Beyond the Veil

BEYOND THE VEIL, PART 2

*In this second part to Beyond The Veil, Sirius learns not only whom the woman is who has taken him in, but also where he is (to some extent). The mystery deepens as Sirius discovers that Heaven and Earth aren't so black and white as he thinks they are.

The visions swarmed through his head like a nest of angry bees. He saw himself being beaten by his mother, his father yelling at him, his brother laughing in his face. He saw himself at school with James, Lily, and Remus. He grimaced when he saw a particularly (at the time) poignant memory of himself and Peter. He had been trying to explain to Peter how to act around girls as Peter had always been a rather bumbling fool with them. The anger rose in him at this memory, at all memories involving Peter. Something inside of him struggled to move past this particular flood of memories. Suddenly, he was at James and Lily's house, holding their son. He now knew the boy in his earlier visions was this same child he was holding here. He saw himself looking down at the baby and it was too much.

"We're calling him Harry. Harry James Potter. Say hello to your godson, Sirius..."

The memory blasted apart as Sirius shifted uncontrollably in his sheets. He couldn't fight it anymore. When he awoke, the man called Sirius Black was feverish. He felt something damp on his forehead and felt it with his hand, realizing it was nothing more than a wet washcloth. He sat up in the bed and turned to see the woman sitting there, watching him.

"How do you feel, Sirius?" She asked, brushing a strand of her red hair out of her eyes.

When Sirius looked into her face, the realization finally hit him.

"L...Lily?" He croaked suddenly, tears filling his eyes.

The woman looked away from Sirius, as if the name stung her. Sirius searched her face and she looked back up at him, nodding slowly.

"But you... I mean... you're..." Sirius spoke slowly, fearful of saying the next word.

"Dead?" Lily finished for Sirius.

Sirius nodded sadly.

"Sirius, this isn't going to make a lot of sense, but yes, I am dead. So is James..." Lily started, stopping once she saw Sirius shift uncomfortably at her words.

"So am I, then?" Sirius asked after a moment's silence.

Lily didn't say anything to that. Sirius looked at her pleadingly.

"Lily, tell me. I need to know..." Sirius said, quietly placing a hand on Lily's shoulder.

"Sirius, it's more complicated than that. You know James and I didn't go through the veil. You know how we died. The thing is, James and I, and some other people, we all seemed to end up here in this place," Lily said looking around and indicating to the surroundings as she spoke to Sirius.

"Is this..." Sirius started, but Lily broke in again.

"Heaven?" Lily answered.

Sirius nodded.

"I've spent the last fourteen years here wondering if this is indeed heaven. James and I talked about it so many times that we're sick of the subject. Still, the nagging suspicion that this might not be heaven keeps coming back. I like to think of it more as an in-between place. Somewhere between heaven and earth. Like I said, it's complicated," Lily said, her voice suddenly becoming tired.

Sirius remained silent for a few moments until something else dawned on him.

"Lily?" he asked.

"Yes?" she answered.

"Where is James?" Sirius asked.

Lily's face fell and the tears began to stream down her face silently.

"He's gone on, Sirius. Without me," Lily replied, looking up to see Sirius' face dawn in recognition of what she was telling him.

"What do you mean he's 'gone on'? Sirius asked, confused.

"I told you it's complicated," Lily replied, getting up and walking towards an open window in the bedroom.

Sirius sat, watching her, waiting for her to speak again. His head hurt from all the thoughts flowing through his mind at this moment.

"Sirius...what if I told you that all the things you thought about heaven just weren't true? What if I told you that the place we were taught to believe from birth on about heaven was nothing more than a waiting game? A place of transition?" Lily asked, turning to look at Sirius.

Sirius looked back at her, confused, sad, and a little angry.

"I'd beg you to tell me it wasn't true," Sirius replied.

"Exactly," Lily answered.

It was then that Sirius saw the anguish in Lily's eyes. She looked tired, sad, and angry at the world, or wherever they were now.

"So what you're telling me is that this place--this ghost town--is all we get of heaven?" Sirius asked.

Lily nodded. "It would appear that way," she said.

Sirius bit back the urge to yell. He just couldn't accept this place as being heaven.

"I don't understand it either, Sirius. I don't want to accept it, but I've been here for so long, waiting for some answer to this whole heaven thing. And this is all I've gotten..." Lily said, quietly.

Slowly, she walked over to Sirius and sat down beside him.

"How long?" he asked, almost trembling.

"I woke up one morning, and he was just gone. Nothing. No explanation, no note from him, nothing from any sort of God or Gods telling me where my James had gone. Just an empty space. I think it's been about a year now..." Lily replied, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Sirius sighed, wiping his own tears away. This was definitely not how he'd pictured heaven. In fact, it was beginning to feel like he was in the exact opposite of heaven. Something just didn't feel right.