Longing for Lethe

Longing for Lethe

By: pandorabox82

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I am not anywhere near JKR´s writing style because I am not her. I just happen to be borrowing her characters for a little bit so I can get this story out of me. Don´t sue, because I am a typical college student, and have nothing.

Author´s Note: Here it is, the long-awaited chapter nine! Some of y´all might not be too happy with me after this, but it seemed like a natural place to end it, the chapter that is. Yes, you will see Hermione, and yes, you will see Severus. More clues as to who I think Sybill should be played by, they are really blatant to me. And if you don´t love/hate Gilderoy by the end of this chapter, I applaud you. Chapter ten will be out soon, hopefully! My group for this story is: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LongingforLethe, hope to see you all there!

Ron stood outside her office for a few moments, trying to comprehend all that had just occurred. As he walked back to the library, his thoughts were a million miles away. `Why didn´t Harry´s dad believe Snape? I mean, if a Death Eater came to my house and told me I had to get to safety, that Voldemort was coming after me and mine, I´d believe him, wouldn´t I?´ So lost in thought was he, he never realised there was a person in front of him until he bumped into that someone.

"Good afternoon, Mr Weasley."

"Hullo, Professor Dumbledore. I didn´t mean to run into you. It´s just..."

"You´ve got a lot on your mind. Harry´s headed out to the Quidditch pitch. You could still catch him, if you like."

"No, it´s best for all of us if I left him alone for a bit. Say, you knew the Potter´s, right?"

"Yes, Ron, I did."

"Do you know how they were in school?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, we went up to see Hermione today, and we got in a row with her, and then Harry and I went to the library, to look at the annuals, and we found a picture of Snape and Harry´s mum together. I suggested that we talk to Professor Trelawney about it, so we did. She said that Harry´s mum was just using Snape. Would she really have done something so horrible?"

"Ron, I wish I could say that wasn´t true, but while in school, Severus was an easy mark for ridicule. Children are so unwilling to be nice to anyone remotely different from them. I know you know about what happened at the Whomping Willow all those years ago, but did you know that little stunt almost got Professor Lupin expelled and sent to Azkaban? Teasing often has unforeseen consequences, and can sometimes solidify an obstinate person´s way of thinking."

"But Mrs Potter died a hero! Heroes don´t have those kind of things in them!"

"Ron, would you say Professor Snape is a hero?"

"He did do a lot of good for our side, risking his life many times. I guess that makes him a hero."

"Yet he was a former Death Eater. He tortured people for the other side, sometimes killed them. You´ve had first-hand experience at how he runs his class. Is he still a hero, even with all the things he´s done?"

"Of course! He knew he´d made a mistake, and tried to make up for it. I don´t know if I could be as strong," Ron said. "But the thing I don´t get is why didn´t they listen to Professor Snape´s warning?"

"Hubris is the downfall of many a great man, Ron. Now, run along and catch up with Harry. The fresh air will help you clear your mind."

"Yes, I suppose it will. One last thing, though. Is Professor Lockhart any better today?"

"Ron, there´s been no change since August, you know that."
"Yes, well, I was thinking he might do better here. Hogwarts is a rose among thorns, after all." Ron pressed on, "Think about it, he´d be back in a familiar setting, with people who once knew him. This could be the key to his memory return."

"Is that all there is to it?" Albus gently probed.

"Well, it would do a world of good for Professor Trelawney as well. I´ll talk to you later, Sir." Giving Albus a short nod, he walked into the library.

`When did these children grow up?´ he wondered as he walked to his office to begin his letter to St Mungo´s, asking that one Gilderoy Lockhart be released to the care of Hogwarts.

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"Here´s the annual, Madam Pince. We finished with it sooner than expected. Say, is there any way we could get these started back up again? I think they´re absolutely fascinating."

"I´ll have to speak with Professor Dumbledore about it, but I don´t forsee any objections to it. After all, now is a time of peace, and we can affordto think about matters as frivolous as annuals."

"Thank you, Madam Pince, I really appreciate it." Ron walked out of the library, a smile on his face. He stopped by Gryffindor Tower and picked up his broom, before hurrying out to the Quidditch pitch. Once there, he saw Harry had released only one Bludger, and was furiously whacking it away eack time it came near. Picking up the other Beater club, Ron kicked off the ground, joining his friend.

