Something Resembling A Story About Harry Potter

Chapter 1

~ Seventh Year Summary ~

Harry, Ron, and Hermione had an uneventful seventh year. Voldemort was still gathering power, and no one had an idea of where he was. But no one really wanted to find out. Harry was having enough trouble with his growing feelings for Hermione and his suspicions of Ron. Harry was made even more famous when he was named Head Boy and Hermione was named Head Girl, just like his mother and father. Ron had a secret, but revealed it only to Seamus, his boyfriend. Yes indeed, Ron was gay. However, Ron kept his secret to himself and decided to reveal to Harry and Hermione on Graduation Day, at the Ball. Before that, he was content to have secret trysts with Seamus. Hermione obviously got the largest amount of N.E.W.T.'s, and just stayed around Harry and Ron, but also got to know Ginny a lot better. Hermione also broken up with Krum. Ginny had gotten over her crush on Harry a long time ago, and was taking the place of Ron in the Dream Team because Ron was hardly around anymore. Ginny was really smart and had thrown herself into her studies. She was a prefect and was obviously going to be Head Girl next year. Draco Malfoy was extremely different now. His father had given up being a Death Eater, but was tortured by Voldemort until he was driven to insanity. Lucius was in St. Mungo's now. But Malfoy was getting over that, and was still pretty much being a jerk.

~ Graduation Day ~

Dumbledore says some stuff that's really sappy. He was standing on a stage, next to Professor McGonagall. She was by a large table with a bunch of diplomas on it. They were sparkly. Dumbledore made a long speech praising all the students as they came up to get their diplomas. When a top student came up, fireworks went off. Hermione received the top award for Transfiguration and Astronomy. Harry won the award for Defense Against the Dark Arts and the award for Quidditch. Ron surprisingly won the award for Charms, Lavender Brown was given the Divination award, and no duh, Draco won Potions. Neville got the Herbology award. Ginny was given the award for top overall student in her year, and Hermione won it for seventh year.

~ 1 hour later ~

"And now I am pleased to say that some of our best students, or the people whose diplomas had fireworks, have been selected to go to the University of Phoenix in America. These students are at the top of the class. Can I have a round of applause for Hermione Granger and Harry Potter, Head Boy and Girl? They will be going to America with Ronald Weasley, Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, Parvati Patil, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, and Virginia Weasley. Ginny is a sixth year, but as Padma Patil does not wish to go, Ginny has been chosen because of her top grades."

Polite applause is heard from people who just came for the free food.

"Finally, I would like you all to join us at the graduation party later this evening. Thank you and have a wonderful night!"

~ At the Graduation party later that evening ~

The party took place in the Great Hall. The ceiling was pure starriness. There was no other light, providing plenty of shadows for macking. But for the people who weren't overcome by lust, there was a dance floor. Where you could also make out. But if you wanted to just have dinner and muse upon your last night at Hogwarts, otherwise known as not having a date, you could just sit at a table and eat.

There were lots of people dancing/macking. Some fairly obvious pairs were Dean and Padma, Harry and Hermione (but just as "friends"), and Crabbe and Goyle. Goyle looks extremely hilarious/gross in a dress. Especially a nice silver clingy one. Actually, the mental image was disgusting, not to mention the sight of it.

Some not so obvious pairs were Ron and Seamus, Pansy and Ernie McMillan (but only because Draco wouldn't go with her), and for some odd reason, Millicent Bulstrode and Justin Finch-Fletchley. Most of the people were dancing, but Parvati was staring across the room at Blaise Zabini. Neither girl had come with a date, but they had each been asked out by a lot of people.

Parvati walked up to Blaise and said, "Hey Blaise?"

Blaise looked at her and replied, "Yeah?"

"Umm... I don't really know how to say this..."

"Say what?"

All of a sudden, Parvati comes out and said it. "I know that you probably think that I'm really weird, but I have to say this. Blaise, I'm secretly in love with you."

"You-you are?"

"Yes, I am. I knew it! I knew that you would think I'm despicable! I think I'll go crawl in a sewage drain and die... I'll never have your love."

