Beholden To No Man

They kissed each other hungrily, fumbling with each other's robes, and were soon lying in bed, naked. To both ward off the cold and conceal his body, he pulled the covers over them. He moaned at her touch, realizing it had been far too long. He started kneading her breast.

She pulled his hand away and whispered, "Not so hard."

He cursed himself for his inexperience. Pleasuring his partner was not something he was accustomed to. Normally, the woman was there to please him. He cupped her breast more gently, but still was not sure exactly what he should be doing.

She gently pushed his head down and offered him her breast. He circled her nipple with his tongue.

"Oh, yes," she moaned softly, arching her back and encouraging him to continue. "I want you," she whispered hoarsely after a few minutes.

At first, he was clumsy and slightly embarrassed, but that faded as the bliss of being with her overtook him. He got lost in the moment and soon felt relief wash through his body as he reached satisfaction.

A few moments after he had finished, he opened his eyes, and even in the dim light, he could see the look of disappointment on Aurelia's face. He silently cursed himself. She was not a Knockturn Alley whore who charged by the quarter-hour. He should have taken his time, seen to her needs, but he had been so overcome by the moment that he had lost control. Rolling beside her, he apologized, "I'm sorry."

She smiled weakly. "Don't worry about it. The first time tends to be awkward. We can try again, later."

He continued to curse himself. This was something he had been anticipating for months, something that should have been memorable for both of them. Instead, he had been selfish and thought only of his satisfaction. Even so, she still snuggled against him. He didn't have long to be disgusted with himself as he was now utterly exhausted.

************

Aurelia watched Severus sleep. She hadn't expected fireworks their first time together, but she had still expected something more than that. Reminding herself that his life had been very difficult and that he was still emotionally introverted, she resigned herself to being patient. After all, inside his gruff exterior was the man she loved.

When she felt that enough time had passed, she began gently caressing his chest, his stomach, her hand moving lower. She heard him moan softly and she whispered into his ear, "Severus." When he didn't respond, she licked the outer edge of his ear and nipped at the edge of the lobe. "Time to wake up." Rubbing against him, she wanted to leave no doubt in his mind about why she was waking him up.

As Severus regained awareness, he leaned toward Aurelia for a kiss. As he deepened the kiss, he tried to roll on top of her, but she put her hands up against his chest.

"My turn," she whispered devilishly before straddling him. If she was on top, she knew that she could maintain control of the situation and keep him from being carried away again by over-exuberance. Carefully, she lowered herself over him, closing her eyes as she felt him enter her.

Slowly, she began rocking. She kept her pace slow but steady, refusing to let him dictate the situation. When he tried to roll her over so that he could be on top, she shoved him back against the bed. "Not yet." As she could feel her orgasm coming she quickened the pace somewhat, reveling in the feel. He was thrusting into her, trying to get her to move even more quickly.

"Aurelia," he pleaded.

The devilish part of her mind took over and she slowed her pace slightly, wanting to enjoy the sensations of the moment, knowing that once they reached orgasm, it would be over. Plus, she wanted him to suffer a bit for his selfish performance earlier.

When she thought he had been punished enough, she rode him hard, hurrying herself to release. She cried out his name as she came, bringing him along with her. Once they were both sated, she collapsed atop him and kissed him. "Much better," she said approvingly.

"Yes, much," he replied. She shifted so that she could lie beside him, though she kept her arm and leg wrapped around him. "Feel free to wake me up like that any time."

"I thought you might like that, and I know that I needed it." She suddenly felt much safer than she had in days and quickly drifted off into a sound sleep.

************

The sunlight streaming through the small transom window was shining directly in Severus's eyes, waking him from a deep slumber. He started to move and realized that Aurelia was draped over him. Watching her, he could see a look of contentment on her face.

Today, he would take her to St. Mungo's. It was time for her to face what had happened. Dear Merlin! In the heat of the moment, he had forgotten just what had happened to her. They had both been so willing, neither one of them thinking rationally. And now... He couldn't help but feel he had taken advantage of her. They had consummated their relationship while she was still so vulnerable. He was sure that she would regret the decision, even more than he did.

