In the End

Chapter 4: Questions and Answers

Hermione Granger sat on her favorite couch by the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room, absently tapping a quill against her chin and studying the short list she had begun at the beginning of term.

"Hey, Hermione," said Ron, flopping down on the couch. "Whatcha up to?"

"Nothing," she murmured, studying the list in front of her. "Nothing. Just...thinking...do you?...Professor Kent...something's not right..."

Ron stared at her and blinked. "Hermione," he said, "we've been over this before: complete sentences are our friends."

Hermione rolled her eyes and huffed. "I was just thinking about what's been happening with Professor Kent lately, all right?"

"What are you on about?" he asked, bewildered. No surprise there, Hermione thought dryly.

"There's just something odd about her," she said, gazing into the fire. "First of all, there was the incident in the Great Hall. It was as if she had sucked out all the pain Harry was feeling and put it in herself instead. Remember what Harry said? That when she touched him, the pain cut in half? And how did she know that Professor Snape was coming that day when we were in the hospital wing? And how is it she seems to always know what we're feeling? And have you seen her eyes--?"

"Whoa, whoa, Hermione, slow down," Ron grinned as he held up his hands. "Take a deep breath and start over."

"Arrgghh!" Hermione cried. "You're impossible! Heaven forbid you actually listen to me every once in a while!"

"Hey, now!" Ron exclaimed. "I didn't do anything. And for your information, I was too listening! I always listen to you, Hermione, whether you believe it or not!"

Hermione glared at him; she couldn't decide if she wanted to hit him or snog him senseless. "Then what did I say?" she asked, crossing her arms and lifting her chin.

"You were going on about Professor Kent," he shot back. "About how she knows things about us or knows when people are coming and so on! I just wanted you to slow down, okay? Is that such a bad thing?"

Hermione felt her anger disappear; he really had been listening. Swallowing, she fought against the irrational tears that were filling up her eyes.

Seeing her about to cry, Ron panicked, "Oh shite, Hermione, please don't cry. Please, I didn't mean to make you cry." He held open his arms to pat her on the back or something when she instead flung herself forward and attached herself to his body.

"Oh Ron!" she wailed, talking very fast. "I'm sorry! I'm just so stressed and I'm so worried about you and Harry and my family and your family and I'm so scared about what's going to happen and I think Harry's been hiding something from us and now there's this woman, Kent, and we don't know anything about her--"

"Now that's not true," he said soothingly as he closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of her hair. "We know she's in the Order, meaning she's a good guy--er, well, girl." Hermione half-laughed, half-hiccupped into his shirt.

"I suppose you're right," she mumbled, fully enjoying being pressed into his chest. "But Pettigrew was in the Order, too, and look how that turned out."

"That's different," said Ron, running his hand through her soft, bushy hair. "He was a rat and a horrible person. Professor Kent's really nice and she's helping Harry with his Occlumency. Trust me, 'Mione, when I say that he's been sleeping a lot better lately. Hasn't had a vision or really bad nightmare in a long time. Well, besides Halloween."

Hermione looked up and gazed into his beautiful blue eyes. "What did you call me?"

"What?" he croaked, looking frightened.

"Did you just call me 'Mione?" she asked, wide-eyed.

"Err...ahhh...errr," he stuttered, biting his lip and not looking her in the eye.

"Ron," she said softly, putting her hand under his chin and turning him to face her, "don't ever do it again."

Ron stared at her in shock before a huge grin broke out on his face and the two of them began to laugh.

"Yeah, it's pretty bad, innit?" he said, his eyes bright and his lips parted ever so slightly.

"Yes," she breathed, her stomach flopping about. They were very close now, if he would only lean in just another few centimeters...

"Hey, Ron!" cried Harry's voice as he thundered down the boys' staircase. Jumping apart, Ron stood hastily, mumbled something incoherent, and sped off to meet Harry at the bottom of the stairs.

Hermione wanted to kill them both.

*~*~*~*

Joanna and Harry sat opposite one another with closed eyes, meditating peacefully in the Potions classroom. It was the following Thursday evening after Halloween and Joanna felt that now was the time to start branching out from Occlumency and into other similar fields.

"Harry?" she said softly. His vibrant green eyes fluttered open.

"Yeah?"

"We're going to start learning some other techniques for now on, along with Occlumency," she said.

"Like what?" Harry asked, cocking his head.

"Legilimency, for one thing," she replied. "I believe you are a natural Legilimens, Harry. I saw evidence of it on the night of our first session."

His jaw dropped to the floor. "Are you sure?" he asked meekly.

"I'm rarely wrong about these things, Harry," she said with a small wink, "but I needed to wait until you'd gotten a better grasp on Occlumency before we started on the other, which is why I haven't mentioned anything to you yet. Anyway, I'm going to teach this to you--with the permission of Professor Dumbledore--in order to help you better clear your mind and perhaps aid you in the future should the need for Legilimency arise. However, you should not, under any circumstances, use this gift to read Voldemort's mind. Do I make myself clear?"

Harry nodded, and then looked pensive for a moment. "Is it supposed to help with the weird dreams I've been having?"

"What weird dreams?" she asked, concerned. "It's not Voldemort, is it?"

"No, no," he said, waving her off. "It was actually kind of cool. I had a dream about the four founders."

Joanna, who at that exact moment had taken a sip of herbal tea, promptly spit it out all over the front of her shirt. "What?" she sputtered.

"Yeah," he said, running a hand through his messy hair. "I thought it was really weird, too. I had it on the morning of Halloween. It was when Gryffindor kicked Slytherin out of Hogwarts."

Joanna stared at him, thunderstruck. "Y-You remembered that?"

"Er, yeah," Harry said, furrowing his brow. "I usually remember my dreams. Why? What's going on?"

