he slowly shuffled toward the door.

"Severus, wait. Did you have any more questions?"

He stopped. "No. You have answered all that you can." After several long seconds, he asked, "Do you really see me as family?"

"Yes, we do. Especially Helen, since she never had you as a teacher. I have seen your collection of drawings when I clean your room. I've told her you can't see them."

"She helps me see them," he replied softly. "She traces my finger along the drawings and describes them to me. Now if you will excuse me, I'll go to bed."

She smiled at his retreating back. Severus Snape had a soft side.

****************

Aurelia was up early, as was the case most mornings. After dressing, she went to the basement to check on the potion. As she had expected, Severus joined her about ten minutes later.

"How does it look?" he asked.

"Pale violet," she replied.

"That's...unexpected."

"Very," she replied as she stirred the potion. Ladling a dose into the glass, she sniffed it before handing it Severus.

He also sniffed it, but could come to no immediate conclusion. Knowing that most potions tasted horrible, he quickly downed it.

"Anything?" she asked.

"No," he sounded disappointed. "Wait!" He could feel warmth spreading through his body. His fingers and toes started tingling and he could feel himself getting light-headed.

She saw him start to sway and hurried to his side. She lowered him to the floor before he could fall. "Severus? Are you in pain?"

He tried to clear his head. "No, there is no pain. It's...very hard to describe. I think I should lie down." He couldn't stop the feeling that the room was spinning and it was incredibly disorienting with no visual input.

Aurelia reached out with the diagnostic spell, but could find no dangerous reaction occurring. All she could do at this point was wait.

After several long minutes, Severus opened his eyes. The room had stopped spinning. Instead of the black he had expected, he saw a grey haze. Slowly, he sat up and started looking around the room.

"Severus? Can you see?" she asked hopefully.

He continued looking around the room. He thought that he could make out areas of dark and light, but it was still indistinct. "Somewhat. My vision has not returned to what it was, but I can see light."

"Lumos." She lit the tip of her wand and moved it in front of his face. "Follow my wand with your eyes." She was quite pleased when he did track her wand. "Well, this is a definite improvement." She helped him to his feet. "Shall we get something to eat and give you a little while to see how much this potion will help before we give your wand another chance?"

While he was anxious to see if his ability to use magic had returned, he was also afraid of yet another failure. "Yes, I think that would be best."

****************

When they arrived in the kitchen, they found a disaster.

"Good morning, mum. I wanted to surprise you with breakfast," Helen said cheerfully.

Severus could smell the burning food and suppressed a frown.

"So I can see," Aurelia replied dryly. "Can I lend a hand?" she asked hopefully.

"No, it's my breakfast," Helen insisted.

"What in the name of Merlin happened here?" asked Julia as she entered the kitchen to see flour everywhere.

"Your sister has made us a nice breakfast...that we will all enjoy." Aurelia's tone indicated this was an order and not a statement. A very sullen Julia took a seat at the table.

They all sat at the table and politely ate the breakfast Helen had cooked. She was incredibly proud of her first solo meal.

"It's very good, dear. You're well on your way to being a world-class cook. Now, why don't you and Julia do the dishes and clean up the kitchen?"

"Yes, mum," they answered in unison.

Aurelia led Severus back to the basement. "Sorry about that breakfast. I had no idea she was going to do that."

"I don't think I have ever seen a mess quite like that," he replied.

"You could see that?"

"My vision has been improving. I still don't have much peripheral vision, but I can see straight ahead reasonably well. I'm ready to try my wand again." With his improved vision, he felt more confident that his magic had returned.

She handed him his wand. "Good luck."

With a quick swish and flick of his wand and a nervous incantation of, "Wingardium Leviosa." they watched in anticipation as the piece of parchment on the table slowly fluttered into the air.

Once the parchment drifted back down to the table, she gave him a quick hug. "That was wonderful."

"It seems you were correct about the dragon's eggs," he replied simply. While he was overjoyed, he was not one to display emotion.

"Why, thank you. I would assume that just as your vision is returning slowly, your magic would do the same. In case more doses are needed, I'll bottle up the rest of the potion."

"I know you are expected at work soon. I can bottle the potion and clean up the work area." He felt as though a great weight had lifted. After he cleaned up, he would write Pomona and ask her about the status of Hogwarts. "Aurelia? Could you leave the list for me?" he asked quietly.

She stopped in the doorway. "I'll leave it on the desk."

****************

As he walked out of the basement, he saw that the girls were still cleaning up the mess. He found it hard to believe that one little girl could have made such a large mess. He stopped and watched them. They both took after their mother quite strongly, though they both wore their hair long, there would be no doubt in anyone's mind they were sisters.

Julia noticed him standing at the door to the basement, and asked, "Professor, mum says you can see. Is that true?"

"My vision is returning," he replied.

"Will you be back at Hogwarts?" Now that she had accepted his loyalty to Dumbledore and the Order, she would like to have him as a professor again. Of their Defense Against the Dark Arts professors, he had been the best.

"You would be the first student that has ever looked forward to my class," he replied dryly, before continuing on to the library. On the desk, he saw an issue of the Daily Prophet. It must be the one that had the casualty list. Slowly, he walked over to the desk. He had to know, but he knew it would be painful. Crossing the room to the desk seemed to take an eternity.

As he reached out to pick up the paper, he noticed his hand was trembling. On the front page was a picture of Minerva. The headline proclaimed she was gravely injured. Flipping to page two, he saw the casualty list. He saw far too many familiar names; many of them belong to people under the age of twenty.

