Beholden To No Man

Chapter 10

Severus rose from the bed and helped Aurelia to her feet. Holding her protectively, he Apparated them to her front walk. After removing the wards, he led her into the house. He knew that she needed rest and a proper meal. Knowing that she did not want to be alone, he took her to the kitchen. "Let's see what you have to eat, here."

"Not much, I'm afraid. I was on the way back from the market when..." She could not finish her sentence.

After a quick investigation of the pantry revealed nothing he could make a decent meal from, he asked, "Would you be all right if I left for a few minutes to pick something up?"

Terror filled her eyes and she clung to his arm. "No, please, don't go."

Kneeling beside her chair, he placed his hand on her knee, trying to determine what he would do. "Can you make it back to Hogwarts with me? There are many people there, Madam Pomfrey could give you a quick look and make sure you are well, and there are house-elves and a well-stocked kitchen." He knew that it was late enough that his arrival would go unnoticed by most.

She shook her head. "Okay."

Once they arrived at Hogwarts, they walked very slowly up the drive. He kept his arm around her waist in case she collapsed. Even though she was wearing her heavy cloak, she was shaking. He wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from her experience of the last week.

"Do the girls know what happened to me?"

"I did not tell them. I thought it best they not worry about something they could do nothing about." He wanted to scoop her up into his arms and get her inside the castle as soon as possible, but he wasn't sure she would appreciate it. When she stumbled and nearly fell, he decided he would do what was for the best. "Let me carry you. I don't want you falling and hurting yourself." She didn't protest and snuggled against him.

Adrian met them on the front steps. "How is she?"

"Just exhausted. She didn't want to be alone and I thought it best if I brought her here. Could you send Poppy to my quarters?"

"Of course. And was Malfoy the one responsible?"

"He was, though I would prefer not to talk about it now."

Adrian nodded in understanding. "I'll send Poppy down. We can get together tomorrow afternoon and discuss your schedule."

Talking with Adrian was the last thing that Severus wanted to do. Realizing the headmaster could be useful in more ways than one, he asked, "Could you have some food set to my quarters? It has been a rather long, hard journey."

Adrian nodded. "I'll have the house-elves send some food to your quarters as well."

"Thank you," Severus replied.

When he got down to his quarters, he gently laid her on the bed. A small pop signaled that the house-elves had sent up something to eat. Bringing the tray to the bed, he realized that he hadn't eaten much over the last few days, but he wanted to make sure she was taken care of first. He noticed that she was tentative about eating at first. "You can have as much as you would like. I can send for more." He saw the tears running down her cheek and suddenly felt uncomfortable. He had forgotten how emotional women could be since she was normally so rational. Fighting his instinctive response to insist she stop, he tried to reassure, "You know, you are safe here. No one can hurt you."

Smiling weakly at his response, she replied, "I know." She briefly rested her head against his arm before picking up one of the sandwiches.

Poppy arrived while they were eating and gave her a quick examination. After declaring that other than being slightly malnourished, Aurelia was fine physically, she left. He knew that it would take time for her psyche to heal.

After she had eaten a couple of sandwiches, he thought her color looked a little better and she didn't seem to be shaking anymore.

Leaning back against him, she asked, "Do you think I could shower and change into something else?"

"Of course. You can borrow a nightshirt." He led her to the bathroom, and once she was in the shower, he retried a nightshirt from his dresser. He looked at the dingy grey color and contemplated that he might want to actually purchase some new ones, but there was nothing to be done about it now.

When she emerged from the shower, he had already changed into his nightclothes, but was undecided about what their sleeping arrangements would be. He intended to give her some space and would sleep on the sofa. "I think you should get some rest."

As she crawled into bed, she implored, "Hold me?"

He slipped into bed next to her and felt her nestle against him. "Of course." Holding her protectively with his left arm, he noticed that she was almost immediately asleep. His sleep was much longer in coming. Her captivity had changed her, and he was unprepared for those changes. He had always imagined they would sleep together under different circumstances and that they would actually get very little sleeping done. As his thoughts drifted to sex, he could feel himself becoming aroused. Knowing this was not the right time, he tried to shift her so that she was not draped over him as much.

**************

When he woke, he really needed to get up and use the lavatory, but Aurelia was sprawled across him, and he knew he could not move without waking her. "Aurelia." He shook her gently and she moaned softly. Kissing the top of her head to try to get her attention, he continued speaking softly, "I need to get up and you are on my arm."

"Five more minutes," she mumbled.