"Did she send you out here to talk to me?" Harry yelled as Ron slammed the Bludger back towards him.

"No, it was Dumbledore. He was concerned about you, like we all are. Where´s all this anger coming from?"

"You´re a fine one to talk, Mr I-Get Angry-With-My-Friends-Over-Dumb-Things. Remember our fourth year?"

"Yeah, but I´ve worked through that. What´s your excuse, Harry? Has the truth finally gotten to you?"

"Look, just because my mum did something really bad to Snape doesn´t make her the devil´s hand maiden."

"Harry, even Malfoy wouldn´t pull the kind of stunt your mother did."

"Yeah, well then maybe your best friend should be Malfoy! I´m tired of this. I´m going to go inside - and don´t you follow me!" Harry captured the Bludger and sent it crashing back into its´ box. He then sped off towards the castle, still on his broom.

Ron watched the retreating form of his friend, and gave a haevy sigh. `When did I grow up?´ he thought, `And why did I never see this in Harry until now?´ Landing his broom, he put away the Quidditch equipment before heading back to the castle, his mind mulling over the events of the day.

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Hermione was taking a short nap when the door to the infirmary burst open. She struggled to sit up and see who was causing all the commotion when she heard Madam Pomfrey´s voice. "I told you not to come back until she sent for you. As of yet, she has not done so. Please leave before I call for Professor McGonagall."

"I need to speak with her. This is important!"

"Is there a problem, Poppy?" Hermione heard Dumbledore´s low voice added to the conversation.

"No, Sir. Mr Potter was just leaving, isn´t that right?"

"Yes, Madam Pomfrey. I will await your summons." Hermione heard him stomp out of the room, muttering under his breath.

"I daresay that the past is coming back to repeat itself, Poppy."

"I know, he´s becoming more like his father with eack passing day. It pains me to keep him from Miss Granger, but right now, all he does is upset her, and she doesn´t need that on top of everything else."

"The Circle of Fate has played this scenario out many times. I can only hope that Severus and Miss Granger make it out of this safely, this time."

"You don´t think..."

"I do, but I know she´ll make the right choice. Now, about why I´m here..."

His voice trailed off as they moved towards Madam Pomfrey´s office. Sensing that nothing else would be happening, she drifted back into a light sleep.

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"Poppy, how would you feel about having another semi-permanent patient?"

"Who´s injured now, Albus?"

"Well, it´s not exactly a new injury. Rather, this person would be coming here to recuperate after an accident that happened years ago."

"And you want them here?"

"There are some who think he would be better in more familiar surrounding than St Mungo´s."

"Exactly who might your mystery patient be, Albus?"

"Gilderoy."

"Albus! After the way he left things with Sybill? Are you sure this is wise?"

"I believe it is long past time for reconciliation. Besides, I was approached by a student who wanted to do this for Sybill, thinking it would do her good. I happen to agree. All I await of the letter from St Mungo´s telling me he´s being released into our care. So, how do you feel about having him here?"

"As long as he stays out of trouble, I´m sure he´ll be fine here. I just don´t know how Sybill´s going to react when she hears the news."

"I do not plan on telling her for awhile, at least not until he´s here in the castle."

"That´s your choice, Albus. I just hope it doesn´t end up hurting her." Just then, there was a knock at the infirmary door. "If you´ll excuse," Poppy said as she stood up from the table they´d been sitting at.

"I must be going myself. I´ll walk you to the door."

Together, they walked out to the infirmary door, and Poppy opened it to reveal a splotchy faced Sybill. "I´ve come to speak with Hermione. Is she free?"

"Let me check to see if she´s awake, dear. Albus, I´ll talk to you later?"

"As soon as I receive that owl, I will let you know, Poppy." Giving Sybill an indulgent smile, he patted her shoulder. "Don´t worry, Sybill. Everything will work out just fine, you´ll see." He then exited the room, leaving Sybill standing by herself in the foyer.

A few moments later, Poppy came out to get her. "She´s just woken from a nap, so she´s a little groggy, but she wants to see you."

"Thank you, Poppy."

"Is everything all right? You seem really upset."

"Oh, I was reliving some painful memories today."

"Anything to do with Harry and Ron?"

"Why, yes. How did you, of wait, they were here earlier today, weren´t they?"

