Bring Me to Life

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Chapter 3: Awaken

~*~

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong

--Rascal Flatts

September 28, 2007

When Harry awoke he felt dazed and confused; the room he was in was definitely not his bedroom and looked suspiciously like a hospital room. The presence of a strong medicinal smell that he recognized clearly due to numerous ambulance runs to the emergency room confirmed Harry's thoughts. Rolling over and reaching towards the blurry bedside table for his glasses, Harry felt a dull pain begin to throb in his head. He looked around the room, wondering what exactly had landed him in there and how long he had been asleep. It wasn't abnormal for him to wake up in an infirmary of sorts after seven years of Quidditch, but this was a Muggle hospital and he was accustomed to bringing other people there rather than being a patient himself. In fact, one of the things they had learned in Ambulance training was the importance of doing your job and being careful to avoid becoming a patient too. He hoped and prayed that he hadn't been taken ill while on a call; not only would he feel terrible for leaving the rest of his crew out to dry but it would not look good if he had missed numerous days of work because of it.

His hope drained from him when he noticed a blonde girl in the entrance to his room. Stephanie's face lit up with a smile when she saw that Harry was awake, and she quickly came to his bedside.

"Hello there! We were wondering when we'd be graced with your presence again!" Stephanie cried, hugging Harry around loosely so as not to harm him. Harry hugged her back and winced as the pain throbbed in his head again.

"Sorry, love," Steph began. "Does your head hurt a lot?" she asked, eyebrow raised in concern.

"Just throbs a little, but I am used to my head hurting..." Harry answered aimlessly. Stephanie shot a confused look his way but she chose not to acknowledge the comment. Harry caught the look and smiled "Never mind then..." he said. "What happened to me? I don't remember anything. And where am I?"

"St. Thomas' Hospital, and don't worry you're going to be fine. You were sick and you passed out, the doctors said it was probably caused by shock or stress." Stephanie shrugged, "Or maybe a little of both. We thought you hit your head when you fell but you didn't have a concussion or anything. They said that you would sleep off the exhaustion and until then not to worry."

"Oh." Harry didn't know what to say. His mind raked over the new information and a question caught in his mind. "We? We were on a call, weren't we? I'm sorry Steph..."

"Don't apologize! It's not your fault. In our line of work it's not uncommon for long-time technicians to suddenly succumb to stress or something similar. Sometimes there is just something that sets you off." Steph smiled and Harry felt a little better. It didn't make sense to him because he had never reacted like that to a call before.

"What was the call? I can't remember..."Harry asked, " I don't understand what was any different about this one than any other. I was fine until now. His brow furrowed in confusion as he tried to think of what had happened. Had the stress just gotten to him?

"It was two nights ago, and it wasn't far from here. And it was a man about our age," Steph took a deep breath. "He's alive, but just barely. It looked like someone had hit him over the head but he had a suicide note so it was...strange. You took one look and...that is what happened."

Harry closed his eyes and tried to think back to the night. He could vaguely remember hearing a call and riding towards it but then this memory seemed to go blank. But he could tell there was something not right.

"Who is he?" Harry asked, eyes on Stephanie warily.

"I'm not sure. He had no identification or anything. He's in this hospital actually, but in critical condition. Apparently there is someone coming to identify him today. I've been checking up on him. I hope he makes it through okay, you know? So young..."Stephanie looked down and Harry took her hand. He knew it was tough for her when people their age died.

"I hope so, too. I wish I could remember what happened. I feel so useless."

"Don't worry about it, love." Steph whispered, and wrapped her arms around Harry one again. "I'm just glad to see you awake now."

Harry smiled and pulled away. "It's good to be awake. I wish I could remember what happened, though."

"I'm sure you will," Steph smiled. "I'll let you get some rest now while I go check on him. Maybe I can find out if you'll be released soon." She went to the door and, turning back, said "sometimes when something is too much, your mind blocks it out." With a small wave, she was gone.

"You can say that again," Harry whispered to his self, and settled himself back into his bed.

***

Hermione and Remus decided to take a trip to St. Thomas' Hospital for a couple of reasons. One of them was the fact that Draco Malfoy could actually be alive and they had to find out. Another was that if it really was Draco, then they would be there for him when he awoke. If no one had been able to identify him, then chances were that he didn't have anyone close to him in London.

While the thought of seeing Draco again was a little unsettling, both Hermione and Remus knew that when he had supposedly died he had been helping the Order and had died an ally. His relationship with Harry had changed him, whether or not he had made the decision of his own accord or Harry had convinced him was unknown to them. Hermione had never been close to Draco aside from a few conversations and light arguments about Potions or Arithmancy. Harry and Draco had been discrete and while Draco had made peace with both Ron and Hermione, albeit grudgingly, they had never become as friendly as Harry would have liked.