Blaise softly said, "But you do."

"What? You're making fun of me, aren't you??"

"No, never! I've loved you for a really long time. I'm so glad that you had the courage to say it. I know I never could've. I just didn't want to lose your friendship."

"You'll never lose that."

Parvati and Blaise simultaneously moved forward, and they started to kiss. It was lucky they were in a shadowy room.

~ In another part of the room where Draco is ~

Draco Malfoy, preoccupied with generally evil thoughts even though his father and mother had given up being death eaters, bumped into someone. He looked down at the person, almost going to say sorry, when he noticed who it was.

"Oh. It's a loser. Wait a sec, did I say loser? I meant really annoying Harry Pothead's non-girlfriend loser."

"Shove off, Malfoy." Virginia Weasley, now known as Nia to her friends, looked at Draco like he was something nasty on the bottom of her shoe. Something quite nasty.

"Well, what's wrong? Did Harry break up with you? Oh no! Even worse, he might have broken up with Older Weasel! Your family won't be able to survive!"

"Just leave me alone, you bastard."

"I'm sorry, dear. I can't. I just have to see your face." Malfoy said this with his customary smirk.

"Alright fine! I'll move." As Nia moved off, she cast one last look at Malfoy and suddenly noticed his hotness. His hair wasn't slicked back anymore, it just kind of flopped forward on top of his forehead.

Malfoy smirked. Again. He had successfully annoyed yet another Weasley yet another time. He then looked up and saw her receding figure and he choked. Since when did Ginny Weasley have that long flowing hair that looked like living fire? Sure she had the red hair, but that hair was no longer the carrot color it had been not too long ago, he was sure. He suddenly had an overwhelming urge to ask her to dance. But he didn't.

~ Over where Harry, Ron and Hermione are as we certainly want to know what they're doing ~

Harry was sitting with Hermione as her date. They had decided to go with each other because they did not really want to go with any of the other seventh years, and Ron didn't want to go with Hermione either for undisclosed reasons. It was strange, really, the way Ron wasn't hanging out with them anymore. But Harry supposed Ron would tell them what was wrong eventually. Maybe.

Harry sipped some nice spiked butterbeer and sighed. He couldn't believe that he was finally leaving Hogwarts. At least he didn't have to worry about what he would do after school. He was going to the University of Phoenix, along with Hermione and Ron. He didn't know what he would do without them, certainly without Hermione. Harry knew her better than anybody, even Ron. Then Ron walked up, looking nervous.

"Harry!"

"Huh? What is it?" Harry snapped forward.

"Geez, Harry where have you been? Ron's been trying to tell us something."

"Oh! Is that why you were saying my name? Because you know, normally people don't try and get my attention by saying my name incessantly."

Hermione muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like "idiot".

"Shut up Herm. What's up Ron?"

"I need to tell you guys something."

"Alrighty then."

"Yeah Ron go right ahead," Hermione already knew, of course. It was kinda obvious after all.

Harry, of course, was oblivious. Then Seamus came up and said, "Have you told them yet Ron?"

"No, I'm just about to. Guys... I butter my toast the other way."

"Huh?" Harry had no idea what Ron was talking about.

"Harry, he's saying that umm..." Hermione didn't know how to break the news to Harry.

"I'm queer, Harry." Ron wished that there was an easier way to say this, like he could have Harry call up somewhere and have a recorded message go, "Hello! If you've reached this message, then your best friend is gay! Have a nice day! Oh and don't try to change their mind. It won't work." But no, of course there wasn't anything like that.

"Go on..."

"Fruity. I drive my car on the other side of the road."

"What the fuck're you talking about Ron?"

Hermione couldn't take it anymore. "For God's sakes, Harry, he's GAY."

Harry saw the light. "Ohhhhhh! Okay. I can accept that. Wait... Unless... Please don't tell me that you're interested in me."

Ron had to tell them about his significant other. "No! I'm with Seamus."

Harry and Hermione both were shocked to their very core. "EURGH!!!!!" They both looked like they were about to be hit by a car.

