The Fire Wand

The Fire Wand

Chapter 15; A Temporary Return

'What did I give?
I hope it was an answer
So you might live.
I hope I helped you live.
I hope I helped you live....'
Creed - Wrong Way

I would be your beacon...I don't know how beacon managed to get mixed up with burden but there it is. I don't know what's inside of me, or around me anymore, the world isn't my tower, and I am no longer a fairy tale waiting for her Prince Charming. Instead...you've gone to the High King of Sin and I...I am chaperoned by the Lord of Light. You need to know that if you were Osiris and I were Isis, I'd find you and restore you. Who am I kidding? I'm a Basilica, and you're a Snape, and the world was not made for my useless talents and penchant for recreating extinct animals within myself.

Why that on its own would tell you more than I ever could hope to.

I told you I trusted you, but now, and boy is this going to sound stupid...it even sounds stupid in my head, but I have to acknowledge it - even to myself...I have feelings for you. That's even going to far. I have feelings. Who knew? And it's only been six hours, and we've heard no news from you...I hardly know my way around Hogwarts and I don't want to go back to the library...so I think I'm just going to take a left turn here and wish that I would bump into you in the corridor somewhere.

I've been asked not to go...but what else is there to do? It is obvious, blatant, I'm like a weapon that doesn't even know she's going off until it's almost too late. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm...hello, what's this?

Siana stopped walking at the same time that her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of voices coming from nearby. They were both lowered, and both were familiar. Her eyes narrowed and she crept closer, a new pair of dry black robes rustling around her body. Her cleaned wand lay in her pocket, an abhorred thing that still comforted (and simultaneously repulsed) her.

She bit her lip nervously and was just about to poke her head around the corner to see who it was when she heard something that unmistakeably identified the two whisperers in the corner.

'Sirius what if someone sees you like this?'

Sirius? There's only one Sirius that I know...and he's a wait a minute. That's Harry! What if he's in danger! What if he's...

Siana burst out from her hiding spot and jumped in front of both Sirius and Harry. Her hand went to her wand, but she did not bring it out.

'I think you should explain yourself.' Siana said, slightly scared of the very handsome, rakish fellow who she had once had a crush on...a long time ago. Sirius looked at her, his eyes narrowing and then suddenly he smiled, a charismatic smile. Funny, Frederick has that kind of smile and I think he's evil. When you smile like that, I think it's nice. I'm not getting an evil...

'It's not what you think. Miss Basilica, Sirius was...he's my Godfather, he's innocent.' Harry said quickly and Siana looked at Harry in surprise. Harry was looking a little more stressed than usual, and she looked back at Sirius in suspicion. However Sirius black was standing casually, a look of recognition on his face, a charming twinkle coming back to his eyes. She looked back to Harry and searched his face, there was no trace of fear there...just worry.

'Godfather eh? You're innocent? Really?' She said, feigning a sceptic tone of voice. There was just something simple about this situation. Harry didn't look threatened, and Sirius didn't look anything other than pleased to see her.

'Dumbledore knows. You can ask him yourself if you like.' Sirius said, smiling broadly. 'I'm not normally this forward...I'm supposed to be a secret.'

'This coming from the lad who couldn't keep secrets let alone be one? Very interesting, and oddly amusing. What are you doing out here, in the shape of a human, where anyone can see you?' Siana said, her doubt disappearing. He was as candid as he used to be, and despite some haunting lines that now creased his face, he seemed to be as memorable as ever.

'That's what he was trying to tell me. Well where would you like to go? I can't talk to either of you as a dog. As charming as Padfoot is, I don't get anything done...' He sighed melodramatically and Harry was looking at him strangely. Siana strongly suspected she knew what it was. I'll bet you've never seen playful Black before. Prankster Black. Melodramatic Monster Black...and a Black who's about to get caught if I don't get them somewhere safer.

'Come on. We'll find an empty room. Harry you probably know this school a lot better than I do. Come on, hide us.'

'Excuse me? Harry knows this school? What about me?' Sirius looked mildly offended as he moved forward quietly and then crept down the passage, his eyes darting around alertly. Siana took the opportunity to peruse the body which had once been the object of many dreams during her hormonal awakenings. It was strange, he was still good looking, evidently charismatic...but now she wasn't getting any gut tingles. So, at least I know you're not going to ruin my heart a second time. That's a relief.

