The Room of Lost Dreams

o0o

Hermione drifted into consciousness, finding herself lying on the floor of Arthur Weasley's shed. She scrubbed her eyes, which were surprisingly gritty, as her sleep-fogged mind began to wake, bringing with it the memory of what she'd done with Severus.

Her first reaction was one of panic, realising not only that she'd done exactly what Ginny had told her not to, but she was also completely at a loss to explain how she'd lost control of the situation. She got to her feet with a groan, as the shed floor was not the most comfortable of sleeping surfaces, and was shocked to find that her back was not the only part of her that was sore. She pressed her hand against her lower abdomen, which was as clothed as it'd been before she entered her memories, and felt an answering twinge from muscles that had been well used.

With a gasp of realisation, Hermione groped for her bag in search of a dose of Contraceptive Potion. Fortunately, there was one left. She knew that she was probably being silly and that she couldn't possibly become pregnant from what had been, as far as she could see, strictly a mental exercise, but given the unknown enchantments on the journal, she didn't wish to take any chances.

She swallowed the bitter potion, feeling the telltale tingle of magic as it entered her stomach, and sat on the suitcase with a shaky sigh. The journal was lying on the floor next to where she had awoke, its cover shining in a sliver of afternoon sun that shone through an opening in the shed wall.

The empty phial fell from her fingers, and Hermione buried her face in her hands as she was buffeted by a dozen conflicting inner voices. Self-hatred, yearning, revulsion, arousal, grief, fury, and an irresistible compulsion to speak to Severus all battled for dominance, and she let them, until the tears ceased falling.

When she raised her head, she jumped, finding Arthur Weasley standing in the doorway scrutinising her.

'I- I thought you were at work.'

'Kingsley sent me home,' he said, sitting next to her on the crate of comics. 'He thought I was needed more here than at the Ministry. For today, at least.' His open features were crossed by a frown. 'Hermione, I don't mean to be forward, but Ginny asked me to find you. I know what you told her was in confidence, but I hope you'll understand why she felt she had to tell me.'

'I do,' said Hermione, her voice thick from having cried for so long. 'I know I've been an idiot about this, and I'm getting rid of it this afternoon. I simply can't trust myself with it any longer.'

'You know how to get rid of it?' asked Arthur in surprise. 'Well, I suppose you do,' he amended hastily. 'I suppose the question I ought to be asking is whether or not I need to ask Ron or Harry to help you.'

'You mean to make sure I really do it,' she said dully.

'Hermione-'

'It's all right, Mr Weasley,' she said, meeting his gaze squarely. 'You're right to be concerned, but Ginny trusted me to know when I got too close. Now that I've reached that point, I hope you can trust me to dispose of it properly.'

Arthur looked distinctly uncomfortable. 'Well, you see, Hermione, I wasn't expecting you to be quite so accommodating on the subject.'

A tiny smile lifted the corner of Hermione's mouth. 'I'd be happy to argue and stamp my foot if it would help.'

'Under normal circumstances, I'd be quite happy to see the journal gone, but...' he trailed off with a futile gesture.

'These aren't ordinary circumstances,' said Hermione, who was doing her best to keep curiosity out of her voice.

'That, and Severus was hardly an ordinary man, as I'm sure you know.'

Hermione froze. 'No, he wasn't,' she said at last.

'Certainly a far cleverer man than I.'

'I don't see how you can say-'

Arthur held up his hand to forestall her protest. 'What I mean is that Severus must have seen Voldemort's attempt on his life coming. What's more, he knew how I'd survived that beast's bite and ought to have prepared accordingly. And downright methodically, if I know the man as well as I thought I did.'

Hermione frowned. If that had been so, Severus had been slipshod not to provide the Malfoys with Sanguinus Solution. Then, an awful thought occurred to Hermione. 'Unless he didn't wish to live.'

Arthur looked rather taken aback. 'The life he lived had to have taken a toll, to be sure,' he said nervously, 'but that seems like an overly dire assessment, don't you think?'

Hermione didn't answer.

Arthur cleared his throat. 'Since this is all speculative anyway, let's assume for the sake of argument that Severus Snape did, in fact, wish to survive the battle at Hogwarts. I'm nowhere near as clever as he, and even I can think of several contingency plans for surviving Voldemort's inevitable attempt on his life.'

