- Rating:
- PG
- House:
- The Dark Arts
- Characters:
- Lily Evans Remus Lupin Severus Snape
- Genres:
- Drama
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix Quidditch Through the Ages Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
- Stats:
-
Published: 12/26/2003Updated: 12/26/2003Words: 5,981Chapters: 1Hits: 743
Changes
PeacockHarpy
- Story Summary:
- Potter is angry, Black is sulking, Pettigrew is scurrying and Lupin is missing -- and Lily wants to know why. Post-OotP fic that explores the aftermath of the Snape/Lupin incident from Lily Evans' perspective. One-shot, complete.
- Posted:
- 12/26/2003
- Hits:
- 743
Changes
by PeacockHarpy
Waning
It had been one week since it had happened -- whatever it was. All Lily knew was that it must be something terrible.
She had seen arguments between the four before -- massive blowups complete with shouting matches, punches thrown and jinxes hurled. But those had all blown over in a day or two, with mutual friendship restored, same as before.
This time, though, there had been no visible blowups, only a strange and enduring silence. Sirius Black lurked around the common room fire and tried to look carefree, but only succeeded in achieving a sort of tarnished bravado. James Potter was quite literally shaking with anger almost all of the time, and he fiercely refused to even so much as look at Black. Peter Pettigrew, as the middle man, was forced into a sort of worried scurrying back and forth between the two.
And Remus Lupin, the only member of the four whom Lily had considered halfway decent to be around, was gone. He wasn't in the Infirmary, and he wasn't expelled -- she'd investigated both those avenues and come up with nothing. Lupin just wasn't at Hogwarts.
If the four main players weren't talking, the rest of Gryffindor certainly was. Debate raged as to whether the argument was over a girl (but whom?), a bet (over what?) or ... well, no one was quite sure. One popular theory was that James was ditching Sirius because of the Black family's politics. But that made no sense, Lily thought. Black was, despite his family, as fanatically anti-Dark as Potter. So much so that he treated his own brother like the lowest sort of rubbish.
Not that Lily was interested in the internal politics of Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin. Not the slightest bit. But as prefect, Lily was supposed to keep things running smoothly in Gryffindor, and to mediate between arguing students in situations that warranted it. In situations involving the fabulous foursome, she normally punted the issue to her fellow prefect, Lupin. His friends, his problem -- not that he would do much about it.
However, with Lupin unavailable, she had the nagging feeling that it would fall to her to deal with it. She sighed. Maybe she should go to Professor McGonagall to discuss potential ways of handling the situation. The Head of Gryffindor House had a sharp and pragmatic way of cutting right to the heart of any problem, and she would certainly have good advice.
But it would have to wait. Tonight, Lily was tutoring a group of first-years in the common room. The only other occupant of the room was Black, who was slumped in a chair by the fire, cultivating a broody stare and ignoring the attempts of the firsts to levitate quills.
"Let's try repeating the incantation again: win-GAR-dee-oom lev-vee-OH-sah," Lily said, and the First Years chanted along after her. One boy was surprised to see his quill float up then and there.
"Yes, that's it. You can't just say the words; you have to want the quill to float," Lily said encouragingly. A few more quills lifted, shivering, into the air as, one by one, the firsts began to understand.
The portrait hole flew open with a bang, and all the quills tumbled to the floor. Potter entered; his face went white with anger as soon as he saw Black. He stalked through the room -- and right past Black -- without giving his former best mate another glance. Pettigrew trotted in behind Potter, casting nervous glances at Black, and scurrying a little closer to Potter when Black stared at them.
"Lily," little William asked, "is there anywhere else we can practice?"
Lily sighed. Yes, it was probably past time she talked to McGonagall.
=-=-=-=-=
"Miss Evans, I don't know what to tell you," Professor McGonagall said the next afternoon in her office, after classes were finished.
"Their feud, whatever it's about, is completely disrupting Gryffindor," Lily pointed out. "And as they aren't taking any steps to work it out amongst themselves --"
McGonagall peered over the tops of her square glasses. "I am fully aware of the current situation in my House, Miss Evans. What I meant was this: I would like to tell you more about this situation, but it involves confidences I cannot break." She held up a hand, forestalling Lily's protests. "Not even for a prefect. In the meantime, I suggest that you work with the students in the other years to help them keep their focus where it should be -- on their studies."