Slipping out of bed, he decided to take a shower as he suddenly felt incredibly guilty.

While he was dressing in the bathroom, he heard her calling out for him, and he rushed into the other room, his robe only half buttoned. "What is it?" he asked, wondering if she had been woken by a nightmare.

Placing her hand on her chest in obvious relief, she replied, "I...thought you had gone."

Sitting beside her and taking her hands in his, he replied, "I will be with you as long as you need me to be." He could tell that this did not seem to entirely reassure her. "Aurelia?" he asked gently.

"It's because of what happened last night, isn't it?"

He felt his heart sink. He had made a horrible mess of their entire relationship by letting his hormones dictate his actions.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure it's been a long time for you, too, and it was our first time, that's always a bit rough." She moved to nuzzle against him. "But later... You made me a very happy woman. And as we learn about each other, it will only get better."

For the second time in two days, Severus was stunned silent. She wasn't having regrets; she saw a future with him.

"Severus?" she asked as she pulled away to observe his expression.

"I'm sorry. That's not...what I was expecting you to say. I thought you might be upset with me."

She brushed his cheek. "You frustrate me from time to time, but I don't know that I could ever be upset with you." Disentangling herself from the sheets, she straddled his lap and kissed him. As she did so her hands deftly unbuttoned his robes and pushed them from his shoulders.

He suddenly felt very nervous. It was irrational since he knew she had seen him naked many times, but now that they were lovers, he found he was suddenly ashamed of his pale, scrawny body. "I just showered," he said lamely.

"You could shower again."

"You have an appointment at St. Mungo's."

"It's with Marcus. His schedule is flexible... What's wrong?"

He desperately wanted to pull his robe back up. "You've been through something very traumatic. I fear that I might..." He couldn't bring himself to say the words and looked away from her.

"Severus," she said softly. "This is something that I want. You are not taking advantage of me." She brushed his hair away from his cheek. "I love you, and nothing that happened will change that."

He was at odds with himself. Part of him wanted nothing more than to give in to her desires, desires they shared. However, the overly criticizing, always rationalizing voice that had inhabited some deep, nether corner of his mind for as long as he could remember, whispered now that this sort of behavior could ruin the relationship he had with her. In the past, he had been able to ignore this voice, but in the past, he had been a selfish man. Reluctantly pushing her off his lap, he said, "I love you, as well, and that is why we should wait."

She didn't say anything, but rose from the bed and went into the bathroom.

************

While in the shower, Aurelia found that she couldn't stop thinking about Severus's words, or rather his actions. He regretted last night. He thought he was taking advantage of her.

Letting the hot water run down her body, she wondered if it was true. Her plan, before her capture, had been to take advantage of the private room to let him know how she felt. Last night she had only finally done what she had intended all along.

Hadn't she?

The clinician in her knew that Malfoy had manipulated her mind during her captivity, and that there was a possibility that she was not thinking properly. Her romantic side knew that she loved Severus and he loved her, too, and that what had happened to her shouldn't matter.

But it did.

She finally decided that there was no changing the past. They would have to go forward from here. Now the question was: would their liaison last night reduce the tension between them or only create more?

Resting her head against the wall of the shower, she found that she did not know. And it was likely that Severus didn't either, which had surely contributed to his behavior.

Turning off the water, she knew that the time for hiding was over and that she had to face him and live with the consequences of their actions.

************

Once Aurelia was dressed, they ate a light breakfast but said very little. Neither one of them seemed to know what to say to the other.

As she set her napkin down on the table, he asked, "Are you ready to go?"

"I suppose putting it off won't make it any better."

"Adrian is allowing us to use his Floo connection," he said as he led her out of the dungeon.

"That's very kind of him."

He could tell that she was frustrated with him, but he already had enough regrets. After this was over, he would find some time alone with her and hope he could get her to see that he was doing the right thing.