Ron turned around and looked lovingly at Seamus. Seamus, in return, looked lovingly at Ron. Suddenly, Dean came up and looked at them both jealously.

Then, of course, Ron and Seamus started making out.

Harry shrieked like he did when he was a little girl. [A/N: Austin Powers!!

;) ] "Get a room for Christ's sake!"

Hermione shook her head knowingly. "I always suspected it of you Ron. All those girls... it was just an act. You know, I'm actually kind of glad that you've decided to come out of the closet."

Ron decided that he had had enough, and motioned Hermione away as best he could while sticking his tongue far down enough Seamus' mouth to reach his tonsils. "Go 'way, her-mi-ee."

Harry looked on and shook his head, "Eurgh... C'mon Hermione, let's go and let these two slobber." Harry and Hermione walked away, shaking their heads in disgust.

~ The Next Day at the Airport ~

Harry walked into the airport. He had never been there before because the Dursley's were such cheapskates. But now he was out of the house because he was eighteen, and legally an adult.

"Come on, 'Mione!"

"Coming *gasp* Harry!"

"Geez, how many books do you have in that thing?"

"I dunno. I think at least two hundred. Or more. Probably more."

"How did you fit them in?"

"I used a Shrinking Charm."

"And where, pray tell, will you put them?"

"Well, I kinda shrunk a bookcase too."

"Oh, well I'm glad you thought of everything then."

Hermione mistook the sarcasm for excitement, "I know!"

"Hey, Hermione? Have you seen Ron anywhere?"

"Uh... No. I think that he's with Seamus."

"Ah. I see. Well, I certainly do NOT want to see him then."

"Me neither."

"All righty then, lets find Ginny."

"'Kay. Wait a sec, there she is! Ginny! Wait up!"

"Hermione? There you are! Hi! How are you?"

"I'm fine. Is everyone here?"

"Yeah, I think so." Ginny thought for a second. "Well, anyway, let's go check."

"Ok, C'mon Harry!"

"Be right there. I'm just looking for everyone else."

"Harry, they're right over there just like twenty feet away."

"Where? I see a bunch of people, but there strangely seems to be a ferret in the middle."

"Ha ha ha. Now let's get going."

"Okay, okay. You know, Hermione, Old Ron would have thought that that was hilarious." The three of them walked over to join the rest of the group.

"Oh, you mean un-gay Ron? Well, Harry, he is gay."

"I know... I miss him. He's with Seamus all the time now."

"I'm sure that you'll be like that once you get a girlfriend."

"What if I don't get one?"

"Harry, you are the Harry Potter. There are quite a few people out there who would loooooooooove to be your girlfriend. Or boyfriend, if you swing that way. Do you?"

"EWW!! Hermione! Gross! Ron's already gay, I'm not going to be."

"Okay, if you say so." Finally they reached the other people, who were suddenly a lot farther away than they had seemed before. It was really quite strange how they got there when their conversation was over.

(A/N: Hmm... I wonder how that happened? *snickers evilly*)

"Okay, is everyone here? Let's see. Harry, me, Ron, Seamus, Parvati, Blaise, Dean, Pansy, Ginny, and Malfoy should be here."

"Ron's not here."

"Hey, neither's Seamus."

"Oh shit." Damn, damn, damn! Hermione cursed mentally. "Okay, who wants the "pleasure" of getting them?"

"I'll do it."

"Oh, thank you so much Harry."

"Yes, Potter does want to see them macking, doesn't he? Anything you want to tell us, Potter?"

Ginny, Blaise, and Parvati were the only ones who snickered, but Dean looked like he wanted to. Harry sent them all a death glare, and then stalked away.

Harry looked in a bunch of different places, and then he went to the bathroom. He tried to brace himself, and he went in.

The Boy Who Lived then soon became the Boy Who Puked. He was probably the person with the highest tolerance of pain. But even Harry Potter was unable to stand the sight of his best friend madly snogging in a bathroom stall. And you know, Harry's not against homosexuals or anything. No, Harry just could not stand his best friend, who he THOUGHT liked girls, Hermione even! Kissing Seamus. That was even more of a surprise. Seamus was always the one in the dormitory bringing in naughty magazines.