"I'll only be gone a minute, but I need my arm back." He tried to pull his arm out from under her, but she pinned him tighter. Finally, he was able to extract his arm and slip out of bed. When he returned, he found that she had grabbed his pillow and was holding it tightly. Lying behind her, he wrapped his arm around her.

She nuzzled against him and said softly, "I love you."

He was caught off guard by her declaration. "Aurelia?" When she didn't reply, he just held her protectively wondering if he had not been imagining her words.

She started thrashing in her sleep, waking him. He wrapped his arms and leg around her to keep her from hurting either of them. She was mumbling, but he couldn't make out her words. "Aurelia, you're safe. You're dreaming. Wake up. I'm here. You're safe with me."

When she stopped thrashing, he could hear her panting. "Severus?" she asked cautiously.

"Yes, it's me," he replied softly.

She rolled over and buried her face in his shoulder and began crying. "I was about to give in," she sobbed. "I had given up. I never should have given up. I never should have doubted you would come for me."

He had expected this as he had broken many people as a Death Eater, but he still had no idea how to comfort her. Tentatively placing his arms around her, he considered her words. It stung him that she had given up, but he knew how effective Lucius was at breaking his prisoners. "You have nothing to apologize for. He is very good at what he does. You lasted much longer than his other prisoners," he reassured her. She seemed to draw strength from his touch, and he held her more tightly.

It took her several minutes to calm down. "It was horrible," she whispered weakly.

"I know, but it's over." He held her for several more minutes until she gently pulled away.

"I think I want to take a long, hot shower."

"Of course. I'll get some suitable clothing for you."

"You aren't going to leave, are you?" she asked nervously.

"I'll send a house-elf." While he was waiting for her to emerge from the bath, he retrieved some work from his office and was starting to go through it when he heard a knock at his door. Opening it, he was surprised to find Lupin. "What do you want?" he asked sharply.

"Adrian needs you up in his study."

"Can it wait? She shouldn't be left alone." The last thing Severus wanted to do now was be questioned by the headmaster.

"The Minister is up there and insists on speaking with you. I can stay with her."

He didn't like the idea of leaving her with Lupin, but he knew that she would trust the werewolf over anyone else at the school. "Let me speak with her, first."

"Do you mind if I come in and wait?"

Grudgingly, Severus opened the door and stepped away. He sat in the chair and faced the fire until he heard the water turn off. Slipping into the bathroom, he said, "The Minister of Magic is here about recent events and wishes to speak with me. Lupin will stay with you while I'm gone if you'd like." He saw the indecisiveness in her eyes. "I will return as soon as I can."

"All right. But please hurry back."

"I will. I hope you will find one of the outfit suitable," he said, indicating several dresses hanging on the pegs. He could tell from the look in her eyes that she wanted something more, but he wasn't sure what. He reached out to touch her shoulder, and she wrapped him in an embrace, which he returned, though not as forcefully.

"Thank you," she replied softly.

He hated leaving her, but he knew that she would once again have to learn to be independent and this was a small step.

*********

When Aurelia had finished dressing, she went back into the main room and saw Remus smiling warmly at her.

"It's good to have you back. Can I get you anything? Lunch perhaps?"

"Lunch would be nice," she replied.

After he summoned an elf to bring them lunch, they sat in an awkward silence. Remus finally asked, "So, how are you feeling?"

She considered his question for several seconds. "Better, I guess. It's hard to believe that I'm not his captive anymore."

Remus smiled weakly. He had seen torture victims before, and he knew the mental scars would take a long time to heal. "It'll get better, but it will take time."

Lunch arrived and they moved to the small table under the high window and ate in silence. Aurelia stopped in mid bite. "Your Wolfsbane potion. I won't be able to get to it."

He placed his hand on hers. "Don't worry about it. Severus will brew the standard potion for me. We can continue research next month." Deciding to try to keep her mind off of anything likely to stir up guilty feelings, he started telling her about his classes, especially the ones her daughter's were in.

*********

Severus waited for the gargoyle to admit him and rode the staircase to the top. Normally, he would have walked up the stairs, but he was still collecting his thoughts. When he knocked on the door, he heard Adrian immediately reply, "Come in."

Glancing around the room, he saw that Adrian, the Minister and Harry Potter were seated by the fireplace instead of around the headmaster's desk.

"Severus, glad that you can join us. How is Aurelia this morning?"

"Somewhat better, though I believe it will be a long recovery."

"Unfortunately, I fear that you are right. I sent an owl to Marcus Stillwater last night, letting him know that we had recovered his missing Healer. I received his reply this morning and they would naturally like to examine her there."