Joanna bit her lip; she now had proof that Harry was the only living Heir of Godric Gryffindor and all she could do was sit there and gawk. Brilliant, Jo.

"Harry, do you know anything about your family's history?" she blurted out.

"Er, no," he grunted.

"Harry--you--I--" Apparently I'm incapable of human speech! she thought angrily. Breathing deeply, she started over. "Harry, we need to speak with Professor Dumbledore immediately."

"Why?"

"Because there's something really important that I need to tell you," she said. "It's time you found out who I really am."

"But--wait!" he exclaimed. "I thought you said you needed to keep your, er, identity a secret."

"That is true, Harry," she said, nodding, "but I also promised that I would not keep things from you and I do not want to break that pledge. Besides, telling you who I am will not change things. No one will find out. I trust you."

Harry gulped. As much as he wanted to know who this woman was, he couldn't help but feel a pit of dread building in his stomach. "But what if Voldemort breaks into my mind? Then what happens? He could see who you really are. He'll come after you and it'd be my fault again."

Joanna stopped her movements and smiled sadly. "You are just like your mother," she said quietly, catching him off guard. "She always cared about other people and rarely thought about herself. You might look like your dad, Harry, but you act exactly like your mum."

Harry felt his heart swell. "Thank you," he murmured, blushing slightly. "But I don't want to know who you are, not if it could cost you your life."

"All right, Harry," she said, "if that is what you want. But one day I promise I will tell you."

"Thank you," he said, smiling gratefully.

"Oh, Harry?" Joanna said suddenly. "Would you mind if I told Professor Dumbledore about your dreams? I need his opinion on something."

He seemed to struggle for a moment before coming to a decision. "Sure, I s'pose."

"Good. Now," she said, rubbing her hands together, "we've gotten a bit off track. Let's start over from the beginning, shall we?"

Harry nodded slowly, looking as if he had something else on his mind.

"Is there something else you wanted to ask me?" Joanna asked.

Harry looked at her and smiled sadly. "Do you know why he chose to bother me on Halloween?"

"Because of your parents," Joanna said; it was not a question. Harry nodded again and gazed up at the ceiling.

"He wanted me to remember that night as he remembered it," Harry mumbled. "But I was able to block him, for the most part. Though it hurt like hell, er, heck, er, a lot. It hurt a lot."

Joanna smiled. "I know, I felt it too," she said, sighing loudly. Running her hand over her face, she said, "We need to get back to work. We'll talk later, okay?"

"Okay," he replied.

"And Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm proud of you."

He blushed. "Thanks."

*~*~*~*

Twenty minutes later, the two stopped meditating and were standing across from each other in the room.

"All right," said Joanna. "Legilimency is a very...tricky art and can take quite a while to fully master. Took me a couple of years," she said with a grin. "Now watch my wand movement."

Joanna demonstrated the proper looping movement of her wand and had Harry repeat it a few times before he had it down pat.

"Good job," she said briskly. "Now, I need to tell you something: I can't remove all my memories, especially of when I was younger and didn't look like this, okay? So when you perform the spell, you might catch some images of me when I'm not, um, looking like I do now, understand?"

Harry nodded, suddenly nervous.

"Now, not to blow my own horn or anything, but I'm pretty good at Occlumency," Joanna said with a wry grin, "so don't get too discouraged when you aren't able to break into my mind. After a while, you might be able to, but today's your first try so don't give up. Okay, are you ready?"

Harry nodded again, now somewhat terrified.

Joanna smiled again, raising her wand. "All righty, then. When you're ready."

Harry gulped and raised his wand. "One...two...three--Legilimens!"

Several memories flashed in Harry's head before a huge wave of water descended upon him and prevented him from seeing anything else, forcefully expelling him from Joanna's mind.

Panting, Harry stumbled and fell against the wall.

"That was good, Harry," Joanna said a little breathlessly. "You were able to see something, which is quite the feat, all things considered. If I may ask, what did you see?"

Harry shook his head. "Not much, really. Mostly just flashes of light. It looked like wand fire."

"Hmm," she said, pursing her lips. "Let's try making it a little bit easier for you, just for now. I want you to concentrate on a single person when you're using Legilimency this time. That way, you'll kind of know what you're looking for in advance and won't have to go through a bunch of useless memories in order to get there. How's that sound?"

"Er, do you really think that's such a good idea?" Harry asked.

"I'm not worried," Joanna said offhandedly. "Go on, it won't hurt to try."

"All right," Harry said doubtfully. All of the sudden there was only one person he could think of and before he could change his mind, he cried, "Legilimens!"

Perhaps it was because he had caught her off guard, or maybe it was because of who he chose to see, but this time Harry was able to witness a lot more: his godfather, Sirius Black, kissing a curly-haired brunette; Sirius and the girl riding on his motorcycle; Sirius in an street with the same girl again, only this time they were surrounded by Death Eaters--

"STOP!" Joanna shrieked; once again, a wall of water surged and Harry found himself falling out of Professor Kent's mind and onto the cold stone floor.

Breathing heavily, Harry looked up and saw Joanna bending over with her hands on her knees, shaking.

"Was that girl you?" Harry asked softly. Joanna looked up sharply and, after a brief moment, nodded. "Why were you surrounded by Death Eaters?"

Harry saw Joanna clench and unclench his fists. "It's personal," she said softly, and Harry was surprised to hear that she was not angry, only sad.

"I'm sorry," he said, suddenly feeling quite ashamed of himself. "I'm really sorry--"

"Harry, hush," Joanna said sharply. "Don't apologize. I was just caught off guard...I wasn't...It was just unexpected, is all. Please don't say you're sorry."

The two were silent for a long time when Harry spoke again. "I miss him," he whispered.