"Eurgh! My eyes! Yuck!" Harry then rushed into the next stall and started to vomit.

"Sorry love, we have to go. I presume that's why you came, Harry?" Ron said all of this trying not to smirk. But he failed miserably.

The toilet flushed, and Harry came out of the stall. He walked over to the sink to try and rinse out ... his eyes?

"No Ron, of course I wanted to see you two almost making wild passionate love. Yes, of course that's why I'm here you git."

"You need to have that stick pulled out from your ass."

Harry decided to just ignore it. "Okay, I'm not going to walk slowly, so you better keep up. Also, I'm going to pretend not to know you."

"I don't care if you pretend not to know me because all I need is Seamus."

"Everything's fine with me if it's fine with my Ronniekins."

"Seamus! I've always wanted someone to call me that! Oh, now I can die happy!"

"Can it! Let's go. Our flight is in about an hour. I think that we're boarding soon." After he said this, Harry quickly jogged off.

"Harry! There you are! Umm, why are your eyes all red? What's wrong?"

"I think that you can see the answer to that right behind me, slowly walking along and holding hands," Harry stated grimly.

"Oh." There was nothing else Hermione could say.

~ Meanwhile, in America as I am sure that we all want to know what Big-V is up to ~

"Griffin, I have something to tell you," said a metallic voice from the dark corner of his room.

"Who's there?" said Griffin. And in his head, he thought, "What the hell??"

"A spirit waiting for my chance to talk to you for many years," said the voice.

Griffin slowly walked over to the corner of his room, and stared into the darkness.

"Come out," he said, peering into the darkness.

"As you wish," said the voice.

A snake slithered out from the darkness, and became the form of a human body.

"I am Lord Voldemort," the figure said.

"Just my luck, I'm going off to college and I'm going to be possessed by Voldemort," thought Griffin.

"Actually, you're not," said Voldemort, "I have a simple chore for you, that you will perform because I am your father and you will do anything for me."

"You're my what?"

"Your father."

Griffin thought. Then he realized. Then he wondered why his mom had sex with a weirdass like Voldemort. He didn't realize that actually, Voldemort was kinda hot, way back when. Then he wondered why his life had to be so complicated. His mother had him when she was 15, and dropped out of school, then married Mick. Then, it hit him like a load of bricks. But it didn't hurt like bricks would have. After all, there had always been that little evil bit in him.

"You're my father, when my mom was 15, you're my father!" exclaimed Griffin.

"Yes," Voldemort replied.

"My father, my father," Griffin repeated. He couldn't believe it. Actually, he could.

"I have a task for you, come," said the voice, for the body had turned into a greenish, hazy cloud.

* * *
"I should call Griffin, it's time to tell him," thought Isabel, grabbing her phone.

"We're going off to college, and the sooner I find out if he loves me back or not, the sooner my misery will be over, or the sooner it will begin." She punched the numbers into her phone, but the answering machine came up.

"Oh, screw it, he's never home," she said, and ran downstairs to dinner.

* * *

Griffin and Voldemort Apparated into the small, lonely house on the hill and Voldemort shut every nook and cranny in the building.

"My plan shall unfold now," he said, "As you know, in your fifth year of school after that dumb Harry Potter ruined everything, I withdrew from power. I thought and thought, when finally I figured something out. There is an ancient remedy that is infallible, and, as you are going to University of Phoenix with him, you shall make this potion, and get it into the bodies of every pupil there."

"What does it do?" said Griffin.

"It puts the drinker in a stupor, and the person, will not gain full consciousness until they drink the antidote. Once all are in a stupor, I will come and turn them all into death eaters. Slowly, we will hit every campus in America, and I shall have many followers, including Harry Potter. Then, I shall release my wrath on the world and conquer it."

"Sounds great," said Griffin, but inside, he felt a pang of opposition. It was Isabel telling him not to. He knew she loved him, and that she wanted him to be free of all evil. Therefore, every time he tried to do something bad, he felt Isabel telling him not to. It was as though they had a love bonding. "But I don't like her," thought Griffin.