Waltz For The Moon

Waltz for the Moon: Waxing

Part II: Waxing

***

"It's disgusting... look at the way they're carrying on!"

Near the entrance of the Great Hall, Severus Snape and Remus Lupin were speaking quietly to each other. Their conversation seemed to be entirely concentrated on the massive tome that Remus held. Lily Evans, apparently finding the pair completely inoffensive, gave Sirius a bleary-eyed look of annoyance.

"Give it up, Sirius," she said, yawning. "Nyx the Nocturnal might roll over in her grave if she knew that they were discussing her book before noon, but there's nothing really improper about it. Pass the milk, would you?"

Sirius complied, frowning. "How do you know what they're talking about?"

"Read it in my eggs. You should have been paying attention in Divination yesterday... there's a lot to be learned from simple breakfast foods. For instance, if you looked at your cereal, you'd know that house elves will soon be working to remove a rather large stain from your sleeve."

Sirius extricated his elbow from his bowl with an even deeper scowl, and Lily took pity on him.

"It's my book. Remus asked to borrow it last night... something about a research project. Why are you getting so worked up over this? Is this why you've been acting like a twit all week."

"James and Peter think that Snape, er, fancies Remus," Sirius said, dropping his voice. Those weren't the precise words that James had used last night in the common room, but Lily was a girl and Sirius did have _some_ standards.

Lily, about to take a drink, nearly spilled her milk down the front of her robe. "Snape? And Remus?" She giggled. "Oh, that's too funny- Snape's always seemed too prudish for that sort of thing. It's cute, though."

"Cute? It's disgusting!" He stole another glance at the pair by the entrance. Remus seemed to be pointing out a specific passage. Snape, nodding, also touched the book, his finger only a hairsbreadth away from Remus's. Sirius shuddered.

The redhead rolled her eyes. "You're hardly one to talk about disgusting, Sirius. You've been with half the girls in our year, and quite of few of the boys."

"That's different," Sirius said, exasperated. "None of them were Slytherins. None of them were _Snape_."

"I bow to your supreme logic," Lily said dryly. "You sound like a jealous husband. Are you sure that _you_ don't fancy Remus?"

Sirius flushed. "I do not! I'm just worried about him, that's all- Slytherins are bad news, and Snape's the worst of the lot. Moony's practically an innocent, and I won't let him get hurt."

"Remus? Innocent? Are we talking about the same person here? Remus was old before he turned six. I'd be more worried about Snape. _He's_ the one who doesn't know what he's getting into. Remus isn't nearly as sweet and mild as everyone seems to think he is."

"Remus wouldn't hurt a fly," Sirius said rather snippily. "I think I know him just a little better than you do. We've only been living in the same room for nearly five years."

"Whatever," Lily said indulgently. It was too early to quibble. "Speaking of your roommates, where are the rest of them?"

"Probably still in the showers," Sirius said, helping himself to eggs and sausage. "They should be down soon."

"Still in the showers? You mean you got up before them? _You_?"

Sirius shrugged, suddenly extremely interested in his eggs. "Remus was up early, and the noise woke me. I couldn't get back to sleep and I was hungry... I don't see what's so extraordinary about that."

"Nothing, except that Remus makes no more noise than a cat and you can sleep through an earthquake. What are you, his guard dog? He can take care of himself."

Sirius turned angrily, but before he could speak, James, Peter, and Remus seated themselves, talking animatedly. Snape had vanished, presumably to the Slytherin table. Remus, his eyes green as grass, was in particularly fine spirits, and he flashed Lily a bright smile as he took some juice.

"I lent Severus your book- he needs another primary source for his paper. D'you mind? He said he'll be done in a few days."

She shrugged. "As long as he's careful with it. I won't need it for a little while." Then, to James as he complacently helped himself to some of her eggs: "I'm not done with those! Get your own!"

"But they taste better from your plate!" James grinned, attempting to season the eggs to his taste. She batted his hands out of the way, incidentally spilling salt in Peter's porridge, and James retaliated by swiping her milk while she apologized to Peter.