Joanna froze. She never thought in a million years that Harry would ever talk about Sirius, much less to her, a woman he barely knew. She wanted to say something, anything, but somewhere deep inside she knew it would be best if she just let him talk.

"Were you--were you his, er, girlfriend?" he asked, looking at everything but her and blushing profusely.

Flushing faintly herself, she said, "Um...it's complicated."

"Explain it to me."

Joanna blinked and sat down. "We dated, yes, only a little while we were at Hogwarts. We were mostly just good friends." ...with benefits, her mind added guiltily.

Harry found himself smiling a little. As much as it hurt to think about his godfather, another part of him desperately wanted to hear more about the man.

"Oh..." Harry chewed on the inside of his mouth. "Did you love him?"

Joanna snapped her head up and he saw that she was blinking rapidly. "Very much so, yes, but not in the way you think."

Harry's smile grew a little as his heart both clenched and swelled at the same time. An absurd thought swam through his head: he was suffering, but he was happy about it.

"Thank you," he said softly. "For just...just letting...for just letting me see--see that. Thank you for not...pushing me, or anything...I dunno," Harry flushed. "Just...thank you."

"You're welcome, Harry," Joanna said softly. "I think we're done for tonight, unless you want to talk about anything else?"

Harry smiled wanly and shook his head. "No...no, I'm--goodnight, then."

Joanna grinned and ran a hand through her hair. "Goodnight, Harry," she said softly, and if Harry hadn't been preoccupied with his own thoughts he would've heard the sadness in her voice.

*~*~*~*

"QUIET!" Severus bellowed. Immediately, all the talking ceased and the students in the front hall stared at Severus, Joanna, and a few other teachers, slightly frightened.

"Form a line," he barked, and the seventeen-year-olds swiftly obeyed.

"You sure do have a way with people, Professor Snape," Joanna smirked. He scowled.

"This is ridiculous," Severus muttered as he, Joanna, and the other professors led the group of teenagers down to Hogsmeade so that they could participate in voting for the new Minister of Magic. "I have much more important things to be doing right now."

"Oh, I dunno," said Joanna, fighting the urge to smile as the line the students had formed not moments ago slowly morphed into a blob. "Any excuse to go to Hogsmeade is fine by me."

Severus snorted but said nothing else.

If he was looking for silence, however, he was sorely mistaken, as Joanna continued rambling.

"Who are you going to vote for?" she asked, occasionally turning around every to make sure the students hadn't disappeared.

"I'm not," he replied shortly.

Joanna looked at him in surprise. "Why ever not? I would think, what with everything that happened with Fudge, that you'd be more than willing to vote him out of office."

Severus shrugged. "I have my priorities."

Joanna rolled her eyes. 'Priorities' my foot.

"Well, I'm not voting for Fudge, that's for damn sure," she said savagely. "Never did like the man..."

The glazed look in Severus's eyes told her everything: he wasn't listening to her.

Bloody overgrown bat, she thought, pursing her lips.

"When will they announce the winner?" she asked in a raised voice, pulling him from his thoughts.

"Tonight, at 7:01 pm, after they've finished tallying the votes," he replied curtly, and then immediately retreated into his own little world.

"Fine, be that way," Joanna muttered to herself. "Oh, while everyone's voting I told an old friend that I'd meet up with him in the Three Broomsticks for a brief chat. I already discussed it with the Headmaster and he approved, so I hope that's okay with you."

Severus gave her a belligerent look. "Fine with me," he said shortly, though he looked annoyed.

Please don't ask who I'm meeting with, please don't ask who I'm meeting with, please don't--

"With whom are you meeting?"

Bugger!

"Just a member of our little club," she said, giving him a pointed look.

"Ah," was all he said, clenching his jaw.

The group finally reached Hogsmeade, and Joanna and Severus instructed the teenagers of the rules of the election and whatnot. They also told them, in no uncertain terms, that this was not a Hogsmeade visit and if a student was caught prancing about the town, he or she would be given detention and sent back to school.

Twenty minutes later, and after casting her own vote, Joanna found herself in the Three Broomsticks, anxiously bobbing her leg up and down as she waited for the other half of her party to arrive.

"What can I get for you?" asked Madam Rosmerta, surprising Joanna by seeming to appear out of thin air.

"Er, some tea would be great," Joanna replied. "I have a friend coming shortly, too, though I don't know what he'd want--"

"Tea would be lovely," said a gentle, lilting voice. Remus strolled up to the table and plunked himself into the empty chair. "Hello, Rosmerta," he said with a small smile.

"Why, Remus Lupin!" she said. "I haven't seen you in a few years. What are you doing here in Hogsmeade?"

"Just visiting an old friend," Remus answered, gazing steadily at Joanna, who felt a blush creep up her neck.

"Well, that's lovely," mused Rosmerta. "Tea it is, then. Be back in a moment."

A few minutes later, Joanna and Remus were sipping their tea and sitting in a vaguely uncomfortable silence.

"So...what is it that I can do for you, Remus?" Joanna asked, getting a bit antsy.

The werewolf chuckled softly while helping himself to copious amounts of sugar. "Nothing, really. Just wanted to catch up with you, I s'pose," he said, avoiding her eyes.

"Ah," she said lamely, drinking her tea and trying to think of something to say.

"How are your classes going?" he asked, taking a sip of his tea, grimacing, and then adding more sugar.

"Wonderful," she said with a smile. "I love teaching, even if a few of the students here are...well, you know, a bit special."

Remus gave her a wry smile. "Ah, yes, I remembered. How are Harry's Occlumency lessons going?"

Joanna smile broadened. "They're going great, a lot better now that he's actually learning Occlumency and not just having to fight off Legilimency."

"Is that how Snape taught it?" Remus asked innocently, though Joanna could already tell where this conversation was going.