Adrian was waiting for them in his office. "Ms. MacLean, you are looking much better this morning."

"Thank you, Professor. I am feeling much better, too. I'd like to thank you for your hospitality."

"Think nothing of it. I know how important it is, to be able to be close to those you love in such traumatic times as these surely must be for you." He smiled warmly at her. "I have had the Floo connected to your office and will leave it open until you return. Take your time." He paused for just a moment, and then continued, "I think that you couldn't ask for a better escort today."

"That's very true. I hope that we won't be gone too long. And I fear that, like most other Healers, I don't much care for being a patient myself."

"Perfectly understandable, my dear. Have a safe journey."

She moved towards the fireplace, but Severus placed his hand on her arm. "Allow me to go first." He wanted to give her a sense of security, even though the odds of anyone waiting to ambush her in her office were incredibly small.

"Of course," she replied.

When she arrived through the Floo, Severus had to catch her so that she didn't fall. "Aurelia?"

"Just a little dizzy. Floo travel has always been incredibly disorienting for me. I just need to sit for a minute and perhaps have a sip of water."

He stepped out into the ward, surprising Angelina Johnson. "Miss Johnson, Healer MacLean requires a drink of water." When she didn't move immediately, he said more tersely, "Water?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, Professor. I'll be right there."

He returned to the office; Johnson was right behind him.

"Healer, it's so good to have you back."

"It's just a visit, Angelina. I have a meeting with Marcus."

"Oh, okay. When do you think you will be coming back?" Johnson asked curiously, clearly aware of Aurelia's plight.

"Soon. Very soon."

Severus could tell that she didn't want to talk about this. "That will be all, Miss Johnson." He shot her a glare that hurried her out of the room. "If I had known that she would bother you with questions such as these, I would have brought the water myself."

Aurelia gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about it. You couldn't have known." She slowly drank the glass of water. "I think I'm ready now."

He followed her through the ward and up into the administrative area of the hospital.

"It feels good to be back. I know that must sound strange, but I find that a lot of who I am is tied to being a Healer."

"I will speak with Poppy about having you spend some time in the hospital wing. I think that might be advantageous for you. You would be amazed at the reasons that students are taken to the hospital wing."

She laughed softly. "I somehow doubt that. I'm sure there are every bit as creative as we were as students."

He didn't find this at all humorous given the number of times he had ended up in the hospital wing courtesy of Potter and Black. Thankfully, they had finally arrived at Marcus Stillwater's office.

"Aurelia, so good to see you. I'm so very glad to have you back," he said as he gave her a hug.

"It's good to be back," she replied.

"Ah, Severus. So good to see you again. Thank you for bringing her back safely." He vigorously shook Severus's hand. "Aurelia, will you give us a moment?"

"Of course," she replied, and then she took a seat on Marcus's couch.

Marcus led Severus back out to the reception area. "How was she when you found her? I've seen the Ministry report, but well, it is a Ministry report."

"She was weak. Malfoy had been using hunger to break down her defenses and gain her cooperation."

Marcus furrowed his brow. "Was there any sign that he was using a spell or potion to control her?"

"Not that I could discern, and Poppy Pomfrey found nothing in her examination either."

"We will still give her a thorough examination. I expect that she will be here most of the day. If you come back around mid-afternoon, she should be ready to go home."

"There is one other thing..." He was reluctant to mention it, but he knew that she would have to admit it to eventually. "She...seemed ready to give in to him when I rescued her. She was quite ashamed of this fact."

Marcus nodded and replied soberly, "Well, thanks to the war, we have plenty of experience dealing with torture victims. She may be more difficult than some others precisely because she's too smart for her own good. I'll want to talk with you more when you return."

"Of course. I'll let her know when I'll be back for her." When Marcus waved him in, he returned to the office and sat next to Aurelia. He noticed that Marcus remained in the reception area. "I'm going to leave you in Marcus's capable hands. I need to go to the Ministry and make a statement."

"That's all right. There's no need for you to be here while they poke and prod me," she said glibly.

"This is serious," he started.

