Before the Moon Rises

BEFORE THE MOON RISES

Going Home

Chapter Twenty-four

"I still want you by my side

Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried

And I'm sure gonna give you a try

If you wanna try to love again

Baby, I'll try to love again."--Sheryl Crow

July 1998

The tugging sensation from her navel stopped and Remus reached out to steady her. She hated traveling by portkey, but seeing as how she had never been to Remus' house, she couldn't very well Apparate there.

"It's up here," he said, letting go of her arm and walking away. He was desperately trying to keep his distance. He was nervous and his skin was burning. Kissing Hermione again boiled his blood and caused desire to throb impatiently in his body. Slow down Moony, he kept chanting in his mind.

She swallowed slowly as her head stopped spinning. It was so dark on this street. Only one street lamp burned brightly and it wasn't very close to where she was standing. The entire neighborhood was so completely quiet that Hermione feared someone might hear her breathing and scold her for disrupting the silence.

"Are you coming?" he called out to her.

"Yes," she responded quietly, watching the way Remus moved in the darkness and trying not to imagine what is would feel like to be close to his body again.

Hermione walked behind Remus up toward his house. He stopped and pushed open an old wooden gate that Hermione thought had once been painted white, but now it was dirty and faded, showing nothing of its one-time beauty. She followed him up a short path through an overgrown garden and looked up at the house in front of her.

It was very small and the paint was chipping badly. The railing around the front porch had a few missing spindles, but Hermione felt sure this house could be brought back to life with very little work.

Remus opened the front door and held it open for her. She walked past him and into the living room. She stopped just inside and looked around. There were hardwood floors beneath her feet, a couch pushed up against the far wall, a comfortable looking chair in one corner, a small table with a lamp, and a fireplace with a mantle. A picture in a frame had been placed on the mantle but Hermione couldn't see what it was of from where she was standing.

Remus pulled off his cloak and hung it on a coat rack that leaned a little to the left. "Would you like some tea?" he asked, walking through the small room to the nearby kitchen.

"That would be nice," she said quietly, still standing in the center of the room.

When Remus entered the kitchen, Hermione turned and looked at the picture on the mantle. She walked over to it and lifted it, holding the rectangular frame in her hands. It was a picture of the Marauders; she sighed and slowly a smile crept across her face. Memories filled her mind and she became lost in them.

Remus walked into the kitchen and filled a kettle with water. He placed it on the stove and turned it on high. He looked around the corner and watched Hermione. She was holding a picture in her hands. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms across his chest as he watched her. He wondered what she was thinking. Just watching her from a distance aroused him and he felt like a teenager again, unable to control his surging hormones. He clenched his jaw and found himself unable to look away from her and unable to control the many different thoughts that burst through is mind.

In the picture Hermione held in her hands, Sirius kept poking Peter in the back and laughing. James winked repeatedly while ruffling his hair and Remus smiled shyly. She smiled in response. She remembered when he used to look at her with that very same smile, and she still found it terribly sexy. She missed those days--she missed the feel of his arms around her, the feel of his kiss, the feel of his body close to hers. A slow steady heat formed in her chest and sparked like glowing embers in the wind.

The kettle began to whistle and pulled Remus' attention away from Hermione. He pulled down two cups out of the cabinets and filled them with the boiling water, pouring it through tea leaves. "What would you like in your tea? Cream or sugar?" he called to her.

"Nothing," she answered.

Remus entered the living room, holding two cups of tea in his hands. Hermione continued to look down at the picture in her hands, seemingly mesmerized. Remus stood nearby and watched her without speaking. He watched a smile tug her lips and he knew she must be lost in a memory somewhere. He wondered if it involved him.

"Do you remember how great it was?" she asked, rubbing her thumb across the glass on top of the photograph.

Remus didn't need to ask what she was referring to. He knew. She was looking at the only picture he had of the Marauders, and he knew she was remembering the times she spent with them. He smiled sadly.

"How could I forget?" he answered.

"I miss those days...when everything felt so perfect," she said quietly without looking up at Remus.

He watched her intently. It felt strange to have the only girl he had ever really loved standing in his home, bringing up memories he had fought to forget for so long. He felt nervous and antsy...and scared. So much time had passed for him--would things have changed? Did she still find him as attractive? Would he remember how to hold her properly? He knew she had been in love with him when he was seventeen--time had changed him. Would she think things had changed too much, causing him to lose her yet again?