"From what Dumbledore told me, and from how Harry originally responded to Occlumency, then yes," she said. "That's how Severus tried to teach me all those years ago, anyway."

Remus cleared his throat. "And how are things going between you and Sna--er, Severus?"

Here we go. "Fine, I suppose," she said casually. "Why?"

Remus studied her for several minutes and Joanna shifted numerous times under his heavy stare. "Do you think it wise to be in a relationship with him at this point in time?" he asked suddenly.

Joanna scowled. "I would hardly call him kissing me once and us going out on one date constitutes a relationship," she said waspishly.

Remus raised an eyebrow, his lip curling. "He kissed you?"

"Yes," she replied tartly.

Remus leaned back in his chair, his eyebrows raised, with a look of utter disbelief on his face. "I didn't think that he was capable of that."

Despite it all, Joanna laughed into her teacup. "Neither did I. It certainly caught me off guard, that's for damn sure."

"When did this happen?" Remus inquired, trying to keep the incredulity from his voice.

"A few weeks before term started, I recall," she said.

Remus wrinkled his nose. "Sirius would've been horrified."

Joanna started. What was with everything talking about Sirius all of a sudden?

"Perhaps..." she said quietly, staring at a stain on the table but not really seeing it at all. Remus was right. Sirius would bust a nut if he knew that Severus had kissed her...if he were still alive...

Stop thinking about that, she hissed inwardly.

"He's not good enough for you," Remus blurted out and then flushed a bright red.

Startled, Joanna stared at him in surprise. "And why is that, Remus?" she said curiously.

Remus sighed heavily and stared into his now empty teacup. He then looked up with her and gave her a dry smile. "Because it's Snape for Christ's sakes. Besides, he doesn't like you for you. He likes this Joanna person."

"He likes me for me," she said, and then winced at how whiny her voice sounded. "He just doesn't know it because he's blinded by how I look. If he paid any real attention he'd be able to tell who I truly was in a heart beat." She then sighed; she seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. "He's suffering from a serious case of denial...Anyway, Remus, I think I know the real reason why you came to see me today."

"Oh?" he asked, smiling at her bemusedly.

Joanna nodded seriously. "Oh, definitely. Could spot it a mile away."

"Pray tell," he said with a chuckle, taking a sip from his refilled teacup.

"You're sexually frustrated, of course."

Remus choked, spilling half of the tea down the front of his robes, and gave her an alarmed look. "What?" he said hoarsely.

Joanna grinned wickedly and leaned back in her chair. "How long's it been, Remus? Four years?"

Remus gulped audibly. "Five. How did you know that?"

"I think you forget whom you're dealing with," Joanna said with a glint in her eye. "I think that's why you came to me, isn't it?"

Remus shook his head, then stopped midway. "Well...the thought had crossed my mind..."

"What," said Joanna, "that I'd up and shag you?"

"No!" he exclaimed, looking frightened. "No, I didn't mean it like that at all. It's just, well, and there're no women...and you're a woman, and a good friend, at least we used to be and--date! That's all, a date--"

"Remus," Joanna interrupted, "calm down."

The werewolf blushed and ducked his head.

"Now, I don't understand," she said thoughtfully. "There are plenty of women out there, as I do recall. Why exactly can't you get a date, again?"

Remus shot her a withering look. "Have you forgotten about my condition?"

"I would think you of all people would know that I'd never forget. I literally cannot," Joanna said, arching an eyebrow at him.

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was getting long again. It always got long when he was depressed and suffice to say, it was long a lot these days.

"What about Evee?" Joanna suggested.

"Emmeline? She's a lovely woman..."

"But?"

Remus shrugged. "She deserves better than what I have to offer."

Joanna rolled her eyes. "You know perfectly well she doesn't care about the lycanthropy. She's a terrific person, Remus. I would know--I lived with her for seven years."

"I think she's dating someone, anyway," Remus said, shrugging again.

"Hestia Jones, then."

"Engaged."

"Starla Sinistra."

"Was in Slytherin."

"That's a ridiculous reason not to date someone, Remus. 'Was in Slytherin,' honestly. How about Mary-Elizabeth Fucilla?"

"Now Mary-Elizabeth Belperche."

"Oh...Belinda Worthington?"

"In the States."

"Merissa Honeysuckle."

"Married Aidan Callahan."

"Really. Wow. Hmm...Rose Sothernby?"

"Lesbian. Honestly, Mi--Joanna, how do you remember all those people?"

"Just thinking of who was in the Charm Club way back when," she said with a smirk. "I dunno. I'm running out of names. Oh! What about that nice girl I met at Headquarters, er, what's her face...Tonks! That's right, Andromeda's little girl. What was her first name?"

"Nymphadora. She's twenty-four," Remus said dully. "Trifle bit younger than I am."

"Oh, please," Joanna scoffed. "So what? She seemed delightful when I met her. Don't know about the hair, though..."

"She's a Metamorphmagus," Remus supplied.

Joanna's eyes widened. "Seriously? Cool." She then grinned evilly. "A Metamorph and a werewolf. Now there's a combination."

"We're hardly a combination," Remus muttered, blushing. "I'm way too old for her."

Joanna scoffed again. "By what, twelve years? That's hardly old, Remus. You're not old because that would make me old and I don't want to even think about that yet. You should give it a go. You need to get laid."

"For Merlin's sake, keep your voice down," Remus spluttered indignantly.

"Oh, did I embarrass you?" she asked, biting her lip to keep from laughing. "Perhaps Rosmerta would be willing to, ah, help you out, if you comprehend what I'm articulating." Joanna winked suggestively.

