The Craziness of Moldie Voldie

The Craziness of Moldie Voldie

Chapter One

-New Gryffindors?-

As they entered the castle, the wizard came into full light and they saw that it was Dumbledore.

James: He's going to kill us . . .

Sirius: Are you sure it's Dumbledore? He looks younger.

James: That water must have done something to your brain. Of course it's Dumbledore.

Sirius: But his beard is at least three feet shorter.

James: Maybe he finally got a haircut . . . *looks doubtful*

They looked around the corridors as they walked.

James: This looks . . . the same.

Sirius: What did you think it would look like? It's not like we're in a different time.

A boy walked past them, tall with curly black hair and wearing Slytherin robes. A shining Prefect badge could be seen on his cloak.

Sirius: *whispering* Stiff-alert

James: *whispering* Slytherin-alert

Sirius: *still whispering* James, do you still have some of that color-changing ink?

James: *grins and still whispering* Already there, Padfoot. *holds out vial and pops open the top*

Sirius: *grins and still whispering* Wicked. Here, let me do the honors. *takes the ink and glances around to make sure no one was looking.

Stepping back casually, he tossed the ink over his shoulder and was rewarded when he heard the Prefect let out a cry of surprise as he was suddenly drenched in ink.

Sirius and James glanced behind them and saw that the Slytherin Prefect was now wearing bright yellow and hot pink robes. James and Sirius covered their mouths to keep from laughing and stumbled after Dumbledore.

***who is that mysterious Slytherin prefect? . . . . hmm . . . . . no, it's not Tom Riddle***

Sirius: *whispering* That was brilliant.

James: *whispering* Definitely.

Sirius: *whispering* Why are we still whispering?

James: *whispering* I don't know.

Sirius: Let's stop.

James: We did. *glances back behind them where the Prefect had turned the corner* Did you recognize that Prefect?

Sirius: *shrugs* Wasn't really paying attention. I was too busy laughing at his very colorful robes. *grins* Bright yellow and hot pink look good on him.

James: *looks thoughtful* But don't we know all the Prefects? I mean, I'm a Prefect and I know everyone . . . I think . . .

Sirius: Stop thinking so much. You're making my head hurt.

James: Be quiet, Padfoot.

Sirius: *thinks for a moment* I still beat you.

James: You're still going on about that?

Sirius: Just admit that I beat you.

James: No.

Sirius: We're going to stand here until you admit it.

James: *crosses arms* Fine.

Sirius: *crosses arms* Fine.

James: Fine.

Sirius: Fine.

James: Fine!

Sirius: I beat you!

Dumbledore: If you two are finished squabbling, we're at the Headmaster's office.

James and Sirius looked at Dumbledore, who was standing in front of the gargoyle that they knew all too well.

Sirius: You're still here?

Dumbledore: Yes, I am. Now, if you'll follow me. *faces gargoyle* pumpkin pasty.

The gargoyle moved and Sirius and James followed Dumbledore up the flight of stairs.

James: *whispering* Did he say 'Headmaster'. Isn't Dumbledore the Headmaster?

Sirius: *whispering* Well, we know that Dumbledore's been going for awhile, maybe he's having a memory lapse.

James: Hmm . . .

They stopped in front of a door and Dumbledore faced them.

Dumbledore: Headmaster Dippet will see you now.

Sirius: What?!! But you're the Headmaster!

Dumbledore: *smiles* Young man, I think that the water must have affected your thought process. Headmaster Dippet is the Headmaster here at Hogwarts.

He opened the door and showed them in, closing the door behind him.

Sirius: He just called me 'young man.' He always calls me Sirius or Mr. Black . . .

James: *shrugs*

A voice: So, you two were caught in the lake. Come here.

James and Sirius turned to face a wizened old wizard sitting at a desk.

Sirius: *whispering, glancing at the wizard* He doesn't look like Dumbledore.

James: *rolls eyes* Of course not! We just left Dumbledore!

Sirius: *looks at James* Oh.

A voice: *clears voice* Excuse me.

The two boys looked at the wizard.

Sirius: Who are you?

Wizard: The Headmaster.

Sirius: Who are we?

Wizard: Two Gryffindors out of bed.

Sirius: Oh. *hits head* I'm dreaming.

James: *walks up to the headmaster* Sir, we're sorry we're out of bed. We . . . . uh . . . heard a cry and saw Mrs. Norris drowning in the lake.

Headmaster: Who?

James: Mrs. Norris *confused now* Filch's cat.

