Am I Too Late

AM I TOO LATE

Chapter Two

Don't Let Me Cry

Hermione tugged her coat and robes tighter around her body. The wind was cutting down the street with a vengeance, and it sliced through her shivering body. She walked down the cobblestones like a little girl lost in a foreign city, staring straight ahead but not seeing anything.

The pub, The Benevolent Badger, was only a five minute walk from her flat, but the streets seemed to have lengthened, causing her short walk to feel painfully far.

By the time she reached her flat, her face felt frozen, and her hands were numb. She fumbled with her keys, dropping them onto the tile floor three times before pulling out her wand and opening the door magically. Harry had always teased her for still using Muggle keys.

Harry.

She walked into her flat, pulled off her coat, slung it over the nearest chair, and leaned on the door, shutting it with her weight. She closed her eyes and pressed her head back.

He's going to marry Beth. He's going to marry her. Why is this bothering me so? He'll still hang out with me. They've been together for a while now and it doesn't change our time together. Why would this change things?

"Ugh!" she groaned. "She's going to be his wife," Hermione whispered, and for the second time that night, she thought she might cry. She wouldn't allow herself to cry. That was silly, foolish, and entirely too weak in her opinion.

She paced the floor in her living room for a good half an hour before thinking if she didn't talk to someone she would lose her mind. She walked over to her fireplace, shoved her hand into the black container of Floo powder, and knelt down. She would give Ginny a call. They were best friends. They told each other everything--only they'd never talked about Harry...not really. They'd certainly never discussed his love life. It had always seemed like such a personal issue, and Hermione and Harry were only friends.

She was on the verge of tossing the Floo powder into the hearth when she reconsidered.

"This is silly," she said to herself. "What am I going to say? Hey, Harry's marrying Beth and I don't like it?" She sighed loudly. Then a wave of sadness crept through her, and she tossed the shiny powder into the fireplace. She stuck her head inside the flames and called out Ginny's address.

"Ginny?" Hermione called out from the hearth.

"What? Who is it? Is that you Hermione?" Ginny's voice could be heard shouting from around the corner.

"Yeah, it's me," Hermione answered.

"Okay. I'll be right with you," she yelled. "How did your weekly dinner with Ron and Harry--" Ginny stopped talking when she saw Hermione's head in the flames. "What's wrong?"

"Uh...nothing," Hermione said quickly. "I was wondering if you could come over for...a friendly chat?"

Ginny knelt down on the hearth rug and eyed Hermione. She didn't believe her best friend's response. "Just for a friendly chat?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yes," Hermione groaned. "Can you come over or not?"

"Don't get shirty with me, Hermione. I'll be there in a minute."

"Thanks," Hermione said, looking up at Ginny apologetically before pulling her head from the flames.

* * * *

When Ginny arrived at Hermione's flat, she could smell coffee brewing and...cookies? Was Hermione baking?

"Hermione?" she called out.

"Hey Gin! I'm in the kitchen," Hermione yelled back.

Ginny walked through the living room and found Hermione in the kitchen just as she said, but she was also wearing an apron embroidered with a roaring lion and holding a sheet of chocolate chip cookies. Her hair was pulled back from her face and tied neatly in a scarlet ribbon.

"You're baking?" Ginny asked.

Hermione smiled brightly. "Yes. I thought we might curl up near the fire and eat cookies and talk. That's what girls do when they get together. Have a cookie," Hermione said, her voice tight and full of excitement.

Ginny frowned. "How much coffee have you had tonight?"

"Oh, none yet. I was waiting for you."

"Oh-kay," she said slowly, taking the offered cookie. "I'll get us a couple of mugs," she said, reaching up toward the cupboard.

"Oh, no, that's okay. You have a seat, and I'll get everything for us. You just go relax," Hermione said, ushering Ginny out of the kitchen.

Ginny sat on the couch and looked over her shoulder in the direction of the kitchen. She could hear Hermione humming. Something was definitely wrong with her, but she could only be patient and wait to find out what exactly had her best friend acting so strange. After all, everyone knew that Hermione didn't bake cookies at eleven o'clock in the evening. Actually, she never baked cookies or hummed. It was almost unnerving.

When Hermione finally emerged from the kitchen, she held a plateful of cookies in one hand and two steaming mugs of coffee in the other.

"Here we are," she said, placing the cookies on the coffee table and handing the mug to Ginny.