"That won't be easy. Potter and Black are too popular," Lily grumbled. "So everyone pays attention to them." And fawns over them, and kisses up to them... ugh.
"I'll speak to Headmaster Dumbledore about it. But Lily..." she sighed. "Don't do anything rash, my dear. One thing I can tell you is that this is no simple quarrel -- there are some very real issues of trust and betrayal behind this fight. It will take effort and patience, and those boys aren't known for either. Now, run along so you won't be late for dinner."
Lily was dismissed.
Dark
Two weeks had crawled by, with no end to the argument in sight.
Lily had, with permission from Professor Flitwick, moved the after-dinner Gryffindor Charms tutorials into his classroom. She also asked for and received permission to supervise later study hours for the fifth-year Gryffindors in the library. Anything to get them out of the common room, so they could study for their O.W.L.s without the silent drama constantly distracting them.
But every request irked her. Why was Gryffindor tower any more Potter and Black's domain than hers -- or, for that matter, than any other Gryffindor student's? Why did they all have to make allowances for four people?
The final straw came when she was leading a group of first-year students through a review of their Potions notes in the library. The students were working quietly in pairs, quizzing each other on potion instructions, when Potter walked in. He was still fairly buzzing with anger, and as he strode through the study tables to the shelves, the students slowly stopped quizzing each other and just stared.
Potter whipped around. "What do you want?" he snarled.
Lily stepped in front of him. "They want you to leave them alone, Potter," she said, keeping her voice low but gritting out every word. "Thanks to you and your friends, Gryffindor is a war zone, so we're studying down here. Not that you'd notice, since you're so completely fixated on yourself."
"Don't start with me, Evans..."
"You've chased everyone out of the tower. Whatever your little argument is about, you need to get over it. You and your friends are disrupting everyone else's lives and I for one am getting tired of it."
"Black is no longer my friend," Potter spat.
The door of the library banged open, and Pettigrew scurried up to Potter, panting slightly. "Sirius says if you can't accept a prank as a prank you have no business being a marau--"
"Shut. Up." James fixed Pettigrew with a glare. "Pas devant les domestiques, Peter, or had you forgotten?"
"Prank?" Lily asked, incredulous. This was the end of the rope. "This is all over another one of your damned pranks?"
"Language, Evans," Potter said. "Swearing is very unbecoming in a prefect." He turned to Pettigrew. "We'll talk about it later. Dissendium, all right?"
Pettigrew nodded and left.
And just what did that mean? Lily thought, but she turned back to the students, who were openly staring at them. "Please continue quizzing each other," she said, keeping her voice as calm as she could. "Your exam is tomorrow and I know all of you can easily pass with high grades if you will maintain your focus."
The students slowly returned their attention to potions, and Lily pulled James behind a bookshelf.
"We've got to stop meeting like this," he said with a teasing leer, leaning on the shelf with one hand and messing up his hair with the other. "People will talk."
"Can it, Potter." As much as she wanted to smack him, she decided to try the rational approach first. "Look, as prefect, I've done what I could to keep the students focused on their work. They've O.W.L.s in the next month, and some of them really need the study time. Isn't there some way that you and your friends could--"
Potter's face hardened into a frown. "I told you, Black is no longer my friend. And if he doesn't face up to what he's done and make some real apologies then he'll never be my friend again."
"What in the name of the Founders has he done, then?"
For a brief second, Lily was convinced James might actually answer her. He leaned forward, opened his mouth... but then he thought better of it and muttered, "It's not your business, Evans."
She hazarded a suggestion. "Remus is a prefect, maybe when he gets back he could talk to Black--"
"Don't even suggest it. Black should be crawling on his knees to Re--" James caught himself, and snapped, "Forget it. Just forget it. Stay out of it."
"Fine," Lily shot back. "Go on, keep sulking amongst yourselves. Be as melodramatic as you want. We'll just continue studying everywhere except our own common room." She turned away from him, but he caught her elbow.
"Evans..." he sighed. "All right. I'll get Pettigrew to ask Black to -- sulk -- somewhere else. If that will help."
"It's a partial solution," Lily replied.
James did not catch (or maybe didn't choose to catch) the implicit hint. "I'm only doing this much because you asked, Evans." He gave her the saucy grin that usually made girls melt.