"At least it doesn't look like anyone's nose will end up upside down this time," said Remus, somewhat used to meals with James and Lily- not to mention Sirius, who would normally have helped himself to the rest of Lily's breakfast while she was distracted. Sirius muttered something incomprehensible around a mouthful of sausage, glowering as Peter borrowed his spoon to participate in a silverware duel. Remus, knowing that a cranky Sirius was not a good conversationalist, tolerantly applied himself to the mound of food piled on his own plate as the battle for Lily's breakfast raged on around him.

"So," Sirius said abruptly, absently moving his glass out of harm's way, "how is _Severus_ this morning?"

"I really don't know," Remus said, surprised. "Since when you do care about Snape?"

"Since when do _you_ care about Snape?" Sirius countered.

"I don't, particularly. Professor Throop suggested that he consult me on his research project, as I worked on something related last year. As long as he stays civil, I don't mind."

"Oh? And what is _Severus_ working on for Defense against the Dark Arts?"

Remus's eyes- //green, greener than Lily's, and why did this nag at him?//- narrowed. "A comparison of the behavior of Dark creatures during Grindelwald's reign of terror with their behavior a few decades before and after," he said precisely, offering Sirius a level stare. "Is _this_ why you've been acting like such a twit lately?"

Sirius flushed, but Lily was involved in a three-way grape-flinging contest, and wasn't paying attention. "Are you out of your mind, Re? He's a Slytherin! There's no way you can trust him, let alone help him!"

"I fail to see how even a Slytherin could stab me in the back with his own research paper- he's the one who has to worry about trusting me. Besides, he's not all that awful when he's away from Rosier and his crowd- and when you're not flinging jinxes at his back."

Sirius struck the table in frustration. //He's actually defending that prat!// "He's asking a Gryffindor for help, Moony- a _Gryffindor_! Think about it! Maybe we should start studying your behavior if you can't see why there's something's wrong with that picture. No wonder Snape is interested in you- when you're done helping him research other Dark creatures, he can use you as another data point!"

For a long, awful, moment, Remus didn't move, speak, or breathe, and the green eyes that bore into his own betrayed no hint of emotion. Then, very calmly, he rose, nodded courteously to James, Peter, and Lily, and left the Great Hall without a word. The others stared after him, Peter with porridge still dripping from his hair. Lily found her voice first.

"Sirius Black, that may be the most despicable thing I've heard you say in five years worth of despicable things. If you know what's good for you, you'll leave the table right now, fling yourself at his feet, and beg for forgiveness."

"I didn't mean to, I mean I didn't want- I didn't-"

"Think?" James suggested blandly.

"Yeah," said Sirius. "Think. Bugger." He rubbed his eyes. "I can't believe I said that... I really didn't mean it. I was just so angry- he was _defending_ Snape, defending him as if he were just a regular research partner like Leonora Bones or that Ravenclaw he used to work with, and he just doesn't seem to see what Snape is really after... oh, I don't know. Where do you think he went?"

"Class, probably," Peter said. "We have Double Transfiguration in five minutes."

"Great," Sirius said, sighing. "I won't be able to talk to him until lunch."

They stood up and joined the crowd of students streaming to class. James and Lily were holding hands, so Sirius fell in step beside Peter, who was still trying to blot the remaining porridge from his hair.

"Did you notice anything funny about Remus this morning? His eyes, I mean," Sirius clarified as he offered the shorter boy a handkerchief.

Peter stared at him, puzzled. "His eyes?"

Sirius flushed again, feeling foolish. "Well, they were green."

"So?"

"Never mind," Sirius said, not wanting to press the subject.

***

Tracking Remus down was more difficult than Sirius expected. Remus was already seated with his quill out by the time Sirius arrived in Transfiguration, and Professor McGonagall, her beady eyes fixed on the not-quite-late Sirius, announced that any disruptions would be punished with both loss of House points and detention. After class, McGonagall kept James, Sirius, and Lily late to quiz them about the status of the Gryffindor team- their usual Keeper had recently hexed his arms on backward, and Lily was filling in until Madame Pomfrey could sort things out- and by the time they finally escaped to the Great Hall for lunch, Remus had already vanished.