"This is definitely a surprise," Ginny finally said, taking a bite of the cookie. Her eyebrows rose. "These are really good," she mumbled through her mouthful.

"Oh thanks," Hermione glowed. Then in one single breath she said, "I got the recipe from my mum. I called her tonight. She was sleeping, of course, because she and Dad always go to bed by ten, and it was probably 10:30. Well, she gave me the recipe over the phone, and if you're wondering why I didn't just Floo over there...well basically Mum forbid me from Flooing anymore because of that ugly mishap when her partner, Dr. Lloyd, was over there, and the whole memory cleansing ordeal. You remember, don't you? Well, this is her secret recipe and aren't they wonderful?!" Hermione inhaled a deep breath and then stuffed a cookie into her mouth.

Ginny's mouth was agape, and she was sure her eyes were the size of saucers. Coming back to her senses, she closed her mouth and picked up her mug of coffee. "Well, you're definitely chatty tonight, aren't you?"

Hermione smiled, but Ginny could see the tiny twitch in the corner of her mouth. "We haven't had a girl's night in a long time. We never sit around and chat, and I thought it would be nice."

"It's very nice. So...let's chat," Ginny smiled. "Anything on your mind?" she asked nonchalantly, sipping the hot liquid slowly.

Hermione hesitated, her smile wavered, and her knuckles were white. Ginny could see the liquid in Hermione's cup ripple across the top--it was obvious that her hands were trembling.

"Is something wrong, Hermione?" Ginny asked carefully.

Hermione's face perked up immediately, and the smile she forced was almost convincing. "Of course not. Why would you ask that?" She tried to laugh.

"Well, for starters, you've got a wicked death grip on your mug," Ginny answered.

Hermione's hands instantly relaxed. "Oh, I guess I was holding on too tightly. My mind was wandering...I was thinking." She laughed again, and it didn't sound forced. It sounded distant.

"What were you thinking about?"

Hermione could no longer hold it in. She placed her mug on the end table and turned to Ginny. She moved her mouth into what she hoped was a genuine smile.

"Harry told me something tonight," Hermione said quietly, trying desperately to keep her raging emotions subdued.

"He did?" Ginny asked, widening her eyes and feeling suddenly nervous. "What did he say?"

"He told me he's getting engaged," she answered quickly.

"Oh heavens!" Ginny shouted and then burst out laughing. "I thought you were going to say he told you he was in love with you!"

Hermione blanched. "Why on earth would he say that?" she choked.

Ginny's laughter quieted. "Oh, I don't know. The look on your face. I'm sorry. But he's getting married?! That's wonderful! Is he excited?"

Hermione feigned enthusiasm. "I don't know. Just after he told me, I got sick--"

"--you got sick?" Ginny frowned. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I think it must have been the dinner. I told Ron that I couldn't eat all of that fish, but he said I could--" She cleared her throat. "Never mind. I'm fine now. But Harry said he'd call on me later and we could talk more about it."

"Did he seem pleased?" Ginny wondered, eating another cookie.

"Oh sure, why wouldn't he be?" Hermione asked, picking up her mug and standing up. She walked over to her mantle and lifted a picture with her free hand.

Moving and smiling in the picture were Ron, Harry, herself, Ginny, Neville, Justin, Seamus and Beth. It had been taken at Ron's last "friends only" birthday party. They'd been at Justin's pub, The Benevolent Badger, and they'd had a great time. Beth had stayed only twenty minutes after the picture had been taken, and Ron and Ginny had gotten so sloppy drunk (competing to see who would pass out first), she and Harry had been forced to carry them both home to Harry and Ron's flat. Then, she and Harry had fallen asleep on his couch, watching an old Muggle movie.

Hermione stared at Beth in the picture. The smiling witch waved up at her, tossing her long black hair over her shoulder in the process. Harry draped his arm over her shoulder, and lost himself in her dark brown eyes before looking away.

"Why wouldn't he be?" Hermione asked her question again, returning the photograph to its place on the mantle. "She's perfect."

"You've got that right. I mean, she's beautiful...and very sweet," Ginny added. "I've always liked her."

Hermione sighed. "Me too," she replied honestly. "I think Harry will be very happy with her."

Ginny wrinkled her nose and watched Hermione stare at the floorboards. Then, she cocked up a questioning eyebrow and said, "I'm sure he will be. Like you said, why wouldn't he be happy? She's perfect in practically every way. She's just as famous as he is; her fashions are amazing. I've got one of her dresses at home. I wonder where they'll go on their honeymoon."