"All right, all right!" Remus hissed. "Perhaps--perhaps--I have a small, nearly infinitesimal thing for Tonks. That doesn't mean I'm going to act on it. She deserves better--"

"--'than what I have to offer,'" Joanna finished for him. "You know that's not true, don't you?" she said sadly. "You're a wonderful man, Remus. And right handsome, too."

Remus sighed and threw his head back, staring at the ceiling. "That's what Lily used to say."

Joanna eyed him closely. "She loved you, you know." Remus looked at her sharply. "Maybe...maybe not like how she loved James, but she loved you nonetheless. You should talk to Tonks, tell her how you feel."

"Last time I told a woman that I loved her, she went off and married my best friend," he said somewhat bitterly and finishing off his tea-flavored sugar.

Joanna didn't really know what to say to that. She had known about Remus's love for Lily long before he even did. She had always been able to tell.

"Give it a shot, Remus," she said quietly.

He laughed, though there was no humor to be found there. "Thanks for meeting up with me, ah, Jo," he said, standing up and pulling on his cloak.

"You're leaving?" she asked, surprised, and also standing up.

He gave her a dry smile. "Got to go back to Headquarters, haven't I? Need to speak with a Metamorph, I reckon."

Joanna smiled sadly. "Good luck."

"Thanks," he mumbled, looking at his shoes. "See you at the next, ah, meeting then. Oh, and Jo?"

"Yeah?"

Remus hesitated. "Be...be careful with Severus. You were gone for a long time. He's not the same person he used to be. Actually, he's exactly like he used to be, only more...bitter, I s'pose. Are you ever going to tell him about...you know?" He waved his hand vaguely at her.

"I dunno," she said. "Probably someday soon, maybe. I'll know when. Thanks for everything, Remus. Good bye."

She and Remus exchanged a brief hug and he exited the pub, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

*~*~*~*

Remus Apparated to the steps of number twelve, Grimmauld Place and let out the loud sigh of frustration that he'd been holding in ever since he left the Three Broomsticks.

It was pathetic, really, he thought, that he couldn't even get a date with a woman he had once dated. Granted, it had been in fifth year, but still...

Halting his train of thought, Remus tapped his wand against the door and walked through the threshold. He hated this house. He hated it more than Sirius ever could have because for Remus, it was a constant reminder that he was the only one of the Marauders alive, Peter not withstanding, and how he, Remus, had lost his last link to his old life.

So when Mi--Joanna came roaring back, Remus felt a sort of relief. He wasn't alone anymore. Perhaps that's why he went to see her today. Maybe it wasn't because he wanted to go out on a date with her (or even to see if the rumors about her and Snape were true); maybe he just wanted to grab hold of that last piece of the old life and never let go...

Letting out another frustrated noise, Remus closed the door, turned around, and ran straight into a pair of breasts.

Sputtering, Remus backed up quickly and he felt his entire face going red. It still annoyed him to no end that after all these years he could still blush like a schoolboy.

"Tonks," he croaked. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Sorry," she whispered with a grin that clearly said that she was not sorry at all. "I heard the door open but no one came out of the hall, so I came to you. Why were you just standing there?"

"No reason," he said, quickly regaining his composure. "Just thinking. Care to join me for some tea?"

Bloody hell, man, you just drank a pot full at the pub!

Shut up, Remus inwardly snapped.

"Sure," Tonks grinned, and the two made their way to the kitchen. "Just got back from duty," she said. "I'm exhausted but I do have something to present at the Order meeting next week. Where were you?"

Remus walked over to the stove and began to boil some water while Tonks situated herself in a chair, propping her feet up on the table. Remus couldn't help but note that her hair was long, straight and a light golden brown today. Her natural look.

"I went to Hogsmeade to meet up with someone," he replied. Oh, yeah, and to solicit her for sex, too. But she turned me down because she can't touch me without feeling the need to vomit. Not that that's her fault.

"Who'd you meet?" Tonks asked, trying to keep her voice light.

"Joanna Kent," he said without thinking. "We had something to discuss."

It was silent for many seconds before Tonks said, "Oh." She shifted in her seat. "She's--she's a nice woman."

Remus nodded absently. "I went to school with her, though she was in Ravenclaw," he said, placing the hot water on the table and fetching some mugs. "I suppose I just wanted to catch up with her...I hadn't seen her in years."

Tonks cleared her throat. "That's, er, nice." She cleared her throat again and said, very quickly, "Did you use to date her?"

Remus smiled slightly and put tea bags in the cups. "Briefly, and I mean briefly. Sirius's jealously got too annoying so we just remained good friends."

Tonks cocked her head to the side. "Sirius fancied her?"

"Er, sort of," he said, spooning some sugar into his tea. "They had a complicated relationship that bordered between siblings and, uh," he coughed, "sex partners, as odd and disturbing as that sounds. Sirius was very protective of her. She was one of very few people who he would actually listen to, but even that usually depended on his mood."

Tonks furrowed her brow. "Why was he so protective of her if he didn't fancy her or something like that?"

Remus smiled into his cup. "Like I said, it was complicated. But one reason was because she was very good friends with a man James and Sirius hated with a passion--"

"Oh, please don't tell me it's Snape," Tonks groaned, and Remus chuckled.

"The one and only," he said.

"Why--how could anyone be friends with that man?" she asked, wrinkling her nose.

"Trust me, there was a reason," Remus replied. "But like I said, she was friends with Snape--for various reasons--so Sirius felt the need to protect her because, according to him at least, everyone needed protecting from 'the greasy git.' However, something happened at the end of our fifth year between Joanna and Snape that ruined their friendship, so she and Sirius became an on-again, off-again couple. She also never told us what happened between her and Snape either."

"So after you all left school, is that when she and Sirius started...you know." She made a rude hand gesture that caused Remus to blush, and Tonks grinned. She loved doing that.

