The Troll

Chapter 1: Reminiscences

I laid there in bed with her - my wife. Merlin, it was wonderful to say that. I couldn't imagine a more perfect life. I watched my wife for what seemed like hours. She had never looked any better. I slowly caressed her arm draped over my chest. Her beautiful pecan hair lay scattered about her bare back. I took a piece and fiddled with it a bit, smoothing it down completely. I loved to play with her hair. She stirred as I kissed the top of her head.

I traced her fingers before taking her hand in my own. She instinctively linked fingers with mine and squeezed. I chuckled to myself before settling back on my pillow. It seemed that every time I took her hands in mine, she would link fingers. It had been like that ever since we admitted we liked each other - I had first admitted to myself that I couldn't live without her. It took one of the strangest and most wonderful experiences of my life to realize that and a troll to prove.

* * *

"Bugger off, Hermione!" Ron exclaimed, running up the stairs to the boys' dormitories and slamming the door behind him.

'Why does Hermione have to be so bossy? What's it to her if I don't do my homework? It's due in three days, and I'd rather practice my Quidditch skills! Merlin knows I need it. With homework, classes, regular Quidditch practice, and prefect duties, I haven't found time to work on it alone. I've been working my "lazy" arse off, and this is just a little rest from all my obligations. Does Hermione understand that? No. I'm not even sure if she knows what the word rest means.' He opened the door labeled Sixth Year Boys.

'She is just trying to breed another workaholic Hermione. Well, bollocks to that! She is a stuffy, stuck-up, bossy, overworking, know-it-all prude! I'm not going to spend all of my time studying and working.'

He strode over to his bed and pulled his broom out from under it. He needed to clear his mind and try to forget about homework, prefect duties, and Hermione's constant nagging. He ran through the common room before Hermione could start another row. He didn't want to argue with her right now. When he reached the pitch, the cool breeze invited him eagerly. Ron hopped on his broom and lapped around the pitch a few times to warm up before taking out the Quaffle. However, no matter what he did, his mind kept wandering back to Hermione. 'Good riddance,' he thought crossly. He didn't need Hermione hassling him about Head Boy-ship or pushing him to do homework that wasn't due for several days. Or calling him lazy when he'd rather be playing chess than working and constantly reminding him of his irresponsibility when he turned the other cheek to some minor offenses to the rulebook or even broke one himself. Especially when she went on about bloody Krum or spew. 'Good bloody riddance!'

Still, he couldn't free his mind of their argument. It wasn't nearly as bad as the Crookshanks vs. Scabbers row or the Yule Ball row, but Ron released a lot of pent up anger and frustration towards Hermione in this particular row, and it turned into something quite large.

"Oh, Ron, why don't you work on the Potions essay due on Thursday? It's quite complicated, and you haven't even started yet!"

"I'll do it tomorrow. I need to work on my flying."

"Tomorrow and the next day won't be enough time! And you most certainly aren't going to copy mine. You won't learn if you keep mooching off other people. You need to do the work yourself, and tomorrow will not be enough time."

"MOOCHING? I do plenty of work myself! I wouldn't have asked to borrow your essay anyway because I know you well enough to know that you would have told me to bugger off!"

"Shows you how well you know me, Ronald. I would not have told you to, as you so blatantly put it, 'bugger off.' If you took my advice once in a while, you might get better marks!"

"Why would I take advice from a boring know-it-all? I might just turn into one too. Now, excuse me, but I want to go enjoy my youth."

"Your youth is the only time when you can take N.E.W.T.s! If you applied yourself more, you would have gotten more O.W.L.s! Harry got -"

"Harry got - I do not care what Harry got! I am not Harry! I got enough, didn't I?"

"Yes, well -"

"Then that's enough for me, thank-you-very-much! I did the best I could, and that was last year! This is this year, and I don't give a damn about what Harry or Hermione got! I got enough to take all the required N.E.W.T. classes, and that's enough for me. Thank you for bringing up the fact that I only got eight, like my mum doesn't remind me enough already. You've completely proven to me that my life is nothing compared to The Boy Who Lived or The Girl Who Studies So Much She Doesn't Have A Life! I feel so much better now!"

"You are being absolutely ridiculous! I don't think that way at all!"

"You sure have a funny way of showing it! Harry only got one more O.W.L. than me, which I missed very slimly, and you make it sound like I'm either a lazy arse or Harry is the next Dumbledore! Now, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to go practice my flying. Why don't you go bother someone else for a change? Go make sure Harry is living up to his flawless reputation; you never seem quite as concerned about him."

"Ron! Will you stop it? You're being extremely unreasonable! All I'm trying to say is that - DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME! YOU'LL NEVER BE AN AUROR IF YOU DON'T EVEN TRY!"