If possible, Hermione's face paled even more. She'd somehow not even thought that far in advance. Of course, they'd go on a honeymoon--they were getting married. It was the next obvious step.

Hermione shrugged and stared into her coffee. She pulled the cup to her lips. "Probably somewhere fabulous...with lots of privacy...somewhere romantic and...perfect," she whispered into her coffee.

Ginny sat up and placed her mug on the coffee table. Then she shook her head and glanced up at Hermione. "I don't believe it," she said.

"What?" Hermione mumbled, slowly sipping her coffee.

"You're in love with Harry," she stated plainly.

In her shock, Hermione sucked in a deep breath and a large amount of coffee through her nose. She instantly choked, spewing coffee out of her mouth and nose. Ginny burst out laughing.

When Hermione finally stopped coughing, she frowned and said, "It isn't funny." She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Since when is shooting coffee out of your nose not funny?" Ginny asked playfully.

Hermione walked over and put her coffee mug down on the table. She'd had enough. Then she swallowed and asked Ginny, "Why did you say that?"

"Say what? That you're in love with Harry?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you are, aren't you?" Ginny said, crossing her arms and leaning back on the sofa.

"Absolutely not!" she said firmly.

"Come on Hermione. You've been baking for Pete's sake. Not to mention that when I first arrived you chatted my head off--"

"--Can I not chat with my best friend?" she asked angrily, placing her hands on her hips.

"Of course you can, but Hermione, I know you, and you weren't being you. I could tell something was bothering you, and then suddenly you're practically about to burst to tell me about Harry. I just put two and two together."

"Well, you're wrong. I'm definitely not in love with Harry. I'm happy for him," she said, turning her back on Ginny and walking back toward the mantle.

"I know you are, Hermione. Listen, if you do have feelings for Harry, I completely understand. He's a handsome bloke--"

"--I don't!" she shouted, glaring at Ginny over her shoulder.

Ginny threw her hands up in defense. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm obviously mistaken. If you're not in love with Harry, then what's your problem?"

Hermione sighed as her shoulders slumped. "I don't want things to change."

"How so?" Ginny wondered.

Hermione reached again for the photograph. Ron was forcing a party hat on Seamus' head while Harry threw a handful of confetti into the air. It rained down on hers and Beth's heads.

"I don't want our friendship to end," she said quietly.

"Oh don't be silly, Hermione. He's been dating her for two years and he's not stopped being your friend. Being married isn't going to change that."

Hermione smiled down at the picture as Neville blew on a noisemaker and streamers flew out. Beth walked out of the picture as Ron shoved a piece of cake into his mouth. Then, Harry pulled her into a silly embrace, and they laughed wildly.

"I don't know, but I have this feeling that marriage will change everything," she whispered.

Ginny frowned and stared at Hermione's back. "Harry would never give you up Hermione. You two have been friends for far too long."

"Yeah...perhaps you're right," she muttered, feeling tears prick her eyes.

Inside the frame, Seamus and Justin were each downing two pints of ale. Ron's arms were around her shoulders, and Harry's were around her waist. She held on to both of them, and then Harry leaned over and kissed her cheek. She watched herself blush furiously as she leaned into Harry. He leaned his head against hers just before Neville blew another noisemaker, and the streamers flew into their faces. When the streamers were falling to the floor, she and Harry exchanged a glance that had her leaning closer to the frame. But before she could register the emotion on their faces, Beth put her arms around Harry's waist and tugged him away playfully.

Had it been there all along? Had the underlying feelings of something more been present for years? Even the photograph seemed to know things she didn't. Something jerked uncomfortably in her stomach; a tear fell from her eye and splashed the glass covering the photograph.

She looked back at Ginny.

"What's wrong?" Ginny asked immediately with concern on her face.

"Don't let me cry," she said sadly.

"Oh, Hermione," Ginny said, standing to her feet. "Harry isn't going to give you up. You'll see. He loves you, and he and Ron will be by your side forever." She walked toward Hermione.

"You were right," she whispered, staring down at the photograph.

Ginny stopped walking. "About what?"

"About me," she whispered, wiping another tear from her cheek.

"What?" Ginny whispered in response.

Hermione looked up at her and smiled sadly. "I am in love with Harry."HHar