'It's an interesting train of thought,' said Hermione, attempting to keep her voice light.

Arthur gave her a piercing look. 'Frankly, Hermione, I'm quite curious about that journal. If it contains any part of Severus, he might be able to provide insights into his plans.'

Hermione felt a sinking feeling, but asked anyway. 'Why would that be important, Mr. Weasley? He's dead.'

Arthur leaned towards her, his eyes flicking from right to left in search of eavesdroppers. 'It is my strong suspicion that Severus Snape survived the snake's bite,' he said quietly. 'Furthermore, I had it from Kingsley that you Floo called him two nights ago seeking information on Severus's body, which leads me to believe that at the time you believed him to be alive, as well.'

The sinking feeling solidified in the pit of her stomach. 'I don't know what to say, Mr. Weasley.'

Arthur's eyes widened. 'Good gracious, I hope you didn't think I was implying you had anything to do with the body's disap-' He paused to collect himself. 'What I mean to say is that it was never my intention to- oh fiddlesticks, Hermione. I just want you to know that I can provide a friendly ear. I might even be able to help you, if you need it.'

'But you'd have to inform the Ministry, wouldn't you?'

'Well, I'd tell Kingsley, surely, but not because he's Minister. I'd tell him because he's a fine Auror, and we might be able to help him. Besides, missing war dead are not my responsibility, so that's as far as the information would go.'

Hermione shook her head sadly. 'The journal isn't safe, Mr. Weasley. And if it makes you feel better, the Severus in the journal couldn't be further from the Severus Snape who taught at Hogwarts, except for the fact that both are dangerous in ways known and unknown.'

Arthur squeezed her hand. 'That's for certain,' he said. 'Well, I'm glad we had this talk, Hermione. And no matter what happens, I want you to know that my offer to help stands.'

She smiled gratefully at him. 'Thank you for being so understanding, Mr Weasley. One thing I can tell you with a fair degree of confidence is that Severus is in a better place now.'

'Well, that's exactly what I'd have for him,' said Arthur, rising at last. 'I think I'll go see what the boys are up to. An owl dropped off some post for you three not long after I got home.'

'I'll be in before too long.'

'Molly'll be serving tea. You'll want to be there before the chocolate biscuits are gone.'

'I will, thanks. Won't be a minute.'

Arthur gave her a quick smile and left by the side door to the garden.

'Hoi, Pig! Are you there?' she called.

From within the owl box in the corner of the shed came a squeaky yawn. The bird's lethargy didn't last long, and before she knew it the tiny owl was fluttering excitedly around her, hooting enthusiastically.

'Hang on, Pig, it'll be just a moment.'

Pig landed on the spinet stool and hooted impatiently at her.

Hermione grabbed a spare bit of parchment from her bag and scribbled a quick note on it. She wrapped it carefully around Severus's journal and handed it to the owl. She caressed its cover unconsciously and held it out to the excitable owl.

'It's going to Chateau de Malfoy, somewhere in the south of France. Think you're all right for such a long flight?'

Pig drew himself up to his full, unimpressive height.

Hermione burst out laughing. 'All right. Have a safe flight.'

The owl bobbed his head up and down, either in excitement or acknowledgement, and began flapping his wings. After several seconds, he rose slowly into the air, the diary grasped tightly in his talons.

Hermione watched Pigwidgeon dart off through the hayloft door into the early afternoon sun.

'No, Pig! France is south of here!' she shouted.

The owl spun dizzily in the sky, but ultimately ended up going in the correct direction.

Hermione shook her head, uncertain whether to laugh or cry.

'Godspeed, Severus,' she whispered.

She sat down on the spinet stool with a sigh. On an impulse, she lifted the dark wood cover. The aged ivory had yellowed but a surprising percentage of the keys were still intact for so old an instrument.

Haltingly, she picked out the bass line of 'Heart and Soul,' remembering her piano tutor's particular hatred of the song with a smile. The fingers of her left hand bounced merrily from key to key, as if she hadn't taken a nine-year hiatus from piano.

Encouraged, she added the right hand melody, unevenly at first, but eventually with the same ease as the left hand. Before she knew it, she was singing Harry and Ron's nonsense along with her playing.

'Heart and soul! La dah dee dah dee dah! Heart and soul! La dah dee dah dee-'

And suddenly, she knew.

Her fingers dropped tunelessly onto the keys.