Many from the Order had fallen. Kingsley, Tonks, and Fred Weasley. Looking down the list, he saw the Weasley family had been hit hard. Ginny, Percy and Bill had also fallen. He saw no other names from the Hogwarts staff. There were many Slytherin names on the list. Noticeably absent were any Malfoys. It appeared that once again Lucius had managed to avoid mortal danger, though the Crabbes and Goyles had not been so lucky. He was pleased to finally see the Lestranges on the list along with Walden Macnair. Macnair had been one of the worst in terms of sheer cruelty.

He let the paper fall from his hand. It was finally over. From the list of names, there were very few high-level supporters of the Dark Lord left alive. It was unlikely they would go through a period of surviving Death Eaters struggling for power. It was over.

Setting up parchment and quill, he penned a letter to Pomona. It was short; he had never been one for socializing either in person or in missive.

Pomona,

As you no doubt have heard, I have recovered from the poison. I have heard that the castle is undergoing reconstruction. Will classes be convening on schedule? Additionally, have any of the vacant posts been filled?

Severus

He stared at the letter. I don't have to teach. My debt to Albus has been repaid. Besides, they will whisper behind my back, though that is nothing unusual. I could become a tutor and then I would never have to teach dunderheaded students again. Or I could go into business. I have enough savings to open an Apothecary. He was on the verge of crumpling it up. No. I will not run and hide. I have a chance to resurrect Slytherin's reputation. No one else can do it. No one else will do it.

He rolled up his left sleeve and saw that his skin was unmarked. The Dark Lord was truly gone. Rubbing his arm, he was still amazed there was no trace of the Mark. He was finally free.

Before he could change his mind again, he sealed and posted the letter.

Since the girls were still cleaning up the kitchen, he decided to peruse the library.

****************

When Aurelia returned home, she thought the house was entirely too quite. "Severus?" she called out.

"In the library," came his reply.

Aurelia saw that he was alone. "Where are the girls?"

He closed the book he was reading. "They wanted to go over to the Parkers. I saw no reason they couldn't go."

"How are you doing? Is your vision any better?"

"Somewhat. I still have not recovered my peripheral vision."

She moved across the room to examine him and could find nothing exceptional. "I still don't know why it worked. Perhaps we should try another dose?"

"It seems logical," he replied before pulling a phial out of his pocket.

"Have you taken any other doses today?" she asked suspiciously.

"No. I was waiting for your professional opinion."

Knowing how independent he was, this surprised her. "Thank you for the respect. Go ahead and drink it. I don't think it will hurt."

"How very reassuring," he replied dryly before drinking the dose. This time he did not feel as lightheaded, though there was some dizziness. The fact he was sitting helped.

Aurelia waited a few moments before asking, "Any change?"

"It's hard to tell," he replied.

"Stand up," she ordered and then performed a quick peripheral vision check. "I'll do that again later and we can compare. I'd appreciate it if you could start dinner while I go get the girls."

"Of course. Thank you for leaving the paper out for me."

"I know it had to be hard to see. Did you write Pomona?"

"I did, though I'm not sure how quickly she will respond." Or if she responds at all, he added silently. He had no reason to believe he would be welcome at Hogwarts.

She turned back to face him when she got to the door. "Did anyone else that drank the poison survive?"

"Why do you ask?"

She crossed her arms and tapped her lips in thought. "Well, if there is someone else that drank the poison, but was not affected, it's possible I could get a sample of the poison from their blood. Since it's still affecting you, it doesn't seem like something that would quickly dissipate."

He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of this before. Of course, prior to this morning, he had not known if any of the others survived. "Lucius Malfoy."

"Hmmm...Was there anyone else?" she asked.

"Has he died?" Severus wondered if he could be that lucky. Lucius had always kept an annoyingly close eye on him and knew far too much about him for comfort.

"No. We just don't know where he is. No one has seen him or his family since the final battle. He always was sneaky, wasn't he?"

"I may know where he is hiding," Severus replied quietly.

"Then we should turn him in."

He began pacing. "Normally I would agree with you, but what we really need is information on the poison. He is our best source. I am willing to trade information on the poison for his freedom. It is unlikely he will attract any followers. I don't think he will be dangerous if left free."

"And you think he will have information about the poison?" she asked cautiously. He had made excellent points, but she still didn't like the idea of letting a Death Eater go free.

"He was the Dark Lord's most trusted advisor. He made many of the arrangements through his numerous contacts. It is likely that he knows who brewed the potion."

"I'll come with you," she offered.

"You most certainly will not."

She crossed her arms defensively. "You aren't going by yourself. You could barely levitate a piece of parchment and you expect me to let you meet with a Death Eater by yourself? I don't think so. Besides, you'll need my help to get where you are going."

He could have argued the first point, but the second was unavoidable. "Since I have no choice, you may accompany me. I would prefer to leave sooner rather than later."

"I'll pop over to the Parker's. I'm sure the girls would love to spend the night and I know Alice won't mind. Why don't you fix some sandwiches and we can leave after I get back?" The Parker girls were the same age as Julia and Helen and had formed close friendships.

While he didn't particularly care for her coming along, it would be nice to have someone watching his back. Especially when he wasn't entirely sure he could defend himself.

****************

After eating, he gave her directions to where he suspected Lucius was hiding. This retreat was a villa that only Lucius' closest friends had known about. Lucius had very carefully hid his ties to the property. Severus was almost positive that everyone who had known of the villa, other than him, was dead.

Aurelia looked at the map. "We will have to do this in two stages. I can't get us both there in one jump."

"Understood." He moved closer to her so she could Apparate them. One way or another, he would make Lucius tell him about the poison.