The Only Protectus

A Dog Day

'Are you sure you won't go to Madam Pomfrey? This is really serious, Siana. I don't know if I can heal it.'

'But you can get rid of the infection right? I saw you do it to James that time.'

'Siana. That was years ago. I haven't had to use that in...Jesus Sirius come look at this. How did you do it again?'

Siana shifted awkwardly as she looked at his calloused hands against her swollen thigh. He stared at the wound, a mixture of yellows, plums and reds and shook his head very slowly, as though thinking to himself. After a moment he looked up, still waiting for an answer.

'No, Moo - er, Lupin. I can't. I...look does it matter?' Lupin sighed, he ran his hand open palmed over the jagged cut without touching it. Siana knew he could feel it too, the heat coming off it in waves of infection.

'Get me the whiskey, Pads.'

'What-?' Siana squinted at Sirius who walked away, preoccupied.

'In case the spell doesn't work. You're that against seeing anyone else about this?'

'Yes,' Siana grit out as Lupin poked at the slimy flesh. It was the one thing she was sure about. He didn't look up as he took the bottle from Sirius, who mumbled something before disappearing into the shadows. The whole place was dark, except for a small handful of torches. Neither Lupin nor Sirius had problems with shadows, being that accustomed to living in dark places from time to time. From the thick shadows came a clattering sound, a chair falling, and a muttered expletive from Sirius. A few seconds later she heard him stalking away, and a door slam. Off Siana's curious look, Lupin said, 'he's just worried about other things.'

Siana braced herself as the werewolf calmly upended some of the whiskey onto her leg. There was a flash of soothing cool, and then an aggravating agony, raw and angry, which blazed outwards.

'Ah...fuck!' Siana exclaimed as she rocked backwards, digging her bitten fingernails into her palms to stop herself from tearing at her leg. 'Oh god oh god oh Artemis...' She flinched away from the cold, smooth thing being pressed against her lips until Lupin firmly said, 'drink some.'

Siana opened her mouth for a second, experiencing a vague tinge of fear, this was very reminiscent of the times when her father and Frederick had force-fed her Insidious. She choked as the scouring liquid made its way down her throat, and continued to splutter which had the effect of momentarily distracting her from her pain.

Minutes later she was gasping, the pain in her leg though still bad, was not as overwhelming. Lupin was holding a cool hand against her forehead, his breathing was quick, as though he was worried.

'You still have a fever.'

'Of course. But Lupin, you're really great at casting spells. Top of your year, remember?'

'If this doesn't work you'll have to promise me that you'll see Madam Pomfrey.'

Siana opened her mouth to argue but saw a grim set to his mouth. She nodded dumbly. There was a strange warmth in her gut. Unexpected and inebriating. It settled there, pulsed slowly, Siana wondered if she was on her way to intoxication. Then she wondered if she should warn Lupin about how she could get when intoxicated. However the chance to give warning was lost as he pressed the bottle back into her hand.

'Have some more. You're shaking like a leaf.'

Oh? Oh. I suppose I am at that. That would explain why I'm clenching my teeth together. As Siana swallowed a few more gulps of the cauterising liquid, Sirius returned, storming back through the door, slamming it again angrily behind him. Siana jumped, Lupin too looked surprised.

'He doesn't have it.'

'What?' Lupin said suddenly. 'What do you mean?'

'He said he was distracted and didn't make it. Bloody sodding convenient if you ask me.'

'But the full moon is...it's rising tomorrow night. So that means that tonight...' Lupin pulled away from Siana, whose attention had been snagged.

'What's this?'

'The Wolfsbane potion...' Lupin said slowly, as though half in shock himself. Sirius was snarling , glaring at whatever caught his glinting eyes. 'It stops me from being violent. Severus is supposed to make it for me.' Lupin frowned. 'It's my fault too, Sirius. I was supposed to remind him.'

'Oh right,' Sirius growled, tossing shaggy hair away from his head defiantly. Lupin walked towards him, raising hands in entreaty, used to calming down him down. Siana well remembered the days when Sirius had ranted and raved on nothing in particular, he was quick to anger, and he could hold a grudge like it was nobody's business.

'It's not that bad, Pads. I'll just go to the Shack. It's still there, still enclosed...still haunted,' he added softly.

