Craziness and Comforting

Craziness and Comforting

---

'Susan's nightmares are getting worse,' said Ron, rubbing his eyes. 'I suppose I can't blame her for them, the way the news is going, but I need some sleep.' Susan was living in a flat above Gladrags' Diagon Alley shop, and Ron had been sharing her double bed since November, after some initial reluctance from his parents. Hermione had asked him whether Susan had told her parents that he was living with her, and he'd admitted that so far, he was "staying somewhere in London" and simply "happened to be visiting" every time her parents came round.

'Are the nightmares still the one she mentioned, where she finds your dead body?' Harry asked him. He stroked Crookshanks, who was rubbing against his legs, hoping to be fed.

'Yes. I ought to be the one who has nightmares, but I don't get them very often.'

'She probably feels more powerless than you do,' suggested Hermione. 'You're learning how to track and defeat Death Eaters in Auror training, and she's learning how to wrap up robes for owl order customers.'

'Yes. Yes, that is quite a difference, isn't it? She didn't have Harry as a best friend at school, either, with all that that meant. Perhaps I should teach her some of what I'm learning, to see if it helps her .'

Harry laughed. 'Does knowing me for all those years give you a year's head start on Auror training?'

'No, only ten months,' said Ron with a grin. 'Remember, I didn't actually face Quirrell, or the Basilisk, or learn to fight off Dementors. I think our trainer was joking when he said you would have got four years taken off your training time, with your experience.'

'Four years off a three-year training course?' asked Harry, amused. 'Yes, that has to be a joke.'

'They'd owe you a year's back pay for your time in the seventh year,' said Hermione, smiling. 'Actually, that does make sense. After all, you did kill Voldemort then.'

'Don't be silly.'

'She's not,' said Ron. 'I know you got that Order of Merlin for killing him, but she's right -- you did more good then than all the Aurors together ever managed, and everyone owes you still. I know the Death Eaters are back, but there's only been that one attack to prove it. You-Know ...' Ron took a deep breath and forced himself to say, 'Voldemort is dead, and that means they're still scared to attack, I hope.'

'There's plenty of panic, though,' said Harry glumly.

The Daily Prophet was now regularly running stories about sightings of Death Eaters, though there was never enough evidence to prove that any Death Eater was actually there. The Aurors hadn't learnt the names of any of the supposed newly-recruited Death Eaters, either. All they had to go on was rumours, such as the disappearance of Draco Malfoy, along with some of his Slytherin friends. The Ministry had tried to get them to calm the tone of such stories, but that had just led to the Prophet printing a front-page story "Ministry covers up Death Eater attacks" and reminding its readership of the Ministry's earlier refusal to acknowledge the truth in Harry's story of Voldemort's return. The story left no reader (at least, no reader who had missed the paper that year) in any doubt of the Prophet's own unceasing campaign against all forms of Ministry deceit and cover-ups.

'I know. That one in Oxtemple was dreadful,' said Hermione, wincing as she recalled the story she'd read. Two of the villagers had seen someone walking along the main street who they recognised, but couldn't quite place, and had challenged him, assuming he must have been one of the Death Eaters whose pictures had been in the Prophet. The man said he had a letter in his pocket to prove he wasn't a Death Eater, but one of the two, thinking that the man was going to take out his wand and curse them, had attacked. Others had joined in.

The man was now recovering in St Mungo's; he wasn't a Death Eater, or even a wizard. He was a Squib, working at the local bakery, where his attackers had often seen him without ever paying attention to him. Two of those attackers, the ones who'd done the most harm, were now under arrest, but the Aurors hadn't wanted to arrest almost a fifth of the village's population.

'That incident gave us a new name for these panics -- the Oxtemple Effect,' said Ron. 'I'm getting trained to deal with them; handling crowd control, basically. We have to -- they're injuring more people than the Death Eaters are, and Aurors are getting called in because people think there are Death Eaters there. We have to go and check them all -- imagine if we didn't, and it turned out that one wasn't a false alarm.'