She rolled her eyes. "I don't care why you do it, so long as the problem is solved. Go away, Potter."
When she walked out from behind the bookshelf, the students were still studying -- a little too diligently. No doubt they'd been eavesdropping. She was suddenly too tired to care. Potter walked out of the library -- without radiating anger -- and Lily leaned against one of the tables, thinking.
So Black was in Potter's bad graces, it was over a prank, and apparently whatever Black had done had harmed Lupin. Maybe a prank had backfired? Maybe Lupin was physically hurt... or hit with some jinx or curse that had yet to wear off. But it had been two weeks, so those explanations were hardly likely.
"Lily, can you help? Evangeline says this potion needs aconite, but I think it should have monkshood..."
Lily looked at the boy. "You're both right, Felix. Aconite and monkshood are the same thing. So is wolfsbane."
The boy nodded and went back to his study partner, and Lily returned to her musings. Pettigrew, at any rate, seemed to be talking to all the players in the drama -- or at least he's being used as an errand-boy, Lily thought.
Pettigrew. There was an angle worth pursuing.
=-=-=-=-=
She would have preferred to have cornered Pettigrew alone, but he was never alone. In fact, after observing him for a day or two, Lily realized that he worked very hard to ensure he'd never be alone.
At the moment, he was sitting at a table in the Great Hall, in the midst of a group of Gryffindors. But he wasn't with Potter or Black, so this was as good as it was going to get.
"Peter, if I could see you for a moment?" Lily asked in her best high-handed prefect voice.
The boy started, and then looked up at her, confused. "What'd I do?"
"Oh, come on. You're one of the best pranksters in the school, and we all know it. 'What didn't you do' is a more specific question in this case."
The flattery worked. Pettigrew sat up a bit straighter. "Well, now. I can neither confirm nor deny..."
"Of course, of course. But I have a little matter to speak to you about, if you would be so kind."
Pettigrew would, indeed, be so kind. He followed her out of the Hall like a puppy on a lead. Lily thought she might choke on suppressed laughter, but she got it under control before she spoke.
"I wanted to thank you for helping Potter and Black come to an understanding so we could use the common room again," she said. "I know they're very upset, but some consideration for others is necessary in community life."
"Oh, well, I -- well, Sirius is just mad because he knows he's the one in the wrong, so it was easy to get him to sulk somewhere else." Pettigrew's nose twitched, and he rubbed at it fretfully.
"Well, I appreciate it," Lily said wisely. "Usually, I just refer these prefect matters to Lupin, you know. But as he's not around..."
"Oh, but if Remus were here, he definitely wouldn't talk to Sirius, since Sirius sent Snape--" Pettigrew's wide eyes showed he'd realized his mistake. He fumbled for words, then recovered. "Set, ah, Snaps, Exploding Snap cards, in his bed. Burnt him." Pettigrew quivered from the top of his blond head to the tip of his toes. "He, ah, had to go to St. Mungo's. Burns."
"That's too bad -- I hope he feels better soon." Lily said. "And thanks again for helping with our little problem. The fifth-years are panicked enough -- we older students need to make it easier for them, not harder."
"Like the sixths and sevenths made it easy for us? Dungbombs, jinxes, stealing all the torches..."
Lily laughed. "Which all work so much more effectively -- and with less chance of being caught -- in the common room than in the library. As you well know. Not that I would ever condone or suggest such a thing. Let the children have their study time."
"Of course, of course." Pettigrew nodded. It made his chin wobble.
She watched him as he walked back into the Great Hall. She didn't have a complete answer, but at least she had more information than before.
Snape. She frowned. It was highly likely that Sirius would have pulled some prank involving Snape, again. The idiots would not leave Snape alone. Not that Snape was always the victim -- he had certainly provoked more than one attack. But for Potter and Black, it was enough that Snape existed. That was all the excuse they ever seemed to need.
Sirius sent Snape... where? And what had it to do with Lupin? Asking Snape wouldn't work. She had duped Pettigrew easily enough, but she well knew that Snape wouldn't even talk to her.
She sat down on a bench in the front hall. It wasn't as though she cared. Not really. Eventually, they would sort out their little tiff and that would be the end of it, and they'd be their normal snotty selves again. The common room issue was solved, so there was no reason for her to get involved any further.