"Er, I, ah, have no idea when they started doing, uh, that," he stammered, willing his blush to die down. Tonks grinned again and nodded, but her smile faded shortly thereafter and she started fidgeting in her seat.

"I went there to ask her out on a date but she declined and instead ended up giving me advice," Remus blurted hurriedly, feeling another blush work its way up his neck.

Tonks stopped squirming and blinked a coupled of times. "Oh," was all she said and Remus saw some pink patches spreading on her cheeks. "Why--why'd she refuse?"

Remus swallowed thickly. "She is, um, adversely affected by my condition. The longer she is around me, the more difficult it is for her to control...things. Touching me for a long period of time is out of the question."

Tonks face got very red. "What, she won't date you because you're a werewolf?" she asked incredulously. "That's ridiculous!" She stood up suddenly. "I'm gonna go have a little chat with that tart--"

Remus rose quickly and grabbed Tonks's arm. "It's not her fault," he said softly. "Nor is it her choice. She doesn't care that I'm a werewolf, not in the least."

He felt Tonks's posture slacken but he did not remove his hand from his arm.

"Oh..." she murmured. What seemed like hours passed and Remus still held onto her. He liked the way her smooth skin felt beneath his roughened hands.

"Remus?" she said huskily, jolting him out of his musings, and he nearly groaned as all the blood in his body rushed south and the temperature of the room skyrocketed.

"Yeah?" he asked hoarsely.

Tonks bit her lip and Remus felt himself grow even more aroused, if that were possible. She was looking at him with such trusting and beautiful eyes that Remus wanted to promise her the world.

Either that or throw her on the table and shag her into oblivion.

"Will--will you do something for me?" she asked in a near whisper.

"Sure," he croaked. They were standing incredibly close and Remus, with his acute werewolf senses, could tell that she smelled of sweat and woman and strawberries--oh fuck, he loved strawberries--and he wanted her. He wanted everything about her.

"Will you kiss me?" she whispered, her eyes still boring into his, and Remus closed his eyes, willing himself not to spontaneously combust on the spot.

Without answering, for he was sure that he'd mess it up somehow, Remus cupped her face in his hand, bent down, and kissed her chastely on the lips.

He pulled back slightly but kept his face only a few centimeters from hers. Tonks's eyes were closed, her mouth slightly opened and her cheeks flushed, and Remus was sure he'd never seen anything so beautiful in his life.

"I can do better than that," he said softly. Tonks's eyes flew open in surprise but before she could say anything, Remus's lips were on her again, kissing her hard.

She moaned loudly and collapsed against his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck. He enveloped her body with his long arms and pulled her flush against himself, finally allowing Tonks to feel how much Remus wanted her.

Spurred on by this, Tonks opened her mouth slightly and brushed her tongue against his bottom lip, eliciting a groan from Remus, who immediately opened his mouth and began massaging his tongue against her lips, her mouth, her tongue...

Pleasure filled Remus's mouth and Tonks gasped a little when Remus's hands began to rub up and down her body until finally settling on her arse. He squeezed and kneaded her and Remus felt a jolt of electricity shoot its way through her body and settle in his groin.

"Oh God," she gasped when she pulled away. Remus was panting, his eyes closed, and he leaned his forehead against hers.

"That was some kiss," Tonks purred and Remus grinned sheepishly. He definitely owed a huge thank you to Joanna.

*~*~*~*

"So how are Potter's Occlumency lessons going," Severus sneered one day in the staff room in late November while reading the Daily Prophet's articles on the recent election of Amelia Bones as Minister of Magic.

"Oh, brilliant," Joanna replied distractedly. She was grading a large stack of seventh year Potions essays and nibbling on some chocolates Remus had sent her a week ago. "He's quite talented, you know. It's fascinating, to be perfectly honest, how powerful he is."

Severus snorted. "I highly doubt that. He is exactly like his father," he said scathingly.

"Mmm, you think so?" Joanna said, preoccupied. "I always thought he was a little bit more like his mother."

"He is nothing like Lily," Severus snapped. "He is an arrogant fool who struts around like school like his father did, completely disregarding all the rules, yet still somehow managing to get away with murder--"

"I know of others who have gotten away with murder," Joanna said slowly, giving him a cold look. "Wouldn't you agree, Severus?"

The fury in his eyes was unmistakable but before he could respond, a large rattle from a nearby wardrobe grabbed their attention. Both teachers rose from their seats and immediately drew their wands.

"What was that?" Joanna asked in a hushed voice.

"It could be a boggart," said Snape through his teeth. "There was one in here a few years ago when the werewolf was teaching. Figures he couldn't even manage to get rid of a simple bog--"

"Oh, let me get my violin!" Joanna said loudly, ignoring his scowl. "Would you like to get rid of it, or shall I?"

Snape looked apprehensively at the door and appeared to be chewing his tongue. Understanding why he would be reluctant, Joanna nodded to him and moved closer to the door.

"Now, the last time I encountered a boggart, I was in England," she told him, scooting closer to the door. "So it's been a while. Hopefully, it won't be the same. I don't fancy having a bunch of cockroaches crawling all over me again," she finished with a shudder. She hated bugs.

Joanna reached the wardrobe and after casting Severus an anxious look, threw the door open. She then promptly screamed. The boggart didn't turn into bugs anymore. Instead, it took on the form of a Death Eater.

It was Lucius Malfoy.

All rational thought flew out the window the moment she laid eyes on him.

"NO! Get away from me!" she shrieked, aiming her wand as she backed up and fell over a chair. "Get away from me!"

The Lucius boggart strode forward and smirked at her, one hand unbuttoning his shirt while the other one slowly lowered the zipper of his trousers. Sobbing, Joanna attempted to get off the ground, but the boggart kicked her hand, sending her wand flying across the room.