'Do you ever wonder if it's only Mulciber and Travers?' asked Harry. 'I mean, there was one attack by the two of them, and now there's all this panic, and people getting hurt without them having to do anything. Maybe they're not recruiting anyone else, they're just letting us kill each other, while they stay in hiding.'

'Nobody's died from the Oxtemple Effect yet. It might not be long before they do, though.' Ron stretched. 'Sorry, I've got to get home. If I get enough sleep this evening before we go to bed, maybe I'll feel better in the morning.'

'I suppose you could move back to the Burrow,' Harry suggested.

'No. It's not her fault she has nightmares, and I can't just ignore her, or leave her. I can't help feeling that I ought to be able to do more to reassure her. I know I'm still in training, but it's been five months now, and she's getting more worried. How bad are they going to be when I'm a full Auror, actually facing these people? I wish I could make her nightmares go away forever, though, instead of just reassuring her when they happen. I suppose you don't have nightmares.'

'Some,' admitted Harry.

'So do I. I expect everyone does now,' said Hermione. 'That must be why you can't get that Dreamless Sleep potion without going on a waiting list now.'

'Yeah. Well, OK, I just thought that, as you never mention them...' He changed the subject. 'You two still haven't slept together, have you?'

Both blushed. 'No,' said Harry. 'We did fall asleep on the couch once, but not in the way you mean.'

'I didn't think so. I don't want to go back to sleeping alone, so I guessed that you'd never done anything but sleep alone. Well, I'll see you. Bill said he might come round tomorrow, by the way.' Ron stood up and Disapparated back to Susan's flat.

'It seems we're obviously innocent,' said Harry wryly. 'Oh well. Maybe even Fred and George will notice that.'

'Maybe they will,' Hermione agreed, looking thoughtfully at the point where Ron had vanished. Crookshanks took advantage of her distraction to leap up onto her lap.

*

A couple of days later, Harry was searching through the pantry when Hermione got home from work. He greeted her and asked, 'Do you know where the Dreamless Sleep potions are?'

She laughed. 'Why would they be in there? I finished mine last night. You keep them in the bathroom cabinet, don't you?'

'Usually. I finished mine last night too. I suppose that makes sense, we started taking them the same day, and bought six flasks to split.'

'Oh. I came home via Diagon Alley today, to check. There's still been too much demand recently, and I'm two weeks down the waiting list still.' She frowned. 'I've only used two flasks, not three. Though I did give Ron one, last month, to help Susan.'

'Oh. Bill mentioned a couple of weeks ago that he couldn't find any, so I gave him one for their mother.'

'So we don't have any, and can't get any for at least a week, probably two, according to the sign in one window,' Hermione summed up. 'If we wanted to make our own, we should have realised this earlier.'

'Ron and Susan must have used up their flask by now,' said Harry, nodding. 'I'm not sure I'd want to try a potion like that if I'd brewed it.'

'It's easier to buy it, but now ... I suppose we ought to see if we can brew our own. Even if I start it, though, you'll have to do some of the stages while I'm at work.'

'OK, that's probably better than putting me in charge,' he said with a smile.

'I don't suppose there's any left of the one you gave Bill, as he said that he's having nightmares as well as Mrs Weasley. Then there's Ron's dad, and the twins ...' She pursed her lips. 'I'll check the ingredients, anyway.'

'Good point. Do you think they have nightmares about Ron, too?'

'I suppose so; Mrs Weasley was having them, before he'd even left school. I hope she's calmer now that he's officially learning how to cope. I was surprised that Bill has nightmares about him -- but I suppose he's being the protective older brother.'

Harry nodded, and didn't say anything else until after they'd had a light meal, and were sitting in the lounge. For a change, he sat in one of the armchairs. Hermione sat in another armchair, which faced his.

'I had a nightmare about my work last night,' she admitted.

'You did?'