"That´s right. I declare, every time that boy leaves someone they are either angry, or crying, or both. He needs to realise that the world does not revolve around him!" Poppy paused, then spoke once more. "Here I am, eating up your time with Miss Granger. Go in, talk to her. It will do you both a world of good."

"Thanks, Poppy." Sybill glided past the medi-witch, a faint smile on her face.

`The Potter family has destroyed enough lives already - Sybill and Hermione do not deserve to be added to that list,´ Poppy thought as she went to her office to prepare for what she considered to be the inevitable - Gilderoy Lockhart´s return.

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A hesitant Ron stood in front of Severus Snape´s office. When he rapped on the door, it was in the unconscious rhythm of the `Funeral March´. Even though Ron knew Professor Snape hated having any one disturb him, this was important, and already six months too late.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and Ron had to fight down a surge of panic. "Good afternoon, Sir."

"If you´re here about your grade, I´m afraid it won´t do any good. I do not offer extra credit work, as you should know by now."

"No, Sir, this is not about my grade. It is about something much more important than grades."

"Well, then, what is it? I haven´t got all day!"

"I just came to thank you, Sir, for your contributions in the war. It is an honour to be taught by you."

"Do you take me for a fool, Weasley? Where´s Potter, hiding somewhere recording this so you can laugh at me later?"

"I do not have any idea where Harry is at the moment, nor do I care. He needs to work through some issues before we can really talk once more. No, I just came to give my appreciation to you. I meant what I said - being taught by you is a high honour." Cautiously, Ron stuck out his wand hand, showing Snape that it was free of a wand, and stared unflinchingly into the stony eyes of his Potions Master. Slowly, Severus returned the favor, extending his hand and grasping his pupil´s. It was a hard, business-like shake they exchanged, and Ron admired the strength of character Snape had.

"And now, if you´ll excuse me, Mr Weasley, I have potions work to do."

"Of course, Sir. I´m sorry to have disturbed you."

"Weasley - never be sorry to admit you´re taking the moral high road. 10 points to Gryffindor." There was no hint of a smile on his face, nor no note of pleasure in his voice, yet somehow Ron knew Professor Snape´s opinion of him had changed for a more favourable estimation.

"Good day, Sir." With a slight nod, Ron turned and exited the area. Severus watched his retreating form ascend into the brightness of the rest of the castle. `So, he´s finally displaying some of his mother´s sense of honour. It suits him well. If only Potter would take a page from his book,´ Severus thought, once corner of his mouth slightly upturned. `Now, back to Longbottom´s essay...´

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Hermione knew something was wrong the minute Sybill slipped into her room. She was looking at the ground, and her shoulders were hunched forwards, as if she were trying to become invisible. The faint smile that played about her lips was more melancholy than happy. Hermione patted the bed, and Sybill took a seat. "What´s wrong, Sybill?"

"It´s just been a long day, m´dear. I heard you had a disturbing encounter earlier, though," Sybill replied, neatly turning the focus of the conversation.

"Well, if they would only grow up a little, maybe I wouldn´t have reacted as harshly. I love them, but they need to realise that I´ve grown up, while they´ve stayed the same."

"Is that a fair statement?"

"Yes! Harry is being such a prat, and Ron just lets him be."

"You should tell Ron the truth about you and Severus."

"Are you starkers?!? Ron would go mental if I told him! He hates Severus!"

"Not after today, I believe."

"Why?"

"Well, after they left the infirmary, they went to the library to look through annuals. Ron found pictures of Harry´s mother and Severus together at Quidditch matches. Harry´s reaction got them removed from the library, and they decided to ask me about what the pictures meant."

"Did you tell them everything?"

"No, just enough to get Harry angry. Anyway, it´s Ron´s reaction to Harry that leads me to believe that if you told him, he´d be okay with the whole thing."

"Well, how´d he react?" Hermione asked breathlessly.

"Instead of following after Harry, as he would have done in the past, he stayed to make certain that I was going to be okay."

"See, I knew something was wrong. What did Harry say that upset you so much that Ron would stay behind to be nice to you?"

"He was trying to defend his parents´ honour, and I kept refuting that, using Severus as my model of a hero. Harry didn´t much like that and bolted from the room. I didn´t want to disillusion him, but everyone has fed him this false image of his parents, and hearing the truth can be rough. I could have been a bit nicer about it, but I was lashing out at him for what he´s said about Severus and Gil."

