An Epiphany

Arthur Weasley was usually a laidback kind of man. He liked to get along with everyone, and he liked people to be happy. Conflict--even with his own family--was something he consistently tried to avoid. However, that thoughtful disposition had most likely been forgotten somewhere on the way to Lucius Malfoy's office.

The red haired wizard had at last come to a rather enlightening epiphany: Lucius was an asshole. He did not deserve to be liked, and he did not deserve to be happy. What he did deserve though was a swift kick in the pants...and Mr. Weasley was just the one to do it.

Honestly, couldn't the blond prick lay off for once? After the fist fight in Diagon Alley and insulting Ginny mere days before her first year at Hogwarts, did Malfoy really have to go about making things worse?

Arthur glanced down at the copy of the Daily Prophet he was holding. Apparently, the answer was 'yes', Malfoy did have to go about making things worse. The story about his flying car, the Ford Anglia, was being talked about all over the Ministry courtesy of Lucius Malfoy...as if the Daily Prophet article wasn't mortifying enough already. Reaching Malfoy's office, Arthur didn't even bother to knock. Lucius, however, merely raised an eyebrow in mild surprise at this intrusion before speaking.

"What do you want, Arthur?" the haughty aristocrat drawled.

"A bloody explanation!" Mr. Weasley growled, holding up the Daily Prophet. "Where do you get the balls," he yelled, pointing at the newspaper, "to do something like this!"

"Honestly, Arthur," Malfoy replied smugly, "you really should calm down. All this shouting can't possibly be good for your blood pressure."

"I will calm down as soon as you learn to act civilly, you snaky bastard!"

Lucius's smirk widened slightly. "Funny, Arthur, the only one who seems to be acting uncivil here is you."

Mr. Weasley could already feel his temper rising to the boiling point. Somehow, Malfoy always knew just what buttons to push. "Flourish & Blotts wasn't enough for you?" he accused angrily. "You have to embarrass me further?"

"Why, Arthur," Lucius retorted, the light amusement completely evident now, "you don't need my help to humiliate yourself. I'm actually surprised you don't snap your wand right now. You and the rest of your flea-bitten family are practically Mudbloods anyway."

In a shockingly fast move, Arthur lost his temper and leapt forward, fully intending to rip out Lucius's tongue and throttle him with it. Yanking the astonished blond over the desk, Mr. Weasley wasted no time punching him in the gut. Straining to breathe, Malfoy swung around with a fierce uppercut, his knuckles connecting with Arthur's Adam's apple. Choking, Mr. Weasley blindly pushed Lucius away from him. Malfoy stifled a cry of pain as the shove brought his kneecaps slamming into the solid oak wood of his desk.

"Fuck you!" Lucius snarled in a most undignified manner.

With a kick to the other wizard's already abused shins, Arthur retorted, "It'd probably improve your mood!"

Dodging gamely to the left, Malfoy sneered, "Are you volunteering?"

Mr. Weasley cringed at such a despicable idea and stepped back. "...Okay, getting weird!" The red haired wizard started to leave, but then stopped to add, "Besides, wouldn't it be shame for your pureblood Pride if you completely lose this argument to me?"

Silver-grey eyes widened furiously as the insult struck a chord. "You're not leaving that easily, Arthur!"

Before the red haired wizard could move, Lucius pounced on him, and they both came crashing unceremoniously to the plush carpet floor. All matters of good form were abandoned as both men beat the crap out of each other with extreme gusto. Mr. Weasley aimed a vicious left-hook at Malfoy's face, but, trying to avoid a second black eye, Lucius flipped them so that he was "on top" straddling Arthur's hips. Then, as they resumed struggling, Malfoy slipped and fell even further onto Mr. Weasley, bringing their lips smashing together.

Perhaps his mind blanked out, or perhaps he just couldn't comprehend what was happening, but either way it took Arthur a rather drawn out moment to realize he was kissing Lucius and...enjoying it? As awful as it seemed, it actually wasn't. Lucius's lips were smooth and enticing, and Mr. Weasley gasped as the other wizard nipped at his lower lip. Malfoy took advantage of this, and his tongue darted forward, exploring the interior of Arthur's mouth, coaxing him to respond. And Arthur did, the taste of Lucius intoxicating him. Malfoy was like champagne, cool and refreshing with a slightly addictive sweetness.

Finally, they broke apart for air, but besides that, neither man moved. Their breath mingled, and they kept staring into each other's eyes and... With an especially violent thrust, Arthur propelled Malfoy off of him.. Lucius rolled to his feet swiftly, wiping his mouth in disgust on his finely tailored sleeve. Arthur stood as well, gagging and wondering what, in Merlin's name, had come over him.

They were about to charge at each other again and probably continue this all day when Malfoy's com unit on his desk went off. It let out a shrill beep to get their attention, and the blue puff of smoke it emitted signaled that Minister Fudge was calling Lucius to his office. Quickly glancing away, they straightened their robes--torn and rumpled as they were--and Mr. Weasley started for the door.

"This isn't over!" Malfoy shouted at his opponent's retreating back. Arthur resolutely ignored him except to make a particularly rude had gesture and continued leaving.

Mr. Weasley had barely gotten to the end of the hall when a furious voice called out, "Ar-THUR!" Smiling mischievously to himself, the red haired wizard decided that he would have to thoroughly thank Fred and George later for always keeping a well-stocked supply of Zonko's infamous Stink Pellets.

~END~