Mind Slavery

CHAPTER 6

I do not know how long she kept me on my knees. It seemed to last an eternity. It was my first time of groveling. I didn't know how much it would hurt after a while. The sharp pains in my stomach, the fire going up my legs, the dizziness. Oh yes, the dizziness. I felt it for at least an hour after she finally allowed me up. I gasped for breath as I shakily stood up.

"Lean against the wall and keep your legs still a moment." Ready to do anything she commanded after that, I did. In an instant the fire returned to my legs, fiercer and much more painful then before. I cried out.

"Keep still," she commanded again.

I obeyed as I cried. I cried and moaned while I begged her to make the pain stop. To let me sit down so I didn't feel such fire. After a while the pain started to fade and she allowed me to sit down.

"Yes," she said softly, her voice in a dreamy quality again, "Yes, I know that hurt. Maybe next time you will think twice before trying to rebel against me." I didn't say anything. "I won't put up with it. You think you regret what you did now? Not half as much as you will this time tomorrow."

I started to shake. I couldn't help it. I didn't want to go through this. I didn't want to be punished anymore. "Please don't do anymore," I begged. She was silent, and seemed to be waiting for something. "Master!" I cried, realizing what she was waiting for.

"Try to remember that a little quicker next time," she said, with an edge in her voice, "Oh, we will do more tomorrow. But it won't be of the same physical intensity. Oh, don't misunderstand me," she said, feeling my relief, "There will be some. I just plan to focus more on the . . . emotional aspect tomorrow. Mostly forcing you to admit a few more truths."

"What truths?" I asked with a dreadful sense of foreboding.

"You'll find out tomorrow or perhaps the next day, depending on how I'm feeling. It would be too much to ask of you to admit them tonight. After all, I want to break you, not destroy you. Destroyed, you're no use to me." I shivered. "Try to let it go tonight," she said softly, "I imagine you can get an hour or two of sleep before morning."

I stumbled up to my bed. I thought I would never sleep, but I did.

Morning came much to soon. "Wake up, Ginny!" Jane yelled. I groaned and rolled over. "You're going to be late if you don't hurry!" She ran out of the room.

I sighed and lifted myself out of bed with an effort. My muscles groaned with the usual "we need more sleep" stuff. But try as I might, I could find no trace of the fire and burning in my legs. Was it all a drea-

"When are you going to give up this dream stuff?" she mused, "No, for the umpteenth time, you weren't dreaming! Yes, it happened. No, you don't feel any reminder of the pain. One of the reasons I like that kind of groveling. As far as I'm concerned, you payed for your disobedience last night. It is over! Done with! Why would I want pain from one session bleeding into another?"

"I don't know," I muttered, not really listening, concentrating on remembering how to walk.

"I would expect you didn't know since you weren't listening," she said amused. "Oh Ginny," she said in a dangerously sweet voice, "I think you forgot something in that last statement."

"Master!" I said quickly, remembering.

"The next time you don't remember that, I'm going to make you repeat it over and over for a while."

"Yes, master," I said with desperation.

"Good."

I don't know how I got through that day. Thankfully, Jahorina didn't speak much, though I could feel her presence very heavily. As soon as dinner was over, I went upstairs to my bed and fell asleep. I thought I'd be too tired to dream but I was wrong.

It was the same nightmare I'd been having for years. Sometimes the details varied, but it was always the same story line.

"You have to believe me. It's true!" I cried out desperately, "I'm not crazy!"

"So she's finally snapped!"

"I figured it'd happen eventually."

"You have to believe me! Don't take me in there!" I screamed.

Mum and Dad, crying as the aides tried to drag me into St. Mungo's. "They're real!" I moaned, "They have to be, don't they?! I'm not crazy!"

"We'd better do a stunning spell!"

"NOOOOOO!!!!" I screamed.

I awoke with a start in my bed. Everyone else was at breakfast, no one had heard my scream. I panted for a moment, remembering where I was, or more important, where I was NOT.

"Good night sleep, honey?" Jahorina asked in a mocking tone, then changing it to a bit more serious, "Interesting dreams you've been having."

"I'm not going to try to defeat you, you're my master, and I really don't want to talk about it," I said weakly.

She sighed. "We need to eventually, but I can let it go for now."

"What do you care if I'm having nightmares?" I said with a slight sob. That dream always shook me up.

"Oh, honey," she said in sweet, pitying tones, "Do you think that the only reason I'm here is to torture you?" her voice changed to soft, and caressing, "I'm here to help you too."

"You'r . . . You're . . . trying to help me?" I asked completely nonplused, "What do I need help with?"

"You are very good at setting up denial trips, you know that? I've never met someone who could manipulate their feelings so much," she laughed, "Let's see, the nightmares, the strange random voices trying to possess you," she paused, correctly interpreting what I thought about that, "I'm not possessing you. Believe me there's a difference. I'm not taking control of your body on a regular basis to make you do my bidding, or whatever. I'm conquering you, I'm enslaving you, but I'm not possessing you."

I was quiet for a while thinking about that. I'd been possessed before, I knew how it felt, and this . . . this was different.

"Oh yes, I almost forgot. You wonder what else you need help with? How about the demons?"

I froze. She knew? She knew about that?

"Oh yes, Ginny," she said softly, "I know all about that."

I started to cry. I couldn't help it! The demons were the main reason I wondered if I was crazy. Normal people didn't see black shadowy things all around them, jumping into them, making them cut, burn, and bruise themselves.

"Shhh . . . " she said gently, "It's all right now."

Still I cried. "Are they real?" I asked her dreading the answer.

She was silent a moment. "Yes, Ginny," she said, sighing again, "They're real."