Except, maybe she did care -- a little. But only because it was like a train wreck, really -- a drawn-out, slow-motion train wreck that you couldn't help but watch. Potter and Black had been best friends since the first day they'd all arrived at Hogwarts. If Potter and Black weren't friends, then...
"...that is none of your business."
Lily snapped out of her thoughts to see James standing in front of her, so angry his hair was practically standing on end.
"Pardon?"
"Trying to worm information out of Peter? Isn't that a little low? Or maybe you're just too fascinated with our private problems to care about behaving decently." He moved closer, too close, looming over her.
She didn't give an inch. "All I did was thank him for helping with the common room situation," Lily replied, her voice frosty. "So you can back off, Potter." She stood up. She was a tall girl, and Potter wasn't much taller; the height worked to her advantage. He took a step backward.
"We aren't finished," Potter snapped.
"Oh yes we are. I have Arithromancy class in ten minutes." She stalked off, knowing that James was fuming and reveling in it.
But you don't care at all, her mind repeated teasingly. Not one bit.
"Shut up, you," she muttered, and walked into the Charms classroom.
Waxing
It had been three weeks since the original incident, whatever that had been. Other than a few occasional angry outbursts, Potter and Black contented themselves with mutual avoidance and/or sneering looks. Pettigrew still scurried back and forth between them.
Lupin returned. He looked even more pale and drawn than usual, and that was saying something. He kept to himself, only speaking to answer questions in classes, and otherwise retreating to his dormitory. Lily heard that he and Black weren't speaking to each other.
Actually, she had missed Remus. He was a calming influence in prefect meetings; without his presence, the meetings tended to descend into intrahouse "discussions," otherwise known as "arguments." And he did what he said he would do, a trait upon which Lily placed great value.
However, Lily had decided to take the high road. Whatever had happened, it was none of her affair, and she wasn't going to try and harass him for information. Unless, of course, he came to her first.
"Lily, could I talk to you?"
Perfect, Lily thought, closing her book and looked up at Remus with a smile. "Of course. Welcome back, by the way."
"Thanks." Remus looked around nervously. "Could we talk -- somewhere else?"
Lily glanced around the library. A few other students were studying quietly, but Remus seemed somehow agitated by even their presence. "We could go for a walk around the lake. I've heard the squid is lovely this time of year."
Remus grinned, a spark of humor lighting his tired eyes briefly. "The tentacles are particularly pretty in the spring," he agreed in solemn tones.
Lily turned in her books and followed him outside. The air was crisp and cool, and daffodils were beginning to bloom, a splash of bright color against the grey stone walls of the castle. Once they were past the protection of the castle wall, a chilly breeze hit them, and Remus shivered, slightly, shrugging his patched robe closer around him.
"I'm glad you're back," Lily said, keeping her tone light. "The last prefect meeting was a nightmare. The Slytherins tried to push through some rule about making Quidditch practices first-come-first-serve..."
"It didn't pass, did it?"
"No. Although, come to think of it, that would have gotten Potter out of the tower. He'd have been living down at the pitch." Lily smacked her hand against her forehead melodramatically. "Why didn't I think of that? I should have voted for it!"
Remus chuckled. "It's been bad, I take it?"
"It's been bloody awful."
"I'm sorry."
"You haven't any reason to be sorry. You weren't the one sulking in the common room, hogging the best chair by the fire so that everyone could see the terrible injustice you were suffering. Nor were you the one slamming doors, glaring and otherwise reminding everyone that you are Exceedingly Angry, Dammit. And you obviously weren't the one running back and forth saying 'Well, he says he's not speaking to you.' See, not your fault at all."
Remus shook his head. "No. You see, that's what I need to talk to you about. It is my fault, just for being at Hogwarts. If I weren't here, none of this would have happened."
"And here I thought Potter was the one with the ego the size of the Forbidden Forest. You take my breath away."
He smiled, but only briefly. "Lily, please... I know you're trying to help by making light of the situation, but... I just have to tell you this and I don't know how."
His voice was shaky, and Lily realized he was -- scared? No, it couldn't be that. What could he say that would scare her? She replied, "I'm sorry. I'll listen."