That didn't change the fact that Hermione had been heartbroken for Harry on that day when he was told that Draco was gone. She knew he had fallen apart inside and it was her fault, though she had never gotten a chance to tell Harry that the absence of a friendship between her and Draco hadn't impacted the news she gave him that day.

It was Tuesday when Hermione and Remus entered the hospital located in London. They were unsure of what to expect and Hermione felt a slight panic attack coming on. She tried to keep her breaths calm and when Remus noticed he took her hand and squeezed it. She looked at him and smiled, the reassurance enough to stave off an attack.

They were both nervous; it had been an endless eternity of ten years since they had seen Draco. And they wondered what it would be like to encounter Harry after believing a lie for so long.

Most of all, Remus wondered what life would be like for Hermione if she was suddenly rid of the heavy burden of guilt and despair that she had carried around with her far too long.

They approached an information desk at the hospital and were directed up two floors to the patient ward. Once they arrived, Hermione took a deep breath and Remus looked over the desk at a young woman with pretty brown eyes.

"Hello," she said. "Can I help you?"

Remus looked at her gratefully and with a weary smile and began. "There was an unidentified man brought here two days ago. We were wondering if we could see him."

"He's in the ICU," the girl began, "and you can only go in for about ten minutes. He was identified about an hour ago actually, do you know him?" the girl asked, looking back and forth between the man and the younger woman standing beside him.

"We are old friends. Did you say he was identified?" Remus asked, one eyebrow slightly raised. He wondered who had come already. He looked to Hermione and saw that she seemed surprised by the news as well.

"Yes, he was," the young girl replied a pulled a sheet of paper out of a folder. "A woman came today and identified him as Draco Malfoy. Apparently he has no family living in London."

Hermione gasped, hearing someone who had never known Draco say his name was unnerving. It was true that Draco was alive. She fought back the urge to cry and Remus hugged her tightly. "It's okay, Hermione. Let's go see him," he said. He knew what she was feeling and he was a little in shock himself.

Just then, a girl about Hermione's age came to the desk and smiled at the girl behind it. "Hey, Amanda," she smiled. "Harry is awake now. He doesn't remember much but he seems okay."

"I'll send a doctor right in. I'm glad he's awake!" Amanda cried.

Hermione and Remus looked at each other open-mouthed. It couldn't be that they were talking about Harry Potter. It just wasn't possible. They both looked at the blonde girl, who was still talking to Amanda. It looked like they knew each other and from the impression Remus got from the girl Amanda, she knew 'Harry' as well.

Remus was about to say something when the blonde girl suddenly looked serious and asked about the man in ICU. "Has he been identified yet?" she asked, biting her lip a little nervously.

"Yes," Amanda replied, "His name is Draco Malfoy. Are you going to see him?" Amanda gestured to Hermione and Remus added, "They would like to see him too. They're old friends."

Remus wondered how the girl called Stephanie knew Draco and he cast a glance at Hermione. She looked like she was wondering the same thing. Stephanie seemed nice, and he was about to introduce himself when she turned to them.

"I'm Stephanie," the blonde said, extending her hand towards Remus. "I don't know him- Draco Malfoy- but I was on the crew that brought him in on Sunday. I've been checking up on him since that day, between him and my partner Harry I've been a little busy. I'll show you the way to his room if you'd like." She smiled at them and turned to lead them down a hall.

Hermione turned to Remus with a confused face, and Remus felt the same way. Could it be that this girl was talking about their Harry? She didn't think it would be polite to ask, as the girl was a complete stranger to her. Instead she smiled and said, "I'm Hermione and this is my friend Remus. We knew Draco awhile back."

"Oh," Stephanie replied, eyes cast downward as they walked through a quite hall and took a right. "He wasn't in the best of shape but the doctor's think he'll pull through. I'm glad that he's been identified though, it seemed no one knew who he was. I hope the woman who came to identify him is still here, I'd like to speak with her." Stephanie looked thoughtful.

Remus and Hermione followed in companionable silence, also hoping that the woman was still around. Whoever it was, there was a chance that they knew her.

Hermione decided that Stephanie seemed very nice. It was kind of the girl to watch over Draco when she didn't know who he was. She cast a sideways glance towards Remus and decided that they had to find out about Stephanie's partner, Harry. It would be too much of a coincidence if 'Harry' was Harry Potter and that he had been on the crew that responded to Draco's accident.

They soon came to the end of the hallway, where one side was made of glass windows. On the corner of the window the words "Intensive Care Unit" were printed in block letters and Stephanie stopped and turned towards them. "Once his vitals are stable he'll be moved to a normal hospital room."