Eventually they found themselves in a deserted classroom, so deserted that the chairs and tables had cobwebs on them. The fireplace looked like it hadn't ever been used.

'Where are we?' Siana said curiously and Sirius looked around.

'I'm not actually sure. We used to come here a lot though for meetings.' His expression became soft when he saw Harry sit down on a table near the windows. 'And James used to sit in that exact seat.' He added and Siana fought to hide a soft smile as Harry's eyes widened.

'Okay I know where we are...do I know how to find my way back?' She continued and Sirius shrugged.

'Use your sense of direction. Tell me how have you been? It's been several lifetimes since we last met. I heard about your family Siana I-' He trailed off, unsure of what to say. Siana shook her head slowly and frowned. It doesn't matter Sirius, I'm a murderer. I'm a murderer. You're innocent, and I'm the one who actually did kill someone.

'I'm here aren't I?'

'Yes. But if that's your answer...it can't be good.' He said and then moved towards her, going to embrace her. However when Siana unconsciously shrank back his eyes narrowed. His face seemed to darken, frighteningly. For a moment Siana was scared, wondering what he was thinking, planning, and then suddenly she realised.

'No! No it's not you! I'm not scared of you. ' Siana said anxiously and Sirius looked at her, issuing a silent challenge. Siana swallowed. 'Sirius I believe Harry, I believe you're innocent. I didn't want to believe what father told me about you anyway, and I'm glad I don't have to. What are you doing here anyway?'

'Well. We weren't told when we were called, you know Moony is here too?'

'No.' Siana said incredulously, her heart seeming to grow light with nostalgic remembrance. Suddenly a pain seemed to twist through her and she swallowed quickly.

How can I stand here and chat like old friends when...when everything is just so wrong? How can I stand here, so light hearted, when I'm a murderer? When I'm a horrible person? How can I stand here when Severus Snape could be under the influence of the Cruciatus curse, screaming in agony? Her stomach curdled at the very thought. She had to drag her mind away from a visual when she noticed that Sirius was still talking.

'Yes he's here...old crowd. Don't think you know about us. Apparently there's a problem with Voldemort at the moment. We don't know yet, the meeting is not until this evening, and I thought I'd meet up with Harry before we started talking. What are you doing here anyway?'

He doesn't know. He doesn't know about Voldemort looking for me, or about Snape. I can't tell him! He'd ask too many questions, Sirius always wanted to know stories back to back. Although maybe that's changed about him too.

'Oh you know, Madam Pince is on long service leave.' Siana said, forcing brightness and then shrugged. 'Dumbledore offered me the position while we tried to rebuild the Archives.'

'That's nice of him. He's always been an understanding man. Come on.' He said and he reached out and slapped her on the arm lightly. Siana blanched and her hand rose up to it. He had inadvertently hit the one part of her arm that had a one inch furrow inside of it. As she turned away, gasping from pain, Sirius was turning her back.

'What's happened to your arm?'

'It's...I fell on my wand.' She said and shook her head at Sirius' curious expression. Now he knows something is going on. I don't care. I'm not going to tell him, it's not my place. Especially if I'm not going to stay. Should I stay? I don't know. Why should I stay? I only hurt people.

'I don't believe you.'

'Oh that part of it's true.' Siana said quietly and winced as Sirius seemed to dig into her with a questioning gaze.

'That part?'

'Harry. I heard you spoke to Dumbledore?' Siana said quickly, trying to change the subject. She saw however, that Harry wasn't convinced. He blinked and then nodded.

'I went to see you in the library a few days ago and you weren't there Professor. Where have you been?' He said pointedly and Siana squeezed her eyes shut. An interrogation by a Potter and a Black no less. Soon she'd be spilling out the whole sordid story, but she knew...as soon as she mentioned the name Snape...as soon as she mentioned the world Voldemort...she'd be revealing too much. She didn't know how much of the situation was being secret, and she didn't want to say anything now anyway. The grief was still too close.

