Worth a Thousand Words

"Sir," Tom began, and discovered that any coherent method of making his request had suddenly fled his mind. Much good being let in on the results of the Weasley twins' eavesdropping did him if he couldn't even bring himself to mention the items from Voldemort's years at Hogwarts that had been confiscated.

It wasn't that he wanted any of the Dark Arts paraphernalia. But it wasn't as if he'd had that many pictures of his mother... surely it was safe?

Dumbledore regarded him thoughtfully. "You've learned of the incident in Knockturn Alley, then."

Well, that simplified things. Sort of. Omniscient headmasters, Tom thought a bit wildly. "I... yes. I heard there was... a photo among the items."

"Those items had been used for Voldemort's practice in the Dark Arts, Tom."

He swallowed. "I know. I don't want those. But I don't remember having any pictures except of my mother...."

"The picture of your mother was tainted as well," Dumbledore told him, very gently. "I did consider that it would be of value to you. Unfortunately, it could not be cleansed without destroying it."

Tom paled drastically enough that Dumbledore put out a hand, honestly thinking the boy might faint. Tom took a step back instead, though, and walked away, the thought that it was both rude and unwise to dodge and leave the headmaster without speaking pounding against his skull ... but having no effect whatsoever on his feet.

He passed people in the halls without really noticing who they were or even in most cases that they were there. Harry turned in bewilderment when he was literally brushed by with no acknowledgement of his greeting. "What on earth...."

"That was rude," Ron observed. "And especially for a Slytherin, he usually isn't."

"He's going the wrong way for the library...."

This last observation was proven still more clearly when Ginny turned up a few minutes later, carrying three books on potions, to ask whether anyone had seen him.

Upon consultation, Fred said that he and George had told Tom about some of You-Know-Who's items from a long time back having been seized in Knockturn Alley ("I just bet Malfoy was getting rid of them, but STILL no proof...."). Notebooks sounded potentially alarming but not likely to get that sort of distracted reaction. A scarf, similar. A collection of orange seeds, just a bit strange. A photo, and when they'd mentioned that, Tom had gone white.

Tom had also mentioned needing to speak to Dumbledore before their meeting, and so Harry and some of the others concluded they would ask the Headmaster, while Ginny went on a Riddle-hunt.

Searching the library and assorted classrooms garnered only puzzled looks from a number of professors and a glower from Snape that sent Ginny scurrying for cover. Although, on reflection, he really shouldn't be THAT annoyed. It was his class she was carrying books for!

On further reflection, she decided that the books could stay behind and be retrieved later instead of weighing her down. She dropped them off on her bed and stopped to think. Common areas seemed to be out, unless Tom was moving around and she'd just missed him. She should have asked her brothers or Harry how they found people....

Not indoors, she decided, and didn't like the conclusion. Theoretically he could be in the Slytherin dorm, but that seemed unlikely -- too populated -- if he wasn't in the mood for company.

The Dementors were supposed to stay at the borders of the grounds. She still had to take a very deep breath before she slipped outside.

Hagrid's hut and the surrounding pens -- nothing. He wasn't likely to be inside, not when Hagrid himself was. She glanced nervously at a shadow, feeling renewed guilt with the memory that Hagrid had been to Azkaban for something she'd been doing....

Maybe the Quidditch field. Or a tree.

Ginny stopped to peer up into the branches of several trees as she passed them on the way to the Quidditch field. If no one was practicing, maybe Tom would have gone there to fly... although it would've been nice if he had mentioned this change in plans.

There was nobody in the air over the field. There was, however, a lone figure standing at the very edge of it.

Ginny walked deliberately a little ways downfield, thinking perhaps she should avoid sneaking up behind him the way she had in Care of Magical Creatures, then made her way past the stands and onto the sidelines of the field.

There were no brooms in evidence, which suggested fairly strongly that flight -- at least in the literal sense -- had not been uppermost on Tom's mind.