"I will take her there when she is ready." He took the seat that Adrian offered him. "Minister," he said and nodded his head curtly. His eyes briefly met Potter's but he said nothing.

"Harry has given me a fairly detailed briefing about your search, but I would like to hear your version as well. Especially since you were the one in the room with Malfoy."

Severus bit back a scathing response and quickly recapped the events of the last week. He was interrupted several times to answer questions, but the Minister was not really interested in the specifics of the search. He was more concerned about the circumstances surrounding the capture. He explained how they had located the house and that they had managed to catch the wizard Malfoy had employed as a guard not paying attention to his duties. They had subdued both him and the house-elf Malfoy had, though the creature had been somewhat adamant about protecting his master.

The Minister finally broke the silence, "Well, that pretty much matches what Harry said. He also mentioned you have a potion for Malfoy that will allow him to testify?"

"I do. Though, due to the nature of the potion, I must be the one to administer it."

"Surely, a Healer..."

"Healer MacLean is the only one with any experience with this potion, and I will not subject her to being in his presence again."

The Minister did not look at all comfortable about being bullied. "When can you have this potion ready?"

"This afternoon. Where is he being held?"

"Azkaban, of course."

Severus grimaced. This would add time to his absence as one could not simply Floo to Azkaban. "If Aurelia is ready to go to St. Mungo's tomorrow, I will administer the potion while she is being examined."

"We need to begin our interrogation immediately."

"Minister, he can rot in Azkaban for a day or two. It will give him time to get used to his new place of residence before it becomes permanent." As he watched the Minister, he had the impression the man was hiding something, but he knew better than to use Legilimency as that was something that would surely be detected.

"Understand we need this taken care of as soon as possible. I will give you until tomorrow. If not, I will cite you for failure to cooperate with a Ministry official on official business." The Minister rose and addressed Adrian. "Thank you for your time."

Severus watched the Minister leave and Potter trailing behind. "Is that all?" he asked Adrian.

"Not all." Adrian sighed. "I know that what has happened has hurt Aurelia, and that you want to take care of her, but you do have responsibilities here. She is welcome to stay here as long as she sees fit, but I would ask you to resume at least some of your teaching responsibilities and your Deputy Headmaster duties."

"Adrian..."

The headmaster raised his hand, asking for silence. "I do not need you to teach all your classes. I arranged a substitute who is handling your lower level classes, but your more senior students do need you back in the classroom. Take another day or two and see how she is feeling. In the mean time, you can handle some of the administrative work in your quarters. We both know that she will need to return home sooner rather than later and re-assimilate back into society. She also has responsibilities and you cannot shelter her forever. Perhaps she could start spending days with Madam Pomfrey. Using her skills again might help her recovery."

Severus found that he could not argue with any of these ideas. "I will speak with her about your ideas."

"Thank you. And her children?"

"I will speak with her about that, as well."

"It had best be today. It will be in the morning paper. It all happened late enough last night that they couldn't get it in today's Daily Prophet."

"I see," Severus replied cautiously before rising to leave.

As he walked rode down the stairs, he decided he would have to bring up the girls first. That was the most important hurdle to overcome.

When he reached the bottom, he saw that Potter was waiting for him. "Is there something else you needed?"

"I just wanted to say that I thought we made a good team. I wouldn't have been able to find Malfoy without your help. Thanks for allowing me to come with you."

This was more than Severus had ever expected to get from Potter. He had spent six years tormenting the boy, punishing him for the sins of his father. "Adrian was right. I wouldn't have been able to rescue her on my own. You make an excellent Auror." He said nothing more, but Potter was not leaving and obviously expected something else. Severus thought he knew what it was, but he wasn't sure he would bring himself to say the words. He had spent so long hating both Potters, even though he knew that the younger one was not deserving of that hatred. "Thank you," Severus finally said. "For everything. You trusted me when other probably wouldn't have."

Potter smiled slightly. "You're welcome, Severus. I hope that she recovers quickly. And don't worry, I'll make sure Malfoy pays." He finally walked down the corridor, leaving Severus to make his way to the dungeon.

When he arrived, he slowly opened the door and could hear Aurelia laughing. He found that it stung that it was Lupin she was laughing with. It should have been him. Peering through the crack in the door, he saw that they were sitting across from each other by the fire. Opening the door, he said, "You may go now. Thank you for your time."

The smile did not leave Remus's face as he rose. After giving Aurelia a kiss on the cheek, he said, "I'll come by later."