'Well it's still damned convenient isn't it? Now you not only have to put up with the pain of changing, but also the damned hunger that goes with it! I'll be having words to Dumbledore about this. You mark my words,' he grated and Siana interrupted, decidedly made more open from the amount of whiskey she had consumed.

'Leave him alone. He's had a lot of stuff on his mind lately.'

The look Sirius gave her was filled with utter, utter disgust.

'Look Sirius, I don't like him either but...'

'How can you defend him after everything he did to your family?'

Siana ignored Lupin's silent warning and pulled herself upright, wincing. 'What about what we did to his family?'

'Oh that's rich. He's a Death Eater, and even if he is reformed he's...'

'Hatred springs eternal,' muttered Lupin. Sirius had started pacing, not taking his eyes off Siana, who was tugging on her hair, trying to ignore the burning pain in her leg. She'd have to sit down again soon. Pain like this was raw, like a serrated knife's edge, not smooth and viscous. She wanted to drink more whiskey, but she also knew where too much whiskey could take her.

'I can't believe you're defending him, Siana. He made our lives hell in school. Absolute hell. He would have made yours the same too if you had gone to Hogwarts. And he's determined to insinuate his way into our lives now, and continue to make them hell. Who's side are you on?'

Lupin shrugged. 'It's not a matter of sides, Sirius. You know that. Please, take a moment to calm down. I know he's an aggravating, disagreeable prick...but Dumbledore trusts him and us.'

Siana was nodding at Lupin's rational words when the serrated knife teasing the inside of her leg twisted sharply. It moved upwards and Siana felt like someone was running a jagged glass edge along the underside of her spine. When the sensation exploded in the back of her neck she suddenly realised what was happening. How? How would it be happening now? Like this? The effects of the Insidious were wearing off, all her reconditioning was going to mean nothing, and she would now become too dangerous to even consider using her wand.

'Siana. Siana is it your leg?' Lupin was saying and she opened her mouth to answer, instead found herself gasping. Crying out like a dying seagull. Someone was dragging that same, bloodstained knife through the middle of her brain, through her eyes, across her throat.

'The...the potion is wearing...off.'

'But we haven't given you a potion. Siana? SIANA!? What's going on?'

* * * * *

'There we are.' Whispering was coming in around her, it focussed, and settled somewhere near her right ear, which was still ringing. 'Easy now. Easy.'

Her throat was raw, and her palms ached. She had scratched at them with her nails. She moved her neck and exhaled heavily, her thigh was still throbbing. She was getting all too sick and tired of pain. She felt she should perhaps go down and tell her mother that it was okay, that she was able to keep cleaning the Basilica Mansion. Perhaps she should visit Mercury and Nathan, or even Athena. Beautiful Athena.

And an image cut in. An owl, once glorious, now blood-stained, staring sightlessly away. Reality crumbled around her like the mansion had wanted to.

'Where am I?'

'Here. Hogwarts. You were gone for a full twenty minutes there. How are you feeling?'

'Hot.' Then cold. The goosebumps stayed as the heat assailed her a second time, sweat beaded underneath her nose, between her shoulder blades, trickled down her palms.

'Mm. You still have a temperature. Siana look, no arguments, I'm going to get Madam Pomfrey up-'

'NO!' The two Lupins became one as she focused. Sirius was sitting on a chair in the dark, his eyes hooded in shadow, his hair falling over his face. Lupin was clearly worried, his lips were pulled back, his forehead tensed, a spark of concern brightening his eyes.

'Siana, you're shaking. You have a high temperature. At least...hide your wound and let her treat the fever. Pretend you woke up this way. Just say you didn't know how you got it. Anything.'

'Have you cast the spell yet?'

'Yes,' he said, but his eyes didn't rise to meet hers.

'I don't believe you Moony.'

'Please go to Madam Pomfrey.'

Sirius shifted on his chair, jumped down. His shirt billowed up, and dust stirred. Siana coughed hoarsely, automatically swallowing phlegm back down again. 'She's a Basilica, Lupin. There's no talking sense to them. They're stubborn.' He was not trying to be deliberately hostile, merely pointing out fact. Lupin looked at him, he was clearly thinking hard, when he turned back he raised a hand to his jaw, rubbed it, then dropped it.

