A Case of the Potters

"Poor little old human beings - they're jerked into this world without having any idea where they came from or what they are supposed to do, or how long they have to do it in. Or where they are gonna wind up after that. But bless their hearts, most of them wake up every morning and keep on trying to make some sense out of it. Why, you can't help but love them, can you? I just wonder why more of them aren't as crazy as betsy bugs." - Aunt Elner, 1978 from Welcome to the World, Baby Girl by Fannie Flagg.

A Case of the Potters

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!"

Lily Evans groaned and burrowed her head into her Arithmancy textbook.

Remus grinned over at her, his tired grey eyes reflecting the light of the guttering candles. "That bad, huh? Is it just the Arithmancy or is it something else?"

"No it's just this thing," she said, grimacing.

"With James," Remus said, pulling a chair around to Lily's side of the table.

"I hate him, I really do. But he's just-I've just been picturing him and me," she broke off. "It's horrible. There's something wrong with me I think."

"James isn't a monster, Lily," Remus said gently. "He's a conceited bullying git, but he's no monster."

"Yes, but why him, Remus? Why the smarmiest git that ever walked into the Gryffindor common room?" Lily sighed dramatically.

"Gee, I dunno," Remus said jokingly. "Because he's great at Quidditch, has bags of money and the brains to go with it. Not to mention quite attractive in his own way. I don't normally go for the messy hair and round glasses look myself but he gets his fair share of female attention."

Lily shook her dark red hair out of her eyes and tied it back into a scruffy ponytail. "Surely I'm not that superficial."

"Anyone's superficial when it comes to James," Remus replied. "Except me."

"Oh yeah." Lily changed tack. "How's your love life going?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "It's non-existent. I think I'm the only gay Wizard ever." Remus had 'come out' to Lily in his fourth year. They were really close friends, which was great because they had been named to two Gryffindor fifth year prefects and were possibly the only two studious Gryffindors in Hogwarts. "Anyway, we were talking about you, so don't change the subject. I'm not important."

"I hate talking about me and him. It's disgusting."

"Believe it or not Lily, James is completely in 'love' with you and won't rest until your name is up on the Potter wall of dating fame. Just keep on playing hard to get and you'll drive him mad." Remus grinned slyly.

"I do not play hard to get," Lily exclaimed. "Remus!"

"Sorry," he said, laughing. "But you take every opportunity you can to use your prefectly powers to yell at him, tell him you hate him and storm off flicking your gorgeous hair. You're a flirt, Evans. Face it."

Lily punched him weakly in the arm. "Thanks sweetie," she said, sarcastically, smiling at her friend. "You're a pal. Just tell James what a git he is himself next time so I don't have to do it for you." She knew Remus hated confrontation with his less academically inclined friends.

Remus threw his textbook at her and when James, Sirius and Peter came in, they were engaged in throwing balls of parchment at each other.

James leaned against the portrait hole and raised his eyebrow. "Nice Evans," he drawled in the deep voice that he seemed to reserve especially for her.

Lily looked at him with contempt. "Stuff you Potter." With that, she undid her ponytail, flicked her long shiny red hair around her shoulders and said, "I'm going to study in my dorm, Remus. The air has suddenly become foul in here."

Remus shook his head with silent laughter. Lily was such a flirt. James didn't seem to have noticed and just stared longingly after her.

"Remus, does she really hate me?" he asked sadly.

Remus stared at him, screwing up his nose in thought. To tell or not to tell? A plan came into his mind. "She hates you with a passion James," he said. "Seriously, don't make asking her out a daily ritual and be a bit nicer to Snape and all the Slytherins."

James thought about it. "Okay," he said. "Right. Thanks Remus, you're a pal."

Man, you don't know the half of it, Remus thought, grinning inside.

*

Lily walked into the library the day before their final OWL, Potions, and almost keeled over in shock. A dark head with round glasses and beautiful hazel eyes, James Potter, was sitting at a round table by himself, studying.

"Well, this is a place I don't normally see you, Potter," she said sarcastically.

"I'm studying Evans. We mighty ones do occasionally do this," James replied, not even looking up from One thousand and one Magical Brews.

Lily took a plunge. "Then you won't mind if I study at this table too," she said, dropping her pile of books down on the table with a resounding THUNK.

James viewed this with detached disdain. "Yeah, whatever."

For an hour, they studied their Potions notes silently, before James broke the ice. "Why are you here, Evans? Is this just another ploy to make my life miserable with what I can't and never will have?"

"Okay, James," Lily said, icily. "I'll 'date' you, let you have your glory on Hogsmeade Weekend next week if you prove to me by then that you are a caring sensitive person underneath all your arrogance." With that, she picked up her books and stormed out of the library.

Once outside the doors she leaned against the wall, head in her hand, thinking. What the hell was she doing? Straightening herself up and blinking her brilliant green eyes, Lily wandered up to the Gryffindor common room in search of Remus. Ah well, he'd never be good enough anyway.

*

The week passed quickly, due to the final exams. James tried everything in his power to convince Lily that he was a truly kind person, from helping a first year Gryffindor out of a sinking staircase to wishing Snape a good day. The latter was almost worth the effort just to see the look on the poncy git's face, he mused. However, the Hogsmeade weekend was fast approaching and Lily was still not convinced. He could tell by the scornful glances she shot his way that she believed the things he had done were no more than trifles, things he should be doing as a normal human being anyway. Remus confirmed that.

"James, mate. You've got to think big," he said, glancing at his watch before their Charms practical. "Lily is not going to be impressed by you helping a poor little first year."

