The Last and The First

Chapter Four

21^st July 2007

"Well, I suppose I did come to say goodbye. I didn't realise it would be for so long." Sirius grabbed Remus' hand. "It wasn't meant to happen that way. James and Lily were supposed to be here. We were supposed to be together sooner." The two men moved closer to each other, pulling together in a tight embrace.

"But it didn't. And I still have you. Life isn't that bad," Remus said, his voice shaking. They stayed like that for a long time, just sitting, holding each other.

Eventually they moved apart. Both were smiling, tears streaming down their faces. Remus pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and gently wiped the tears away.

"Well," Sirius said, "now you know when I first figured all this out. When did you realise you wanted there to be an us?"

"Now, there's a question! It was our Graduation day. I realised that you weren't just Sirius, my friend. You were ..." Remus faltered, unable to find the words to express himself. "You were so much more." Sirius only stared at him, mute. Remus had felt that for five years.

"But," he started, "you never said anything..." Sirius trailed off.

"You weren't ready love. Hell, I wasn't ready." Remus kissed Sirius lightly on the lips again. "We had just come through a pretty incredible seven years, and for the first time in my life I had friends, but I needed to know more about myself. It wasn't as if I had much experience in the 'ways of love' as you used to call it. You know about most of the people I ever went out with." Sirius smiled proudly.

"I set you up with all of them." At this, Remus laughed quietly, a knowing half-smile on his face.

"Oh contraire, Mon Capitan. You didn't set them all up. I was able to get a few dates of my own accord."

"Now really, Remus. Peter's cousin doesn't count for much. And you know I set you up with your first kiss, it was with that nice Ravenclaw girl, Amelia Bones' sister, Lucy, at the end of OWLS party." Sirius' words didn't have the desired effect. Instead of deflating the look of superiority on Remus' face, it only strengthened it.

"So cocky, Padfoot?" Remus looked like he was enjoying this. "Not to even consider that I had another secret which I had managed to keep from the rest of you. Although, this secret was out of a greater necessity than that little thing about my lycanthropy. I would have been killed if it had gotten out."

"Never! We would have protected you, we were the four Marauders. All for one and one for all!" With this, Sirius started to prance about the room, waving his wand around like a sword.

"Ah, but you three were the biggest threat." At Mooney's words, Sirius stopped dead in his tracks. "If you had learnt of my first kiss, I would not have made it to the OWLS."

"What?" spluttered Sirius, "Why would we...we would never...What?!?" Although Remus was smiling, there was an element of certainty in his voice which Sirius could not ignore. "How are you so sure of that? Who was it? When, where?"

"Well, maybe not kill me, but it would have been close. All of us knew the dangers of crossing each other's territory. It happened a couple of weeks before OWLS, in the library."

"Where else?" Sirius groaned. "Don't tell me, you were studying, and it just happened. I can tell it from your face. But who..." he looked up sharply, his eyes piercing Remus', "Please, tell me it wasn't who I think it was. Tell me it wasn't Lily." Remus looked both uncomfortable and embarrassed.

"Why? Is that such a strange thing from you to except?" Remus stared right back at his friend, searching for some kind of answer. Sirius sighed.

"No, it's not that...actually it makes a lot of sense. You two were such good students,"

"You still manage to make that sound like an insult!"

"And you spent a lot of time together that year, being prefects," Sirius continued, as though he had not been interrupted. "and you were really good friends as well. It just, well, it's Lily. And you. It makes for an interesting love triangle. James must have been furious when he found out. If he found out. Did he?"

"You know, I left that up to Lily, and never asked. Although, I don't look like a frog or some kind of reptile, so I guess he never did find out." Remus started to laugh. "So are you able to except my first kiss?" Sirius nuzzled against his neck.

"I suppose. Especially as I know I'll be your last one."

"Sirius! I never knew you were such a hopeless romantic."

"I might not have been, if James had found out. A frog? Ugh!! I might as well kiss Umbridge!"

"Hmmm, you and Umbridge?" replied Remus, shaking his head. "No, I just can't see it myself. Now, your first kiss...that happened before or after mine?" Sirius made a low grunting sound. "Sorry, I didn't quite get that. What did you say?"

"I said after! Wipe that grin off your face, and stop enjoying this. It wasn't as though I had many to chose from, that I knew about. You, that Ravenclaw a few years above us, and some 'ambiguous' Slytherins, which I didn't even want to know about."

"Such as Lucius? At least, that was the rumour. Ok, so it wasn't me, or Lu...the Slytherins, so...the Ravenclaw?"

"No, he left the year before. It was during the summer after our OWLS."

"When you ran away to James'? So, did we meet him when Peter and I visited after your birthday?"

"You could say that..."

"Sirius, stop avoiding the question. Who was it?"

"James."

"What!?!? When? How? But, James wasn't, at least I didn't know he was..."

"He wasn't. It was what you would call an experiment of sorts. It happened on my birthday. It was the full moon, so obviously you weren't going to be there, and Peter was on holiday with his family."

"I remember. We came to visit the following week."

"Well, we kind of stole some Firewhiskey from the cabinet in his front room, and got extremely drunk. We were talking about what you had told us at the end of the OWLS, about liking boys as well as girls, and about my own preferences, and he said that he didn't understand it at all."

"So evidently," Remus interjected, "the thing to do is to kiss. I thought he was stuck on Lily at that stage though."

"He was. It was more like testing to see if it was what he really wanted. It didn't do anything for him though," Sirius broke off, laughing.

"Oh? The great Sirius Black didn't impress?"

"Well, it was my first kiss. And, no, he wasn't verily impressed. In fact, immediately afterward he ran to the toilet to throw up. When he came back he said he still didn't know what the fuss was about, that girls were much..."

"Kinder, sweeter, more gentle, caring?"

"That they smelled better."

Now the two of them were laughing hard, Sirius holding the stitch in his side. When they finally stopped, they headed back into the kitchen, occasionally cracking up at the memory of something which they had discussed. Sirius turned to Remus, placing his hand on his shoulder.

"I know we have a 'tell-Harry-anything-he-wants-to-know-about-his-parents' deal, but I don't suppose this will be going down in any books, do you?"

"For once, Padfoot, I think you might be right."

"Good, because I didn't want to have to...hey, what do you mean, 'for once'?"

Finitae Manuscriptus (aka: The End)