He didn't look up at her as she drew nearer. It seemed to have rained at some point while they were in class; there was still cloud cover, and the grass was wet. Ginny was glad she'd thought to grab her cloak. Tom apparently hadn't, although he didn't appear to have noticed.

She stopped next to him, still having received no sign of notice. "Missed you at the library," she finally said quietly.

"Sorry," Tom said without looking up. "Got some bad news, thought I'd take a walk."

She shrugged. "It's all right, I just wondered where you were. I found my brothers and Harry; they said they'd seen you leave. What happened?" She paused. No reply. "Or I can go, if you'd rather be by yourself."

"No, it's -- it's all right." His eyes flickered up, then back down at the ground. "I went to talk to Professor Dumbledore about... Voldemort's things. I thought... but it all had to be destroyed."

Ginny shivered a little, and not really from the chill in the air. She mostly associated Tom's handwriting with Potions recipes now. Mostly. It wasn't that unreasonable, she reminded herself. If the collection was from early enough, the things would have been his once; there could have been something he'd miss. Certainly he hadn't gotten to bring much with him, not as a memory. "What did you want from them?"

She couldn't keep quite all the uneasiness out of her voice. It wasn't that she thought he had nefarious motives; it was just that talking about -- about You-Know-Who's school... artifacts still made her nervous.

Tom toed the ground. "Well... I should've known better. It was stupid to think -- but, well, the twins said there was a picture. Of my mother. And I... well, it couldn't be -- Dumbledore said, it had been used for something, and couldn't be -- made safe, without destroying it."

The picture. He'd had a picture of his mother. And then... it had been tainted beyond recovery. Thinking he might be able to get it back and then learning that must have been worse even than thinking it had been lost.... "Oh, Tom. I'm so sorry."

Tom raised haunted eyes to meet Ginny's sympathetic ones. "What could he have needed -- how could he have --" Tom's knees buckled, and he sat down hard on the turf. "I just don't understand."

"I don't either." Ginny crouched beside him, catching up her cloak before too much of it could trail in the wet grass and throwing part of it over his shoulders. She settled her arm there and left it... he felt cold. What in the Dark Arts would require a picture of your mother?

The question brought her own mother to mind and turned her stomach at the same time.

"I never knew her, you know. She died... when I was born. And then, in the orphanage, sometimes I'd wonder about her."

Ginny nodded, thinking about when he'd said it must be nice to have brothers to stick up for you.... She could barely imagine not being surrounded by family. It had been bizarre when Ron left, and still, she'd had her parents there.... "It must've been hard...."

"Yeah."

She gave up and knelt on the grass; the crouching was awkward, and starting to make her toes go numb. The sort of half-hug was awkward enough in itself -- Tom was not accustomed to being cuddly, and she'd seen him look at her and her brothers a bit oddly on occasions when one or another of them scooped her up, to tease her or just to hug or move her. She wasn't even quite sure if he'd registered the cloak.

But... she'd have wanted a hug, if it had been her. She thought. "I'm sorry," she said again.

Tom laughed sharply. "You didn't do anything." He blinked, noticing the cloak. "Oh. Thanks. Chillier out here than I thought."

"You weren't paying much attention. I can see why," Ginny murmured. "And I'm still sorry about... all of it."

"Well... thanks, then." Tom shivered, and not from the cold. "I can't stop thinking about... what he might have needed it for."

"I don't know." I don't think I want to know.

"I... don't think I'll be able to study Potions today. Sorry. I think I just, I need some time." Tom's shoulders shook soundlessly, but his voice remained steady. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

She suspected that this translated to 'Go away before I start crying.' Well... he wasn't likely to be attracting creatures that fed on joy.... "Don't worry about Potions." Ginny hesitated, then hugged him quickly and took off her cloak, dropping it on him in case he was planning to stay out there. She wouldn't be too cold if she walked quickly. "I'll see you, then."

*****