Remus stepped up to her; she looked up at him. He held out her cup of tea. Hermione reached for it and he took the photograph out of her hands, touching her fingers as he did so. A tiny flame began to flicker inside him. He was still incredibly attracted to her--did she feel differently?

Remus took the picture and placed it back onto the mantle, stopping to watch his old friends moving around inside. Hermione turned to look at him; his back was facing her. She held the cup of tea in one hand but never pulled it up to her lips to drink. There was a question on the tip of her tongue that she desperately wanted to ask but she was frightened. She wanted to find out how Remus felt about her--how he truly felt. He had kissed her inside the cathedral but had it been out of pity? Could he feel the heat around them as she could? She licked her lips. Remus placed his cup of tea on the mantle. Then, he sighed as he gripped the edge of the mantle in his hands, leaning his weight against his palms.

She took a deep breath and took a flying leap. "Is it too late for us Remus? Could you ever love me again as you did before?" Hermione then held her breath and waited.

Remus dropped his head slightly, staring down at the floor, before turning around very slowly. He met her eyes and she was so afraid he would say the words she didn't want to hear.

"I never stopped," he replied in his hoarse voice. The honestly in his voice and the impact of his words caused a tremble to start somewhere in her toes and rush through her body like a tidal wave.

The cup of tea slipped from her hand and crashed on the floor, splashing over her shoe and wetting the polished wood floor, but she hardly noticed.

"Then, this entire time...you've--" she began to say in quiet shock.

Remus watched her closely and looked away as he whispered, "Been a fool."

She inhaled sharply, quickly closed the gap between them and threw her arms around his neck. He immediately pulled her body closer to his. It had been much too long and he moaned quietly into her neck.

"Oh, Remus, I've missed you so much," she whispered and he pulled her even closer, feeling his body come alive next to hers.

Their desperate embrace soon became an urgent kiss with the need to reacquaint their tongues, lips and hands with old familiar places. Remus tried desperately to rein in his arousal but Hermione's soft moaning against his mouth only stoked the fire that had never died. Kissing Hermione was like coming home--or more specifically, it was like sprinting home in a mad frenzy.

He felt her reach out and begin unbuttoning his shirt and suddenly his stomach tightened.

"Hermione I'm--" How odd it was for him to feel unsure and self-conscious. He was overwhelmed with the possibility that she might find him less attractive. He was still lean but what if...

She continued undoing the buttons on his shirt one by one, going lower and lower. "I'm older--" he whispered, then sucked in a huge breath as she slipped the shirt from his shoulders, revealing his bare chest.

She began kissing down his shoulder, across his collarbone and up his neck before whispering in his ear. "And you're still perfect."

And she meant it. She glanced at his broad shoulders, the hollow of his chest. He had hardly changed in twenty years. He had become a man. She sighed with desire as she moved her hands down his chest.

Remus grabbed her face with his hands and kissed her with an almost bruising intensity, years of unreleased passion rushing out. He unclasped her cloak swiftly, throwing it behind him. Then, he slid his hands gently over her breasts, quickly remembering the feel of her body against his hands. He moved his hands down to her shorts. Hermione's entire body began to tingle beneath his hands. He unfastened the button on her shorts and pulled down the zipper before tugging at them; they fell down to her feet. He stepped on the back of his shoe with his other foot and slipped out of it. Then he repeated this for his other foot. Hermione kicked her shoes off as well; they knocked against a nearby wall.

"Go...to...my...bed...room," he barely managed to say between their urgent and needy kisses. He slipped his arms around her waist and began walking backwards blindly as Hermione unhooked his belt frantically. She was quickly losing the fight to control her desire, and she could feel the evidence of Remus' arousal pressing into her. While trying to make it to the hallway, Remus backed into a nearby table; the lamp sitting on it toppled to the floor, breaking the light bulb. But they didn't stop what they were doing. Hermione began to almost giggle but her giggle turned into a gasp when Remus pulled her shirt over her head and moved his hands against her shoulders and breasts.