"I, um." He paused, and Lily waited. "You know I'm gone once a month, right?"
"Yes. Family obligation, right?"
"No. That's just the excuse. Lily..." he looked down at his feet, and then back up at her. "Lily, I'm a werewolf."
Werewolf. The minute he said the word, it was as though the puzzle pieces clicked into place -- a thousand little clues she'd never thought to add up. The full moons. And the howls from the Forbidden Forest. And his hair, beginning to go grey at 16. And the way he was always covered in scars and scratches...
Lily realized that Remus was holding himself intensely still, as though he was terrified of her response.
Of course he's afraid, nitwit, she scolded herself.
"It's okay," she said, and reached out to pat him on the shoulder. "Really. I'm okay with it."
Remus exhaled, a long sigh of relief. "Oh good," he said, his voice wavering.
"Mostly, of course, I'm feeling incredibly stupid that I didn't figure it out. I mean, come on. How many years have we lived in the same House?"
"I've been careful not to let anyone know -- or even suspect," he said. "I wasn't supposed to even come to Hogwarts. But Dumbledore... Dumbledore said it wasn't fair of them to keep me out. He arranged for everything -- even a place for me to go when I change. He says lycanthropy doesn't impact intelligence."
"Dumbledore's right. You're one of the top students in our year."
"But I'm still a werewolf, and for some people, that counts more than exam results." He looked out across the lake. "If it became generally known that I was a werewolf, I'd be expelled."
"You don't mean -- this whole blowup between Potter and Black isn't because they found out you were a werewolf, is it? Because I will personally beat them to a pulp..."
Remus laughed. "No, no. They know about it -- they've known for years. It's just -- you see, Snape became rather curious about my habits this year. And if he found out, he'd make sure I was expelled. So I tried to lie low -- not give him an excuse, and definitely not give him any clues. But Sirius and James loved to torment Snape about it, dropping little strange hints -- never enough to let him know anything, just enough to annoy him..."
"And you were all right with that?" Lily looked him straight in the eyes. "They were gambling with your life, your future, and you were all right with that?"
"They were just having fun," Remus protested. "It's not a big deal to them, they don't see it like I do."
"Don't make excuses for them," she said quietly. "As your friends, they ought to have known better." Probably thought they'd look even cooler if people knew one of their group was a werewolf. Boys. "But go on, I'm sorry."
Remus sighed. "After a few rounds of this, James realized that Snape was dead serious about it, so he stopped dangling hints, and told Sirius to do the same. But Sirius... Sirius just doesn't let go of things, you know? And he didn't like James telling him what to do. So he kept teasing Snape. And last month, he told Snape how to get into the tunnel."
"Tunnel?"
"It leads to the Shrieking Shack. That's where I stay, when I'm... changing. I'm completely barred in, there's no way I can get out and attack anyone." He still looked slightly guilty.
Lily stared at him. "Black told Snape where to find you when you were in werewolf form."
"Yes."
"He sent Snape after a werewolf."
"He didn't think Snape would actually--"
"Didn't he?" Lily's voice was ice cold. "I think he certainly did. You know as well as I do that Black doesn't know when to quit. You just said so."
Remus didn't respond; he just stared out at the water..
She forced herself to be calm. "So what happened?"
"Snape tried to go after me, of course. But James -- James found out what Sirius had done, and he went after Snape. Hauled him out of the tunnel, just in time. I -- I'd scented him, you see, and I was coming after him. I nearly killed them both. If James wasn't as fast as he is..."
"Potter saved Snape?"
"And me. If he hadn't come after Snape, I would have been a murderer." Remus looked absolutely miserable.
"Merlin's beard. I never thought I'd say this, but -- Bravo James Potter."
"And now Snape knows. Dumbledore has sworn him to secrecy -- and he'll keep the promise, I think. But I -- I wasn't sure I should stay. I've been at home with my family, because I wanted to think about it. About leaving. And I missed this place so much..." Remus stopped, his voice thick. "Hogwarts is the only place I've ever had a chance. The only place I have real friends. I know I ought to leave. I'm a danger and a menace. But I can't bear to do it."
"You're wrong. You must stay." Lily took his hands in hers. "You're a good student, a good person. You deserve Hogwarts. And the precautions you take -- everything would have been fine if it hadn't been for Black. It will be fine again. Don't throw away this chance because of a situation you had no control over."