'Siana, please.'

'Dumbledore can't know anything. Not me being sick. Nothing. She'll tell. Lupin she can't know. No one can know. I don't even...'

'Okay,' Lupin said slowly, directing an expression at her which she was used to. Okay yes, I'm fucking insane, I admit it, just please find another way. If I go to the Hospital wing I'll end up staying overnight, Dumbledore will come, and I won't be able to lie to him about the cuts on me...about how I'm useless. How I can't help. I mean, I'm helping a little, but by Artemis, not half as much as I'd like to be. 'Okay...' Lupin rocked back on his haunches. 'You'll be able to hold a Protectus? Wouldn't you?'

'Of course I can, what kind of a que-'

'Come with Sirius and I into the Shack. I'll supervise you until I change, and you might just heal...'

'...faster as a fox anyway.'

'Yes. Siana. I don't like this.'

There was a loud clatter as Sirius pushed a chair over with the tip of his boot. He had been rocking it for some time, and now carelessly let it fall, watching it disinterestedly. The chair shifted back and forth, stirring up more dust, and they all watched it until it was finally still. When Sirius looked at her Siana felt the hairs go up on the back of her neck.

'What exactly have you been involved in, that you can't tell Dumbledore about?'

'It's a. A. An outcome of a mission. You understand right? Missions. Secretive. I can't tell you. All of that.' She waved a hand nervously. Sirius grunted and then without warning slammed his fist into the thin wood of a rotting cabinet. Crunch! He yanked it out and picked slivers and splinters off his hand. Lupin's jaw twitched as Sirius picked up the fallen chair and collapsed onto it. He absently stared at his hand for a moment, which was starting to ooze blood.

'I hate this.' His whisper broke against Siana's laboured breathing. 'He changes everything he touches.'

'Listen Sirius.' Siana drew herself up. 'Snape might-'

'Oh not your beloved Snape! Voldemort!' he shouted and Siana jumped.

'He's not...my beloved anything.'

'I just hope you're delirious from your cut,' Sirius snapped, like a dog delivering a curt bark. Siana, who had always been slightly intimidated of the man, even as she had a crush on him, felt herself shrinking more into herself, into her loneliness. James had been a balance, he had been a calming influence on Sirius. So, now that it came to it, had Peter.

'Pads...' Lupin said softly and Siana blinked, suddenly finding her own voice.

'You'd like that wouldn't you? For me to like everyone you like, to agree with everything you say.'

'I'm just angry. A bit irrational. Harry's not...good and, well. Probably best not to listen to me at the moment.'

Don't worry. I won't. Lupin stood and dusted himself off, then withdrew his wand, twirling it thoughtfully.

'We need to get me to the Shack, Sirius. Now. I'm mobilising you.' He pointed his wand at Siana, who rolled her eyes.

'Hey! I can walk!'

'I don't care. I mobilise you, or you go to Madam Pomfrey which...if you ask me...we should still do anyway.'

Siana snorted and then lay down in surrender, stretching her arms by her side. She hated the mobilicorpus spell.

'Can't I just turn into a Protectus?'

'What? And wander through Hogwarts scaring the students? As much as I would love to see that...sorry Siana, I love you. But no.'

* * * * *

Lupin had trailed off, muttering to himself about something, and Sirius had watched him go upstairs. Siana could tell he wanted to follow. Lupin after all was slowly starting to change, and it was hard on all of them when the normally quiet and composed man became flustered within his own skin. Sirius was breathing deeply, as though trying to calm himself, and when he turned to Siana, his eyes were slightly wild.

'I hate all of this.'

'Well, you're just exhibiting hatred all over the place aren't you?' Siana sniped bitterly and Sirius glared at her for a moment, then smiled, a genuinely Sirius smile. Charismatic and roguish. After a moment his lips relaxed and he looked away, Siana found herself returning the smile to the back of his head. I wish this could all be so different. Less awkward.

'It must be hard, watching Lupin go through this...' she said helplessly and Sirius nodded.

'Harder, knowing that he wouldn't have to if it wasn't for...'