Hermione looked in and gasped. The face was Draco Malfoy, only a little older and bruised. But it was definitely he; right down to the platinum blonde hair. Remus took her hand to calm her but he couldn't the catch in his breath and the sight of their former ally-assumed-dead.

"What happened to him exactly?" Remus questioned.

Stephanie frowned and looked back at the broken angel lying on the hospital bed. "It looked like someone hit him from behind, but we're not sure exactly what happened. He had a suicide note but the injury was not self-inflicted. He's in a coma from the blow, but it's not expected to be long-term." She turned to them then and said, "I've got to get back to my partner and let him know that he's been identified. I'm afraid that he might have known him or something because he took the sight of our patient pretty badly. He had quite a shock. Do you mind?"

"Not at all. Thanks for your help," Remus said. "You partner, he is okay, right?"

Stephanie smiled. "He should be. He'll probably want to come and see Mr. Malfoy here. I just hope he can handle it." She shrugged a little and looked between Hermione and Remus. "I'll probably be back in a little while." She turned around and was gone.

"You don't think..."Hermione wondered out loud. "Is it possible? It would be such a coincidence."

"I think it might be. But I also think it's best for us to wait until he comes here. I don't want to overwhelm him by showing up in his room.

Hermione was worried. Now that Draco was alive and she hadn't made a mistake ten years ago would Harry forgive her? Would he even want to see her again? And Remus? "I don't know Remus. What if he hates us?"

"Well, I think he might not be very keen on the idea of us showing up out of nowhere after so long, but he will also need some support here. The bigger picture is that his lost lover who has already grieved over if back after a very long time. And on top of that, he's in a coma. In time I think he'll welcome our presence."

"Maybe so," Hermione agreed. "I would love it if he could look at me as a friend again. After all those years I believed I had been wrong and caused such pain for him, and it turns out I wasn't wrong in the first place. Then what happened that day? Why all the confusion and lies?"

"I don't know. I wish I did." Remus replied, lost in thought. Something had happened at that final battle and it seemed the key to their confusion lay in the mind of the unconscious man that was ten feet away in a hospital bed. "I'm afraid we may never know," he whispered, fully aware that if Draco woke up then there was a large chance he might suffer from amnesia.

Hermione looked again at the man lying in the bed. He looked peaceful, angelic even. She wished so much that he would wake up and be okay, and that Harry would consider reconciliation. Regardless of the fact that Draco was lying there lost in his own mind, it was still a miracle. She hadn't lived a day for ten years when she didn't wake up wondering about Harry, and so she can only imagine how Harry had woken up every day for the past ten years.

***

Stephanie left the couple standing outside of Draco's room, eager to get back to Harry and make sure he was okay. She decided that she would first call base and let the rest of the crew know that Harry was awake. They all were on duty and since she was the one off she had promised to keep them updated. Everyone liked Harry and cared for his well being, however, she was the one closest to him.

He was a mysterious person, to say the least. She knew very little about his past, only that he had been hurt by something bad enough to make him leave whatever home he had had. He had never really admitted to much, but there were times when something she said seemed to jog his memory and he would get lost in his mind somewhere for a short time, before waking up to the world and abruptly leaving or shooing her out.

She didn't claim to be the most insightful person alive but that alone was enough to tell her that he had been through something extremely traumatizing. She hoped that whatever was happening to him now was in no way related to his past- not even remotely. It seemed as if her friend had been through far too much in his life than some people have to deal with in a lifetime.

After calling base and assuring them that Harry was awake and fine- save for a headache and slight selective amnesia- she headed towards his room.

"Hi," she smiled as she saw the green-eyed man sitting up in bed, flipping through a magazine. "How are we feeling now?"

Harry smiled. "Much better. The doctor said I would be okay and as long as I take some time off I'll be good as new. He said I could go home today. Is that what he told you?"

Stephanie frowned slightly before remembering that her original reason for going to the desk was to find out if Harry could go home. She had gotten distracted by the now identified "unidentified man."

"I actually meant to ask and I forgot," she began, laughing a little at Harry's mock frown. "But I was distracted! Our patient's been identified and he's got two visitors. They seem really nice. One of them, I forget her name. Something like 'Hermie' I think. She's with an older-ish guy."

Harry frowned deeply and Stephanie's face formed a worried look. "Something wrong?"

"No, I don't think so..." Harry sighed, but there was a weird feeling nagging in his stomach. The name that Stephanie mentioned seemed too familiar for his liking. He pushed aside the thoughts as a new one came into his head. "And the man? "What's his name, Stephanie? The man?"