"Who is this Gil you keep mentioning?"

"May I see what Harry and Ron made you, please?"

"Sure, but it doesn´t work. No one can see who you love but yourself." Hermione handed the globe to Sybill.

"Do you remember who Ron or Harry saw when they shook this globe?"

"I can´t recall if Harry said or not, but I know Ron was highly bothered by the fact he saw his mother in the globe as his love."

"Then he hasn´t met his true love yet. Watch and learn." Sybill shook the globe and then showed it to Hermione. "Who do you see in there?" she asked as the snow settled.

"I see you and Remus Lupin?!? That doesn´t make sense!"

"You´re right, it doesn´t. Omina Vincet Amor. Now, look again - who do you see?"

"You and Professor Lockhart. But that´s who Ron and Harry saw! See, I told you this thing didn´t work!"

"Call Madam Pomfrey in here, and have her shake the globe."

"All right, but I still say it doesn´t work. Madam Pomfrey, could you come here a moment?"

She bustled in a few seconds later. "Yes, Hermione, what is it?"

"Would you shake this please? Sybill´s trying to prove that it works." She handed the globe to Poppy who vigorously shook it. "There you are - one well shaken globe. Do you need anything else?"

"Not right now, thank you," Hermione replied. As soon as Madam Pomfrey left, she checked the globe. "Now it´s Poppy and Remus! What´s going on?"

"It´s a feature I built into the globe. Until you meet someone whose true love is Remus, Remus will be who you see as the fake, if you want to keep your love a secret."

"Is that why you said `Love Conquers All´ while you were holding the globe? To reveal your true love to all?"

"You catch on quickly, Hermione."

"But that means your Gil is Gilderoy Lockhart. Oh dear, how tragic!" Hermione hadn´t noticed that Sybill had silently begun to weep until she looked at her to ask another question. "Oh Sybill, how insensitive of me!" She sat up a little straighter and pulled Sybill into a tight embrace. "What a pair we are, Sybill. I can´t tell my love he´s my love, and your love can´t remember you. Fate can be so cruel."

"The wheel of Fate plays no favourites. It just keeps turning, or so some believe."

"Dumbledore was here earlier, and he said that the circle of Fate had dealt with Severus and me before. Is that true?"

"Fate has set up this scenario many times, it´s just never been the right time for your relationship to work. Now is the time, and it will happen if you proceed delicately."

"Do you believe in a circle of Fate?"

"Let me put it this way. The future stands before us not as one great circle, but as the roots of a tree. Each decision that we could make is a split, and they stretch into eternity. To say Fate plays certain things over and over again until they are right requires that the same decisions be made once again by different people. There is no way that can occur. Yes, I believe in Fate - we are destined to make some decisions, even if they are bad ones. But I see Fate as being like the future is - linear and branching, not cyclical."

"So, what you´re saying is that because I chose to do my thinking in the Astronomy Tower, and thus was attacked there, and Severus saved me, because of those choices, Fate made us true loves?"

"Yes."

"It makes my head hurt."

"I know it´s a but confusing, and I´m not sure I understand it all yet - and I´m a Divinations expert!"

"Then we´ll be two women in love, confused, together. Now, you were going to tell me about your true love today. Remember, I asked you about it yesterday?"

"So you did. Well, what do you want to know?"

"Was Lockhart always such a prat?"

"He was always conscious of his image, yes, but it wasn´t until he published his first book that he began to get out of hand."

"So, what was he like before that, then?"

"One of the sweetest people I´d ever met. After we´d been dating for a few weeks, he found out that I hated my first name. I wanted no part of any Seer to be associated with me - I just wanted to be normal. So, he took to calling me Rose, which is part of my middle name. He´d bring me flowers, lily of the valley, violets, anything he could get from Professor Sprout. He could charm the hair off a dog, if he tried, and he tried to protect me from everything."

"Then where did it go wrong? I mean you still love him, and yet you´re not together."

"My first year out of Hogwarts, we were travelling on the Continent when he came across this quiet little hamlet that had just banished its ghouls. He thought it would make an interesting story, and took down all the crucial information. We moved on to the next town, and the next, collecting their stories, and I never once realised that he was Charming the people to forget who´d actually done the work. I was blindly in love, and it wasn´t until his first book was actually published that I found out his ways of getting fame."

"So did you confront him about what he´d done?"