'Snape...he's not all evil, Sirius. I swear. Lupin was probably right, he probably didn't mean to. God!' Siana suddenly stopped talking and clapped a hand over her mouth. 'What am I saying?' Her words came out muffled, Sirius started chuckling. 'You're right! This is insane. Okay. Snape probably did it all deliberately, and he is evil, and he's just a bastard. In general. Bastard.'

'Yes. He is. Do you believe yourself though? You HAVE fallen for him.'

'What?' Siana squeaked. 'I'm just stupidly defending people that's all. He saved me a couple of times. It doesn't mean anything.'

'No. It doesn't. But look at you. You ever think that your tendency to gravitate towards horrible people, like your uncle and your father, might have screwed up your taste in men?'

'There's no tasting, men.' Siana stopped. 'Maybe I should have gone to Madam Pomfrey, I'm going to regret this. What was in that whiskey? Anyway. What I'm trying to say is, I didn't get a choice, gravitating towards my family. You know, they being my family and all. And Snape? Well. He's not all bad. You know.'

'I'm sure. You realise that Peter Pettigrew wasn't all bad either. Look what happened to him,' Sirius whispered, hatred making his voice black.

'Peter was lost. And no. No, don't jump down my throat Sirius, I'm not saying he deserves redemption because of that. I'm just saying that people aren't born evil.'

'Are you suggesting that we made him evil?'

And suddenly he was standing again, ready to verbally attack, and Siana had painfully propelled herself to her feet, ready to start shouting. It was always very easy to argue with Sirius. As she opened her mouth, a shriek keened over head, followed by a bang which made the walls tremble. Sirius' eyes went wide.

'He's thrown himself against the wall. Come on Siana, change. We're going up there. We can at least make this a little better. You remember the drill right? Under no circumstances change back from a fox to a human...you remember right?'

'Oh please,' Siana allowed herself to snarl scathingly. Sirius however had already changed, and was leaping away up the stairs, taking them four at a time. Siana herself transfigured easily and followed. Her tufted black mane pulled her skin as she ran up the stairs, spiked daftly over her head. As she ran into the darkened room she picked up the scent of Lupin quickly and easily. Sirius the dog was already close by his side.

Lupin was clearly in pain, but he was also managing to control most of his outbursts being so used to changing now. He huddled in the corner, muscular forearms wrapped around his torso, claws scoring his body. Above him some of the wood of the wall was splintered and loose...he had thrown himself hard. His eyes were furtive and over bright, he was growling in the back of his throat.

Sirius calmed him, simply by being there. It was clear that there was a familiarity between the two. Siana edged forward uncertainly, her enhanced sight and scent picking up signs of fear, pain...and excitement. She was the same size as Sirius, but finer boned, fur less well kept. Together they were both a convenient size to keep the wild Lupin in check.

Lupin jerked a little when he saw Siana, and then calmed almost immediately, stretching out slowly and then bunching his body together quickly, dangerously. The speed in these newly transformed muscles was sharp, elastic, like a rubber band being snapped backwards.

For a moment none of them moved, looking around them, assessing each other. Three canines, each with exacerbated sight and scent, each sensing the other's exhilaration, enthusiasm. This was like old times. Siana felt like sprinting through the Forest and it was clear that Sirius and Lupin would not stand to be cooped up either.

Sirius bounced a little, shook his head towards the door and a low rumbling growl started in the back of the werewolf's throat, preceding what was to come. Sirius took the lead and all three bolted out of the Shack, skidding on floorboards, hiding in the shadows which was difficult for a flame coloured Siana. However instead of heading towards the Forest, they loped easily instead towards the low mountains. The moon lazily caused the sharp outreaches of rock to cast long shadows over the quiet Hogsmeade, there was a thrilling stillness in the cold air, a silent electricity.

Among the rocks Lupin finally turned, as though to go back for the humans, and Sirius engaged him in a scuffle which they clearly enjoyed. Their incisors flashed white, low growls and short barks issued from their throats. Siana sat on her haunches and licked at her thigh wound, perversely savouring the meaty taste, ignoring all sense of complex worry. She was only entertaining the primitive fear of being caught in a life threatening situation which she was fairly sure would not happen.

The sounds of the dog and werewolf playing were rife, clicking snaps popping through the air as jaws closed, paws connected on flesh. Loose rocks were falling down the slope, bouncing off other, larger boulders. Siana stopped cleaning her wound to watch the rocks and the lights of Hogsmeade, alert and focused.