Lupin smiled, but it was a miserable smile. "That's just the problem. When I'm the wolf, I have no control. For example, I think you're a nice person, but if the wolf saw you -- there are no barriers, for the wolf. No process that makes the wolf stop to say 'Wait, that one's nice, don't attack her.' That's the way it works."
"What does Dumbledore say?"
"He doesn't want me to leave."
"And have you talked with Potter? Snape?"
"James is, of course, all for me staying. I tried to talk to Snape, to apologize, but he won't see me. I think he believes I was in on the prank."
"And Black?"
"I can't talk to Sirius right now. I'm still too angry. He doesn't seem to understand that Snape could have been killed -- or turned into a werewolf, which is possibly worse. And James could have been killed, trying to save Snape." His hands tightened into fists. "And the worst is that he doesn't understand at all what that might mean to me. That he would have made me into a murderer, or worse. That he would have consigned me to a life of Hell for a few moments of petty revenge."
Lily frowned. If she picked up on these finer points within five minutes of knowing Lupin's story, how could one of his supposed best friends be so dense? "How can he not realize that?"
He sighed. "He doesn't understand what it's like, with the wolf living inside. He thinks it's like... like an Animagus transformation. You turn into an animal, you turn back -- simple."
She rolled her eyes. "And welcome to another thrilling episode of 'he couldn't be that stupid -- oh wait, yes, he can.' I'm sorry. It must be painful for you to lose a friend like this."
"Oh, I haven't lost him. He'll come around, eventually, and I'll forgive him, and we'll go on. That's what friends do, right?"
Looking at the barely concealed hope in his face, Lily couldn't bring herself to say no -- but she couldn't lie, either. "As long as you're satisfied with his apology," she said.
"Well, there isn't one yet. But eventually there will be."
Lily sat down under the shade of a tree, mulling over everything Remus had told her. Finally, she asked, "Why did you tell me all of this? You didn't have to, you know."
"Yes, I did." He dropped down to sit next to her. "You're my fellow prefect. You needed to know. Especially as -- as I'm resigning."
"No! Don't do that -- you're a good prefect."
"No, I'm not. I don't stand up to James and Sirius and Peter."
"I don't either. I refer them to you!"
He chuckled. "I try to rein them in, sometimes, but it never works. They don't listen. And now -- now it's become very clear to me that I shouldn't serve as a role model for the school, not when I'm a Dark creature --"
"You aren't Dark!"
"The wolf is. I appreciate your vote of confidence -- I liked being a prefect." He toyed with a stray thread on the cuff of his robe. "But this is the compromise I promised myself. I'll finish my education at Hogwarts, get my N.E.W.T.s -- but I'm resigning from the prefect role."
"I think you're wrong about not being a good prefect. You're the only other prefect who willingly works to get things done, and you know how to be diplomatic, which is rare. But if you feel this is what you have to do... I don't like it, but I understand." She put a melodramatic hand over her heart. "I shall just have to struggle on without you..."
That got a chuckle from Remus. "No extra guilt for me, please. I've got more than enough on my own. Of course, now that James has sworn off pranking, things will be different."
Lily couldn't quite believe what she'd heard. "James Potter? Am I hallucinating or did you just say James Potter has sworn off pranking?"
"He says that things went too far, that pranks are what built up to this in the first place, and that the pranks have gotten out of hand anyway -- too dangerous, too likely for people to get hurt in the crossfire."
"Do you think he means it?"
"Yes. He's angry, you see -- in saving Snape, he's put Snape in his debt, which Snape doesn't want and James certainly doesn't want. In fact, he doesn't want anyone to know about it -- not even you."
"I see. I shall be as silent as the grave--"
"No need. I told him I was going to tell you everything -- I thought you deserved to know why I was abandoning you." He smiled. "And besides, James said you were curious about the whole thing."
"I wasn't curious, precisely..."
"He said you quizzed Peter about it. Said that you nearly vamped the poor boy, with flattery and--"
"I merely thanked him for... never mind," she said, exasperated, as Remus grinned at her. "Of course I'm curious when it affects my House -- and it has affected Gryffindor, not because of your behavior, but because of Potter's and Black's ongoing antagonism." She was trying to keep to the high road, but it wasn't easy.