"Please..." she begged uselessly.

"Riddikulus!" bellowed a strong voice. The boggart immediately changed into a young handsome man with dark hair and pitiless green eyes. "Riddikulus!" the voice boomed again, causing the boggart to explode, and Joanna knew no more.

*~*~*~*

Joanna came around a few minutes later to see Professor Dumbledore peering down at her, concern written across his face.

"What happened?" she asked thickly; her tongue felt like it was made of cotton.

"It was a boggart," he said simply. Holding out his hand, Dumbledore pulled her to her feet with surprising strength.

"Was that man your boggart?" she asked. "That is your biggest fear?"

"What did you see?" he asked softly.

"A young man with black hair and green eyes..." Joanna's mouth drooped as the realization dawned on her. "That was Harry! You're afraid that Harry might turn out like Voldemort or into another Dark wizard?" Dumbledore nodded gravely and looked immensely sad for a moment.

"But that'll never happen to him," Joanna said reassuringly. "He's got too much good in him; he's got too much Lily in him for that to happen...Where's Severus?" she asked abruptly.

"Right here," he said in a cold, hard voice. Whipping around, she found herself face to face with his nose.

"Interesting boggart you've got there," he said dangerously, taking a step closer to her.

"What do you mean?" she asked weakly, unconsciously stepping backwards.

"How do you know Lucius Malfoy?" he snarled, still advancing on her. "Considering that you've been in France for a good fifteen years and he is at least six years your senior and he was in Slytherin and--"

"And he's a Death Eater!" Joanna shrieked. "Just like you!" Severus stopped dead in his tracks and it looked like he wanted nothing better to do than to slap her across the face. It wouldn't be the first time.

"You are treading on dangerous grounds, Professor Kent," he hissed.

"You want to know how I know Lucius fucking Malfoy?" Joanna screeched, gesturing wildly. "FINE! I'll tell you--he raped me! For six goddamn months, he raped me. He'd come to my cell, silence me, tie me up, hit me, and do whatever sick, twisted thing he wanted to and then he'd fuck me, OKAY? Are you happy now, Severus? Are you?"

Snape and Dumbledore stared at her; Severus looked both angry and horrified, whereas Dumbledore looked distressed.

"How--?" Snape sputtered, sounding uncharacteristically bewildered. "When...?"

"When I was being held prisoner at Troudemort," she spat, glaring at him. "Six months before the fall of Voldemort. Your best friend obviously didn't get what he needed from Narcissa."

"You are lying," he said through clenched teeth. "That was the only prisoner camp during the first war and very few lived to talk about it, and I can guarantee that no one named Joanna Kent was ever held there!"

"No, but there was a MILAH JOANNA KENSINGTON!" she exploded.

Time stood still at that moment as Severus took in what she had said and comprehension dawned on his face. He stared at her, mouth open, shaking his head and stepping away from her, stumbling slightly on a chair behind him.

"No--" he croaked. Joanna had never before seen him look so disconcerted. "You can't be--"

"I assure you I am," she said coldly. Turning, she faced Professor Dumbledore and gave him a look. It was time. Nodding, he raised his wand, pointed it at her chest, and muttered an incantation. Her hair began to lengthen and turned a dark shade of brown; where her hair was once straight and thin, it was now thick and curly. Her nose was no longer long but shorter, now, and slightly upturned at the end (something she had always hated) and her lips became more fleshy and red. If she were to smile, she would show off brilliant white teeth.

Her eyes, however, were the most to change. They were almond-shaped, now, and a deep, rich brown. They were eyes Severus knew all too well. He stared at the woman he in a state of shock as a series of memories overwhelmed him...inundated him...smothered him...

Severus stalked down the hall, dragging the limp body of Caradoc Dearborn behind him. The Auror was approaching death and Severus didn't have much time left; he had to find her.

There was even more bedlam when he got to the dungeons; no one knew what to do. Their Dark Marks were on fire but they couldn't find their Master--it was as if he'd disappeared. Severus knew some of his faithful followers were heading to Godric's Hollow while others were going to look for the Longbottoms. Still more were searching for the spy who had informed the Lord of the Potters' whereabouts. Severus, however, was going straight to one person: Milah.

She was in cell number 630, in solitary confinement. He'd only visited her once before, but that had hardly been pleasant. She had screamed at him, called him a bastard--among other things--and had told him that she hated him.

He hated himself too.

Upon reaching his destination, he muttered "Alohomora," and threw Dearborn unceremoniously into the cell.

Severus raised his hooded face and looked straight into her beautifully defiant brown eyes. He knew that she knew that it was he. They could always tell.

Her hollow eyes stayed on his before flickering down to Dearborn. Giving a muffled sob, she crawled over to where the Auror lay and checked for a pulse. A single tear fell down her cheek when she found his faint heartbeat; he was still barely alive, only Stunned. She hadn't seen Caradoc since he went missing over a year ago. Everyone had assumed that he had died.

"Why are you here?" she whispered, not even attempting to cover the anguish in her voice nor looking him in the face.

"Something's happened," Severus replied shortly. "We cannot find the Dark Lord. He went after the Potters tonight but he has disappeared. The Death Eaters are killing all the prisoners to get rid of the evidence. You will be disposed of soon."

Milah raised her eyes and stared at him; they were completely blank. He shuddered. Clearing his throat, he continued, "I've come to get you out of here. Dearborn, here, is going to replace you."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, emotionlessly.

"I've been working as a spy for Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix for the past five months, Milah," he said softly, anxiously looking over his shoulder for any signs of Malfoy. "I've come to get you out of here before the others come for you."

"Why?"