She then proceeded to unbutton and unzip his pants. He stopped walking momentarily to step out of them. They were now standing in the hallway; his bedroom was a few more steps away. Remus cupped her bottom in his hands and lifted her up; she slipped her legs around his waist, and he carried her to his bedroom, never once breaking their kiss. As he sat them down on the edge of his bed, she ran her fingers through his hair and kissed down his neck.

"Are you sure--" Remus began; she silenced him by kissing his mouth again.

She then pushed him back onto the bed as she kissed down the center of his chest, moving her hands lower as she went. Remus made a noise somewhere between a moan and a husky growl before grabbing her and flipping their bodies over roughly onto the bed.

"I can't hold out much longer," he whispered, kissing her shoulder.

"So don't," she said in a ragged breath, smiling and looking up at him through her lashes.

Remus lifted her slightly off the bed and unhooked her bra before tossing it over his shoulder and grinning down at her. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. He leaned down, flicked his tongue over her bottom lip and then whispered against her lips.

"You are so beautiful."

She shivered. In a span of a few seconds they were both completely undressed and they began making love with an eagerness that bordered on desperation--it was as if they both feared it was all some sort of dream that could end at any moment. But it didn't end...

* * * *

Hermione lay on her back, the sheets pulled over her chest and her hair fanned out on the pillow. She sighed lazily as Remus shifted beside her. She looked over at him. He was propped up on his elbow, looking down at her.

"What?" she asked.

He reached under the covers and rubbed his fingers across her stomach lightly. She closed her eyes and smiled. "I've wanted you for so long."

"And now you have me," she whispered. "Are you disappointed?"

"What?" he asked incredulously.

"What I mean is, were your memories better than real life?" she wondered, looking up at him innocently.

Remus leaned over and kissed her lips lightly. "Actually," he said in his low husky voice, "you're better than I remember." He kissed down the side of her neck and she giggled.

"Impossible," she said playfully.

Remus looked up at her with smoky, desire-filled eyes and smirked. "Of course, we could test it out again and see if I'm wrong."

She laughed and then sucked in her breath as Remus slid his hand up her side and kissed the top of her chest lightly. He lightly moved his fingers over her breasts, and her breath caught in her throat.

"What do you say?" he asked, sliding his body against hers.

"About what?" she asked breathlessly, feeling her breathing become shaky as Remus touched her gently.

"About anything," he said, kissing her lips again.

"Oh, Remus," she exhaled in a broken breath. She could hardly think; he was caressing her with purpose and she quivered.

"Have I ever told you how sexy it is when you tremble?" He positioned his body over hers and rested his weight on his knees.

"Maybe once or..." her breath hitched, "...twice."

He leaned over and kissed her. She moved her hands up his back and rested them on his shoulders as he slipped into her.

"Look at me," he whispered, slowly moving against her. She obeyed and their eyes met. "I love you."

"I love you," she whispered in return, clutching onto him as they made love again. She wondered if her heart would explode with the sheer pleasure of it all as their love collided with their passion and ecstasy flooded every possible space.

* * * *

In the early morning hours, Hermione rested her head against Remus' chest as he lay on his back. She could hear his heartbeat and she smiled sleepily.

"It's almost morning," he said hoarsely.

"And I'm exhausted," she said, grinning into his chest.

"You should be. I'm surprised the walls are still standing."

She could tell by his voice that he was smiling. She laughed lightly. "Thank you Remus," she said quietly.

"For what?"

"For bringing me home."

Remus took a deep breath and sighed. "Does that mean you want to stay?"

"If you'll have me," she whispered back.

Remus closed his eyes as his emotions surged unexpectedly. He swallowed slowly and then leaned up to kiss the top of her head. "I can't think of anything I've ever wanted more in my entire life."

Hermione slid her hand across his chest and squeezed him. "It feels good to be home," she said yawning.

"It feels good to finally be home," he said and she didn't mistake his meaning.

Together they made a home because anywhere could be considered home as long as they had each other. It had been a long time coming but fate had finally smiled upon them. Hermione fell asleep in Remus' arms and there was nowhere else she'd rather be.

"I am watching you sleep

It's the promise you made

What I find I can keep

Oh, I want to swallow the moon

Give a smile back to you

Lighting your way

Tell the angels they'll just have to wait

Cause I wanna stay here in the moment

Can I quietly slip into you

You and I can stay here in this moment

Let the world fade away

I just wanna stay with you."--Melissa Etheridge