With a flash the small fat rabbit shot laterally across the slope, white tail gleaming, appealing. Siana took chase without a second thought, her senses flaring, danger a taste on the tip of her tongue. She as silent as she galloped after the frightened creature, the only sound were her paws slapping against the ground. Soon there were more footfalls behind her, werewolf and dog were racing her for the rabbit. The could smell its fear from a fair distance as it shot, zigzagged and thrust itself among the uneven shale, moving higher and higher up the mountain, away from Hogsmeade. Siana's thigh was burning but she didn't care, survival instinct was taking over as she convinced herself that she needed this rabbit.

'Siana!' Sirius suddenly shouted as the rabbit pulled itself into a crevasse. She whirled and Lupin turned, snarling. Sirius was standing a distance away, looking ecstatic and breathless. 'The one who catches the first rabbit is getting a bottle of Odgen's from the others!' He changed back before a bloodthirsty Lupin could reach him in his human form. Siana yipped excitedly, Lupin howled, and Sirius barked in return. Then they tore off, racing each other across the countryside, the poor rabbits soon realising that it was to be a quiet night in.

* * * * *

Hours upon hours later a pinkish glow signalled sunrise and all canines lay on their backs in the Shack once more, panting, doggish grins on their faces. Siana's thigh stung but she ignored it, enjoying the flushed feeling of over exertion, exercise in the cold night air.

Lupin changed back as the first rays of sunlight spilt in through a small gap in the boarded up window. Sirius and Siana changed automatically and they all grinned at each other, still out of breath, chests heaving.

Siana realised something was very, very wrong.

'Hey!' Sirius was saying. 'Did any of us actually catch any rabbits?'

'Does it matter?' Lupin said, rubbing his chest as though to ease the ache, or the drumming thuds of his heart. He grinned up at the ceiling and then looked over at Sirius. 'We did alright didn't we?' Sirius didn't reply, his dark eyes were trained on Siana, who was slowly pulling up her skirt, her face deathly pale.

The trail of blood was visible all the way down to her ankle.

There was a sudden flurry of movement, a cloud of dust, as Lupin skidded to her side, impossibly breathing faster than he was before.

'Your leg,' he said, taking the cloth from her trembling her hands and hiking it up, not caring how much leg he showed. He turned pale as he saw the damage that had been done. 'Siana?' He looked at her.

'I mustn't have realised...the whiskey...the pain wasn't bad.' She swallowed and then hiccuped on a note of worried laughter. 'No wonder the Protectus became extinct. High pain threshold.' Her voice was reedy, thin. Terrified. The wound was ripped open, pouring blood and discharge profusely, and the pain was escalating. 'Don't say Madam Pomfrey,' Siana said and Sirius barked some laughter.

'Why don't we just knock you out? Then you won't hear us say it, we can get you healed.'

'Does it hurt?' Lupin asked gently and Siana nodded, staring at her leg as though it belonged to another creature, a hated creature. 'I can't heal this. You know that I can't. I need to get you to...'

'...Just.' Siana looked over at Sirius, who was barely hiding a look of contempt. She winced. 'Could you tell her. By Artemis. Could you tell her that it happened tonight? Please?'

'What about the fever?'

Sirius broke in. 'You could tell her that she's hot after a certain Potions Master.'

'Sirius!' Lupin said and Siana contented herself with a glare. 'That's not funny.'

'Actually. It kinda is,' Siana said weakly and chuckled to herself. 'It's not true though,' she added sharply and then moaned as a wave of nausea washed over her, gently lapping at her stomach, a curl of sickness.

'Okay. Your fever. You caught a chill, and thought it would go away. I'm taking you in. Utmost secrecy I swear, Siana,' Lupin said, holding up his hand to stave off any of her objections. There was a sound of dripping as her blood started to wet the floorboards, congealing almost immediately with the thick carpet of dust.

'I feel awful,' she groaned. She pushed her hair back out of her face and froze from the look on Lupin's face. 'What?'

'Your head, how did it get cut?'

Siana dropped her hands. 'Mission. Secret. Can't...'

