The Misfortune and Mishaps of Ginny Weasley

Chapter 1: A Bloody Mess in Potions Class

Ginny Weasley hit the dungeon floor running, after having jumped three stairs onto the landing. After almost knocking over poor Neville Longbottom, she finally reached the door to Professor Snape's classroom. Great. There goes another fifty points from Gryffindor. Okay Ginny, just take a deep breath and go in there. Snape's not that bad. Remember what Hermione said. If you fear something, then...no wait, that's not right... if you are scared of the thing, you, er...Oh I don't remember. I'm hopeless. All right, here it goes. Ginny took hold of the large door handle and pushed. CREAK....

"Ms. Weasley," that cold, smooth voice echoed in the small dungeon room. Ginny braced herself for the reprimand and insults that would follow. "Apparently, you deem yourself above this class and do not feel the need to show up on time." Snape glared at the young red-head with icy cold eyes.

"I'm really sorry. You see, I..."

"Silence! Five points from Gryffindor, Ms. Weasley. And if you are ever late to class again...well, you won't let that happen, will you?" Ginny slid into her seat, feeling the eyes of her fellow Gryffindors on her. This was the second time this week she had lost points for the house. This is definitely not gaining me any friends here. She smiled slightly at her sarcasm, but quickly made it disappear as Snape resumed his lesson.

"Now, as I stated just five minutes ago, Wartcap Powder is used in many different potions to produce various abrasive effects. Used alone, does anyone know what it causes?" Snape paused and looked menacingly at the class. Everyone knew that, unless you wore a green emblem on your robe, you'll be made a fool of if you raise your hand. Ginny knew that all too well, as just the other day in class, Snape ridiculed her for mispronouncing the potions master 'Vindictus Chauncentitus Mangarnimum'. But, as the title foreshadows, Ginny was very unfortunate in hoping that this day, this class, this question, would be different. And, to the horror of her Gryffindor housemates still hopeful of winning the House Cup, slowly, Ginny raised her hand.

"Ms. Weasley, do you care to debase another world renowned alchemist, or do you just have to go to the privvy? The oily-haired professor sneered.

"Er, well, Professor, I was just going to answer the question. The effect of the Wartcap Powder is..." Come on, you know this. Remember, Hermione was reading that book. Just answer the bloody question! (bloody, how appropriate). Just then, Ginny realized the sudden, mortifying truth of her present situation. Oh no. Hell no! This can't be happening. It just can't.

"Well Ms. Weasley, we are all waiting." Snape stared with a mix of loathing and confusion as Ginny's face twisted into a look of horror.

"Er, the effect of the, er" God this can't be happening. It can't be that time of the month again! "The final effect is one's skin, er, it becomes" Hermione was right! I should've kept that "flow calendar" or whatever she called it. "Theeffectistheskinwillformathickroughcrust!" Ginny gasped for breath after she spit out the answer as fast as she could.

"Yes, well..." Snape glowered at the fact that the Weasley sister was correct. "That's...a sufficient answer." The Potions professor spat out the words and continued on with the lesson, resenting the correct reply from the young Gryffindor.

Ginny, on the other hand, squirmed in her seat trying to find a way out of the "sticky" situation. This is ridiculous! I can't ask to go to the bathroom. Everyone will see. But I can't wait until the end of class. The damage will be irreparable. Does God hate me? That must be it.

"...and this specific combination causes a thick cloud of green smoke around the affected area but no injury is caused. It is quite impressive. So, you will all concoct this potion and hand it to me by the end of the class period." Snape sat down at his desk and flicked his wand at the blackboard. At that moment, an extensive list of ingredients and instructions appeared in chalk.

Just wonderful. At my moment of crisis, Snape makes me prepare some potion. When would a cloud of green smoke on a part of my body ever come in handy, when? Oh no, an evil dark wizard is coming after me! I know, I'll put some of this potion on my foot and a thick green cloud will appear. Yes, that'll work! Ridiculous. Simply ridiculous.

Ginny then began to mix various ingredients, all the while trying to hide her secret condition. Suddenly, a large green puff appeared near the front of the class.

"Ah! Professor, what is this?"

"Stay still, Mr. Harrigan. Just stay still!"

"Eww that's so gross! Get it away from me!

"Whoa, that's crazy!"

"Why was I stuck with such an incompetent partner, I mea- AHH!" The cloud began to grow in size as the affected student flailed around. When Snape said thick, he meant thick! Suddenly, Ginny had an almost brilliant idea. But it will never work. Someone's bound to see. But no one's looking. All I have to do is take a spoonful of potion and drop it on the seat of my chair. Snape's bound to excuse me. It's my only option. And with that, Ginny inconspicuously slipped the spoon under her as she stood up slightly. Poof. Just like that, a fog of green mist surrounded her posterior.

"Uh, Professor. I seem to have had an accident!" How true that is. "May I be excused?" And Snape let her leave the room. Ginny didn't mind the laughter. It would've been much worse had I walked out with my, well, soiled self in plain view. And as she strolled down the corridors towards the common room to get cleaned up, she thought to herself once more. This better not be a premonition of things to come or this year is going to be a nightmare! Now, Ginny, haven't you learned anything?