It was a simple question, really, but he did not answer. He could not answer. Instead, he pulled out his wand and pointed it at her, biting his lip when he saw her wince.

"I would never harm you," he murmured before Transfiguring her rags into Death Eater robes. Another sob escaped her throat.

Striding over to where she stood shaking by the wall, he gently plucked a hair from her head. He then made his way back over to Dearborn. Severus pointed his wand at the Auror and muttered, "Ennervate." The young man's pale green eyes fluttered open. "What--?"

"Shut up and drink this," Severus barked, thrusting a vial full of a thick lumpy liquid that smelled strongly of cabbages into the man's face.

"Fuck you," Dearborn spat.

Severus thrust his wand into the Auror's throat and snarled, "If you do not drink this potion I will kill you on the spot, do you understand me?"

Dearborn glared at Severus with pure hatred. He then grabbed the vial from Snape's hand and chugged the disgusting potion. The transformation began immediately and Caradoc's well-defined masculinity melted into Milah's soft curves.

"What are you doing?" Milah asked softly.

Severus ignored her question. "Come on, we've only got an hour before he changes back. Put your mask on, be quiet, and follow me."

Severus and Milah walked side-by-side down the dark corridor with Caradoc in front of them, Snape's wand pointed in his back.

"Hurry," hissed Severus. "One more level and we will be on the ground floor. Once we are outside, it will be just you and me."

"What about Caradoc?" she asked blankly, gazing mournfully at the passing cells.

"He is already dead," Severus said, staring hard at her. Milah closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She looked lifeless, as if a dementor had been following her around for the past six months; she appeared to have no energy to argue, to defend the young Auror, to beg for his life, when she herself could barely defend herself.

They had finally reached the ground floor only to find it was utter chaos. Death Eaters were running back and forth like a horde of ants without their queen. Their master had gone missing.

"What is she doing out of her cell?" bellowed a voice to their left.

"Lucius Malfoy wished to see to her end personally," Severus lied in a frighteningly cold voice. "I am merely following his orders."

"Yeah, well, I just saw Mr. Malfoy not ten minutes ago and he was on his way to the dungeons to get her," the Death Eater said, narrowing his eyes.

Severus's eyes betrayed no emotion when he raised his wand and said, in a very calm voice, "Obliviate!" The man's eyes glazed over and he stood there stupidly in the middle of the room.

"Come on," said Severus, shoving Dearborn through the front door.

Death. Death was what they saw when they entered the courtyard. Bodies were strewn out all over the place. A lone grey owl flew in the sky. Milah felt sick, like she was going to throw up. She had known some of these people; they had been in the Order. Others had gone to Hogwarts with her.

"Faster," hissed Severus. "I told Nott I was going to assist Bella in finding the Longbottoms, so no one will question me when we leave."

"You won't find the Longbottoms," Caradoc spat, still looking like Milah. "They're under the Fidelius Charm."

"So were the Potters and look where that got them!" snapped Severus.

Milah stopped walking. "W-what?"

Severus eyed her through his mask. "Nothing," he said harshly. "Come on. We're almost free--"

"Snape!" Severus froze and cursed under his breath as Milah clenched her hands into fists; she could feel her nails digging into her palms, breaking skin.

"I've been looking for her," drawled Malfoy, giving the fake-Milah a feral look. "I wanted to see her one last time before I disposed of her. You don't mind, do you, Severus?"

"Of course not," Severus scoffed, but Milah could feel the anger pouring off him. Malfoy, whose face was not covered by a mask, smiled wickedly.

"Actually," he said after a moment, "I've had my fill of her. Why don't you do the honors of killing her. I know how much you hate her."

"Lucius," said Snape, giving a ridiculous bow, "I would never dream of taking that privilege away from you. Besides, you know it would be almost impossible for me to harm her."

Malfoy stared at Severus long and hard before a maniacal smile broke out on his face. "If you do not kill her, I will make you. Do it. Now."

Milah saw Severus's jaw clench, even through the mask, and she felt herself getting light headed...she wanted to sleep...she wanted to see Lily and James and Sirius again...

Severus stood immobile for a long time before coming to a decision. It would not have been the first time he killed, nor would it be the last.

He raised his wand and pointed it at Dearborn, whose eyes--Milah's eyes--widened in horror.

"Wait--!" he croaked, holding up his hands, but Snape barely heard him over the buzzing in his ears; Milah was going to faint any minute now and it would be no good if a Death Eater passed out in the middle of the courtyard.

"Avada Kedavra," Snape hissed, willing the Auror to die. A brilliant flash of green light poured out of Severus's wand and hit Caradoc straight in the chest. The look of surprise was still on his face--Milah's face--when he crumpled to the ground. Bodies always stayed in their Polyjuice form after death...

According to the Wizarding world, Milah Kensington, the Heir of Ravenclaw, was dead.

Severus sunk to his knees and stared vacantly in front of him. Joanna fell down to her knees as well. "Severus? Talk to me; say anything. Yell at me. I don't care. Just say something!"

"Why didn't you just tell me you'd come back?" he asked quietly, though his eyes were hard.

Joanna glanced anxiously at Dumbledore, who nodded slightly. "Professor Dumbledore did not think it would be advisable to reveal myself too soon. I agreed. I-I wanted you to get used to me being around again...I didn't want you to-to get hurt. I'm sorry, Severus," she whispered.

He tore his eyes away from the floor and gazed at her steadily. "I need time," he said evenly.

Joanna knew better; it was merely the calm before the storm. "As you wish," she said quietly, "but when you see me again, I will look like I did before, as Joanna Kent."

Severus nodded and rose up off the floor. "If you'll excuse me."

He strode out the door before anyone had a chance to answer.

Joanna looked at Dumbledore and for the second time in so many weeks, she found herself sobbing in his arms.

~*~