'I've been on an errand for Dumbledore. And I'm not saying anymore Sirius.' Siana said abruptly and Sirius sighed.

'Yeah. It's not worth it trying to get information out of you. Short of transfiguration knowledge. I hear you're a double?'

'Hopefully, fingers crossed, soon to be triple.' She said softly and Sirius nodded, she could see the admiration in his face. Suddenly his admiration turned into an amused smile.

'You still talentless at everything else?' He said, abandoning asking any more questions about her arm and Siana snorted.

'Talentless?'

'This girl.' Sirius said, pointing his finger at Siana whilst turning to face Harry. 'This girl could blow up anything. I'm really glad she didn't come to Hogwarts because I probably would have lost limbs. She once knocked a scar into your Dad, accidentally, when she was trying to cast a simple growth spell on one of the saplings in the forest. The only time I've seen her brew a potion...'

'Sirius...' Siana warned, feeling a blush rising up her chest. Please don't tell him this story.

'Was when she was trying to break a fever in Remus, he was having a really hard time that night. Because he'd been sick, and a sick werewolf...well that's just a joke. So anyway we took him from the Shrieking Shack and bought him to her thinking 'yeah, she'll look after him.' The potion she made somehow went from a healing concoction to a love spell. Of course...she misplaced one of the ingredients and Remus ended up falling in love with a sexy, hot, irresistible oak tree...' Sirius was now chortling. 'It was so funny...he was sick and sneezing and snuggling up to it. We couldn't see straight for laughing. And ever since then he's never been able to go into that forest without paying homage to it.'

'I could tell Harry a few stories too you know.' She said threateningly and opened her mouth to speak. However the voice never came, a pressure in the base of her spine made her silently choke off to a halt. She knew that pressure, she'd know it anywhere.

'What is it?' Sirius said suddenly and Siana's eyes widened. Not here. Not now. I've got to go. I've got to.

'I've just remembered something to tell Dumbledore.' Siana lied, straight faced. She smiled weakly and shrugged. 'I'll see you two scamps later. Sorry for cutting it short.' She said quickly and raced out of the door before they could say anything else.

Locarius.

The pressure in her spine was not painful, it wasn't debilitating, merely uncomfortable. It meant that her Uncle Basilica was not yet close enough to exert full pressure upon her.

She raced down the corridor, half running, half walking, her eyes stinging, a melancholy settling over her. He's going to keep on doing this. He won't stop. He loves that he can do it, he loves that he still has control over me. I hate this. I hate my life at the moment. I hate everything.

Her breath was catching in her throat. She largely suspected that the effects of the potion had been wearing off for the past hour. She was teary, miserable, prone to rambling thought that occasionally didn't even make sense to her. Yet in some ways she wondered if it was normal to be this emotional...to feel this traumatised...violated.

She felt like a delayed victim. All these years and she had never realised exactly how much her father had used her, and how much delight he took in it.

She frowned...tried to banish the thoughts from her head.

It had been weird seeing Professor McGonagall looking so worried earlier, at the gates of Hogwarts. She had frantically asked about the situation and Siana, blankly, had forgotten everything that had been said. By the time they had reached Hogwarts her arm seemed to be flaming with pain, and her mind so disoriented that when Madam Pomfrey saw her in the Hospital Wing and said; 'now who's been at you?' Siana only had the presence of mind to blink.

Even if she didn't know her way around Hogwarts, her innate sense of direction did. Whether it was being in contact with animals all her life, or actually being animals for some parts of it, she had a good sense of direction. One of the few good things she possessed. It was like a homing device, she only had to think of her location, and her silent, invisible radar locked on.

Blessedly. Because I don't think I'd find my way along a straight line right now.

The Great Hall...inevitably she would find herself there. She knew it. And there, she had to make one very important decision...though she knew deep inside of her it had been made.

Her arm throbbed where Sirius had touched it, and her back seemed to pulse under the pressure of the Locarius spell, which would only get stronger after time passed. What meagre possessions she had left did not matter to her now, she still had her Mother's personal trust funds left to her, and she had enough Galleons and Sickles to start anew just about anywhere.

