Will You Miss Me?

Fly, open up

The part of you

That wants to hide away.

You can shine.

Forget about

The reasons why you can't in life

And start to try

'Cos it's your time,

Time to fly.

"Fly" by Hilary Duff

Chapter One

"I'm late!" realized Seamus in a panic as he lifted up his bag and dashed out of the Common Room. Sprinting as fast as he can, he ran through the Gryffindor Tower and through the Entrance Hall, trying to reach the Charms classroom on time.

"Oops! I'm so sorry!" Seamus apologized as he bumped into an unrecognizable blonde, slender girl, knocking her onto the floor. The books she carried had scattered all over the marbled tiles of the corridors.

Looking all red in the face, she hurriedly apologized in a frightened tone. "I am so sorry! Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

Noticing her green-lined robes, Seamus thought to himself incredulously, "Is this actually a Slytherin apologizing to a Gryffindor? Where is the defiance and pride that Slytherins are notorious of?"

Out of the blue, Professor Flitwick suddenly appeared and cut Seamus's line of thought. "Mr. Finnigan and Ms. Malfoy," the Professor piped cautiously, realizing by their shocked expressions that his entrance was unexpected. "It is to my belief that human locomotion is best achieved on two legs and not by sitting on the floor. Ms. Malfoy, I am aware that you are new to Hogwarts, so please let me guide you to our humble Charms classroom."

'Malfoy? Did the Professor just call her Malfoy?!'

"Mr Finnigan... are you all right?" Professor Flitwick gently

questioned, interrupting Seamus' thoughts.

Trying to gather what poise he had lost, Seamus quickly rose up and muttered, "Accio books!" The books that Malfoy dropped swiftly flew to his hands.

"Thank you," smiled the Slytherin, her dimples clearly showing. Relieving her books from Seamus, she followed the Professor to the classroom. How can a Slytherin be so nice towards anyone, especially to a Gryffindor!?! And her smile! It seemed so sincere that it made his knees go weak and wobbly! Shaking his head in bewilderment, Seamus followed after them, trying to figure out what has just happened so far.

The Charms classroom was still the same as Seamus could remember. There are bookcases of forgotten charms in all corners of the room, dust are

still being collected in spellbooks of arcane knowledge that wizards in

the past had died to obtain. Statues of well-renowned wizards were

placed beside the doors and the teacher's table. As he glanced though

the room, it seemed that all the students came in on time. "All except

me," he thought sourly as he took his usual seat beside Harry, Ron and

Dean.

While Seamus rummaged his bag for his Charms textbook, Ron suddenly

asked out of curiosity, "What took you so long? Surely it didn't take

you twenty minutes to find your Charms homework!"

Shaking his head in resignation, Seamus sighed. "I misplaced it between

the Charms notes given to us yesterday. And just as I was as late as it

was, I bumped into that Slytherin! Man! I have never met a more

lily-livered excuse for a witch! The way she was apologizing to me was

though I was some sort of vicious Hungarian Horntail after her or

something! Honestly, she brings a bad name to all Slytherins! It's just

too bad that you guys weren't there! Can you even believe that she's

related to that slimy git?!"

"Who?" questioned Dean lightheartedly. "Malfoy?"

"It can't be!" cried Ron disbelievingly. "If half of what you describe

about that girl is true, it's almost impossible that she could be

carrying that foul Malfoy blood!"

"Yeah. Speaking of Malfoy, can you actually believe that he is dating

Pansy Parkinson?" After achieving loud 'ew's from his friends, Dean

continued, "Yeah! I can't believe it either! They make such a sickening

pair!"

Harry nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Even for a big stupid git, I was kind

of surprised that Malfoy would want to date such a revolting ogre. Then

again, Malfoy is not really even sane to begin with. How could there be

so much ego in one relationship?"

"Excuse me boys," Professor Flitwick interrupted, "but please listen to

what I have to say before engaging yourselves in private conversation.

Before continuing on Magnifying Charms, I'm sure we would like to

introduce a new student to the school, Miss Aeris Malfoy,

coincidentally a cousin to one of our students, Draco Malfoy."

