Mind Slavery

CHAPTER 1

I learned not to fight her. Everyone else said to keep fighting. That it would all go away. That they would find the right mix of potions to control the so-called "auditory hallucinations". Idiots. As if she was a hallucination. I know she's real, though no one else does. They all just don't get it. Just keep fighting you can win, they say. They don't realize that resisting her is pointless and very dangerous, not to mention extremely painful. Besides, there was no possible way for me to win.

I learned. I'm a slow learner, but I learned.

My fighting and resisting always came and went in spasms. I'd be completely meek and docile for a while then suddenly, out of the clear blue, I'd start fighting. I never knew why. She found it funny as hell when I resisted. She always knew she'd win. Soon, I knew it too. Toward the end the only reason I resisted was because I just wanted to feel the tiniest bit free for a moment. Just a moment. I learned the feeling was just an illusion that wasn't worth it. I always regretted fighting. She made sure I did.

My fighting is over now. My bursting feelings of freedom were illusions. The result of trying to keep the illusions up was too painful. When I tried to become free of her control, the torture she inflicted on me was so intense, so painful, so endless, I couldn't take it any more. I stopped fighting. I'm not a hero. I don't withstand torture well. A fact she very well knows. I surrender, and I endure terrible punishment for trying to rise against her. Every time she makes absolutely sure I will not try to resist her for a long, long time, if ever again.

I finally know better then to fight now.

She first came when I was fifteen. I was at Hogwarts in my fifth year. Back then I liked school. When I first heard her in my head, I didn't think much of it. I'd heard voices ever since Tom's attack on me. They never said much and always faded away. I figured she would do the same thing.

I was wrong.

Her name was Jahorina. A goddess of the mind, she searched for a mind that was open enough and strong enough that she could break in and take control without completely destroying the person.

In this case, me.

I'm no longer at Hogwarts. You just need a break, they all said. You just need a rest, they said. You can come back to Hogwarts when you feel better. It's better this way. In a year you'll be back with us, good as new.

Can you say, a denial trip?

It's been two years. I know now I'm never going back to Hogwarts. I'm now living at home with my mom and dad. My mother, who either cries or yells when she looks at me, and a father, who is trying to slowly drink me away every night. My brother Ron is still at Hogwarts, and he and my other brothers (all out of school) won't be back until next week. Thank God. I try as much as possible to avoid everyone and it's harder once they come home.

"It's her fault!" I thought with a sudden burst of anger and bitterness. "If that bitch . . . "

"I know you're not thinking about me." I heard her suddenly in my head.

Oh yeah, did I mention she can read every thought that's in my head too? Another reason I can't fight her. Any plans I could make to defeat her she would know about them the instant they came into my head.

A quiver of fear ran through me as I realized what I thought. "Master . . . " I began.

"I think there should be some punishment for that," she sid lazily.

"I didn't mean it..." I tried again.

"On your knees." The dreaded order came.

I dropped immediately. She laughed softly, amused by her power over me and my immediate submission. This may not seem like a terrible order or punishment to you, but believe me in the right circumstances, it definitely is.

Just think about it. Or try it. You get down on your hands and knees like you're bowing. Stay there for a while without moving. And by a while I mean like five or ten minutes. Your legs will start hurting terribly. You'll start to feel dizzy. Your arms will hurt.

"Relax," she ordered. The second part of the torture had come.

To relax, you force the tension out of your muscles and put all your weight down on your legs and stomach. This makes it almost impossible to breathe, not to mention the fresh bursts of pain that will start in your stomach where your knees are cutting in, and your legs will feel as if they are on fire. Stay there even longer until you are sure you can't take it any longer.

And remember, you can get up whenever you want. I can't. If I am sure I can't take anymore, I have to beg and plead with her to allow me to get up, and even then she may not let me. The begging and pleading are a torture in itself, because it forces me to admit how helpless I am and how she is in complete control of me.

"Please, master," I began before the pain took my breath away.

"Yes?" she asked, amused.

"I..." Just then another spasm of pain hit my stomach and my words morphed into a cry of pain.

She waited a moment, then laughed. "Fine. Tense up and see if you can get the rest of your pleas for mercy out."

I tensed and continued begging to be allowed up until she was satisfied.

CHAPTER 2

It all started on a cold autumn day. I was in Transfiguration trying desperately to transfigure the rabbit into a cushion. Professor McGonagall was in an absolutely foul mood, yelling at everyone who had not yet mastered the spell. I sweated furiously as she drew closer to my table.

It was then that I first heard her.

"You'll want to flick your wand more to the left."

I yelped, surprised but not frightened. It had been over a year since I had last heard voices, but I wasn't worried, they always faded out within a few months. It wasn't exactly fun, but I figured it could be much worse.

"What's your malfunction?" demanded Ella, an extremely popular girl from Slytherin. "You made me mess up!"

"Sorry, I'm fine," I said.

The voice laughed softly. "Fine? I suppose it depends on your definition of fine. Anyway, flick your wand more to the left."

I toyed with the idea of ignoring her and trying to figure it out on my own, or taking her suggestion. As Professor McGonagall moved closer to my table, I thought, what the hell, and tried it. It worked immediately.

"Very good, Ginny!" Professor McGonagall said. "Ten points to Gryffindor! Everyone else work on that spell tonight for a fresh try tomorrow. Dismissed."

I smiled and said silently to the voice, "Thanks."

"No," she said. "I don't like thank you's, or sorry's or forgive me's, that's not how I work. I don't give a damn if you say them to everyone else, but don't say them to me."

Not sure how to respond to that I kept quiet. I wondered how long it would take her to fade away like all the others.

"I'm not like the others, I'm not going away," she said.

What does she mean she's not? Wait. She could read my thoughts? This was definitely different. "You can read my thoughts?" I asked.

"Yes I can, so be careful of what you're thinking."

I was thinking it didn't matter what I thought, she was in my head, it's not like she could do anything about it.

"You don't think I can do anything about it?" she asked, sounding highly amused. "Well I can tell you've never had a mind goddess in your head before. Perhaps a little demonstration of my power is in order."

All of the sudden, every noise seemed magnified times a hundred. There was lots of sound in the Great Hall, and every sound was torture. I started panting and held onto the wall for support.

She laughed softly. "This is just the beginning."

Then, I started to hear screaming. Endless screaming inside my head. I felt I could hear all the pain ever felt in those screams. I heard it in my head, in my bones, in my very soul.

I cried out and collapsed to the floor. She laughed louder. I could hear her laugh clearly above all the roaring noise inside and outside of my head.

As suddenly as it started, it stopped.

"Ginny! Ginny! Are you okay? What's wrong?" A bunch of girls surrounded me.

"I..." I started.

"Unless you want another much longer and more intense round, you'll keep quiet," she hissed.

"Nothing . . . I just . . . " Just what? Collapsed on the floor screaming? "I was Umm . . . thought a curse was about to hit me, and I dodged it."

The others looked worried. "Are you sure you're okay? Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey."

"Definitely, I'll go right now," I lied and left the Great Hall to go to my room.

"You're going to have to get better at making excuses," I heard her say with a touch of amusement in her voice again. "That was just a small taste. I can do much more, and will if you don't watch yourself."

"How . . . " I began.

"Never mind how. You don't need to know. By the way, my name's Jahorina, your new master, and you, Ginny Weasley, are my new slave."

That's when I passed out.