The Ferret and the Weasel

Draco Malfoy was walking perfectly peacefully down the hallway, flanked by Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle when he noticed a red head bobbing towards him in the empty hallway. It was not part of the Golden Trio, but the sister of him. The fifth year was walking determinedly and seemed not to even notice him.

He swept right in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. She backed away a few steps and looked up at him. “Hello, Weaselette,” he drawled out.

“Hi, Ferret.” Draco’s eyes widened, recalling the incident. His nose and mouth twitched in anger as she brought it up. “Oh, good, good. You’re finally starting to act like one again.” Draco’s mouth fell open and he tried in vain to close it again. Since when did she act like this? “No, no, no: that’s a fish. You’re supposed to act like a ferret.”

Draco finally seemed to regain the power of speech. “You’ll pay for that one!”

“Just how am I supposed to do that?” she asked sweetly, fluttering her eyelashes.

“Oh, that’s right: you can’t. You’re too poor. Tell me, how is it being homeless?” he tried to catch her off-guard, but she seemed to be prepared for his remarks.

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?”

“Huh?” Oh, that’s very articulate, Draco; what would father say?

“Your father is already in jail; it’s only a matter of time before they take away everything he owns.” She said this very sweetly and matter-of-factly, but it was nothing like that. Draco cheeks turned pink (for Malfoys do not blush: it is against Malfoy Code #13.) Suddenly, she smiled brightly, looking at something behind him, “Hello, Mad-Eye.”

“Oh, no: you’re not going to trick me like that.” Did she really think he was that stupid?

“Now, now, Malfoy: didn’t your mother ever tell you not to argue with girls?” Draco spun to the source of the voice. It was Moody. Suddenly he was a ferret once again.

Mad-Eye smirked. “Crouch did get something right.”

The ferret starting jumping up and down frantically, getting steadily higher. Ginny smirked. “Look it’s Draco the Amazing Bouncing Ferret! Well, technically, he’s jumping, but who cares?!” She watched his progress as he could finally reach her eye level with each jump. As soon as he could see her eye to eye, he started baring his teeth and growling with every jump. “Oooh, he’s a feisty one!”

She wiggled finger like a worm, mocking the poor ferret at every jump when he tried to bite her, like Scabbers had bitten Goyle. She knew about that incident from Ron. Speaking of Goyle, he and Crabbe were watching the progress of the ferret and not doing much else. Mad-Eye finally grew tired of this and he clunked away.

The Draco Ferret gave up jumping and started running around Ginny’s feet, trying to scare her. She quickly grew annoyed as she had to constantly dodge him. “Stop!” she shouted, stamping her foot in anger. Unluckily, the ferret was right under her foot at that exact point in time. Poor Draco had been squished; the foot had gone right in the middle of his tiny body.

Slowly, the ferret turned back into the boy, with a huge foot print right in the middle of his stomach. Luna passed by at that moment. “Draco!” She flung herself at him, somehow impaling herself on his wand, and dying on her love.

Somewhere in Azkaban, Lucius Malfoy felt as if someone had kicked him in the stomach and he writhed in agony. The Dark Lord somehow figured out what had happened and he suffered a minor heart attack in shock. Crabbe and Goyle started acting like victims of the Dementor’s Kiss; no souls, no personality, just there. Harry never really found out, or cared, because he was having an affair with Hermione, who just happened to be dating Ron at the time.