Forcing himself to stop staring at Malfoy's smirk, Seamus focused his

attention back to the Professor. "Miss Aeris Malfoy was transferred

from Durmstrang and was proclaimed in Slytherin when she arrived just

yesterday. I'm sure we will want to welcome her most warmly to this

school and make her feel right at home here in Hogwarts." With that,

Flitwick clapped his hands, while the rest of his class followed suit

unenthusiastically with the exception of Malfoy and his cronies.

Malfoy was apparently very pleased with the arrival of his nervous

cousin. Forcing himself not to wipe the stupid smirk off Malfoy's face

with a nice Boogey hex up his nose, Seamus wrenched his face away and

tried to concentrate on Filtwick's teachings of Magnifying Charms.

"Let's not talk about them. Just saying the word 'Malfoy' nauseates

me!" With a glimpse of interest in his eyes, Harry continued, "How is

it going between you and Parvati?"

Seamus winced at the name. They had been going out since the start of

their sixth year but things did not go that well. She was always

criticizing his untamed auburn hair, complaining he was too unromantic

and on their dates. Once when both of them were taking a romantic walk

around the school gardens, Parvati had gave him an hour-long tirade on

his self-image. She seemed to take pleasure at condemning him. She was

also very possessive and controlled his very movement. Seamus however

still loved her and quietly endured all of her idiosyncrasies because

he knew that her deep need to criticize came from all her insecurities.

However, Seamus knew that a relationship like theirs would never work

and hoped that Parvati will change for the better; otherwise it is only

a matter of time before one of them cracks.

"Things didn't go all that well. Apparently, Parvati spent our last

date screaming at me for being too uncool-looking and boring. She wants

excitement in a relationship and I'm afraid I can't give it to her."

"Well, break up with her then," suggested Harry simply.

"What/!" exclaimed Seamus.

"Yeah, why do you put up with her anyway? If Lavender was like that, I

would have dumped her a long time ago! She is clearly bullying you man!

I don't even think you are man enough to stand her up!" Dean exclaimed

vehemently.

"Dean," explained Seamus slowly and patiently, "when you fall in love,

you will realize that in every relationship, none are perfect. There

will definitely be a time when couples will fight and argue with each

other. That is why we must sometimes give in to one another. Tell me

whose relationship is perfect and I'll show you a liar."

"Well Mr Finnigan," Professor Flitwick chimed in, annoyingly breaking

into Seamus's conversion once again, "perhaps you could show the class

a perfect Magnifying Charm?" He placed a delicate glass cup onto his

table.

"Busted!" mouthed Malfoy from the other table, earning a glare from

Seamus.

"Umm... Fine. Magifico!" exclaimed Seamus with a jerk of his wand,

causing the glass cup to explode into a million pieces.

"Not good. Not good at all..." muttered Flitwick in midst of the

laughter of the whole classroom.

"And then she screamed at me for making a fool out of myself at

Hogsmeade! Am I such a bad boyfriend that I can't be seen hanging out

with her? Am I so disgraceful?" questioned Seamus miserably during

Herbology lesson.

"I can't believe that she blew you off just like that," sympathized

Hermione, "but Parvati came from a rich family and she is accustomed to

have the best of everything. She wants a perfect boyfriend and that is

why she keeps picking on you, so that you will change into her ideal

boyfriend."

"But I don't want to change! I love her and all but apparently, I think

that her reputation matters more to her than me!"

"I know. I spent six years sharing the same bedroom quarters with her.

People who do that usually know their roommates inside out," smiled

Hermione. "Do you love her?"

"Of course I do! That's an absurd question Hermione," replied Seamus in

an offended tone.

"Then just do this one thing for her. She will be so surprised that you

give in without a fight. She will remember this and repay you one day

when you expect something out of her! After all, love requires

unrequited sacrifice. What goes around comes back around and one day,

she will do the same for you too!"

"I hope you're right, Hermione."

"All you have to do is to be sensitive to her feelings and pay a lot of

attention to her. Pay close attention to her facial gestures because

they have a lot of hidden messages. You must also look beyond the

person's physical appearance and actions and look deep inside a

person's soul."

"Finnigan! Granger! Stop talking!" said Professor Sprout sternly.

Pointing at Seamus, she said, "I want to see both you and Miss Malfoy

now!"

"What did I do?" He mouthed the words to Hermione desperately who just

shrugged back in puzzlement.