'Say,' Sirius finished angrily. 'I have to go. Check on Harry.' He stood and marched out of the door, Siana watched him go weakly, wondering when she would pass out. A few seconds later, her question was answered.

* * * * *

Mum? Where are you going? Can I come? Oh. Why not? Oh. That's a stupid reason. Why would I ever go to Hogwarts anyway? Dad says it's a bastard place, because that idiot Dumbledore works there and...and what? I'm already there? Mum? I'm confused, what's going on? Oh. By Artemis are you sure? Wow. I'm going to have to tell Athena all about this. What? Oh no. No. No. NO. Mum no. Please no. It's not real. It's not.

Siana's breath shuddered out of her throat and she shivered, twisting in her dreams, as her face became a rictus of disbelief.

He what? He's a Death Eater? The bastard, I bet he's on Snape's side. Bastards. All of them are...no. No Mum, why would Snape be at Hogwarts? What?

A cloth passed over her forehead, pressing, soothing. Voices pressed like terry towelling, soft but abrasive, and she shifted away, her hands flung out. There was a quiet murmur and the voices blended into each other, away. In the end there was only one low baritone left.

'You're in your quarters. It's Lupin...Moony. How are you feeling?'

'Mmf. What'd Pomfrey say?'

'Called me irresponsible for getting you half savaged in the untrustworthy wilderness, for not noticing your fever. She didn't ask any questions. She was too busy lecturing me.'

'You didn't have to take the fall for me like that.'

Lupin laughed and smoothed her greasy hair away from her forehead. 'You practically begged me to. What's the last thing you remember?'

'My...whiskey. The whiskey. And passing out. How's Sirius?'

'We talked a bit.' There was a long silence. Siana limply rubbed at her eyes, shifted her hips. Her thigh was bandaged, it ached, but no longer scraped, grated or emitted currents of excruciating pain.

'He doesn't trust you Siana.'

'I gathered.' She looked at him, noticed the warmth of her quarters, a healthy glow from a now stoked up fireplace. It was strange seeing fire flickering, it made the dank, underground dungeon seem almost homely. She breathed in the scent of moist wood-smoke and exhaled heavily.

'Siana. You understand why, right?'

'I don't care. You'd think years of friendship...'

'Sirius doesn't trust like he used to, after Peter. He's not the same. Don't hate him. He doesn't not like you, he just doesn't know what's going on.'

'Neither do you.' Siana waved her hand a little and Lupin watched as the hand fell boneless back to the bed. He removed the cool cloth on her forehead and rinsed it in a pale stone bowl of water.

'Dumbledore trusts you.'

'That's not the be all and end all.'

'It's close.'

'He's just a man,' Siana said, pushing herself upright, wondering why she was playing devil's advocate. Lupin laced his hands together and just looked at her, his prematurely aged face calm and almost serene in the warm light.

'I trust you. You never once cared that I was a werewolf. Never once held it against me.'

'No. Have you seen my freak-show of a family? What I had to compare you to? You were a puppy. All the worse because of fucking discrimination. So. So. Anyway. I'm okay?'

'Do you remember the time...'

'No memories,' Siana interrupted softly, her chest tightening. The image of a bloodstained Athena was still to close to her mind, the whole past few months horribly vivid. She didn't know if she'd ever drink alcohol again.

'Not even happy ones?'

'Especially not the happy ones.'

'What about...' His smile faded, his sentence trailed off into empty vapour. His hands dropped as he turned, resting by his side, and then he stood as the knock sounded. Slowly he walked over to the door, opened it an inch. There was a pause, silence except for the cheery crackling of the flames. Siana caught a whiff of Sandalwood and she suddenly felt wide awake, all traces of her hangover falling away.

'Severus are you al-'

'Where's Siana?'

'She's not well.'

'Why isn't she in the hospital wing?' His voice was hoarse, tired. There wasn't the usual joy of destroying her mentally that he usually took. Siana's interest was piqued. Lupin was shaking his head.

'What do you want Severus?'

'I need Siana's wand.'

'What?' Siana called from the bed. 'What for?'