'I've been working in the room with the Time-Turners for the past couple of weeks,' she explained. Harry nodded. He remembered what had happened in that room all too well. She continued, 'You remember our fifth year ...'

'... Dolohov seriously injured you, and I thought he'd killed you,' he finished for her.

She nodded. 'I was dreaming that I'm working in there, doing whatever I've been doing during the day, and then Dolohov bursts in and attacks me again. I know it's stupid. I know he's locked away in Azkaban.' The wizard prison was now guarded by security trolls, since the Dementors' revolt.

'I know that too, and it doesn't stop my nightmares either. I don't understand what you're doing in there, so in my nightmares, you're just doing something like watching that bird and egg, or putting Time-Turners up on the shelves. But then Dolohov bursts in, just like in yours.'

'Oh. I thought perhaps your nightmares were about you playing Quidditch and your team-mates being attacked.' She added, 'The egg has been replaced by a flower, which grows from a seed and then reverts again. It takes longer -- or would, if the chamber hadn't been improved.'

'Ah. I suppose my nightmares are about you, because I'm not playing Quidditch at the moment, but you're back at the Department of Mysteries every weekday ... and the only time I've been there -- well, I saw you almost die.' After they'd both been quiet for a few moments, he added, 'I thought you were dead, for a while. I can't get over that memory. Ron is safer at the moment, because he's still just training -- he doesn't have to go out yet and get involved. I supposed when he finishes the training, and has to go out facing Death Eaters --' The thought occurred to him that he'd have nightmares about both Hermione and Ron when that happened, and he didn't finish his sentence.

'I did tell you that the security's much better, didn't I? In the Department as well as the Ministry?'

'You told me. I haven't seen it though. Nightmares are based on imagination and memories, even if my memories are out of date now.'

'Maybe you should come and visit the Ministry again. You said you might; then you'd see the changes.'

'I should,' Harry agreed. 'Maybe it would help. But you've seen the security, and you still have nightmares. It doesn't help you.' He sighed. 'I wonder if there really are just those two Death Eaters, and they haven't recruited Malfoy or the others.'

'Do you think that Malfoy's just hiding for the fun of it, then?'

Harry sighed. 'No. There must be a reason why he's vanished, instead of strutting around spending lots of his money, like normal. I just don't like the obvious one. I prefer the idea there's only two Death Eaters left, and that they're counting on panic. Maybe Malfoy's secretly got a job teaching at Durmstrang, and nobody at the Ministry knows? I can imagine him wanting to keep quiet about having a job.' He grinned, since being rude about Malfoy was something he much preferred to talking about nightmares.

'It would be better if there are only two to catch. Although, would people believe their threat was over, even if they were caught? If there's only two of them doing it, there's only two that the Aurors can catch, and a lot of people might think there were still others around. They already let Rookwood go, didn't they?' Rookwood's father and uncle were Death Eaters, and she'd been arrested on suspicion, but no evidence had been found to link her to Voldemort or the others. 'I suppose, even with Veritaserum, people will worry that they've somehow managed to find an antidote. They'd believe after a while, when nothing else was found, though.'

'It should all have ended when I killed Voldemort. Then that Squib wouldn't be in St Mungo's, and none of the other panics would be happening.'

*

On Sunday evening, Harry was still trying to get to sleep when he heard Hermione crying out from downstairs. He realised that she must be having a nightmare, and wondered if he should go and reassure her. Then he wondered if that would be betraying her trust in him. As he lay there, torn by his indecision, she stopped, having presumably either woken herself up or calmed down in her sleep.

He didn't mention it at breakfast the next day, but brought it up when she came home from the Ministry and they were having supper.

'Yes, I woke up,' she confirmed. 'At least, I did about three times -- you probably heard one of them. I wouldn't have minded being woken earlier.'

'I just felt awkward. I suppose I wouldn't mind either.'

'It's easier for Ron, since he and Susan share a bed anyway.' She blushed. 'I mean ... no, I didn't mean ...' She just stopped and stared down at her plate.