Aeris, who was working on her Lurvas (strawberry-red flowers with downy

soft petals whose scent acts as a mild love potion) was also looking

all at sea too.

Following Professor Sprout out of the Greenhouse 7, both Seamus and

Aeris looked awkwardly at each other and felt so overwhelmed as though

a wave of nausea had swallowed them up. "Mr Finnigan, are you even

aware that there is a major Herbology project that consists 60% of your

examinations results?"

When Seamus shook his head in bafflement, Professor Sprout continued

with a sigh. "What have you been doing in my lessons, Mr Finnigan? Idle

chit-chat no doubt... Oh well, you are supposed to work together with a

partner to grow and nurture a flowering Sephilica in six weeks and note

the progress of it from a mere seed to a blooming flower. You also must

research and tabulate the properties of the Sephilica, the origins and

so forth. Since only both of you are the only remaining students

deprived of a partner, you have no choice but to work together."

Sprout's long speech was followed by exclamations of protests, but

Sprout held out her hand to silence both of them. "There will be no

debate on this, Mr. Finnigan. Sephilica seeds are rare and there are

not enough to go around. Both of you have to work together if you hope

to pass Herbology."

"But she's a Slytherin, Professor! Do you know what you are doing? You

are suggesting that we have to work together. Alone. Without us

strangling each other."

"No offense, but why are all of you so prejudiced towards Slytherins?"

shouted Aeris as she began to see red. Seamus was taken-aback as he

realized that Aeris was not as timid as he imagined. "Why can't you

understand that Slytherins are humans too, that some of us are actually

decent?!"

"You people are monsters! You take pleasure in other people's pain and

suffering, indulge in debauchery and depravity and you... you dare to

call yourselves humans!"

"Are you so shallow that you can't see past your nose? Just because

some Slytherins are depraved and immoral does not mean all of us are!

You stereotyped us as brutes and beasts but have you wondered that

actually some of us are not as evil as you portrayed us? Gryffindors

are always so..."

"Go stick your pointed hat inside your..."

"Children, stop it!" reproached Professor Sprout heatedly, flecks of

red in her cheeks. Professor Sprout was almost never angry, and when

she was, well, you better watch out. "Finnigan, you can only blame it

on yourself for not paying attention in my class. I expect to see your

project at the end of six weeks. Is that clear?"

"But Professor!"

"I am sorry Seamus, but there is no other choice. Come on, don't look

so dismayed! It's not the end of the world! Cheer up!" consoled

Professor Sprout.

"Cheer up?" thought Seamus irately, stomping back to the Greenhouse.

"You are not the one who is stuck working with a slimy Slytherin for

six weeks!"

"Oh my gosh... I can't believe you are doing your project with Aeris

Malfoy, Draco Malfoy's cousin!"

"Dean, do you mind? I am trying to eat here!" Seamus replied

cantankerously. "Can you please pass the potatoes?"

"Wow. Are you trying to eat to your death so as to avoid her?" joked

Dean as her passed the mashed potatoes.

"Ha ha. Very funny. That is probably one of the funniest jokes ever

created by mankind! You know, we should just nominate you for the Best

Comedian of the Year award and you will probably win hands-down with

that killer joke of yours!" retorted Seamus sarcastically.

"Relax dude! It was only a joke! Don't get all snappy over it!"

Disgruntled, Seamus glanced at Aeris at the Slytherin table. She was

seated beside Malfoy and his half-brained oafs, looking petrified as

she clutched her Herbology textbooks tightly. Has she reverted back to

her lily-livered ways? As he stared at Aeris's elfin face, Seamus began

to recollect the arguments they had during Herbology.

"But she's a Slytherin, Professor! Do you know what you are doing? You

are suggesting that we have to work together. Alone. Without us

strangling each other."

"No offense, but why are all of you so prejudiced towards Slytherins?

Why can't you understand that Slytherins are humans too, that some of

us are actually decent!"

"You people are monsters! You take pleasure in other people's pain and

suffering, indulge in debauchery and depravity and you... you dare to

call yourselves humans!"

"Are you so shallow that you can't see past your nose? Just because

some Slytherins are depraved and immoral does not mean all of us are!

You stereotyped us as brutes and beasts but have you wondered that

actually some of us are not as evil as you portrayed us?"

'Was I really wrong in saying that all Slytherins are reprobates? They

are! Look at Malfoy! Look at Crabbe, Goyle, Parkinson, Snape! Even

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was from Slytherin! But what if Aeris is

right? What if there are some Slytherins who are not immoral like the

rest of them? There can't be! Is it even possible that...'

"Seamus, are you okay?" asked Harry, knocking Seamus out of his

reverie.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine. I was thinking whether... never mind." With

that, Seamus suddenly left the Great Hall unexpectedly without even

finishing his potatoes.

"Don't you want dessert?"

Later in the night, the Gryffindor common room was overflowing with

students relaxing and studying. First-years were sitting around the

fireplace, listening to the fifth-years' anecdotes of their life in

Hogwarts. A bunch of third-years were trading Chocolate Frog cards and

there was even a couple sitting together on a squishy red armchair

getting cozy. Without warning, Parvati pulled Seamus away from a match

of wizard chess between Neville and Ron and into the boy's dormitory.

"Seamus," started Parvati as she squirmed around. "I'm so sorry. I

really like you Seamus, but I think it's time for us to break up."

With great astonishment and shock, Seamus felt his world crumbling

away. "Why?" He asked softly, tears welling up in his eyes. "What did I

do wrong?"

"It's not your fault. I think I finally found someone whom I really

love and I think it is unfair for the both of us if we continue this

relationship. Ours just isn't working, Seamus! I like you, I think you

are a great guy but I just don't love you!"

"But I love you Parvati!"

"Seamus, you have to let go of me. I'm sure you'll find another girl

who will love you much more than me!"

"I don't want another girl! I want you!" shouted Seamus irrationally.

"I love you just so much Parvati! I gave you my heart and soul and now

you are telling me it's over?!"

"Please, Seamus, don't be like this!" cried Parvati, tears rapidly

flowing down her cheeks. "We don't have any chemistry together and my

heart has already gone to another guy!"

"Who's your boyfriend now?" asked Seamus, his voice raspy.

"He's Anthony Goldstein from Ravenclaw. He's a great guy. Really,

he..."

"What does he has that I don't have!" yelled Seamus, trying to hold

back tears from gushing down his cheek.

"I don't know! I'm sorry Seamus but I just don't love you! Please

accept my decision!" wept Parvati. "This is as hard for me as it is as

hard for you! I'm so sorry!"

"How can you do this to me, Parvati? I loved you with my heart and soul

and I expected nothing back except your love but what did I do to

deserve such treatment?" suppurated Seamus with an air of anguish.

"I am so sorry!" cried Parvati hysterically. "But you have to accept

the fact that I don't love you! Not anymore!"

"Get out! I never want to see you ever again!" Seamus screamed as a

drop of tear left his cheek and dripped onto the floor. Crying in

anguish and grief, Parvati felt shamefaced for causing her first love

so much torture and agony. Parvati was between the devil and the sea

whether she should run away from Seamus or stay and console him. She

knew that if she left right now instead of staying and consoling

Seamus, he will hate her and their relationship will be extinguished

forever. She will lose something special with Seamus, something she

will never have again. But if she stayed with him, it will be even more

difficult to break up with Seamus. It was time to let go. Let go

forever.

Parvati ran away.

And then, a deep silence filled the room. A cold silence that filled

Seamus's heart with a feeling he has never experienced before in his

life. It was grief. Lying on his four-poster which looked so snug a

minute ago, Seamus cried like he had never cried before. Within one

minute, she destroyed months of love and care that Seamus had

cultivated for her. She destroyed his innocence - his deep naivety

belief that love conquers all and that love can solve every problem in

the world. Now was the time to cry, to berate her, to scream, to let

all the heart-felt sorrow and rejection out because after he stopped

crying, he would be reborn. He wouldn't be Seamus Finnigan anymore. A

new Seamus would rise. A stronger, wiser, colder, unfeeling Seamus

would be born, but for now, let him cry. Let him spend his last moments

as an innocent boy, unknown of the dangers of the world, unknown that

love could burn the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns, or that a

soul could ache.

He walked to the balcony of the room, his eyes blood-red due to

shedding of too much tears. "Love hurts," he whispered to the silent

wind.

To be continued...