The Honorary Maid

Harry felt quite sure that he was in love as he turned away, starry eyed, from the store window. She was so...perfect. Her hair was just the right shade of sun-kissed blonde with some lighter blonde highlights, her eyes a dark blue with just some subtle hints of green. He sighed, wishing she could be his.

Dejectedly, he walked away, hands stuffed in the pockets of the jeans he was wearing. He was trying to think, and in doing so, almost ran into several walls, quite a few people, and one or two doors. However, he somehow managed to narrowly avoid disaster as he walked out to the bench to wait for the bus. You see, the Dursleys had gone on vacation to New York City, and had (quite reluctantly) brought him along. In fact, the only reason they did bring him was because they were afraid that if they left him, he might destroy the house or do something to tarnish their good name. And so, they had bought him an economy plane ticket and stuffed him in the very back of the plane, as far away as possible from them, for they all had first-class tickets. Well, he thought dejectedly, at least he had even gotten to come. With this thought, the bus came, and he quickly boarded and rode back to the hotel where they were staying. The only reason he had had to come back so soon was because the Dursleys had made a deal with the maids that Harry would help them clean the rooms. He snorted derisively. Ha, if only the wizard world could see the great and famous Harry Potter now, scrubbing floors and making beds! The maid in charge yelled at him as he came slouching along down the hallway.

"You are four whole minutes late! You had better have a good excuse, or else I will tell your aunt and uncle that you are shirking your duties as an honorary maid!" she screamed at him.

"I...I...well..."

"Ha, I knew it! Well, I suppose I'll just be heading off to go have a little chat with your uncle then..." she said, the sentence trailing away as she turned and briskly started walking down the hall.

"Okay, okay already! I was at the mall. What exactly I was doing doesn't concern you."

Turning back, she sneered at him. "Well, well, well, I suppose you were flirting with all the American girls, hmmm? Thought they would like your nasty little British accent, did you? Well, honorary maid, I suppose I'll let you off this time...but if this unacceptable behavior continues, I shall be forced to fire you."

Sheesh, I was only four minutes late! What is wrong with that woman?? I mean...hang on a sec, fire me?? When was I ever hired??? I mean, it's not like I ever asked to be made an 'honorary maid'! Well, I guess I had better get started before that vile woman glares a hole right through me. If I don't get started, I imagine she'll probably skin me alive, and have fun doing it! Well, off I go...

And so he turned and knocked on the first door, and when there was no reply, trudged in to begin his work.

~*~*~*~*~

Harry's face was once again pressed to the glass of the window as he gazed upon the girl of his dreams. He sighed as he again beheld her perfectness, which he had not seen since that morning before his maid duties. If only he could approach her...but it might be odd seeing a teenager like himself walking into a kids' toy store in a mall. Of course, this was New York City...he might be able to get away with it. I mean, you saw much weirder things in New York than in Britain. People with hair down to almost the ground, people with lime green hair, not to mention people with hair that had been dyed with all the colors of the rainbow. So, with these encouraging thoughts, he confidently strode forward into the store. Almost immediately, a passersby called out, "Hey everyone, look at that kid going into the toy store!" This, of course, made it so that almost everyone's heads whipped around and began to stare at him, probably wondering what the heck a teen like him was doing strolling nonchalantly into a toy store that only the little kids went to. His face burning in shame, he hastily left and ran to the nearby park.

Why, why did I have to do that? he berated himself silently as he sat, face still burning, on the park bench. Why did I have to make a fool of myself? He dropped his head into his hands. Well, just so long as the Dursleys don't find out...that would really be embarrassing.

~*~*~*~*~

Of course he did not know that in fact, Dudley had witnessed the whole thing and was now running (okay, not running, more like walking at a snail's pace) to tell his parents. He grinned evilly. Oh, wait until they find out what Harry's done! I'm sure we'll have just a grand time at dinner tonight humiliating him with that. Oh, I can't wait for dinnertime to come...

At long last, he reached their hotel. Panting, he got in the elevator and relaxed as it slowly began its ascent. When finally he burst into the room, his parents were quite startled to see him.

"Are you all right, Diddykins?" asked his mother with a concerned look on her face.

"I'm fine, mother. Better than fine actually. Wait until I tell you what I've just seen..."

~*~*~*~*~

By dinnertime that evening, the Dursleys, all the maids, and for that matter, almost all of the hotel staff knew what Harry had done. And so, as he came walking through the lobby, a sweeper smirked at him, in the elevator a maid whom he did not know giggled at him while trying to hide it, and a bellboy laughed openly at him. He walked into the hotel room with a feeling of dread gathering in the pits of his stomach. When they spotted him, all three of the Dursleys began to laugh, and Harry knew that they knew what he had done that afternoon.

"So," smirked Dudley, "did you want to buy a dolly for yourself? Or were you looking for a blanket for you to sleep with at night?"

"Shut up, Dudley," Harry said through gritted teeth.

"Why don't you make me?" he mocked.

"Why you...!" and Harry launched himself across the room at his cousin, trying to get his hands around his massive neck so that he could strangle him.

"Oh, Diddykins!"

All of sudden, Harry couldn't breathe anymore. "And just what do you think you're doing, trying to strangle my son?" said a soft voice behind him.

"Let go of me, Uncle Vernon! Right now!!!" he barked at his uncle, scratching and kicking the whole time, trying to get him to let go.

"Hmmm, I think this may mean more maid duties for you. What do you think, Petunia?"

Trembling, she nodded fiercely.

"WILL YOU LET GO OF ME ALREADY?!?" Harry shouted, twisting within his uncle's strong grip.

"All right, you want to be let go? Oh, I'll let you go all right...OFF OF THE BALCONY!!" his uncle roared.

"Oh, yeah, I'm scared, shaking in my trainers as a matter of fact," he said sarcastically.

"Don't back sass me, boy," he spat, dragging Harry over to the door that led out onto the balcony.

"Please, no, don't drop me, Uncle Vernon!" he said in a high, girly voice, pretending to shake with terror.

"Why you...!"

"Uncle Vernon," he said, voice back to normal, "we're on the ground floor. Where am I going to go? Hmmm? I mean, seriously."

"That's it, even more maid duties for you now!" he screamed, and slammed the door behind him as he went to find the maid in charge, whose name was Rose. He he, he thought, she's so ugly and smelly that her name should be something more like 'Compost Heap'. Yes, that would do nicely. Just better not call her that to her face, then I'll really be in for it.

~*~*~*~*~

Harry was on his knees in his apron, scrubbing the bathroom floor in room 213. Someone (unfortunately for him) had gotten sick during the night and hadn't quite made it to the toilet, instead throwing up on the floor, leaving a nice mess for him to clean up. The person, whom he had run into on his way in, had said he was very sorry, although he was quite relieved that it wasn't him that had to clean it up. He had then joked, "Well, at least I didn't throw up on the carpet!" At this, Harry had groaned, although he was quite glad of this too. The man, who was still slightly green looking, had then promptly left. As soon as I'm done, I'm going to go see her, no matter who laughs at me! Of course he meant the girl in the toy store. Only nine more rooms to go, he consoled himself. Then I can get out of here and finally introduce myself.

~*~*~*~*~

He walked in confidently, not caring who saw him or who laughed at him. He was on a mission. Walking over, he quickly introduced himself as Harry, and everything went smoothly from there. Fifteen minutes later, he walked up to the register, paid, and then happily walked out of the store holding the girl of his dreams, his brand new Cali Girl Barbie doll.