'But you're right. He doesn't need to ask, or worry how she'd react if he went into her room.' She nodded without meeting his eyes. He told her, 'I know you weren't suggesting anything, anyway.'

'The second time I woke up, it sounded as if you were having a nightmare. I didn't know what to do either.' She looked at him. 'Was yours the same nightmare?' He nodded, and she said, 'Mine was different. I'd been working with the flower on Friday, recording its rate of change to check that it's constant. In my nightmare, it was that Death Eater that fell into it, instead of the flower, and I was recording how he changed.'

To take her mind off the nightmares, Harry said, 'That doesn't sound very taxing work.'

'No, but I'm the newest one in the Department, so I don't get the best things to do.'

'All those NEWTs, and you just have to stand there with a clipboard and a stopwatch?'

'Something like that. I've got a chair to sit in, though,' she added with a smile.

'After being top of every class at Hogwarts, I'd think that just your normal day would be enough of a nightmare.'

'No, I understand why it's me they've got doing that. I hope I can go back into the room with the brains soon, though. I had fewer nightmares when I worked in there.'

'That sounds better. Odd, but better. Do you feel like talking about food, instead of nightmares? I was bored enough, while you were at work, that I listed what we've got in the pantry.'

'Yes, let's do that.' They compared the list with the ingredients needed for some of the recipes in Harry's cookery books, and decided on three that would help use up some of the items.

'OK, once we've got some more space in there, it'll finally be worth getting the ingredients for your mother's lasagne recipe.' Harry stretched. 'Not today though. I don't think I slept very well. Even the nap I had didn't help. It just meant I had daymares.'

'Maybe you need a teddy bear.' After a moment's thought, she added, 'Maybe I do, too.'

'I never had one of those. Did you?'

'Yes. I don't know where it is now -- I didn't take it to Hogwarts. It's probably in a cupboard at home. I mean, at my parents'.' She smiled wistfully. 'I remember when I was young, and had nightmares my teddy couldn't comfort me about. I'd go and sleep in my parents' bed for the rest of the night. It must have been a problem for them. I wasn't old enough then to think about things like that.'

Harry just sat looking at her, thinking about what it must have been like to do that, to feel the reassuring closeness of parents. Hermione winced. 'I'm sorry. You could never do that, could you?' He shook his head. She looked even more apologetic. 'I shouldn't have mentioned it.'

'No, don't worry about that, it sounds nice. I was trying to imagine it.' He added, 'I'm glad I get on OK with your parents.' He laughed, 'Though I don't think I get on that well!'

'No! I'm glad you do, too,' she said with a smile. 'I think that it helps that you grew up in the Muggle world, because you can understand the little things that are different.'

'I'd never thought about that. You're right -- if I'd actually grown up with my parents, all these things like electricity and TV would be really odd. Unless my mother wanted electricity in the house because she was Muggle-born and used to it.'

'I want a girl, just like the girl, who married dear old Dad,' quoted Hermione. Seeing Harry's blank look, she told him, 'It's from an old song. Your mother was Muggle-born, and now you're dating a Muggle-born.'

Harry blinked. 'I hadn't thought of you like that. You've always been just you.'

*

After Hermione returned home from the following day's work, they again discussed their nightmares.

'Your nightmare was contagious,' Harry told Hermione. 'Now I'm having the one about the Death Eater who's trapped in that time loop thing, while Dolohov sneaks up behind you. I don't know where I'm supposed to be in the dream, but I'm gagged or something and can't warn you.'

'Mine changed too,' she said quietly. 'I was thinking about what I described as your "saving-people thing" before I fell asleep last night. So in my nightmare, Dolohov pointed his wand and cast his curse, but you jumped in front of me. I cursed Dolohov back, and I was safe, but you were dead. I had that same one twice. It scares me more than the one where he kills me.'

'Maybe we both have a "saving-people" thing,' suggested Harry, only half-jokingly.