Of course Siana, run away you great coward...do you what you do best. Severus is gone, and you don't even care...you're just going to run instead of see through the consequences...

~ I'm not running! I'm stopping others getting hurt! This isn't running away! This is looking for answers! ~

At least let yourself be taken, end it all. So what if Voldemort gets stronger? He can't be any worse that Uncle Frederick can he?

~ You know. You know that's not true. You're a damned fool. ~

Siana's hand clipped the banister as she walked quickly down one staircase, avoiding the gaze of students who did not interrupt her, nor seem all that interested in her flight - because most hadn't the slightest clue who she was. She was frightened of seeing another Professor, especially McGonagall, or worse, Headmaster Dumbledore, who would know immediately that something was wrong.

And he did ask me not to go. But what else is there? I need answers. I'm going to get answers. It's not like I'll be any use here anywhere. Dammit Frederick stop it!

Her face twisted as the Locarius spell increased in sudden pressure. It was a funny piece of magic, when cut off to relieve pressure, it alerted the spell caster of the location anyway. It was useless to fight in that respect, if you didn't want to be found, you had to run...there was no other choice.

Siana was now jogging towards the Great Hall. Her fingers strayed awkwardly to the wand nestled securely at her side. No choice. No choice.

Her hair was already beginning to bristle with fur, she saw the entrance to the Great Hall and nodded to herself. Class was still in session, and no one would be near the entrance. Her fingers started to curl, and the skin around Siana's arm became suddenly loose. They were changes that could not be seen, but were slowly and conveniently taking place. Siana knew the change so intimately that she could have done it in her sleep.

She saw the halls into the Great Hall and looked around. One of the storage cupboards was open and she ran into it, looking around frantically for a piece of parchment, or something to write on and with. In one of the top, musty shelves she found a roll of grey parchment - old and faded, and a mite ridden quill. A small bottle of black ink covered in dust was also there.

It's a sign. The chances of finding what I was looking for without having to really look for it?

She smoothed out the parchment with shaking hands and dipped the quill in the ink hurriedly.

~ Dumbledore,

I know you asked me not to go, and I know your reasoning is sound, but I cannot be safe here. The fact is, I can still be reached with the Locarius spell, and I cannot possibly help if I stay here.

I'm going to find my own answers, and you can trust that I will stay as safe as I am able.

Please pass a message onto Severus Snape, that I apologise for this situation that I have caused...can you also let Fawkes know that I kept two of Athena's pinion feathers. I'd like for Fawkes to have them, if they would be received.

Yours in service,

Siana Camille Basilica. ~

She folded up the parchment without waiting for the ink to dry. She knew that it wouldn't ruin her writing too much. Quietly she moved from the storage cupboard into the great hall and she looked around.

By the Great Hall doors was an old coat rack, and next to it, an owl stand. She walked over to it briskly, ignoring the growing pressure as best as she was able. From the wooden owl stand she took one of the small leather straps, stiff from unuse and tied it around the parchment securely.

Clear passage to you. Reach Dumbledore safely.

She then turned and wrenched the Great Hall doors open and looked around frantically, no one.

The change was over so fast that by the time the Great Hall doors were starting to swing themselves shut, she was already soaring up into the air, flapping her leathery wings hard as she fought to find a strong breeze that would carry her away from the spell with little effort. Already the pressure of the spell was lifting.

You might corner me one day Frederick, but I doubt you have the presence of mind to chase me around the world.

Her mind cleared a little as she found a breeze that both lifted her and increased her speed. She caught it deftly, ignoring the freedom of flight and concentrating on the feeling of the Locarius spell. It was definitely fading.

However the further she flew from Hogwarts the more she worried about other things, Dumbledore's reaction when he found the note...whether Severus would emerge from Voldemort's clutches alive...and whether she would actually find the answers that she was looking for.

I'm running from one mess, into another. Well...we'll see what happens, it can't be any worse than what's happened in the past few weeks anyway. And by Artemis that's a blessed relief. No. It's time to learn the real meaning of independence, and it's time to learn the real meaning of the mysteries around me.

I hope I prove them all wrong...I hope I show them what it really is to be a Basilica in the end.

I'm not going to come back a burden.

I'm going to come back a beacon.