"I know. It just makes me feel better to joke about it. I'll be fine." She looked into his dark eyes. "I'm sorry I snapped at you this morning."

"Perfectly understandable. You have been under a great deal of stress. I'll be back mid-afternoon to see how things are going, but you take all the time that you need." He reached down and squeezed her hand gently.

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so glad that you are here for me. I love you."

Tentatively, he returned the embrace. "I love you, too." He waited until she started to pull away before releasing her. He still wasn't comfortable with the amount of affection she was showing. He had spent nearly twenty years burying his emotions. "I'll see you this afternoon," he said softly before leaving.

After leaving St. Mungo's, he went to her house to retrieve a dose of the potion that would cure Malfoy. He then went to the Ministry and found himself having to deal with one layer of bureaucracy after another until someone finally escorted him to Azkaban.

He tried to stifle a shiver when he arrived on the barren rock, but he couldn't. This was a fate that Dumbledore had rescued him from all those years ago. It was still miserable and oppressive even with the Dementors gone. He could not imagine what it must have been like while they were still here.

After close to an hour, Malfoy was finally brought to the interrogation room.

"What an unexpected surprise to see you, Severus. I had expected them to send someone from St. Mungo's."

"I have been directed by the Ministry to provide you with a potion that will neutralize the poison administered by Voldemort."

"How considerate of you," Lucius replied amiably.

"I am doing this so that you will be able to testify, tell the Wizengamot how guilty you are. And rest assured, I will be the first witness for the prosecution."

"Of course you will," Lucius said smugly. "I expected nothing less, but I fear that you will be wasting your time. My testimony will only serve to reveal my innocence. Things occurred during the second rise that you know nothing about. You see, we always doubted your sincerity, and thus, there was much that was kept from you."

Severus placed the phial on the table. "Are you sure that it is you who did not know everything? After all, you've spent a great deal of time here. Tell me, Malfoy, have they put you back into your old cell for sentimental reasons?"

Lucius ignored the taunt and stretched his hand out for the phial. Severus's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. "If you did anything to harm her, I swear that not even the walls of Azkaban will keep you safe."

"Harm her? Why on earth would I have harmed her? She was the one who found the cure for the poison; harming her was the last thing on my mind."

Severus squeezed tighter. "If you touched her, caused her any lasting damage..." Even though Malfoy tried to maintain a calm veneer, Severus could see in the other man's eyes that the severity of that threat did not go unnoticed.

Lucius looked away. "You should know better than to try to get into my mind, Snape. You won't learn anything that way. Interesting that you feel something for her. As if someone like her would be interested in the likes of you. In time, she will realize just how damaged you truly are. You were her patient, nothing more."

Severus could feel his anger growing, but he realized that Malfoy was only baiting him. No matter what Malfoy might think, Aurelia loved him, flaws and all. He released the other man's arm. "There is your potion. Reap your benefits." He leaned back in his chair to watch Malfoy drink the modified cure. It had been quite simple to ensure that it would not be a pleasant experience.

Not long after Lucius drank the potion, he doubled over in pain and collapsed to the floor. "You...poisoned...me," he gasped.

A cruel grin spread across Severus's face. "Not at all. I just neglected to mention that the cure can be rather unpleasant." He watched in pleasure as Malfoy writhed on the floor, crying out in pain before finally sinking into unconsciousness. Only after he was sure that Malfoy was totally insensible did he step over the prone form and knock on the door. The window slid open and he found himself staring directly into a guard's eyes. "The cure has been administered. Malfoy will be unconscious for approximately six to eight hours. Once he regains consciousness, you may interrogate him." He wished he could participate in the interrogation, but that was a job for Ministry officials. He would have to be content with testifying against his former friend. For now, he was glad to be quit of Azkaban.

***********

A/N: My undying gratitude goes to my two betas, nota and ZenLady, who are just wonderful. Hopefully, future chapters will come a bit more frequently, but I had a rough week and weekend. All drama that I won't get into. I hope you are enjoying this story.