Sirius disagreed. "Nah, that's probably the nicest thing Jamesy has ever done," he said, slapping James on the back and laughing, his dark eyes gleaming.

Suddenly James felt awfully shallow.

*

Lily was satisfied. She was in Hogsmeade with Remus in tow. James had not done anything remotely selfless so she didn't have to go to Hogsmeade with him. Her and Remus were 'dating', mainly to quash rumors that Remus was gay. Also, Lily thought, it meant James Potter would leave her alone. By the end of the holidays, she'd be over her crush. Plus, her hair was all sleek and shiny - Maybe it was the new conditioner, she mused.

"Hey, Remus. D'you want to get cold drinks?" Lily said.

"Sure," he replied. She sensed he felt slightly uncomfortable and their usual conversations about school, love and life in general had been disbanded.

The drinks, on reflection, had been a mistake. No sooner had they entered The Three Broomsticks had they seen James, Peter and Sirius. Sirius stood up and waved them over wildly before being dragged down by James who had suddenly gone very pink. Remus raised his eyebrows slightly. "Would you rather get the drinks or be besieged by three hormonic boys?"

"I'll get the drinks," Lily said, groaning slightly. James was not who she wanted to see at the moment.

She ordered two magic mocktails from Madame Blanca and sat down next to Remus in the stall they were sitting in.

"Hi Lily," James said quietly. His voice, for the first time ever, stayed the same as usual and this made Lily feel slightly dizzy.

"I feel a bit off-colour, Remus. I'm going to go outside," she said with a strained voice. Remus moved to follow her after she'd pushed her way through but James touched his arm.

"I'll go, Mate," he said quietly. "I need to talk to her anyway."

Remus watched James thread his way easily through the crowd. His thin body was decidedly graceful and he was good at winding his way through people, smiling his charming smile as he went and making people swoon. Within moments, he was through the crowds of Hogwarts students and outside. He found Lily outside, leaning against the wall of the pub. Her head was in her hands and her green eyes were sparkling with tears. She was beautiful.

"Lily," James said, pulling her into him. For moments, he stood there patting her back and unable to move, amazed that he was able to do this. Last time he had tried anything with her, she'd slapped him around the face.

She seemed to recollect herself and tried to push away. "No," she whispered. "Not you."

"Lily, can I talk to you?" James asked carefully. He didn't like being bitchslapped. She nodded mutely and allowed herself to be dragged behind the pub where there were a few empty seats and trees. "Sit," he said. She sat. "Lily, I'm going to be completely honest with you and say that I really really like you, maybe even love you. I know you hate me but could you possibly give me a chance? I'm not a monster."

His words choked Lily up. "But I'm with Remus..." she replied weakly. The folds of her dark red hair covered her ears and James was so close that he could see the tiny freckles on the bridge of her nose.

"Remus?" James said incredulously. "But he's gay."

Lily looked up, eyes wide and fearful. "What? He told you?"

James sighed. "No," he said quietly. "I've seen him watching Sirius. He looks at him the same way I feel about you."

"And you don't care?" Lily asked, her heart thumping.

James raised his eyebrows. "Why would I? Remus is my friend, Lil. I don't abandon my friends because of insignificant things like that and if you can't realise that then maybe you're not the one for me." With that, he turned on his heel and ran from the area.

Bugger, Lily thought watching his dark hair bob from her view. I'm in love. Sighing, she hitched up her robes and made to follow him. He was moving fast and was at the edge of the castle when she finally caught up with him.

"What the hell do you want now, Evans?" he said. "Come to tell me how pathetic my feelings are, come to rub me even more into the dirt? Because I can't take this crap anymore."

Lily drew herself up slightly, ready to yell. Then she stopped. "No," she said softly, so that James had to strain to hear. "I've come to tell you that maybe I feel...Maybe the way I act isn't the way I feel about you." She turned away but James caught the sleeve of her robes.

"Lily?" It was a question. She nodded and their lips met. She ran her hands through his messy black hair and felt his hands exploring her back, making her shiver. It wasn't the most technically brilliant kiss. James was over-eager and Lily too tense, but the fact that it was with James, the monster who had once tormented her life, made it the best kiss in the world.

On his way back from Hogsmeade, Remus Lupin walked past a large Willow Tree down by the lake. Under its leafy boughs, Lily and James lay talking and laughing. Lily's head rested against James' shoulder and James stroked Lily's fiery locks lovingly. Remus grinned to himself and left them to it.

*

"James Potter!" Lily Evans called from the attic of their new home in Godric's Hollow. "What on earth is this?"

James straightened up from unpacking the box labelled "books" and strode into the bedroom of their home. "What Potter?" He drawled, knowing all too well that this would infuriate her.

"This!" Lily yelled, shoving a ratty piece of parchment under his nose.

James scrolled down the page.

The Potter Dating Hall of Fame - James Eduardo Potter.

Alice Elgar, Aimee Wilson, Narcissa Black, Natalie Watts, the hot Hungarian girl, Jessie Finnegan, Preema Patil, Lily Evans. Have recently married said Lily Evans and will therefore be discontinuing the Potter Dating Hall of Fame until it is time to pass the tradition onto my own son.

"What about it?" He said, grinning.

Lily suddenly looked embarrassed. "I really don't know. I don't think marriage is good for me. It makes me yell."

"Right," James said, laughing and picking Lily up in his arms. "I'd better start the Hall of Fame up again!"

"Don't you dare," Lily cried as James threw her into a fireman's lift and carted her over to the bed. "Don't you dare, James Potter."