'She sounds healthy,' Severus muttered from behind the wood and then coughed politely. 'I need to crosscheck it with something.' Lupin now looked to her, for approval, something else in his eye. Siana understood what Severus wanted...her wands connection with the Insidious, among other things. Besides, it wasn't like she could use it anyway, the Insidious had officially worn out. She was effectively disarmed whether or not she had it in her possession. Too much of a risk.

'Can I bring it to you later?'

'I'd rather have it now.'

'Um...Lupin? It's in my robes. They're not still with Madam Pomfrey are they?'

'No. They're...' Lupin pointed and turned, walking towards her robes which were draped over the Transfiguration books on her table. The door swung open revealing Severus standing uncomfortably, looking more drawn than usual. They both looked at each other, assessing and tense. Lupin walked back with the wand.

'You mustn't be all bad, Severus. Considering the way she stuck up for you last night.'

'Pardon me?' Siana looked away from the questions she saw in his dark, impossible eyes. Lupin cleared his throat.

'I do need that Wolfsbane potion too, Severus.'

'I'll brew it directly.' Lupin closed the door and Siana listened as his footsteps receded.

'I suppose I said the wrong thing. Were you not supposed to be sticking up for Severus then?' Lupin said tiredly as he walked back to the rickety chair. Siana shrugged.

'We do hate each other.'

'Of course.' Lupin nodded. 'I don't like him much myself. He wasn't all bad at Hogwarts though, I remember very very early Severus, before he was even placed in Slytherin.' Lupin made a laughing noise though his mouth was closed. There was a crooked upturn to his lips, a bitter smile.

'What was he like?'

'I thought you said no memories,' he jested.

'Tell me?' Siana said softly. 'I feel sick. And...I want to know.'

'Well. Alright. I met him on the train. The Hogwarts Express. I was shy then, very introverted. Moreso than I was when you met me, you can't imagine how much I hated speaking to people, looking at them.' A faraway look caught in his eyes. 'Severus wasn't shy like that, but he was reticent. We kept a carriage to each other, he had his nose in a book, not potions like you'd think. Not then. He liked potions then, but he had other interests too.'

'What was the book?'

'I think it was magic relating directly to the body. Like massage with a wand almost. It's hard to explain. We were never taught it, the library doesn't have that much on it either. I was interested then, and he caught me staring at the title. So he handed it over. Just passed it. Said nothing. And I flicked through it, and...between the cover and the first page was a script that indicated it was from his sister. Lydia.'

'Lydia,' Siana repeated blankly. The sister I killed, the sister I never met, who I don't remember meeting, who I killed. She must have been nice, nice enough to give him a book, nice enough to twist the man up so completely when I slaughtered her...

'He said then that it was hard for him to be away from his family. That he had wanted home tutoring. Anyway. He was polite, dark, reserved, but not deserving of hatred. He was very sad. I remember that. I wanted to be friends with him, both of us hoped we'd get into Ravenclaw. I'd never expected to be considered Gryffindor material and I think he was afraid of his own heritage which was a strange mix of Ravenclaw and Slytherin. We did tease him, mercilessly. But you remember Siana, he was horrible to us as well. I don't even remember how it started now. He and James never got along from the outset. At all. And Sirius?' Lupin bit his lip.

'What?'

'They'd make fun of each other, like you wouldn't believe. Sirius would go out on limbs, humiliate him in front of all the other students. During one of the final potions exams he set Severus up, his cauldron exploded and he failed. He was allowed a retrial only because he'd performed so brilliantly throughout the year. Everyone knew it was Sirius, who became a sort of champion after that. Then there was the whole Whomping Willow debacle. And Severus? He made little snide comments, sowing the seeds of doubt in all of us. I think he still enjoys breaking someone's self esteem. There's not much of that shy, polite boy left in him now.'

Siana folded her arms, stared at some of the blocks in the wall in front of her. How much did me killing his sister have to do with that? Nothing redeemed him, what he'd done. Killed the unborn child of her mother, worked at destroying her family...threatened her. Yet this was also a man who had not wanted to kill an innocent woman at the meeting with Frederick, and then had put her out of her misery quickly, a man who had held her gently when she had been a cat, and let her go without a scratch. A man who had offered to help her, even though he hadn't wanted to. With a kiss as light as a feather one moment, and delicately possessive the next. Who was dangerously insecure, yet terribly smug.

'You don't know do you?' Lupin murmured.