'Damocles's Doddle!' she swore. 'He didn't!'

She grabbed her bag and began pulling things haphazardly out of it until she found Secrets of the Darkest Art.

o0o

Afternoon tea at Chateau de Malfoy was perhaps the perfect meal, with copious amounts of fragrant estate honey drizzled over crumpets. Tea was nearly superfluous.

'I'm relieved to see your appetite's returned,' said Narcissa, taking a dainty sip from her cup.

'You try not eating for four days and see what it does to you,' grumbled the man to her left, as he furtively took another bit of cake.

'You misunderstand me, dear. I simply meant that you seem to be returning to health, and I'm glad of it.'

'Yes, you'll be rid of me soon,' he agreed.

'Severus,' she said with exasperation. 'We wouldn't have you go before you are healed and ready to face the world.'

'I think I'm far better suited to fading into obscurity,' he said, giving the cakes a rest and blowing across the surface of his tea.

Narcissa shook her serviette at him. 'You are impossible. Lucius, do talk some sense into him.'

'Hmmm?' came a voice from behind a large newspaper.

'Lucius, have you heard a word of our conversation?' asked Narcissa with a trilling laugh. 'You've been positively mum since the post arrived. Whatever can you be looking at?'

'Business, my pet. Nothing at all that would interest you.'

'Lucius,' said Narcissa in a warning tone. 'You haven't put any more money on that clip-winged nag of yours?'

Lucius set down the paper with a sigh. 'Not as such, no,' he said, tossing a plain black book into the centre of the table. 'Does this mean something to you, Severus?'

Severus glanced at the book. 'I don't care to wager, Lucius, and I fail to see why-'

He ceased speaking abruptly as the colour drained from his face.

He seized the book and turned it over in his hands, examining it with care. 'Where in the Ninth Circle did you get this, Lucius?'

'It is yours, then,' said Lucius with satisfaction. 'I oughtn't be surprised. A pricklier set of protection spells I've never seen.'

Narcissa was eyeing the book with trepidation. 'It looks rather like that old diary He gave you, Lucius.'

'It's not,' said Severus shortly. 'It's quite the opposite. Who sent it to you, Lucius?'

'An associate of mine who is the soul of discretion,' said Lucius. 'Now, if you'd care to tell us why you turned an attractive shade of chalk when you laid eyes on it, perhaps I could be prevailed upon to help you destroy it.'

'No!' snapped Severus. As if realising his error, he cleared his throat and took a sip of tea. 'It's not as simple as destroying it,' he said. 'The question of what is to be done with the thing bears consideration.'

Lucius made a flourishing motion with his wand, and the book leapt from Severus's grasp into his own outstretched hand. 'I'm sorry Severus, I'm afraid I need convincing that it's harmless before allowing a convalescent to handle it.'

Severus glared at him. 'As I was the one who enchanted the damned thing, I'm the last person who ought to be worried about using it.'

Lucius beamed at the admission. 'That wasn't so hard, was it? Now, what did you enchant it to do?'

'It contains nothing that you'd understand,' said Severus shortly.

Lucius smiled. 'It can't have been anything that important, otherwise you wouldn't have abandoned it at Hogwarts.'

Severus slammed his palm down on the table. 'Damn it, Lucius, who sent it? Who knows I'm here?'

'Nobody at all,' said Narcissa, placing a calming hand on his arm. 'Nobody with whom you need concern yourself.'

'Well, which is it?' demanded Severus, struggling to his feet. 'Nobody at all, or nobody important?'

'Both,' said Lucius, seemingly unperturbed by Severus's agitation. 'Do sit, dear man. You'll tire yourself.'

'I demand an answer.'

'The person who sent the journal is one of the medical staff who contributed to your dramatic recovery,' said Lucius, watching Severus closely.

'Well, if you'd bothered bringing someone competent in the first place, you wouldn't have needed to invite an expert from England,' said Severus, lightly rubbing the bandage that was fastened loosely over his wound. 'But that does narrow the field considerably. Very few were privy to Arthur Weasley's rather unorthodox treatment when he was bitten by Nagini.'

'You mean there's precedent for sewing skin?' asked Narcissa, wrinkling her nose.

'Quite a number, yes,' said Severus. 'You may have forgotten that I grew up in a Muggle village. Stitches were not an uncommon treatment for injury.'

