Crucio

Chapter 22: Breaking the Surface

Harry sat up and rubbed his eyes with his fists a few times. "How long was I asleep?" he asked groggily.

"Five hours."

Harry sighed as he sat up.

"How do you feel?" Sirius asked. Harry shrugged. It hadn't been a particularly restful sleep. Sirius dropped onto the mattress next to Harry, heaving an identical sigh. "Do you feel rested at all?" he asked, narrowing his eyes as he studied Harry's face.

"I feel like I didn't sleep enough," Harry admitted, "but I do feel better. Too bad Snape didn't think of it sooner."

Sirius didn't answer; he was gazing at Harry, his lips pressed together.

Harry's eyebrows came together as he considered his godfather worriedly. "Are you all right?" he asked, scooting forward.

Sirius' face softened. "Just thinking," he reassured with a smile which was full of affection. Harry smiled back at him and slouched a little, resting his chin in his propped palm.

"I don't think it'll make much difference if I try to merge the two realities from this one," he murmured, returning to the topic they'd been discussing earlier.

"It may not."

"But we need to explore every possibility," Harry finished Sirius' sentence.

"Come on," Sirius encouraged, standing up and offering his godson a hand. Harry took it and allowed himself to be pulled off the bed.

"Snape seemed really angry before I came here."

Sirius glanced at him as they made their way down the stairs. "He always seems angry to me," he said reasonably. Harry shrugged, a smile playing on his lips.

"Not as much as he was in class." He scratched at the back of his head as they finally reached the sitting room. "Sometimes, I think he's almost on the brink of being decent."

"Was he angry because he thinks you saved me?" Sirius' voice was neutral, but Harry could easily tell he was irritated, just by the way the skin around his eyes tensed a little.

Harry shook his head; he didn't think that was it--not precisely. But since it didn't make much sense, it probably wasn't all that important.

"I just wanted to warn you that he might not be in the best of moods," Harry explained.

Sirius' grey eyed sparkled with amusement. "I always assume that's the case with Snape. Are you ready?" he asked when Harry smiled at the logic in Sirius' statement.

Harry slid his wand out of his pocket, and nodded. He closed his eyes, dipped down deep within himself. He found the flowing streams easily, still winding along their two separate paths. He knelt down, and just as he had before, by sheer force of will, he dragged the two streams to fill the empty space where he stood.

The water roiled, threatening, but Harry pulled his mind away before it could begin to drown him. But even as he opened his eyes and saw Snape, he could feel the merged stream trying to pull him under.

Snape halted in mid-stride, looking as if he had been caught in the middle of pacing.

The confusion on his face was quickly replaced by a frown. He plucked a vial from an inside pocket and thrust it at Harry.

"What is it?" Harry asked, struggling to catch his breath as he tried to keep the water from slipping away.

"To keep you from entering a deep sleep," Snape told him quickly. When Harry stared, he snarled, "Take it now!"

Sirius took the vial from Harry's fingers. Harry turned his head toward his godfather, as a bead of sweat dripped past his eyebrow.

"He has to-"

Sirius ignored Snape's raging splutter and uncorked the slim vial. He took Harry's arm in a firm grip and led him over to the settee. Harry obeyed the pressure, sinking onto the cushion even as he continued to focus on the streams.

"Drink," Sirius said quietly. Harry nodded jerkily as the streams protested and since Sirius seemed to understand that Harry needed to concentrate, he held the vial to Harry's lips. Harry slugged it back.Sirius took his other arm swiftly, just as Harry's eyes drifted closed.

Sirius eased him deftly onto his back, using an elbow to slide a tattered cushion under Harry's head. As soon as Harry looked comfortable, Sirius pulled his wand out and performed a diagnostic. His heart rate was slowing back to a normal rate, and his breaths were settling. Satisfied that his godson was indeed all right, he turned to face Snape, who, by either miracle or cruelty, was still standing near the Floo.

"What did you think you were going to accomplish," Sirius said tightly, "by telling Harry I was supposed to die?"

Snape smiled in that thin way that Sirius hated so much.

"I did not think you believed in keeping things from him."

Sirius forced his anger aside. "You don't know that I was meant to die. Do you?" he demanded when Snape continued to stare coldly at him.

"It should be quite obvious that we cannot coexist together, even to you."

"Even if he did stop me from dying, what did you want him to do? Kill me himself?"

He would have expected Snape to at least make a show of amusement at that, but Snape's face went very still. "I have no delusions about the outcome," he said stiffly.