"Thank you, Remus," she replied.

Severus scowled at his departing colleague.

"How did it go?" she asked.

"Much as I expected. The Minister wanted to hear my accounting of events, and I will have to take some of the potion to him so that he will be able to testify." He really didn't want to talk about it.

"And...I'll have to testify, won't I?" she asked nervously.

He led her to the sofa and held her hand. "Eventually, yes, I would expect so. Perhaps we can arrange for you to give a statement so you won't have to see him again."

"I hope so." She clung to him, drawing comfort from his presence.

He was beginning to realize that touch was very important to her, even though it made him uncomfortable, but he was not willing to tell her that, at least not now. "There is something we do need to discuss. I kept your absence from Julia and Helen, and as there was no proof you had been abducted, it was never reported in the paper. That will all change tomorrow morning. I think you should tell them what happened." While he was speaking, he had managed to extract himself from her tight embrace.

Terror once again filled her eyes. "I...I don't think I can. You do it."

He had not expected this. "Even if I tell them what happened, they will want to see you."

"And I want to see them, but I'm not ready to talk about it."

"I will try to explain that to them, but they will have questions that they may not be able to contain."

"I know. But it's just too soon."

"Marcus would also like you to go to St. Mungo's for examination."

She sighed. "I knew he would. When?"

"As soon as possible. He wants to help you recover."

"I know. It's just..." She collapsed back against him.

"You are welcome to stay here as long as you like. Adrian and I think it would be best for your recovery. When you feel up to it, you can work with Poppy in the Infirmary."

"I suppose I can't hide here with you forever, can I?" she asked almost playfully.

He was momentarily dumbstruck by her question. "Unfortunately, no." He could hardly believe what she had just said. She wanted to be with him. He decided to enjoy the feel of her in his arms for a little while longer before going to talk to the girls. "I think I should go tell them now," he said when he realized holding her any longer might lead to him behaving in a manner that she wasn't ready for. In the past, the only time a woman had touched him was a precursor to intimate behavior, and his body kept responding to her touch.

"I know."

"I'll bring them here after I'm doing speaking with them." Leaning down, he gave her a slow lingering kiss. When she placed her hand on the back of his head, he gently opened her mouth and deepened the kiss. Knowing that she was still vulnerable, he pulled away. "I'll be back soon."

"Okay," she said softly, with a tinge of disappointment. He was nearly to the door when she stopped him. "Severus?" Once he turned back to face her, she continued nervously. "Thank you for coming for me."

"I will always come for you," he replied softly. She looked as though she wanted to say more, but she remained silent.

Before taking the girls from class, he had to see where Julia was. He knew that Helen would be Potions. To his dismay, he saw that Julia had Defense Against the Dark Arts. Heading up to the third floor, he decided to get her first.

Opening the door to Lupin's classroom, he waited until he was acknowledged. "Professor Lupin, I need to speak with Miss MacLean."

"Of course. Julia, you are excused. Take your books with you."

Julia looked confused as she walked out of the classroom. Once they were in the hall walking back to the dungeons, she asked, "Professor, what's this about?"

"I will explain in a moment." He left her in his office while he went to retrieve Helen. Once both girls were seated in his office, he realized he didn't know where to start. "As you noticed, I have not been teaching classes this week. Last week, your mother sent a letter to her coworkers saying she was taking a few days off to meet with people abroad. I...found this suspicious and investigated further."

"Is mum okay?" Julia interrupted.

"She is. You may see her in a few minutes, but she asked me to explain what had happened to you. She is not really to talk about it, yet. One of the escaped Death Eaters was suffering from the same affliction that I was last summer. He wanted your mother to cure him, so he abducted her. It took me several days, but I was able to find her and bring her here. She wanted you to know since it will be in tomorrow's Prophet. I will ask that you not ask her about her captivity."

"Will she be staying here?" Julia asked as she hugged her sister.

"For a while, yes. Arrangements will be made for you to see her while she is here. She will seem different. She has been through quite a bit."

"Did he hurt her?" Helen asked, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Not physically, but there are other ways to hurt someone." And he would make Lucius pay for what he had done. He would take the cure with him, but he would make sure it was a painful cure. "Are you ready to see her?"

Both girls nodded and he led them down the hall to his quarters. Before opening the door, he said, "You are to tell no one that you have been here. These are my private quarters, and I am allowing entry as a personal favor to your mother. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Professor," they answered in unison.

