Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me

My father always told me that being a Malfoy was an honor that had no rival. Every summer, when school came closer and closer he would look me right in the eye and tell me, "You're a Malfoy, and a Malfoy has no business being second best." I wish I could agree with him, but unfortunately, I have no choice but to be second best now. Once, if I told someone my name, he would kiss the ground I walked on and follow me as if I were his personal savior. It wasn't me they revered and respected--it was my stupid name. Malfoy. I'm just so sick and tired of being me, I wish I could just give it up. But, lucky me, there is one good thing about it. I can hide behind my name as if it were a shield, and trust me, tonight I need somewhere to hide. For the past five years, I've been nothing but second best. You've taken away the spotlight from me. Thank you, Harry Potter. Thank you for the break.

I can't light no more of your darkness,

All my pictures seem to fade to black and white

I'm growing tired, and time stands still before me

Frozen here on the ladder of my life.

I sit here at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, watching another boring Sorting ceremony. But, I can't help but look over at you, wondering. I know that Cedric Diggory's death is tough on you; I can see it in your eyes. You're tired, just like me. Tired of being held responsible? Tired of your fame? Are you regretting your name, like me? I take one look at your face as you watch the first years, and I can see your pain in those emerald eyes of yours. What I wouldn't give to wash it all away for you. But would you understand? Could you even begin to forgive four years of grievances?

Too late to save myself from falling

I took a chance and changed your way of life

But you misread my meaning when I met you

Closed the door and left me blinded by the light.

Father is so proud to think his only son will follow in his footsteps and become a Death Eater. I have no choice; I have to, no matter how much I protest. If I don't, God knows what will happen to me or to people I care about... or to you. I'm digging my own grave as each day passes, and all I can do is look at your beautiful face and try to forget my pain, if even for a little while. I remember that day in Madame Malkin's robe shop, the first day I met you. I didn't... couldn't... understand how I felt toward you, I was too young then, too naïve to think I could ever be attracted to another man. But I sit here, or in class, and I see you and it breaks my heart that we could never be together like I pray we could. I wish I had been more kindly toward you in the beginning. But it's too late, isn't it?

Don't let the sun go down on me!

Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see

I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free,

But losing everything is like the sun going down on me.

Sometimes I just want to grab you, right in front of everyone, and hold you close so you can't escape, and beg you please, please don't desert me like everyone else! Don't hate me, I can't bear it! I'm trying to show you, everyday, that I can change, I can be your friend and not your foe! Just look in my eyes and tell me that you can't see it, that you can't see how much your hatred is hurting me. I have so little; losing you completely would leave me empty, and with nothing to keep me going in the world.

I can't find, oh the right romantic line

But see me once, and see the way I feel

Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm

But these cuts I have, oh they need love to help them heal!

But it's all I can do. My courage fails me, even at my boldest. Wouldn't Father be proud to hear that, a Malfoy afraid! God, I wish I was born someone, anyone else. Malfoy isn't a name anymore; it's a curse, and I can't shake it. Harry, my treasure, maybe you and I can meet again under different circumstances, in a different life. I'm going to fight this; I won't become a Death Eater willingly. I'm going to protect you, and keep you safe for as long as I'm alive. For now, I'll be Draco Malfoy just for you, and hide behind my name to keep you safe and sound. You'll look at me and scowl, and think badly of me, but maybe someday you'll know that you mean everything to everyone in the world... and to me. I love you, Harry. Thank you for the break.

Don't let the sun go down on me!

Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see

I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free,

But losing everything... is like the sun going down on me.