'Vile-sounding stuff, catgut,' commented Lucius. 'Sounds like a Scottish pudding.'

'If you'd bothered telling us that an obscure potion and catgut would be needed to revive you, we would have had it on hand,' said Narcissa, giving Severus a hard look.

'Impossible, I'm afraid,' he said, seating himself once more. 'Not only would it have given away my plan entirely should the Dark Lord have attempted Legilimency on you or Lucius, but Sanguinus Solution is viable only for a few days after brewing, and any reasonably well-stocked apothecary would have it.'

Narcissa's frown deepened. 'Monsieur Aubergine is a trusted apothecary whose family has served the Malfoys since-'

'-Before wands were invented, no doubt,' sniffed Severus. 'But all this is beside the point. The journal arrived in the afternoon post, which means that it came from overseas. As the only people in the world who know of my survival currently live in or near this chateau, it is obvious that the secret of my survival is not as safe as you led me to believe.'

'You needn't worry about absurdities like being invited to cut ribbons at orphanages,' said Lucius.

'Who was it, Lucius? I will have either an answer or my journal.'

The Malfoys looked at one another. 'Severus, please don't upset yourself,' said Narcissa at last.

'It is your husband's refusal to give me what is mine that is upsetting me,' said Severus. 'That and your reluctance to tell me information that will have a profound effect on my future plans. I don't take well to being mollycoddled.'

'Then kindly act like a sensible adult. There's nothing to be gained by exhausting yourself this way,' said Narcissa, meeting his glare with a cool one of her own.

'All will be revealed, old friend,' said Lucius. 'But you really ought to be in bed. Don't trouble yourself about minutiae.'

'Someone has found one of my most private effects,' said Severus. 'In fact, if the finder sent it to me now, then it is likely that he or she knows precisely what it is.'

Narcissa nodded shrewdly. 'Then it's possible that the journal might have helped her understand exactly how to help you?'

'Her? I knew it! It's Poppy Pomfrey, isn't it?' cried Severus, leaping to his feet. His knees gave out and he slumped against the table.

'Snoddy!' called Narcissa. 'Take Severus to his room immediately,' she said when the elf appeared.

He bowed low, and Severus scowled as the elf took his arm. 'My journal, if you please? Unless you'd like to pry painfully into my other affairs?'

Narcissa sighed. 'Very well, give him the dratted journal, as well. And do see that he actually gets into bed, would you, Snoddy?'

The elf Summoned the book with a snap of his fingers, and with a soft pop he and Severus disappeared, but not before Severus shot Narcissa a poisonous glare.

Narcissa pursed her lips and savagely crushed a fragment of biscuit with her teaspoon. 'I knew the girl wouldn't be able to leave well enough alone. She's ruined everything.'

'Be fair, dearest,' said Lucius, withdrawing a piece of parchment from his pocket. 'Miss Granger hasn't broken our confidence. She was kind enough to inform us that she isn't the only one to find Severus's alleged death suspicious. It makes sense, considering that a mere schoolgirl possessed of only the barest facts was able to deduce the truth.'

He handed his wife the parchment, and she began to read, snorting periodically. 'Someone really ought to teach that girl something about subtlety. 'Others will be suspicious because there's no body'' she read aloud. ''And please don't take that to mean that you ought to kill someone to take Severus's place. Or if you do, please Obliviate me so I won't know it was my idea.' Really, as if we've ever killed anybody who didn't deserve it.'

'Still, dashed sporting of her to let us know, by Gryffindor standards. Though it does make one wonder what in that diary made her return it to him, now of all times.'

'You didn't read it?' asked Narcissa with a frown.

'There was nothing to read, my pet. It was completely empty, except when it called me names for attempting to access its contents.'

'Just like the Dark Lord's diary,' whispered Narcissa, going slightly pale.

'Nonsense. Severus says it's not the same, and I will accept his assurances. Now, let's finish tea and then I'll write to Miss Granger to see if I coax some additional information about the journal out of her. Severus is bound to be a closed book on the subject, as it were, and her previous missive shows a most useful propensity towards frankness.'

'Excellent,' said Narcissa, rising. 'Be so good as to give her my regards.'

'Shall I ask her to supper next week?' asked Lucius with a wicked gleam in his eye.

'No need to go too far,' replied his wife.

'Perish the thought,' he said, drawing her into a warm embrace.

o0o