'What's that?'

'You don't know what to think of him either. Neither do I. Dumbledore trusts him...and I. Well. He's had plenty of opportunities to attack Headmaster, teachers...the students don't count. We all know what he'd like to do to them.' Lupin chuckled to himself. 'Siana.' He looked up. 'I'm going to have to go and check on Sirius. He hasn't been himself lately. Harry's been getting him down.'

'Under pressure?'

'They both are. We've all got our own...missions. Well. Will you be alright?'

'I feel so much better,' Siana said gratefully. 'And thank you. For taking the fall for me. I owe you one.'

'No. Not really.' Lupin inclined his head and then left silently, leaving the fire crackling. Siana stared at it, then at the closed door. Severus had looked so awful and she...she knew it couldn't be easy for him. All the pressure. He was hateful, but he was also...what? Hateful. You hate him Siana. Remember?

* * * * *

'Professor Snape?'

He turned. His eyes took in her form, the way she was favouring her leg, her creased robes and rumpled hair. He turned back and focused on stirring the contents of his cauldron.

'I haven't fixed the Insidious yet, if that's what you're asking.'

'No. I...'

'What? Come to gloat about something? Make an inane remark which I'm sure would originally be intended to insult, but would be so childish that it would blow up in your rather haggard and unattractive face.'

'No,' Siana said, too tired to be angry, it was day and all she wanted to do was sleep. It had been a wild, painful, eventful night.

'Then could you please evict yourself from my presence?'

'I wanted to...you said the trade, I could help you with your antidote. Can I help you?'

'I really doubt it,' he said, looking at her, one eyebrow raised. 'Your definition of helping someone is quite different to the standard dictionary definition.'

'Could I just, watch it? You know, watch over it? Or something? Please.'

Severus straightened, waved his wand over the cauldron causing the contents to freeze. His peered down his hooked nose at her, looking like a sleepy falcon, judging whether or not the paltry prey in front of it was worth a strike. Siana knew even a tired strike would knock her down right now. She was feeling emotionally wrung. Drained.

'No,' he said then. 'Not right now. I haven't started the antidote yet, I have to get the Wolfsbane potion brewed otherwise I will be answering to Dumbledore. I have enough to worry about without his concerns.'

'Are you alright? You don't look very well.'

'I'm ill. If you must know. And I don't expect it to get better soon.'

'The Insidious ran out today. On me.' Siana shifted uncomfortably. Hephaestus, could this get anymore weird? It's so strange being civil...and...not...feeling like killing him. I don't know if I want to get used to this. I don't know if he wants to get used to this either, judging by his expression.

'Then it's a good thing I took your wand when I did. Is it...were there any side effects? Any noticeable magical discharge?' Severus said clinically, and Siana shook her head 'no'. It was awkward, but not awful. The air was not so palpably filled with hatred, and Siana thought she could pick up the scent of vomit, intertwined with the Sandalwood.

'Maybe. Maybe...You need rest?'

'Not now.' His eyes narrowed. 'If you please, Miss Basilica, I have work to do. I'll contact you directly when I have the Insidious potion brewed to my liking. It shouldn't be too much longer.'

'No. Maybe you should take something, for your sickness.' Siana gestured ineffectually as she backed out towards the door. Severus' face remained impassive.

'I can't. It's an indirect effect of the sickness, which your precious Uncle had a lot to do with. Go to bed Siana, you look worse...worse than usual,' he added and Siana turned, her hand on the doorknob.

'Doesn't have your usual sting Severus.' She waited to see if he had a better insult, a better reply, but he just stared at her blankly, as though mildly surprised the conversation had even happened in the first place. She nodded to him, inclined her head politely then she stumbled back to her bedroom. The fire was still roaring, her room was warm, and her rumpled bed with clean sheets - Lupin must have changed them - looked inviting. Besides, her thigh was starting to ache, and she wanted to get her weight off it. She crawled into bed and threw the covers over her, before reaching out for the waterlogged cloth and draping it sodden over her head. The cold droplets of water trickling down her neck were refreshing and ticklish. After a few moments she took the flannel off her head and placed it back in the bowl, she nuzzled her wet head into the pillows and drifted off to sleep, clutching the blankets to her like a lost child.