"Oh, yes, and we got in an awfully big row over it. I told him that people would still enjoy his stories even if he gave the proper people credit, but he wouldn´t believe me. He loved the attention he was getting too much to give it up."

"Is that when you went your separate ways?"

"No, not just yet. As you know, Voldemort was at the peak of his power, and he wanted a Seer to tell him his future. And Gil saw this as the perfect opening to write a new book - `Dueling With Dark Lords´."

"He didn´t, he couldn´t, he loved you."

"Yes, yes, and yes. I was his love, yet I was the perfect bait for him. Somehow, he got me to Wales, and told me he´d be right back. I was left alone in a remote village when a pair of Death Eaters broke down the door to the cabin we were staying in and spirited me away. Little did I know then that Gil was following the apparition trail, under an Invisibility Cloak. I had no time to be scared or angry, all I could do was hope everything would turn out all right. The Death Eaters pushed me to my knees in front of one of the most sinfully handsome men I had ever seen. His eyes, though, were ice cold. Unable to keep my gaze on him, I averted my eyes, and he took this as a sign that I was submitting to him."

"Well, what happened next? Did he hurt you?"

"Strangely, no he didn´t just then. I´d heard tales of his unspeakable cruelty, yet he chose to leave me unscathed. He held out his hand, and I accepted it nervously. He pulled me to my feet and led me to a beautiful room, perfect for divining. On a table in front of us lay tarot cards, a scrying mirror, runes, a crystal ball. He pulled out the chair and bade me sit. Not wanting to test his patience, I did so and began to lay out a Celtic Cross spread for him. Everything came up swords, a very bad omen. I began to read his cards aloud to him, and when I reached what lay ahead of him, I draw a blank as to what happened in the following five minutes. It´s as if something other than me came into ne and spoke through me." Sybill paused to catch her breath.

"Then you are the one who prophesied his downfall! But why didn´t Sev get you out of there?"

"Voldemort only brought two others with him - the ones who took me. Sev wasn´t one of them. So, after I evidently gave this prophecy, I was awoken from the trance by intense pain."

"He Crucio-d you," Hermione breathed, a look of horror washing over her face, and she wrapped her arm around Sybill´s waist. "Oh, dear heart, how horrible! And Gil never made a move to save you?"

"No, I can´t remember if he did or not. All I can recall is a ring being shoved in my hand, and I was back in Hogsmeade. Gil was there, and he led me to Hogwarts and spoke with Albus. Not once did Gil enquire as to if I was all right - he was just excited that he had been in the Dark Lord´s presence without getting noticed. Albus was the one to comfort me and send me up to see Poppy, who gave me a potion that made me sleep. The next day, Gil was gone, and I had a job at Hogwarts where I would always be safe."

"And you never heard from Gil again?"

"No, never a letter or a visit until he came here to teach. I hardly came down to eat that year, I couldn´t bear to see him so near, and yet so far away. Sometimes I wonder if Albus didn´t say something to him after I´d left all those years ago, to spare me any more pain."

"Do you still have the ring?"

"Yes, I wear it always. Would you like to see it?" Reaching into her robe, she pulled out a thin gold chain to which the ring was affected. Slipping it off, she handed it to Hermione, who carefully accepted it.

Hermione turned the ring over and over, looking for a pattern on the smooth golden band, but she found no distinguishing marks. She slipped it on her ring finger to feel how heavy it was. As soon as it was resting past her second knuckle, it glowed a bright gold for a moment, and then was back to its original colour. Excitedly, she tore the ring off her finger. "Sybill, give me your left hand!"

"Why? Have you found out something about the ring?"

"Yes! You never wore it on your hand, correct?"

"That´s right. I always wore it on the chain, never my hands."

"Well, be prepared for a shock, Sybill."

Sybill held out her hand, and Hermione gently pushed the ring on. This time, the golden glow lasted longer and shone a brighter colour than it had before. And then, before either of them could say anything, Gilderoy´s voice came to them.

"Rose, you are loved. Not because I love you, though I do, but because you are love. If you are listening to this, you are safe from the Dark Lord´s clutches. I never meant for you to get hurt - I was going to take him out myself. But then I got frightened, when I saw he was going to Crucio you. I made this, and put my thoughts in it, so even if you were unsure of my actions, you would know my heart. I know you can never forgive me for what I did. Just know this - you are loved."