Remus refused to meet his eye in either Charms or Arithmancy, and Sirius knew that his friend wouldn't thank him for forcing the issue in public. He found the other boy in the library after class, but Remus, apparently oblivious to his presence, was conferring quietly with Snape over Lily's book. Snape, eyes glittering, viewed his hesitant approach with no expression. If he had smirked or sneered, Sirius would have marched up to them, told Snape off without a qualm and apologized to Remus in the next breath, but the Slytherin's unusual restraint sapped his resolve and he turned and left without a word. By the time Remus arrived at dinner- at the precise moment James began to hustle the Gryffindor team out to the Quidditch pitch- Sirius, guilt-ridden and somewhat embarrassed, was beginning to lose his patience.

"What does he want me to do?" he demanded to James during a lull in the practice. "I want to apologize- I feel awful!- but he won't even look at me."

"Try to get him alone tonight," James said, revolving slowly on his broomstick to keep an eye on his teammates. "He's had the day to cool down, and he never stays mad for long. Evans, heads up!" he barked as Lily let a Quaffle slip through her defense.

"He was working with Snape again in the library. D'you think he was doing it on purpose? To upset me or something?"

James sighed. "No, he's doing it because he's Remus and he said that he would. Upsetting you is just a perk."

"Seriously, James!"

"Yes, seriously," James said with a smirk. "Look, Sirius. Remus is my friend, too, and if you don't work things out with him to my satisfaction, I'll be happy to kick your ass from here to Knockturn Alley, but I have a practice to run right now. If you don't stop mooning over Moony and start doing your job, I'll take your bat and use it for things that would make Snape blush. Clear?"

"Yes, sir, Mr. Quidditch Captain sir," Sirius muttered, and whacked a Bludger at James's retreating back with more force than was strictly necessary.

***

It was late by the time the Gryffindor team entered the common room, but many of the students were still relaxing around the fireplace as they discussed their weekend plans in Hogsmeade. A quick glance told him that the one student he was interested in was not in sight. Peter, balancing a large bowl of Chocolate Frogs on one knee and his Charms text on the other, motioned him over.

"Moony's upstairs, just got back a little while ago," he said around a mouthful of chocolate. "Go talk to him."

"We'll hang out down here for a while," James added, popping a frog into his mouth. "McGonagall assigned enough Transfiguration homework to keep me busy until dawn, anyway. Oh- she finally gave me permission to take out that book on advanced Transfiguration theory. I picked it up after lunch. We should start looking through that one soon- it's supposed to have the actual instructions for the transformation and as well as the theory."

"Good... that's the last one we need. I've been working on her for months with no luck."

Peter grinned. "Probably 'cause you told her that you wanted it because of the pictures of transfigurations gone wrong. Said that it would help keep you on the right path or something."

"It was worth a try," Sirius protested. "Speaking of which, I really wouldn't mind seeing those pictures, James..."

"Not a chance, Black," James said. "Upstairs you go. Scoot."

Sirius bared his teeth in near-grin, and scooted.

***

It was quiet upstairs, and dark. Sirius almost turned and left before he spotted the slim figure at the window gazing up at the half moon.

"Nice night," he said after a few anguished minutes spent cursing his complete lack of inspiration.

Remus half-turned, but continued to watch the moon. "I suppose," he said, his voice so low that Sirius had to move closer to pick up his words. Then, after a few minutes of silence: "It represents balance, you know. Light and dark. Harmony. I like it, I think."

"I threw off your harmony this morning, didn't I." It wasn't a question, and Remus only offered him a half-smile, finally turning to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry, Re. Snape just sets my teeth on edge, and I lost my temper when you defended that prat to me." //Especially when it's so obvious that he's just using his precious project as an excuse to get close to you.// "I didn't really mean to call you, well..."

"A Dark creature?" The half-smile grew into a full one, slightly crooked, but genuine. "I am, though."

"Well, yeah, but that's just one day a month. It's not _you_, the real you, any more than Peter is a Slytherin because Rosier once bullied him into telling where James and Lily went to make out."

The crooked smile faded, and Remus turned away for a minute. "No more Slytherin comments, please? I know how you feel about Severus, but I did promise to help him. He's not my favorite person, but we work well together and we share some interests in common. You're in no danger of being replaced, if that's what you're worrying about."

Sirius shrugged. "I'll try, I guess. I just don't trust him." //I don't like the way he looks at you when you're not paying attention.// He forced a grin. "I'll behave- at least until you're done with that project."

