Before Evil Came Along

BEFORE EVIL CAME ALONG

Chapter Three:

We never told a soul that we were together. Only my family knew. They were, of course not truly happy with it, but I was and as far as I could tell, Tom was too. That was enough. My sisters didn't know whether they should be glad I found the man of my dreams -and he just happened to be the most handsome boy at Hogwarts- or to be scared and shocked that he was a Slytherin. I think they never fully found out... But at least they accepted that I was happy, and I'll always be grateful for that...

The year that came was amazing. I had never had so much fun in my entire life, and I never had so much fun again.

Tom and I were made prefects in our fifth year, which gave us a lot of responsibilities, but a lot of possibilities as well. The times we sneaked into an empty classroom after dark are innumerable, and if anyone asked we just said we were patrolling the corridors, or that we were just returning from the prefect bathroom. And no one ever found out...

But then things began to change: attacks happened at school, rumours about the Chamber of Secrets started flying around... Grindelwald had free reign... When we were around others, Tom changed as well... He had that smug, arrogant attitude again, a look that implied you were useless and a voice so cold and disinterested it could make your blood freeze. When we were alone, he was completely different. He was Tom. But I knew something was going on, and I think I've -very, very deep down- always known that he had something to do with the attacks, I just didn't want to see it.

I thought, and I hoped, that Tom was going through some changes, that this was his way of dealing with things... a lot had happened in his life, his father had died, his mother had left him, he was sent to an orphanage he loathed where he was loathed in return. People had gone insane for less. And when he "caught" Hagrid for unleashing the evil creature and was awarded with Special Services to the School, I thought everything was going to go back to normal, he'd had more attention and fans than he had in our first four years combined, he had me, and I thought that could be enough to satisfy him.

It was not however. He became even more haughty and stuck-up, and-

Love truly is blind, I now often think. I wonder, sometimes, if it wasn't just a teenage crush, but when I truly reflect upon it, I know it wasn't. That special feeling, that warm, caring, peaceful love I felt for Tom, I will never feel for anyone else. That fifth year made me realise that he had... changed and that if- if he kept this up, I would lose Tom to Voldemort -oh, just shut up! A thought that still breaks my heart. I-I feel partly responsible, you know. I loved him so dearly and I would have done everything to keep him happy, to keep him by my side.. And when he- after all the times I tried- still wouldn't-couldn't change, or at least become a bit more friendly...I felt- still feel guilty, somewhere I feel I failed to love him. If I had just... loved him a bit more... he might not have done those things. He might have stayed with us-me and... and...

Oh, let's-let's not dwell on the past...

Do you want some more tea? Or cookies? Or candy... If you want some candy, I could quickly fetch some for you- or I could call the house-elf... Gabby! What? Oh I'm so sorry! It's just... When I think about all those things he has done, it's- I can't believe it, I can't believe that Tom has done those things. But then again, the Tom I knew... or thought I knew, is gone.