Opening the door, he watched the girls rush into the room. He watched Aurelia wrap her arms around her children and they all started crying. Feeling uncomfortable with all the emotion, he said, "I will be in my office, catching up on paperwork. You can come there when they leave."

He had only just sorted through a small portion of the parchment on his desk when there was a knock at the door. "Come in," he called in an irritated voice. He doubted it would be Aurelia already.

Eileen entered his office. "I heard that you had returned. How is she doing?"

"Recovering. I'm quite busy and don't really have time to talk right now."

Undeterred, she took a seat across from him. "How are you doing? You look quite tired."

Setting down his quill, he replied. "It was a tiring search, but I will recover."

"She's staying here, correct?"

"For the time being. Do you disapprove?"

"Not at all. You do realize that everything has changed since you were last together."

"I am aware of that fact," he replied shortly.

"That's good. You just need to take it slow, let her set the pace."

He was starting to get irritated. "That is exactly what I was doing before. I do not intend to change my behavior."

"I just want to make sure that you don't do anything to push her away. I made that mistake once."

"You?" He had never thought of his mother with anyone other than his father.

"He was a nice wizard. A little older than me, but I feared that I would never find anyone else and I ended up pushing him away. But enough of that. Be there for her. And don't rush telling her love her. She might not be ready for it."

"I think that she is. When I left to get her children, she stopped me and thanked me, but I thought she wanted to say something more. I think she might have been waiting for me to say it first." He elected not to tell Eileen that he thought Aurelia had said it last night.

"Perhaps she is. You will know when the time is right. Be there for her."

"She is staying in my quarters. It is rather hard for me not to be there for her," he said dryly.

"That's not what I mean. She's going to need a lot of emotional support... And I know that you are not an emotional man. She needs to know that you are there for her, that you care for her. Touch her, hold her, reassure her. Touch is very important."

A fact that Severus has already been discovering. She almost seemed to be clinging to him at times. There was another knock at his door, and he said, "Enter."

"I sent the girls... Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you would have anyone here," Aurelia said.

Severus shared a meaningful glance with Eileen. This was not the time. "Irma came to welcome me back."

Eileen rose to her feet and crossed the room. "Aurelia, good to see you again. I'll leave the two of you alone."

Once they were alone, Aurelia said, "Thank you for bringing them by. I know they must have questions, but they were very well behaved.

Severus gave up on trying to get any work done and rose from his desk. "They are better behaved than most their age and they were quick to grasp the severity of the situation."

"Oh, I don't know that it's that severe. I just need time to sort through it all."

"Did you want to return to my quarters?"

"I'd like to take a walk, get out a bit. I was trapped in that room for far too long."

"The weather is not very pleasant, but I do know that greenhouse two should be deserted. We could walk there."

She smiled warmly. "I'd like that."

After they retrieved their cloaks, he led her to the greenhouses, grateful that it was during class. The last thing he needed were the students gossiping about his personal life. As he had suspected greenhouse two was deserted. Leaving their cloaks by the door, he wrapped his arm around her as they walked through exotic plants. When they reached a bench by a small fountain, they both sat down. Neither one of them had said anything since leaving his office.

He watched her, trying to evaluate the changes her captivity had wrought. She looked up at him and he could see the pain in pale blue eyes. But behind the pain was something else. Placing his hand on her cheek, he tried to determine what he should say. Was the time right? Was she waiting for him? How would he say it?

She reached up and gently brushed his lips with hers. She remained close to him and whispered, "I love you, Severus."

His heart nearly leapt out of his chest. He was too surprised to speak or move for several seconds. The words finally stumbled out of his mouth, "I love you, too."

She crawled onto his lap and kissed him deeply.

After a few seconds, he gently pushed her away. He didn't want to take advantage of her. "Aurelia," he said cautiously.

She placed her fingers on his lips. "I've wanted to do this for a long time. I was just too scared before. Life is too short for me to be so silly." Leaning forward she kissed him urgently, letting him know how she felt.

Between the way she was kissing him and the fact she was sitting on his lap, he had a hard time concentrating on the fact the timing might not be right. When she finally broke the kiss, they were both panting. "Perhaps we should head back to the castle?" he offered.

She nodded and let him lead her out of the greenhouse.

**********

A/N: As always, I would like to thank Zen Lady and nota for their help with this story. They are both wonderful beta readers who keep me in line. Now, you may all commence throwing rocks at me for ending on that sort of cliffhanger. I will do my best to have the next update not take quite as long as the last couple have taken. I have wrapped up one of the projects I was working on and another is nearing completion, so I should be able to get the muses to pay more attention to this story.