Sirius stared at Snape, shocked into silence by the revelation that Snape expected his life to be sacrificed in his stead. He could think of no response so he shifted the conversation back to where it was more comfortable.

"Before we make a plan, we'll have to be certain that it was me," he said. Snape raised an eyebrow, his eyes full of disdain.

"He was certainly not trying to save me."

"It is possible," Sirius said blandly as he shrugged a little. "If he could sense you were about to die, he would have wanted to save you if he could."

Snape made a derisive noise.

"Harry's more compassionate than you realize," Sirius said, his voice very soft as he gazed at his godson. He brushed Harry's fringe out of his eyes, his thumb lingering against the scar. "Sometimes to his own detriment..."

Sirius looked up, realizing he was talking more to himself than he was to Snape. Snape was staring at him, his expression stony. Sirius turned his eyes back to Harry, as he absently stroked through Harry's fringe, wishing as he often did that he could have somehow taken James' and Lily's places.

"There may be a way to prove I am correct."

Sirius looked up again; Snape was scowling down at Harry.

"Entering his mind again, you mean?"

Snape nodded brusquely. His fingers were tensed around his wand, but he didn't bring it up, and after a moment, Sirius realized that he was waiting for permission. So Sirius nodded, the movement hesitant--the thought of Snape using Legilimency on Harry again made his skin crawl.

"I'm coming with you," he said, halting Snape's wand arm as it lifted.

Snape's wand hovered in the air above Harry; he looked furious when Sirius resolutely met his gaze, and then Snape's lip lifted in a sneer.

"I have no plans to lie about what I find," he said scornfully. Very deliberately, Sirius pulled his fingers from Snape's sleeve and gripped Harry's hand instead; his eyes were still locked with Snape's.

Snape looked between their intertwined hands and Sirius' face. Disgust flitted across his harsh features, but then he moved his wand with a sharp swish. He pointed it at Sirius' head, uttering the same spell he'd used in the infirmary, and Sirius felt his conscience merging with Snape's.

And then... with Harry's.

Snape, more skilled at this than Sirius had ever really considered, guided them easily through the wide passages of Harry's mind. They came to an abrupt halt with a distinct sound of splashing water.

Harry was waiting for them.

And even though Sirius knew he wasn't really there, and in fact these were just pictures that Harry's mind was conjuring up for them, he frowned.

Harry was sitting in a shallow stream of water, leaning back on his palms and gazing upwards.

Looking peaceful and content. Looking too much like he belonged there.

His smiled as Sirius approached.

Hi. The single word vibrated with cheer. I was hoping you'd come.

You've been waiting here? Snape's question was filled with suspicion. His gaze swept over the single stream. Are you keeping the realities together?

Harry switched his gaze to Snape, and shrugged. I'm not trying to.

Sirius gave Harry a hand-up before Snape could say something scathing. He studied his godson's face for signs of distress. What usually happens when you try to keep the two streams together?

I try to keep from drowning.

Snape's eyes were more alert as studied the water surrounding them. The water barely covers your ankles.

It's usually much deeper... and faster.

Snape turned back to eye Harry; Sirius smiled as Harry simply gazed back at the other man.

Snape narrowed his eyes. Attempt to separate the streams.

Harry glanced at Sirius, who after a slight hesitation, nodded. Harry's eyes seemed to focus on nothing, as far as Sirius could tell, and then after a long moment of silence, save the gurgling stream, Harry shook his head, his shoulders slumping a little.

I can't.

Explain.

Harry waved his fingers between Sirius and Snape. Your minds are bonded. I can feel both realities and I can sense how to separate them but your bond won't alloq it

Could you separate them if we were not?

Sirius wanted to snap at Snape not to berate Harry, but Harry didn't even seem to notice. He just sighed, and once again morphed into that same focus.

As his feet began to move of their own accord, Sirius looked down, startled. The shallow stream was burbling upward, shifting ever so slightly. Until, within the larger stream, there were two distinct bodies of water, though they weren't separate. Not really.

Snape narrowed his eyes and then nodded curtly. Harry took that as some sort of sign and relaxed his tensed shoulders. The water seemed to melt again, and then it was lapping gently around Sirius' ankles once more.

Snape narrowed his eyes at Harry. You are controlling it in your sleep.

Harry looked confusedly at his own feet, which were firmly submerged in the water. I can't stay asleep forever.

Sirius stepped toward him. But if you can control them while you're sleeping, maybe that can translate somehow when you're awake.

It will not be that simple, Black. Snape was glaring at both of them.

Harry scowled at him. It's better than the alternative.

It was obvious Snape didn't agree. Harry's frown intensified.