That, at least, drew another smile. "I suppose that that's the most I can ask for. Anything more might permanently damage you."

"Are you saying that I lack self-control?"

The smile turned into a grin. "Don't you?"

Sirius mock-frowned, feeling somewhat better. "Don't think that you can distract me by being right- that doesn't work on me."

"No? Then how am I supposed to distract you?"

He blinked; that wasn't quite what he expected, and Remus looked unusually intent despite the grin. "Well, James either insults me or makes extravagant threats. Peter plays dumb or throws Chocolate Frogs. You usually use long words and dissect my sentences until I can't remember what I originally meant to say."

"All right. How do you distract me?"

That was easier; he knew the answer to that one. "I offer you a backrub. Want one?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Remus said dryly.

At Sirius's amused (and mildly obscene) gesture, Remus obligingly shrugged out of his shirt and stretched himself full-length on his bed. Sirius, his own minor aches forgotten, set to work on the other boy's back and shoulders. Remus sighed and sank into the bed, eyes half-closed.

It was an old routine of theirs, so old that Sirius couldn't quite remember how it had begun. Remus was often bothered by tension as the moon waxed; Sirius had a school-wide reputation for giving the best massages in Gryffindor Tower. It worked out well- Sirius claimed that at least half of his conquests were the result of the techniques he had honed on Remus. Remus, for his part, didn't much care what Sirius claimed as long as he kept rubbing. Sirius, during a rare moment of introspection, had once thought that it might be a reaction to the way Remus courteously but firmly avoided physical content from everyone else, leaving him with the overflow. He had mentioned it to Remus, but his friend had only shrugged in response. More often, he reflected that Remus acted very much like a puppy being petted. _That_ he never mentioned. He knew better.

It was... pleasant, rubbing Remus's back. Not at all like giving massages to any of his crushes. He knew where he stood with Remus, and he knew exactly how Remus liked to be touched. By the time he reached that point in his relationships, most of the original infatuation had amicably dwindled. Easily distracted, he supposed.

Finding a particularly tense spot, he pushed harder, kneading into the wiry muscle. Remus made a sound halfway between a purr and a growl, and buried his face in his pillow. His skin, unmarked except for the faint, silvery scar at the junction of his neck and shoulder, gleamed in the faint moonlight. //Wouldn't Snape just love to see him like this.//

His mind suddenly fixed on an image from breakfast: Remus pointing out a passage, and Snape just nearly brushing his finger. Remus hadn't even seemed to notice, where he would have normally have distanced himself immediately from such a familiar gesture. It was... unlike him. He had never known Remus to accept even the illusion of intimacy from anyone at all, even him. Only backrubs. Almost unconsciously, his motions grew rougher, and Remus stretched luxuriously under his hands.

//What is he thinking about?// It had never occurred to him to wonder what Remus thought about during their sessions. There was no need or room for thought, really... just sensation.

//Who is he thinking about?// He worried at his lower lip, concentrating on the play of moonlight on skin. //Is he imagining Snape's hands on his body, Snape's voice in his ears?//

Remus twisted suddenly, peering up at him. "Are you all right, Sirius? I smell blood."

Sirius realized dully that his lip was bleeding. "It's nothing, really," he said, his voice sounding distant in his own ears. "I just bit it."

The other boy's face was in shadow, but Sirius could still catch the hint of green in the wide eyes. //I never noticed that his eyes shifted color. Even Peter noticed.//

Remus reached up, his hand just nearly touching Sirius's face. "Can I help?"

They stared at each other for a long moment, and then Sirius jerked his head away. "No," he muttered. "I'll be fine."

He heard footsteps and voices, James teasing Peter about finishing an entire carton of Chocolate Frogs. He moved away, blindly seeking his own bed. A low voice stopped him.

"Are you all right, Sirius?"

Sirius didn't want to turn around, didn't want to see Remus in the moonlight, didn't want to see a phantom Snape hovering over his friend. "Yes. I'm fine."

Remus could scent a lie as easily as he could blood, but he didn't challenge Sirius's statement. Sirius heard him draw the curtains around his bed and he did the same before James and Peter could speak to him. He closed his eyes and curled up under his blanket, but he didn't fall asleep until long after the moon had set.

***