Headmaster: Who?

James: The caretaker.

Headmaster: Who?

Sirius: *whispers to James* He likes saying that, doesn't he?

Headmaster: *shakes head* Well, you two go back to your dormitories. Ten points from Gryffindor for being out of bed.

James: Yes, sir.

James and Sirius turned and headed out of the headmaster's office.

James: That was . . . . odd.

Sirius: *nods* He was looking like he didn't recognize us. Maybe we got a new Headmaster while we were outside.

James: I don't think so . . .

They stopped in front the Gryffindor portrait.

Fat Lady: Password?

Sirius: Waddlebird

Fat Lady: No.

Sirius: What? They changed it so quickly? *looks at James* Why didn't you tell me it changed?

James: *shrugs* Because I didn't know it changed.

Sirius: *looks back at Fat Lady* Are you sure it's not Waddlebird?

Fat Lady: *sternly* Yes, I am sure. If you're Slytherins in disguise, I suggest you get back to your Tower.

Sirius: What??? *extremely confused* Tower?

James: The Slytherins live in the dungeons; trust me, we know. And besides, we're not Slytherins.

Fat Lady: How do I know that?

Sirius: Well, for one we can make coherent sentences.

James: Second, we're much better looking.

Fat Lady: I can't let you in without the password.

Sirius: *smiles sweetly* You know, you look very nice in that dress.

Fat Lady: Well . . .

Sirius: If I give you ten galleons, would you let us in?

Fat Lady: What would I do with ten galleons? I'm a portrait.

Sirius: I have a knife.

Fat Lady: *eyes wide* Knife?

Sirius: Will you let us in?

Fat Lady: "yells loudly* Slytherins trying to get into the common room!!!!!!

Sirius and James: *hands over their ears* Can you possibly get any louder????

Fat Lady: *yells louder* DIPPET!!!

Sirius: Ow!

James: Answers that question.

The Headmaster appears a few moments later.

Headmaster: What's going on?

Fat Lady: Those two . . . mongrels . . . are trying to get into the common room! They threatened me with a knife!

Headmaster: *looks at Sirius and James, who still have their hands over their ears. They look up* Is that true?

Sirius: *looks innocent* Honestly, Headmaster, we forgot the password. And does it look like I have a knife?

Headmaster: *frowns and looks at the Fat Lady* They're Gryffindors; I just had them in my office a few moments ago. Let them in.

Fat Lady: Dippet . . . what if he threatens me with a knife again?

Dippet: He won't. *looks at Sirius sternly* He'll be cleaning the dungeons if he does.

Sirius: *eyebrows raised*

James: So, can we know the password?

Dippet: *looks at Fat Lady* Gryffindor.

Sirius: *disbelief* That's the password???? *rolls eyes* What idiot thought of that one?

***we did***

Sirius: Who are you?

***we're the authors***

Sirius: The authors? Of what?

***this story***

Sirius: *swallows* Um . . . did I say idiot? I meant . . . genius! *looks around worriedly* You're not going to erase me, are you?

***no, Sirius, we love you too much***

Sirius: *grins* Brilliant.

James: His head is going to explode from all the hot air. *pauses* What about me?

***Don't worry, James, we love you too***

***You love James, I love Sirius***

***Does that really matter at this point?***

***I LOVE SIRIUS!!!***

Sirius: *grins widely* She loves me.

James: How do you know it's a she?

Sirius: *turns bright red* Um . . .

***Don't worry, Sirius, I'm a she***

***I am too***

Sirius: *sighs in relief* Good. You had me worried.

***You worried Sirius***

***So?***

***I LOVE SIRIUS!!!***

***I don't care. Shut up and let the characters talk***

Dippet: *shakes his head, but smiles slightly* Get to bed.

James: Yes, sir.

***Aye, aye, captain! Wait . . . I'm a Slytherin . . . ***

***And I'm a Ravenclaw!***

***then what are we doing in the Gryffindor common room?***

***you wrote it***

***you helped***

***it was your idea***

***it was your computer***

Sirius: Um, are you two done arguing yet?? It's getting rather annoying . . . and confusing . . . where exactly are you?

James: *claps hand over Sirius' mouth and whispers to Sirius* Shut up! *louder, to Dippet* We're going, sir. Thank you. *glances upwards* We're going! Don't erase us.

Sirius: mhphphphhhhh

James: *smiles* Goodnight.

Sirius: mpphphphphphhhh

James dragged Sirius through the opening and the portrait closed behind them.

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