Sirius stepped closer to his godson. We'll keep trying... figure out a way to make it work.

Snape's disdain could be felt all through their shared conscience. Potter is a deplorable student.

Harry's jaw flexed; Sirius put a hand on his arm. Harry glanced at him, the warmth on his godfather's face making the tense muscles along his jaw relax. He turned back to Snape.

Do you think you can help me learn how to do it?

Snape narrowed his eyes suspiciously again. He looked in between Harry and Sirius. I will make the attempt, he finally agreed, as if making a great concession. It was very difficult for Sirius to keep silent.

And he expected Harry to relax then, but Harry was worrying his lower lip between his teeth instead.

Sirius wished they had some privacy. What's the matter?

Harry pulled his teeth back from his lip. If I can keep the realities together... then it means that you weren't...

Sirius deliberately didn't look at Snape as he put a hand on Harry's shoulder. If you can keep the realities together, it won't matter.

Harry nodded jerkily.

You may fail.

Harry's jaw trembled. Sirius glared at Snape. We should make sure you know what you're talking about then.

The superior look on Snape's face didn't change in the slightest. He gestured pointedly toward the vast ocean in the distance. We will have to go back to the beginning.

Harry and Sirius turned toward it, though Harry hesitated. I... He shook his head though, unable to finish the thought.

Hoping that Snape would keep his mouth shut, Sirius took Harry's hand and gave it a tug. Harry's feet moved reluctantly, and Sirius let his fingers go as soon as Harry stepped close to his side. Moving more slowly than Snape probably appreciated, Sirius and Harry began walking downstream, toward the ocean.

--

Potter was walking so close to his mutt, that Severus wondered why Black didn't just carry him. He glared at them as they trudged.

The potion will not last forever, you realize.

Black looked over his shoulder with a frown. And then in his typical, unbearably cosseting manner, he put his arm round Potter's shoulders. At least it got Potter to move faster. Black kept his arm firmly in place as they continued on their way.

The gentle fluttering motions of the water as it lapped against Severus' ankles grew in tempo as they neared the great body of water. The waves began to push at the travelers, trying to force them back. Potter and Black bowed their heads slightly, hunching their shoulders and pushed through with unexpected resolve--Potter hadn't even needed any prodding this time.

Potter stumbled more than once as they surged forward, and Black was there each time to catch his elbow before he fell. Severus scowled, deciding that if the mutt would allow Potter to fall just once, perhaps the clumsy boy would extend a greater effort to keep himself upright.

As a particularly large wave crashed toward him, Severus found himself drenched in its wake. He sputtered as he dragged in a long draught of air. Potter and Black were choking on water as well. He smiled grimly and snapped at them to move along. They were almost there.

We're going as fast as we can!

Severus gave Black his best sneer, but didn't bother to respond. Black shook his head and took Potter's hand once again, but this time didn't let go. The rest of the short journey was spent trying not to be towed under, though the river never did get as deep as Potter had insisted it usually did.

All three were out of breath and panting heavily by the time the waters calmed again. The water slowly became shallow again and finally, Severus dropped to his knees only seconds after Potter and Black.

Potter was trying to catch his breath as he pointed directly in front of him. It started here.

Severus had no idea how Potter would know that, but he didn't waste air arguing.

Black looked bewildered. What are we looking for?

Severus had no idea, but he gave nothing away as his eyes searched the sandy ocean floor which dropped steadily for several meters until Severus could no longer see the bottom.

Harry, what are you doing?

Severus' head snapped up at the concerned question. Potter was crawling toward the sloping drop-off, his fingers combing the sand.

There's something here.

Potter jerked back, his face frozen in shock. Black scrambled forward--his face froze as well.

Severus stood and walked over to where they knelt, curiosity overwhelming several scathing remarks he wished to make.

A piece of dark fabric was anchored in the sand; its edge floated daintily along the waters' surface.

Ah. Severus crouched down, understanding that this was their answer, buried deep within Potter's subconscious.

Feeling a certain smugness, Severus plunged his hands into the sand and began digging. Neither Potter nor Black helped, though Black did silently wrap his arm round Potter's shoulders again as Potter watched, pale-faced.

Severus grit his teeth and continued at his task. He didn't even pause as the curve of a neck was exposed. Potter made a choking sound; Severus ignored him. He could feel the rise of a nose... the dip of two eye sockets, just below the surface of the water.

Don't look.

Black's soft words to Potter came just as Severus swept the last layer of sand from the entombed face.

Snape's lips parted, his face draining of all color as he stared.

Beneath the gentle waves, his own eyes stared back at him.