Stephanie eyed Harry cautiously and wondered why she didn't want to tell Harry the name. His face worried her a little, like he was concentrating hard on remembering something, or trying to figure out the pieces of a riddle. With a sigh she decided that if she didn't tell him he would find out somehow.

Harry looked up at Stephanie in time to see the slight inner battle playing out across her face. "Something wrong?" he wondered, his heartbeat quickening just a little.

Stephanie sat down at the end of the bed and took Harry's hand. "I'm worried that you reacted the way you did because you knew him, or know him, or something. I just don't want to overwhelm you, especially since you just woke up. The last thing we want is a relapse."

Harry felt the first tendrils of panic begin to clutch at his heart. Nothing about this situation seemed right and he had a bad feeling. He considered for a moment telling Stephanie "never mind" and going home in the dark about everything so that he could avoid whatever was looming ahead of him.

"Listen," Harry began, feeling like he was humouring a child, "I appreciate your attempt to keep me calm but I also need to know. Besides, it's better to tell me now since I'm already in the hospital. I can't think of a better place to get overwhelmed to the point of shock," he smiled at his feeble attempt at a joke.

Stephanie forced a laugh and resigned to Harry's speech. "Okay then. But if you pass out don't miss the bed."

Harry smiled and waited. How bad could it be?

"His name is Draco Malfoy. It's-" but Stephanie stopped at the look of total shock on Harry's face. His face drained completely of colour and his mouth hung open. "Harry?"

Harry didn't know what to think -or say- or do. It just wasn't possible. Draco Malfoy, his Draco, was dead. For ten years. There was just no way. And what had happened? And who was visiting him? What on earth was going on? His hands began to tremble and he felt like he couldn't breathe. From far away he heard someone calling his name and finally, he pulled out of his stupor to stare at his friend.

"Are you okay, Harry?" Stephanie cried, looking terrified. "Harry!"

Harry became very aware of his surroundings and realised how he probably looked to his friend. He closed his mouth feeling slightly numb and tried to speak past the lump forming in his throat. "Drac-Draco. Malfoy? Draco Malfoy?"

It felt like someone had punched him in the stomach and then said "oh yeah, you know how you thought your lover was dead? He's not. He's been alive for the past ten years!"

Then he realized that, except for the punch, that was exactly what had happened.

"Harry, yes. That's his name. Are you okay? You know him? Please breathe!" Stephanie said, taking Harry's hand again and feeling for his pulse, which was racing.

"I'm-I-Is he here? Draco's here?" Harry finally managed to ask, tears threatening behind his eyes.

"Yes. He's here and so aren't two other people to see him."

That fact finally registered in Harry's brain and he goggled at Stephanie. Two people?

"I need to see him." Harry stated in disbelief. Seeing meant believing and at the moment he was located very far from belief.

Stephanie was very unsure of what to do, but Harry was gradually calming down and even though he still seemed shocked, he seemed adamant too. With an exasperated sigh she stood up and handed Harry a hospital robe from the drawer of the bedside table. She studied him as he shakily stood and placed the robe around his shoulders. He was pale still, and she could tell his head was hurting by the slight wince that crossed his features as he stood up. She also thought that in his eyes there was a small glimmer of something -hope, maybe- and for a moment she wondered exactly how this Draco person fit into Harry's life.

He smiled feebly at Stephanie, feeling a little bit of relief. A warm feeling washed over him at the thought of Draco being alive but at the same time, another feeling trickled into his stomach- guilt. After all this time, Hermione hadn't betrayed him after all. How he could he face her again? How could he face his past again?

Would Draco remember? Could he ever be happy with him again?

Harry decided that asking him self numerous questions would do no good. He took a deep breath and looked at this friend. "Lead the way, please."

Stephanie surveyed the green-eyed man and decided that he seemed calm enough to go for a walk. But she would definitely be right beside him when he saw Draco Malfoy for the first time. There was determination in Harry's eyes and an obvious quest for living proof that this man was indeed alive.

***

Hermione and Remus each took a turn visiting Draco for a short time. Remus went in and leaned down over the boy, offering some words of reassurance. Hermione took his hand and spoke quietly to the man lying before her. When they were ushered out by the nurse inside, they took their post once again behind the glass looking in.

Hermione looked around and noticed some chairs along the wall. With a heavy sigh she sat down in one of them, giving Remus a meaningful look. "I think she was talking about our Harry. I mean; she has to be talking about him. If her partner was surprised by the sight of Draco, and his name is Harry, there's no other possibility."

"I think you're right, Hermione. Harry must have been so shocked that he passed out or was sick or something along those lines. I'm sure he's fine, though," he added at the look of worry on Hermione's face.

They didn't have to wait long to find out, because just then a very familiar face appeared at the end of the hallway.

***