'Maybe. I was thinking again about when I was little and scared. It was very comforting back then to have someone friendly -- my parents -- in the bed.'

Harry wasn't sure why she'd brought that up again. 'But now you're too old? Poor old Hermione.'

She didn't meet his eyes. 'Maybe not.'

'I've been wondering about that.' He tried to keep his tone neutral as he said, 'You probably would be safer if you moved back there, and you'd probably be more comfortable, knowing your parents were around. It would look as if you'd broken up with me, as well as moving out, so you wouldn't be a target for any Death Eaters wanting to get at me.'

'That wasn't at all what I meant!' she protested, looking him in the eye now. 'We've hugged before. I'm just not sure ...' She trailed off, her face growing pinker.

'Midnight hugs to get rid of nightmares?' Harry asked. 'You mean, Apparating to hug the one who's having a nightmare?'

'I wouldn't want to Apparate when I was half-asleep.' She took a deep breath. 'I was thinking of doing what I did when I was little. Though ... since we're getting the nightmares every night now anyway, there's not much point in waiting until one happens.'

Harry frowned, wondering what she meant, but sure she didn't mean spending the night with him.

'I don't mean making love -- we'd still keep this on an innocent level, just sleeping in separate beds in the same room. Only if we do have nightmares would one of us move to the other's bed. But I think it would help. What do you think?'

'I'm ... surprised. I can see what you mean, though. Ron seems to think that sort of closeness helps Susan, or at least reassures her.'

There was a short silence before she asked. 'Do you want to try it?'

'Yes.' He grinned. 'Your place or mine?' Ron's old bed was still in Harry's room, and Ginny's was still in Hermione's. Harry thought they'd better move the portrait of Phineas Nigellus to another room, if they chose his, to avoid hearing his opinions of what they were doing. Phineas had been much quieter since the death of his great-great-grandson, almost as if suffering from shock.

She grinned back. 'I don't know. I didn't get any further with this than wondering how you'd react.'

'I'll try not to "react",' he said, deliberately misinterpreting her comment.

'I didn't mean like that -- though as long as you agree this idea is just about nightmares, and not anything erotic, I suppose I wouldn't mind, if you couldn't avoid it; not if it does help us cope with the nightmares.'

'Nightmares. You know, we've finally driven each other mad? I have nightmares about you dying, and you've started having nightmares about me dying.'

*

'How do you feel?' he asked.

She groaned. 'Odd. Did I hit you in my sleep? I don't remember what my nightmare was, anyway, just feeling scared and getting into your bed.'

'I don't think you hit me. Hello and good morning to you, too.' They'd chosen his room to share. As Hermione said, it was his house, after all. Even being in different beds in the same room, they'd both felt odd, and had wound up talking for a while, trying to get over the strangeness.

She smiled. 'Sorry. I must have dreamt it or something, that's why it's the first thing I thought of.'

'First you drove me mad, and now you dream of attacking me! Anyway, I don't remember waking up at all. I suppose I just felt better knowing we were together. If we do this again, maybe you will, too.' He grinned. 'And I feel more innocent because I didn't get into bed with you.'

'Oh, Harry!' She was grinning though. 'I don't remember having any nightmares after changing beds.' She stretched, almost hitting him. 'Sorry. I'll go down to my room and get up.' She paused. 'I think that made sense.'

'Almost.' He stretched too, carefully, and said, 'Crookshanks is probably wondering where you've got to.'

Hermione, now standing by his bed, stretched again. 'Probably. Just as well the twins aren't around, wondering that. They'd be convinced they were right all along.' She straightened a twisted pyjama sleeve.

'We're going to have nightmares about them soon,' said Harry, getting out of bed. 'They'd be worse -- they definitely know where we live!'

She laughed and left for her room.

---

Coming next: Romance for two other people, insulting Tonks, and Harry finds something worthwhile he can do. Plus a nightmare.

---