"I do try! Just because I don't study every waking moment of the day, doesn't mean I don't try! The fact of the matter is, Miss Bossy, I work very hard. I have Quidditch skills to exercise, whether or not it's during the scheduled practices, which I have to organize, being the captain and all. I have prefect duties, homework, and N.E.W.T. classes. Excuse my wanting to take a break. You say that I don't try, but I have to relax sometime. If you decide that all work and no play makes Hermione a better girl, you do that, but I'm not you or Harry! It would be fantastic if you'd shut your big, bucktoothed mouth!"

"What on Earth did I do to you, Ronald Weasley? I'm a prefect too, and I have top marks to maintain. I need breaks, but I have my priorities in place. Plus, I was only trying to help. I didn't want you up in to your ears tomorrow night, and I do support you in what you want. I'm simply trying to say that when you do get to it, I might not be there. What then, hum? Your constant procrastination isn't helping you practice for when you have to make it on your own. But if you don't apply yourself, how am I supposed to help you? It's as if you don't even care anymore! Don't take my advice, no skin off my nose. Flunk out for all I care, you ungrateful, rude, selfish, arrogant prat!"

"Bugger off, Hermione!" And with that, he slammed the door in her face.

Who cared about Hermione anyway? All she ever did was get into people's faces about everything. She would go on and on, never caring about what they had to say. For instance, that spew nonsense. The house-elves didn't want to be freed, but she wanted some glorifying heroism by freeing them all, so she could be known for centuries to come. She had always treated Ron as if he didn't know what was best for himself, like an overly protective mother. With having one already, two was a nightmare. She didn't understand that Ron wanted to live his life according to what he felt was best for himself. He didn't want to free the house-elves, study until his head exploded or become another nagging know-it-all. She didn't understand that there were more important things than work, besides what you labeled under friends, family, life threatening, possibly life threatening, or is better than schoolwork because you can use it in a life threatening situation. Either way, Ron didn't want to become another Humdrum Hermione.

It didn't matter anymore, anyway. Hermione was always going to meddle around in people's business, and one day it was going to catch up with her. Sure, he, Hermione, and Harry had done their fair share of meddling. Some things they shouldn't have, and some things they should've. Ron's schoolwork (after five and a half years of nagging) and spew were two things that she should've just let go. However, her stubbornness stood as firm as the day they had met. Some things couldn't be changed, and Hermione and Ron's different views on priority and work ethic was one of them. If only her rock hard perseverance cracked just a bit, Ron might receive a much-needed break from his nosy best friend.

'I should have never become friends with her,' Ron thought defiantly as he Charmed the Quaffle to shoot at him. 'Never having to deal with her constant nagging would be a dream. All she does is bother me about bloody grades, bloody homework, and bloody school. The girl is duller than dirt. She's Hermione the house-elf. All work and no play makes Hermione a boring girl. I'll go nutters - run around the school starkers for a day - before I turn into another Hermione.'

After practice, Ron helped himself to some food from the kitchens and brought it up to his dorm, where he worked on homework until nine at night. Then he packed up his papers and essays, and set to bed early, placing the dirty dishes on the stairs for the house-elves to find.

* * *

Ron found himself in a pitch-black room. Ever so slowly, stars began to appear in the sky as though a child was drawing them. Soon, not only were they appearing on the ceiling, but the walls and floor too. They had emerged out of thin air, as if they jumped off the walls and now hovered in the air.

As he reached out to touch one of them, every star sprang to life, buzzing about resembling Irish fairies. More and more stars appeared, and the existing stars linked together, creating chains of light.

The whole room was filled with swirling bands whose stars were steadily becoming brighter and brighter from their original candlelit glow. When a chain of them passed Ron's nose, a door (though there was none) seemed to open, leading to a larger room. Every cluster of light shot out of the door and reproduced more clusters, larger and brighter than their parents. Ron's mouth dropped open when he saw what was beyond the non-existent doors.

Far in the distance was a sun-sized object glowing assorted shades of blue. It was glowing so brightly that it looked like a continuous blue explosion. It was the sun in this large "room" of interesting objects. There were thousands of small, colored glass balls all linked together. They spiraled around the never-ending room. The linked stars, now varying from the size of a Snitch to the size of three Quaffles were zooming around in all directions. There were hundreds of moons spinning about, changing stages as they zipped round and round.

There were spherical indigo and scarlet globs of goo separating and gooping together. They would shape themselves into strange models like his Cleansweep, the Ford Anglia, his chess set, and the brain that attacked him the year before. He saw Pensivigraphic images of family reunions, many Hogwarts memoirs and random, random memories from his past. Like explaining to Harry about Wizard Cards on the first train to Hogwarts. Ginny telling them about Percy's girlfriend, and him and Hermione walking around Hogsmeade alone together. Seeing Hermione as one of the captors for the second task in fourth year, as well as working with Hermione during the D.A. the year before. In addition, him and Hermione walking around the grounds after shortened prefect meetings this year.

The dozens of beautiful, yet massive, planets which, Ron noticed, were very similar to Jupiter, except in different bold colors like gold and teal. The ringed planets were the only things in the "room" that Ron noticed were not moving from their spot, though they were rotating fast and in odd ways.