"You sound just like McGonagall."
"Hardly likely, as she told me to stay out of it." She plucked at a blade of grass. "What are you going to tell the other prefects, and the Head Boy and Girl?"
"Same thing I've always done -- family obligations. It's a fine excuse. It has tradition behind it." He stood up. "We should be getting back soon, or we'll miss dinner."
She took his hand and let him help her up. "Thank you, Remus. For telling me all of this. I'm honored that you shared your secret with me."
"You're welcome. Now that I know you're okay with it -- well, I wish I'd told you a long time ago."
Full
Lily wasn't nearly so sanguine when Remus' replacement was named a week later, just after Remus had left for another "family trip."
"It would have to be Potter, wouldn't it?" she moaned to her mirror, after the announcement was made at dinner.
"Don't make faces like that, dear, they'll stick," the mirror replied.
Lily stuck her tongue out at the mirror, but then grinned. "Oh well. It'll be interesting to see him and the Slytherins go at each other."
To her great surprise, though, Potter was quiet -- subdued, even -- in the meeting. He deferred to her as the more experienced prefect, and was unfailingly professional.
After the meeting, she tried to hurry out of the room, but Potter easily caught her up. "No running in the halls, Evans," he reprimanded her, in mock-prefectorial tones.
"This isn't running," she replied.
"Is so."
"Is not."
"All right, is not. But if you'd slow down a bit, I'd like to talk to you."
She looked up to see that the teasing light was gone from Potter's eyes. She slowed her pace to a sedate stroll. "Is this better?"
"Yes." He paused, waiting for a group of firsts to go past. "I wanted to thank you for -- for Remus. For being so kind about his... condition."
"No thanks necessary. Despite his association with you, Remus is a decent sort."
"Why, I believe I've been mildly insulted." He gave her a small grin. "Anyway. I didn't agree with him stepping down as prefect, or with me stepping up. But ... I am going to take the job seriously. I know you take it seriously. You've been a good prefect, Evans, even if we were at cross-purposes sometimes. I promise, I won't make you regret that I've been made prefect."
Lily stopped short. "You really mean that?"
"Yeah." He looked at her, and for once, didn't purposefully mess up his hair or give her a lascivious glare. "Yeah, I mean it."
She didn't believe it. Or rather, she didn't believe it would last. As much as he meant it now, he'd never be able to make it stick. But she merely said "Then -- thank you. I appreciate it."
"You're welcome."
They walked on in silence, for a moment, before Lily asked, "Is Remus doing all right?"
"Yeah. He'll be back tomorrow. Sirius apologized to him before he left, which made Remus feel much better, I think."
"I'm glad. Although I think Black's actions are completely inexcusable. I don't know if I could forgive him."
"He isn't forgiven yet, not by a long shot," Potter said, bluntly. "But he is truly sorry. He recognizes how much he hurt Remus, and he's trying to make amends. Remus ticked him off pretty thoroughly, didn't leave a thing out. I don't think Sirius has ever had to face up to consequences before. It's a change for him." James frowned. "I'm still angry about what he did, but I can't deny that he's trying."
Lily nodded.
"Well. I've got Quidditch practice. Thanks again, Lily, for Remus. He won't tell you this himself, but I think he's relieved to have someone else -- someone outside our group, I mean -- accept him. Means a lot. See you."
He was off down the corridor, and she leaned against one of the columns that lined the hallway, wondering.
Potter seemed sincere about what he was saying -- but again, she had no faith that his sincerity would outlast his current anger at Black. At least he was trying, though. She had to give him that. And in doing so, she couldn't continue to think of him as an arrogant bullying jerk, could she?
Footsteps thundered in the hallway, and she looked up just as Potter skidded to a stop in front of her. "Forgot to ask. Now that I've turned over a new leaf, you'll go out with me, right?"
Lily smiled. Some things, she thought, would never change. "Not if you were the last student at Hogwarts."
"Right." He nodded briskly. "Good to know we're still on the same footing there. 'Bye!" He dashed off down the hall again.
"No running in the halls, Potter!" she called after him.
His answering laugh echoed through the hall, and she had to smile.
Author's notes: "...some consideration for others is necessary in community life." Lily is quoting Dorothy L. Sayers here, probably with malice aforethought.