Fred and George's Guide to Snogging

Afterword: A Cautionary Tale

Though it is true that we have put out a book leading you along your path to snogging mastery, we must enforce the fact that, as the book is named, these are merely supposed to be a guide. Interpreting its word literaly may lead to mishaps, but so may disregarding its wisdom entirely. We have had our fair share of snogging trials and tribulations, mostly involving two persons with the initials AJ and AS, who, to preserve their dignity we shall not further name. But, as a cautionary tale to those of you who would flout our judgment and go on your merry snogging way, allow us to unfold a cautionary parable.

There was once a Hogwarts student with the initials PW who was very fond of another Hogwarts student, PC. Now, one day, PW decided to ignore the advice of his witty, intelligent, meritorious brothers FW and GW, and snog PC in an empty classroom. Now, you will notice that empty classrooms were not included in the list of places to snog in Chapter 4: Tips for the Advanced Snogger. This is because empty classrooms can become full classrooms very quickly.

Now, PW and PC were snogging in a classroom, when who should walk in but PMM, their Transfiguration professor and the head of PW's house. Naturally, PMM was aghast at what she saw, not only because she was shocked at the behavior, but because she always thought of PW as the greatest prude who ever walked the earth. However, her amazement could not overtake PMM's anger, and she gave him a good, sound talking to, making sure that all of the students who were now filling the hallway behind her could hear what PW had been caught doing.

The moral of the story, gentle reader, is never snog in empty classrooms, never ignore the advice of your witty, intelligent, and meritorious brothers, and never get caught doing anything but homework by PMM if you'd like to keep your dignity.

And just remember, kids, be careful who you snog. Snogging often leads to shagging, which can lead to a whole lot more than you want it to.

Happy snogging,

Fred and George Weasley

Reviews for Fred and George's Guide to Snogging:

"You selfish little prats, how dare you put that story of Penelope and I in your rubbish book? I'll have you know it was quite an embarrassing moment that I shan't tolerate the spreading of. When I tell Mother about this she'll skin the two of you alive. 'A cautionary tale,' for God's sake..." ~Percival Ignatius Weasley, Ministry of Magic

"Well that was certainly an interesting bit of bullshit." ~Bill Weasley, Gringotts Bank

"The publication that brought tears to the emerald eyes of Harry Potter as he thought of how much his parents must have enjoyed snogging before they were tragically killed by You-Know-Who." ~Rita Skeeter, The Daily Prophet

"Erm...interesting and...informative. I suppose I'd say I know a bit more about snogging now than I did before. I don't know as I'd ever really try it out, though."~Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor