When I'm Gone

Everything I am and everything in me

Wants to be the one you wanted me to be

I'll never let you down even if I could

I'd give up everything if only for your good.

--3 Doors Down, "When I'm Gone"

"Say goodbye to your father," Ginny instructed, releasing her grip on the two small children's hands. She watched as her two children Luke--the older of the two, and at seven years old he looked exactly like his father--and five year old, redheaded Abigail approached the closed casket apprehensively. They both looked back at Ginny, frightened expressions prominent on their faces. She gave them a weak smile. "Go on," she whispered. "It's okay."

Together, Luke and Abigail lay two single, red roses on the polished wood. Making sure the flowers were securely in place, they ran back to their mother, and buried their faces in the folds of her black skirt. The tears began to flow from Ginny's eyes once again as she held her children and averted the eyes of the fellow mourners.

Draco, she wailed in her mind, why did you have to leave us?

***

Virginia Malfoy (better known as Ginny, although she was past thirty years of age) was sitting in the parlor of Malfoy Manor when her husband Draco returned home from work, late for the fifth night in a row. "Hello?" she heard him call, hanging his cloak in the closet. "Ginny?"

She stayed silent and not moving in the dark room and watched as Draco passed by the doorway, then got up and followed him out.

He was about to ascend the stairs to the second floor when Ginny spoke softly but firmly from just outside the parlor. "You're late again, Draco."

Draco spun around, his face relaxing slightly when he saw her. "I know," he whispered, coming to put his arms around her. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Ginny put her hands against his chest, pushing him away. "You said that the other four nights, too." She crossed her arms.

"Ginny, please, I don't need to hear this right now. I had a hard day at work and--," Draco began, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Who is she?" Ginny demanded. "What's her name? Do I know her?"

"Ginny, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Come on, Draco, tell me the truth! Who's the other woman?" her voice was rising at a dangerous rate.

"What other woman?" Draco replied, just as angry.

"There's obviously someone else," Ginny spat. "Do you expect me to believe that you've been at work all this time? I know you, Draco, now just tell me and get it over with!"

"I don't need this," Draco muttered, turning his back on Ginny and climbing up the stairs. "I'm going to bed."

Ginny stood dumbfounded at the foot of the stairs for a moment, but spun around and stalked into the library, slamming the door behind her.

***

Draco leaned over the sink and splashed water on his face, then grabbing a nearby towel and sponging off the water. The mark on his forearm caught his eye as he hung up the cloth, and he pressed his thumb into it. It burned, and he grimaced.

It's becoming clearer, he told himself, running his hand through his blond hair. He had no idea what to do. He couldn't tell Ginny, he loved her too much for that. But...his entire family was in danger. Didn't he at least owe them an explanation?

He blew out the candle in the bathroom, and walked slowly down the corridor, peering into Abby's room. She was asleep on her side; one hand curled under her little cheek, her red hair splayed across the pillow. He quickly glanced away. It hurt too much to look at her.

Continuing further on down the corridor, he came to Luke's room. Standing in the doorway, he watched as his son, his pride, slept. It hurt his heart even more to look at his son, who was the exact image of his father. I failed him, Draco couldn't help but think. Because I wanted to save myself more than I did them. He came to his own bedroom, expecting to see Ginny, but she wasn't there. I failed her, too, he realized, a heavy sense of defeat settling over him. God, I wanted so much to be someone different than what my father was. Now I'm worse than he was.

Angrily, he slammed his fist against the wall.