Ron had never seen something so spectacular and bizarre in his entire life. It looked like outer space except with millions of unexplainable phenomena. All at once, the goop, moons, stars, and glass bubbles moved out of the way and made a trail toward the great blue sun. The planets' colorful rings jettisoned themselves off their planets, shrank enough for Ron to fit through, and formed a single file from Ron to the sun as if to barricade the other objects from the trail. The blue sun shot out a long band of watery, green slime towards Ron. The green slime stopped right before Ron's face and stretched out to fit within the inside of the rings. The green slime barrier flashed blindingly baby pink before turning into a liquid gel and then invisible. A second pearly glob of goo shot out from the blue orb and stopped halfway between Ron and the blue ball. The glob combusted into a red fireball, creating an earth-shattering sonic boom before releasing a heatless red glow.

Ron suddenly felt his body lifting off the ground and then being shot out into space. As he passed, the goo formed different images that he could see only for a split second before he passed. He saw one of his rows with Hermione that afternoon. Ron was heading toward his dorm when Hermione shouted at his back. Ron looked over his shoulder at her.

"YOU'LL NEVER BE AN AUROR IF YOU DON'T EVEN TRY!" cried Hermione's voice, fading away in the distance; everything sounded so far away.

Immediately after first seeing the image, he flew by it, and the next image, from the beginning of the year, formed in the goo. Hermione and Ron were walking down the train corridor on the Hogwarts Express after their prefect meeting. Ron was ignoring Hermione's chiding as she trailed along behind, her hands on her hips.

"If you really want to be Head Boy, you'll have to work extra hard this year. I know you can do it if you really try, Ron."

The next image was from this past summer at the Burrow. Hermione's arms were around Ron's neck in a tight hug. After she released him, she looked up at his tall figure with a smile dazzling enough to have Draco Malfoy after her. At least, that's the way it was to Ron.

"How are you, Ron? Have you had a good holiday? It's wonderful to see you. I hope you've done your homework," said Hermione with a hint of amusement in her voice.

That was the last image Ron saw before he shut his eyes. The swirling moons, stars, goo, and glass bubbles flying past was too much for his stomach. Though he couldn't see anything, he still heard bits of conversation as he rocketed through space.

"Accio, Brain!"

"I've put a Protean Charm on them."

"It's my name on the letter."

"Ron! The Cup must have been a Portkey! I just know it! How else could they have disappeared from Hogwarts like that? We have to tell Dumbledore!"

"You're fraternizing with the enemy!"

"I'd love to go the World Cup, Ron! I'll see you on Thursday. Love from, Hermione."

"HE'S NOT PETER, HE'S SCABBERS!"

"I don't think anyone should ride that broom just yet!"

"Look at this. Brand-new wand. Fourteen inches, willow, containing one unicorn tail-hair."

"You solved it! You solved it!"

"Wait till everyone finds out you've got a tail!"

"You're telling me you did fly here?"

"I'll be a Knight."

"Nicholas Flamel is the only known maker of the Philosopher's Stone!"

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

Ron opened his eyes now because of a bright light burning past his eyelids. He was so close to the red ball that Ron thought he would crash into it.

"Hermione! She's in the girls' bathroom!" screamed Harry's voice now.

Ron heard his eleven-year-old self scream something, but it was too late. The red blazing ball engulfed him into its heatless, blinding glow before everything went back to pitch-black.

Ron opened his eyes to sunlight shining in his face. He quickly closed his eyes and moved out of its path.

"Ron, get your lazy arse out of bed, or you're going to miss breakfast," said Harry impatiently, throwing a pillow at Ron's head. Ron groaned and threw it back at him.

"Fine, don't eat breakfast, I don't care. I'm hungry, and Neville, Dean, and Seamus are already down there. Now, if you aren't ready in five minutes, I'm leaving you up here." Ron groaned again as Harry pushed him off the bed.

"I'm glad you saw it my way, Ron. Five minutes, or you might have to eat with Granger," Harry chuckled, picking up his bag and heading out the door. Ron immediately awakened, and his head shot up at Harry.

"Harry, wait!" Harry spun around and looked at Ron. "What's with calling Hermione, Granger?"

"Are you kidding with me, Ron?" Ron shook his head, indicating that he wasn't.

"Why are you angry with her? Hermione and I had the row, I've never heard you be like that to her or take sides."

"Funny, Weasley; are you feeling all right? You'd better see Madam Pomfrey. See you at breakfast or Transfiguration. If you miss breakfast, I'll save you a piece of toast - with extra marmalade." With that, Harry opened the door and headed down into the common room.

'That was weird,' thought Ron. 'Since when did Harry start calling Hermione "Granger?" Why is he also suddenly so cold toward her?' Ron shrugged it off and headed toward the showers. Something about today definitely didn't feel right, but Ron couldn't put his finger on it.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Disclaimer - The plot is mine, but the setting, characters, and Harry Potter world belongs to Warner Bros (ick) and Oh-so-wonderful J.K. Rowling. (*Builds shrine to J.K.)

OBHWF Girl